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Infidelity can be one of the most difficult things that
can happen
to you as a man.
Sometimes you feel it coming but try not to admit it to yourself;
other times, it seems to come completely out of left field.
Women are such largely emotional creatures, and if you don’t know how to manage those emotions, you could very well find yourself in a world of hurt.
But what causes infidelity in the first place?
Today I’m going to talk about the root causes of infidelity, share a
painfully valuable story from my past, and talk about how to spot
infidelity before it happens as well as how to handle it if it does
happen to you.
As promised, I will now share a practical technique built on the theory of “sexual prizing”.
Before I begin however, I would like to mention that this post is rather advanced. This is good news for our more experienced readers, but for those of you who are beginners/intermediates, I highly recommend you read my three previous posts that build up to this one:
These posts will work as pillars for the technique I am about to share with you. You will soon see “why” and “how” this all applies.
Although in theory reading these posts beforehand isn’t required, I very much recommend it. Reading them will give you a better, deeper, and broader understanding of the concept I am about to share with you.
Finally, keep in mind that this is an advanced (yet very efficient) technique, which means that having some in-field experience with women might be necessary in order to be able to pull this off properly. Still, if you don’t have that experience, read this post, and try it out and maybe fail anyway – it just might make you better. What I am really saying though is that you should not be too hard on yourself if you are a freshman with women and this doesn’t work as you’d expected.
The
guys that eventually start to “get” women all have one thing in
common: they ALL realize that being
consistent with women is just not
as simple as they thought it was going to be... and they step up
to the
challenge.
In this article, I’m going to tell you why the white knight attitude has to go, and I’m going to give you some clues as to what you should do instead.
First off, what is a white knight and why does it have anything to do with not stepping up to the challenge with women?
A white knight is the name given to a certain type of blind optimism, and it is a mindset that is very common amongst guys who are yet to take the demands of being good with women seriously.
White knight behaviours include things like:
Putting women on pedestals
Making the girl your only focus
Speaking overly intelligently (faking)
Taking everything at face value
Rushing to judgement in order to peripherally impress women or “hold your ground”
Pretending you are asexual (no sexual motives)
Posturing, or running an “impress the damsel” routine
Putting up strong barriers in an attempt to appear like you have good traits like honesty, faithfulness, infatuation, cleanliness, agreeableness, etc.
Roping girls into romantic relationships because they gave you some signals
Have you ever congratulated yourself for something you thought you did really well, only to later discover you actually overlooked huge details and what you were doing wasn’t even half as good as you imagined it was?
White knighting is a result of the same phenomenon. We think we are clever, until the penny drops later that we are actually messing up very important details that are crucial to long-term viability of our behaviour.
I want to make a brief side trip from seduction today to talk about a broader social distinction you will run into that it’s vitally important to understand.
That is the distinction between artificial hierarchies and personal appeal.
In the broader social arena, when it comes to getting hired on jobs, or dealing with legal issues, or negotiating mano-e-mano, or differentiating even between social circle game and cold approach pickup, you’ll find that most people seem to be stronger in one area – navigating and leveraging artificial hierarchies, or appealing to and swaying individuals personally – than they are the other.
And when you’re in your element, you will often find things easier; conversely, when you’re out of it, things will often become fiendishly hard and you will not know why.
The reason why frequently is because you’re trying to achieve your objectives using the wrong strategy for the situation at hand... because each of these two types of power structures require very different approaches.
Very few people ever come to grasp this well enough to move fluidly back and forth between the two.
A
reader writes in, asking the following questions:
“”Chase,
I’ve read several of your articles, and I can relate to quite a bit of what you say. However, it seems to me that in your scenarios, the guy is always the one who is at fault. It’s as though the girl is fully functional, prepared to choose who she is interested in and whether or not the guy fits in to one of her categories, I guess robotic in a way. What I’m trying to get at mainly is the no second chance with women idea. Like if you don’t move fast enough she is gone for good. Is it really the case that the guy has to do everything right or else he is out? This perplexes me as we live in a society where equal opportunity for race, genders, and sexuality is at the forefront. In the corporate world and in the military, women are continually given more and more power/leadership/etc. They are no longer viewed as the traditional queen role from what I see. In this respect, why must the guy solely be the one to make things happen fast, take her as his lover before she flees to the next guy, and so on.
Perhaps I have read your writings incorrectly, but your advice (though as I said much of it rings true with me) seems to put the vast majority of the burden on the guy’s shoulders.
Also, let’s say that I screwed it up with a chick. I took her as my lover, but then later decided she was no longer interested. Walked away, realized I made a mistake. Apologized a couple weeks later, she says she has moved on to someone else. Your principles seem to be true here at first, but when she blames me for the fallout, then comes to the bar that night and makes out with me, only to run off and go kiss on some guy’s cheek, and give all sorts of mixed signals thereafter, things get hazy. No second chances, but I’ll make out with you? It just doesn’t click with me that anyone has all of this figured out. Life isn’t black and white, I don’t think.
I would appreciate your reply!””
So, there are a lot of interesting questions and themes in here worth addressing:
I’m not really going to talk about the other bullets here – I
addressed the “do/should guys REALLY have to do EVERYTHING?” question
here a few weeks ago: “What Role Should Women Play in the Mating
Game?” I’ll throw a quick bone to that one though because I
have a couple more things to say on it you should find interesting. The
third bullet is addressed in that post, and the fourth and fifth in
these two: “Mixed Signals from a Girl: What These Mean”
and “The Paradox of the Flirty Girl.”
Let’s talk about second chances though, because that’s one it seems like a lot of guys want to know about, and it’s worth discussing for sure.
You know that feeling. We all know that feeling. You find yourself caught in the same routine: wake up, go to work, come home, heat up some quick food/order food, watch TV or a movie, go to bed. Then wake up…and do it all over again. Maybe you change up the routine a bit with a visit to the gym, an outing to a bar, a video game, or going out to see a movie in theaters.
You walk around, the sun is shining, the breeze is kissing your face, and yet…you feel like something is missing.
You look around and you see happy guys walking side by side with girls in summer dresses. Maybe they are having a summer fling. Maybe they’re in a relationship. Maybe they’re married. Regardless of what the case may be, you see what they have that you don’t: a woman.
And no matter how much you may have going on in your life – how good you are at your job, how many friends you have, how nice your apartment is – life just isn’t complete without a woman in your life. Every man comes to this realization at one point or another.
Regardless of whether it’s a one-night stand, a repeat hookup, or a bona fide relationship, a man can’t call himself happy – can’t call himself a true man – without the ability to bring women into his life.
So how do you bring women into your life? What do you do when you’re looking for a woman to break you out of your routine?
This question is exactly what I’m going to answer today. So pause that episode of Game of Thrones and pay attention.
Hi everyone. Good to be back! How is everyone doing? I am sorry for having been inactive. I was busy with school. But now it is all over and I will be able to pump out a few articles for you!
Previously we discussed what it meant to have standards. We covered different types of standards and reflected on different aspects of it. Today we will talk more about standards, but this time more about its practical aspects – namely, how you can use “standards” in qualification.
First of all, I am aware that qualification has been covered multiple times here at Girls Chase, but in my belief, repetition is good, especially when it is about important topics.
Also, I probably have a different view on qualification than other posters here, which in the end will just build up to your technique arsenal of mass seduction. New readers will of course benefit from this post as well.
Also keep in mind that this post on qualification, like the previous one on standards, is another of the crucial elements of sexual prizing. This post, in fact, covers such an important element of sexual prizing (a concept I introduced a month ago), that if you want to be able to truly understand my upcoming posts on that topic, this one is a must read.
Imagine
this scenario, if you will.
A man goes out with a woman, and everything feels like it is going great. She’s totally into him, smiles at everything he says, and follows his lead. Then, at some point during the interaction, she does something that completely catches him off guard.
Maybe she refuses a request in an attempt to test him.
Maybe she decides that going home with him wouldn’t be a good idea, and she protests at such an idea.
Maybe she puts up last minute resistance and leaves him wondering what in the world he needs to do to get past it.
All of the previous scenarios include a defining moment, because these men are unsure of how to proceed with unforeseen challenges.
These defining moments are the points in conversation where most men lose women. They are lost at what to do in such a scenario, and effectively scrape their minds to find a strategy to blow past that which is in the way of their goals.
… And when each strategy just doesn’t work out, what do they do? They lose power, and begin to panic. The loss of power causes them to become moody, belligerent, and bitter, because they just aren’t getting what they want with women.
Overreactions like this happen all the time. They are one of the primary destroyers of an interaction which otherwise may have been going along quite well, but were utterly destroyed when the leader (that’s you) ran into a roadblock. The smooth, seductive mask is lifted, and you are left angry at finding yourself unable to get to where you wanted to get to.
I happened
upon an article entitled “An
Open Letter To My Future Wife: How I Plan To Make You Happy Every Day
Of Your Life” earlier today, written without a doubt very sincerely
to the author’s imagined future wife – here’s a short excerpt:
“I promise to do my best to make you beam daily, so count on many surprises. Your smile will be my priority. I get weak knees when anybody smiles, so just imagine the effort I will make to be the source of yours.
I promise I will always look at you with the same adoration as I did the moment I realized I loved you.
I promise to try to ignite the same sparkle in your eyes I see when you’re surprised, inspired, motivated or when you are about to lean in to kiss me.
I promise to hold your hand when we’re 80 years old with the same liveliness that I did when I crossed that line to hold yours for the first time. I vow never to let the excitement of dating me die down; I will surprise you with the location, the reason or the activity itself.
I promise to keep you guessing where we’re going next. I promise to do my best always to interest you. I will keep reinventing myself, gaining new hobbies, new knowledge and new interests to keep you — and myself — entertained.”
... and it goes on like this for quite a bit.
At the bottom of the article are plenty of Facebook comments from girls praising (sort of) the article, of course, saying things like:
There’s even a female commenter saying (jokingly) “Marry me!”
But of course, no one’s actually lining up to marry this guy... despite all he’s promised.
