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Carnival of Dating Advice, 16th Edition

Chase Amante's picture

carnival of dating advice

Welcome, once again, to the Carnival of Dating Advice, Edition 16, bringing you the latest and greatest from all over the web on dating, relationships, seduction, and more.

I had to sift through some chaff to get to the wheat this time, including some pretty sales-y articles and a bunch on finding a Russian bride (link to Russian bride website dutifully included several times per article). That said, I did find some wheat.

Your articles today run the gamut from basic to intriguing to roundly exciting. I'll let you decide which is which, but there's something here for just about everybody. I actually thought starting out this was going to be a lackluster carnival, but the deeper into the submissions I got, the more colorful and interesting a carnival it turned out to be.

So here we are, without any further ado...

How to Compliment a Girl Like You've Known Her for Years

Chase Amante's picture

In the article on causes and cures for a moody girlfriend, a reader asks about how to compliment a girl, saying:

Hi there Chase,

Can you write an article about compliments to girls that [you] are interested in. Not just from that you approached cold but girls that you met through hobbies or friends. I tend to like to tell girls aggressive compliments of sexual nature. Like I would think they are good kissers, they have nice ass or legs, or that I love their bodies and also other compliments in which is related to personality type because there are 2 opinions about compliments.

how to compliment a girl

Compliments are a little tricky to get your head around when you first start using them. Go to far overboard, and you seem like you're chasing her; don't compliment at all, and you run the risk of that attractive new woman you've met ending up in auto-rejection.

Then, there are the various kinds of compliments... everything from the most subtle compliments she won't even realize were compliments until she thinks about them later, to those blunt-force-direct compliments our reader talks about, like telling a girl she's got a great pair of legs.

We'll cover all those and more in this article, your complete guide to complimenting women like only a pro knows how.

The 4 Kinds of Girls and Which Ones YOU Should Go For

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kinds of girlsOne of the series I introduced on here a while back - only to ever do two real articles in it - was on girl types... some of the different kinds of girls, that is. We've had some requests to do more articles like these, and I wanted to put together one here that's a primer of the four basic varieties of women you'll run into - and which type is best for you.

What's the use of something like this? Won't you magically happen into a relationship with the woman of your dreams, if you're out there long enough meeting large enough quantities of women?

Personally, I'm more a believer in having a set of logical guidelines, and then running your emotions on top of that, rather than just letting emotions run wild and hoping for the best. Having rules for selecting the right girlfriends (see: "Find the Right Girl;" "Choosing the Right Qualities in a Woman") tends to lead you to superior women as mates. Emotion is what first draws you to them, but logic helps you screen them (and screen out the other women you're emotionally drawn to who don't match your criteria).

Put more simply, especially when it comes to weird, ephemeral topics like dating and mate selection that are taboo to discuss anywhere in polite society, knowing stuff gives you advantages.

And the "stuff" I want to get you knowing today consists of the four basic varieties of women.

Carnival of Dating Advice, 15th Edition

Chase Amante's picture

carnival of dating advice

Here we are, with Carnival 15 of the Carnival of Dating Advice. This is (I think) the biggest carnival we've had yet, with a total of 11 articles making the cut. Looks like submitting to the carnival made it onto some folks' new year's resolutions this January.

Today we've got a panoply of articles, including some great reads. The ones in the pickup section were two of my favorites, and I was a big fan of Tamika Lanelle's contribution this time, presenting a perspective on relationships I hear few people discuss. But there are a ton of solid pieces here, and enough good material to keep you reading, thinking, and learning for a while.

Let's dive in...

Carnival of Dating Advice, 14th Edition

Chase Amante's picture

carnival of dating advice

It's time for our first new carnival of the new year - Carnival 14 of the Carnival of Dating Advice, bringing you the best new

Today's articles include some on talking to women and what to say; one on shyness; and even articles on the impact of money on relationships and the differences in concerns between married and unmarried couples.

Let's proceed with the carnival...

Carnival of Dating Advice, 13th Edition

Chase Amante's picture

carnival of dating advice

Happy holidays, and welcome to the 13th Edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice, bringing you posts and articles on dating, pickup, seduction, relationships, confidence, and more from around the web.

We've got a short-but-sweet collection of articles for you this week - one on sex, and three on relationships, including expectations, keeping a marriage healthy, and getting (repeatedly) broken up with. Just enough here to tide you over for the holidays.

And without further ado, on with the carnival...

3 Second Date Strategies to Make Her Flirt and Swoon

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With a question on strategies to use on a second date, the Tool (one of our valued readers and forum participants) over on the post requesting ideas for new forum join bonus says:

Hey Chase, Personally I know myself and alot of other people would appreciate an ebook, or post on how/when to ask for a second date, taking into account certain things that happen on the first. What I mean is, I have no problems getting second dates with girls who I only kiss once on the first date, its the ones who I either have sex with after taking them home or nearly go all the way with that become cold and unresponsive. I myself usually follow the 3 days rule for getting a second date after the first. My process with women i escalate things quickly with is a follow up text the next day asking about how their day was ect or asking how a test went and then i leave it at that, then i wait another two days and go for a second date. the problem is lately these women have been unresponsive to me or do not agree to go on a second and stop contacting me. I believe its because they think I used them for a one night stand when in fact I do truly want more. So what I was wondering is exactly what are the steps you are supposed to take after escalating so fast with a women to secure that second date or future meets?

So, there's the question of:

  1. How do you get a second date with a girl you aren't intimate with yet?

second date

... and Tool says he's fine on that count, but I want to cover that one today regardless.

Regarding Tool's comment, he's really asking two questions here:

  1. How do you get a second date with a girl you've slept with on the first?

  2. How do you get a second date with a girl you almost slept with on the first... then didn't?

All three of these - the girl you haven't been intimate with; the girl you have been intimate with; and the girl you've almost been intimate with but it didn't happen - offer very different and unique cases for setting up a second date.

In today's article, I want to cover two things, then:

  • How to get a second date, depending on what happened on the first, and
  • How to run that second date.

So let's get to it.

Dating Without Sex: Why It Usually Doesn't Work

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On Ricardus's post "How to Make Her Want You: Lessons from Marketing," a commenter named Garrett reports being conflicted over a few aspects of what's taught here. In particular, he asks why physical intimacy is needed with romantic partners, and if dating without sex isn't also just as possible.

dating without sex

Here's the part of his comment dealing with this topic:

Out of curiosity, I've spent a lot of time researching this topic, and there are a few things I fail to understand. Firstly, to get a girlfriend, why must you sleep with them? If you can prove me wrong then I'd be interested to know, but I feel indifferent about this. I feel that everything in life requires balance and in order to get a girl to like you, you should be yourself, be mindful of ways to improve yourself, and strike a balance between acting like a jerk and on the contrary, a 'wet noodle' who is no challenge whatsoever.

Garrett also goes on to say that he feels like other aspects of what's discussed on Girls Chase feel to him like "manipulation," though this is a topic already addressed in depth in " Is Seduction Wrong?," the basic premise of which is that people who lack the drive to improve themselves fear others who do who become conscious of their own actions and strive to perfect them, typically working to censor them and stop them to prevent competition and declining options for themselves (e.g., you will rarely have a successful career woman who's had to tooth and claw her way to success and improve herself dramatically stand and accuse you of being manipulative for learning seduction, though you will often have a girl who dropped out of high school and works at the local taco shop fly into a frenzy over how "manipulative" men like you are, presuming of course that she doesn't actually know you and is instead setting you up in her mind as some diabolical "other").

I won't cover whether seduction is manipulation and whether I ought to censor myself here or not again, although I will note that it does partly come down to where you draw the line - there are certain "dark arts" of seduction, like October Man and like Sexual Power Reversal, that I simply don't teach because it's too easy to do harm to women by wielding these clumsily. So, I do have an "ethical limit;" if I really honestly think it's something that can lead to the average man doing more harm than good, I don't teach it.

What I will talk about here today is if it's really necessary for you to have sex with a woman you want to pursue a romantic relationship with. Can you skip this step and get by with just waiting for marriage?

It's a question I've been asked a number of times on the site, and haven't addressed yet... at least on here.

But, as it turns out, this is actually one of the very first questions I had to discuss - and debate - on a public scale that has to do with sex.

So come with me, and let's have a look at what happens when you do not have sex.

How to Make Friends? The Master Key to New Friendships

Chase Amante's picture

make friendsOne of our younger readers, by the name of Jaden, asked over in the comments section of my article "Are You Smart? It Doesn't Much Matter Either Way" about high school popularity, asking:

What would the process for becoming popular look like? I would say im on the edge of popularity, as the "cool" kids all talk to me and invite me to their lunch tables and stuff (hardcore, right?), yet they do not invite me to their houses and parties, which are actually quite fun. How can I develop an air of superiority, and is there anything in specific I can do to raise my status?

If I had to redefine that question to really get to its gist, I'd say it's more, "How do I make friends with the other students I want to be friends with?" than it is, "How do I make everyone like me more?" What Jaden wants here is to see these classmates of his outside of school - he wants to make friends.

But he isn't the only one who wants to know how to do this better. There are plenty of people who struggle with making friends in high school and college - and even more once they're out of those places.

If you thought it was hard making friends in an environment where everyone is your own age and you all do the same things, just wait until you're out of that environment, and you're working in the professional world where people range from 22 to 62. High school and college end up looking like friendship bonanzas compared to the working world that follows them.

Making friends isn't actually that hard a process though - take it from me, a guy who spent his the entirety of his teenage years friendless, then reinvented himself and emerged as someone who made friends with jet-setters, entrepreneurs, seducers, celebrities, and millionaires. How'd I go from zero friends to friends with some of the most in-demand people you'll meet, whom everyone wants to be friends with?

The secret, I found, lies in just one master key - from which all the other paths to friendship flow out.

Carnival of Dating Advice, 12th Edition

Chase Amante's picture

carnival of dating advice

Welcome once again, to this, the 12th Edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice. Featuring articles on pickup, seduction, relationships, self-improvement, and more, we seek to bring you some of the best of the Internet every two weeks, and this week is no exception.

This week's articles include two on break ups and exes, two on managing your internals, and one on falling in love - essentially covering the entire range of relationships, from approaching to getting into a relationship to getting out of it and staying out of it. This week's carnival might almost be considered a short-and-sweet Relationship 101 (with a little self-improvement thrown in for flavor).

And with that said, on with the carnival...