Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How Much Should You Do for a Girlfriend? The Investment Scales

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

do for a girlfriend
What’s the right amount to do for a girl you date? How do you know if you invest too much or too little? Two measures: boredom and neglect.

Commenting on my article “Early Boyfriend Distinction – She Helps You vs. You Help Her”, a reader asks (emphasis added):

“Thanks for another insight article especially about how “dynamics” really work and that as long as you can handle situations in the right dynamics, you can break the rules or at least not follow them strictly. Which brings back to a question I have in terms of giving help to a girl. So just a little background, I’m currently dating an au pair, who is considered a foreigner in this country. So I have helped her with a lot of things such as improving her English, help her with application for status extension/change, plus a number of non-fun items, even though after those items we have fun and sleep together as much as I want. So more of an early boyfriend status. So my question is am i doing too much to help her, have you done an article in terms of when offering help to your girlfriend, what is the right amount or how to gauge when to help and when not to help and just let her do it on her own?”

Getting the right balance on how much to do for a girlfriend is an issue for more intermediate daters on up. When many men start out, they pay no attention to a girl’s investment in them, and instead throw as much investment as they can at her to try to woo her. Once they realize this hurts them with her instead of helps, they begin to scale it back. Except, here, they often go too far. How do you get the balance of your investment right, so you do not make her feel either over- or undervalued?

First off, if you’re unfamiliar with the concepts of investment/compliance, or you need a refresher, be sure you’ve read these articles:

Also read the article linked to at the start of this installment. It discusses the crucial questions of “who’s doing what for whom” in terms of the pre-sex courtship.

Having read those, though, you’re likely still left with one tangled up question: how do I know when I’ve invested too much or too little in her?

There’s not an easy answer to this question, but I’ll do my best to prune some of the vines off it for you here and give you a formula you can work with.

13 Things Inexperienced Girls Do that Men Mistake for Sluttiness

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

inexperienced girls
No one’s dating instincts are perfect. Sometimes you’ll think a girl is slutty when the truth is inexperience makes her act too direct.

You don’t realize it until you’re quite experienced with girls, but your instincts – especially as a beginner – don’t always give you the most reliable information.

You see this with a lot of inexperienced men, who end up dating very experienced women, convinced of these girls inexperience and chastity (check out my article on how to gauge a girl’s partner count if you want a better handle on this). Yet the opposite happens too: inexperienced men often write off inexperienced women because they misread these girls’ inexperience as confident experience. Even men who are pretty good with girls often misread these signals.

Today, I’m going to show you 13 things inexperienced women do that cause men to incorrectly assume they are more experienced with men than they are.

There’s a theme running through these 13 things, you might notice. That theme is this: more experienced girls create mystery, build anticipation, and embody a feminine air. Less experienced girls are usually blunt, raw, and over-direct.

Put another way, the more experienced a girl becomes with men, the better able she is to trigger within men the emotions men most enjoy from women. The less experienced she is, the worse she is at this.

Note that none of these are absolutes. There are experienced women who do these things too. However, if you see a girl do two or three or four of these things, you can feel be confident she’s likely inexperienced with men.

That in mind, let’s peel back these 13 things and change how you look at the women you meet.

Boobs vs. Butts: Male Tastes Differ (& Your 10 Isn’t Everybody’s)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

boobs vs. butts
You shouldn’t treat her like a ‘10’… Because even the most beautiful girl is only a ‘10’ to a certain chunk of the male population.

I came across a fascinating 1968 study on male preferences in female body part sizes this weekend. The study asked men to rate various female silhouettes, like these:

Then, at a separate date, in what the male subjects thought was a separate study, the researchers had the same men answer a number of questions about themselves.

They then compared the men’s body type preferences to personality attributes and other dimensions to look for correlations. And they discovered (as you might imagine) that different types of men like different types of women.

The body type ratings men gave were of figures that looked like this:

boobs vs. butts

And the personality dimensions and background details the men provided information on covered the gamut, from social interaction styles to what kind of magazines they read.

We’ll talk about the findings of this study and a few other ones, if you’re curious to know what your taste in women says about you. But more than that, the point of this post is going to be to give you one additional tool to help take the girls you really like off any pedestals you have them on... By driving home the point that while you might think she’s a complete 10/10, there are plenty of other men who don’t, and odds are she doesn’t even view herself that way.

Increase Your Lays, Pt. I: Three Seduction Strategies

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

seduction strategies
How can you get laid more and carve more notches on your bedpost? We kick off the series with a look at three (3) seduction strategies.

Hello there. I hope you are all doing great. I plan on making this a two-part post discussing strategies to increase your amount of lays.

Many of us enjoy meeting women in different scenarios – one day you might meet girls in bookstores; on Friday you enjoy heading to a bar; and maybe on Saturday you go to a club.

Maybe you only meet women in clubs, or maybe only during the daytime – that is cool, too; however, note that even the venue that you are familiar with can change from time to time.

For instance, your favorite nightlife venue that is usually energetic enough but not too chaotic can, on one night, become very crowded and messy – like around Halloween. This basically totally changes the scenario. Sometimes you can select venues (being daytime venues or nighttime venues); however, you will never fully be in control of the potential changes. This is why calibration and experience is so key. This series is meant to help you through the process of calibrating to your venues.

The overall idea is to cover different strategies for different scenarios in order to increase the amount of girls in your life. The 3 concepts for making good strategies are:

  • Volume
  • Screening
  • Tight game

We will discuss all 3 – and note that combinations are doable and can oftentimes give amazing success – such as combining screening with tight game, or screening with volume (the sober “drunk n’ horny game”). I am not saying that these are 3 distinct strategies – quite the opposite. You should always have all 3 in mind – and preferably you should approach a few women and always have your game tight. You might also screen out bad leads. What I am trying to say is that there will be scenarios in which you will have to put more focus on one of the concepts.

Along the way, we will discuss the pros and cons of each strategy. And the next post will discuss these concepts in light of different environments, and examine which concepts should get more emphasis as far as making the best strategy for meeting women.

Let us get straight into the first major concept: volume.

Tactics Tuesdays: Treat Her Hot and Horny

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

hot and horny
Some girls you do well with, some girls not so well. What’s the difference? One of the big ones: do you treat her hot and horny, or not.

This post is probably best suited to men who are intermediate and up with girls. If you’re just starting out, it’s still worth reading to know what mindset to aim for, but you may not be able to implement it just yet if you don’t have at least one type of girl you do well with consistently.

Commenting on my article “When She Picks You, It’s Vital She Feels It’s Her Choice”, a reader named Asian Guy asks:

“Hi Chase!

I sort of have a question I have been hoping to find the answer to for a while but am not sure really where to look. I’ve bought your spellbinding book and even looked at a how to date korean women book done by one of your friends. However, to this day I am still not sure how to go after korean women who are raised in a conservative society. As an example, recently I met a korean girl and after going on a few dates with her, she wouldn’t even try to really hug in public. I was told by my korean guy friends that korean girls tend not to do anything touchy feely public. After going out on 4 dates with her, I tried to go to her place (my place not logistically possible). She hemmed and hawed and said something like how she just moved in and her place isn’t ready to have people over.

A lot of the techniques here are literal gold when it comes to american women or americanized asian women, but for asian women from asia, I am still having problems. For example, a lot of times when I propose to go home with a conservative asian girl on the the first or second date, they actually seem to get offended or completely creeped out. This never happens to me with americanized asian girls, who “get” the whole thing. I’ve never been able to date the more conservative ones because they tend to be extremely cautious and the techniques that would normally work for other girls fail here. It seems that they are into a boyfriend candidate all the time. I have tried a lot to disqualify, but these girls seem hard-wired to want a boyfriend, and the moment I disqualify, they are gone.

I was curious if you had any ideas or experiences what to do here. It seems with most conservative asian girls it takes up to 6-9 dates to really go anywhere. I have recognized that there exist a lot of conservative asian girls who do sleep with men fast, but it seems those are the more rebellious type, which you can usually tell. For the ones that tend to stay home, not drink, go to the library, etc, do you have any ideas how or if you would tailor everything?

Thanks Chase!!”

First off, although this comment is about girls from Asia (and Korea in particular), it’s a microcosm of a phenomenon men face across their courtships with all girls.

That’s because just like there are men who think Asian girls from Asia are too conservative and too hard to get, there are men who think they’re ridiculously easy. Just like there are men who specialize in deflowering girls who’ve resisted sex with other men for years. And like there are men who think X type of girl is easy, even though other men think X type of girl is impossible.

So, I’m going to answer Asian Guy’s question. But in so doing, I’m also going to give you a tweak to how you approach the girls you approach that, if you implement it, will supercharge your results with them.

3 Common Roadblocks to Seduction Mastery

Denton Fisher's picture

By: Denton Fisher

roadblocks to seduction
As you seek to master the art of seduction, you’ll discover 3 key roadblocks: the first 1000 approaches, wrong practice, and too much faking.

Plateaus are the bane of any skill we seek mastery in, and they are most prominent in learned success with women. These obstructions in the pick-up community are not just speed bumps but full-on roadblocks preventing people from reaching the heights they dream of.

This article is aimed at any guy who wants to get seriously good at meeting girls via cold approach. What are the hurdles? What must you overcome to get there?

In my experience, there are three (3) major roadblocks. I call them:

  1. 1000 approaches,
  2. Deliberate practice, and
  3. Not faking but being.

How can you recognize and defeat each one as efficiently as possible?

Deep Down, Do Women Long for True Love Most of All?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women true love
Love seems like the ultimate female obsession. But do girls actually desire love as much as it seems? The answer is “It depends.”

In my article on dating mistakes, a reader asks about women and love:

“What about girls & wanting to fall in love? I think most women deep down want “true love”, aka to find a sexy, awesome guy who they fall in love w/ (w/ the great sex, & intrigue, mystery & all that).

Love being a strong connection, caring for & bonding, etc. Also society paints it as wife-husband but whatever the label, the concept’s the same: to fall in love w/ an awesome guy & for it to last is what most women want at the core – What do you think of that theory? ”

If you watch a lot of cinema, you’re likely quick to answer, “Of course!”

Love – it makes the world go ‘round. All you need is love. And all the other slogans like that.

And love is a wonderful thing. It’s a great emotion. It’s an important one, too.

But is it, in the innermost hearts of womankind, truly what the fairer sex seeks?

As you likely know by now, if you’re hoping for the Hollywood party line, this isn’t the site for that. However, before I give you a straight answer, I’d like to explore a little of the science on love with you.

And then we’ll talk about how important it really is to women.

Tactics Tuesdays: “That’s Fake” and Practice Mentality

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

practice mentality
When you start to change your appearance or behavior, people can call you fake. Or you might even feel fake. Yet with Practice Mentality, you can avoid all this.

In my August article on seven major dating mistakes, a reader asks about people who view (or attack) self-improvement efforts or general behavior as ‘being fake’ or ‘not being real’:

“This is regarding barriers to improving fundamentals and improving your life in general:

Did you notice how people label any potential improvement as fake? If they improve, they think, people won’t like them for who they are and that’s bad. For people who have had advantages for a long time it seems like a natural part of them.

For example:

– Someone who is fat thinks that if he loses weight and women start liking him more, then they don’t like him for who he really is. They are just a bunch of superficial cunts. But, if you’ve been thin for a long time, it seems like a part of you.

– If you dress poorly, improving your fashion will seem as fake. Who cares how you dress? People should like you for who you are. But, those who dress well will tell you it’s just a part of them – part of who they are.

– Being famous or wealthy and getting great results with women also seems fake to many people (99.999% of people don’t have access to fame or great wealth). So, you’ll hear terms like ‘fame-digger’ or ‘gold-digger’ used to describe those superficial women who like rock stars, football players or bankers/CEOs.

– The same goes for learning ‘game’. If you’re learning it, then you’re just a fake manipulator.

etc.

What do you think about this phenomenon? Is it even real or am I delusional?”

Well, first off, this is absolutely a genuine phenomenon, and it’s something every man who sits down to improve himself in one dimension or another encounters.

You start to change something about yourself, and somebody calls you fake. Or you see others change their reactions toward you as you change superficial details about yourself, and you decide they are fake. Or maybe you even look at your outward displays, deem them nothing like whom you are on the inside, and label yourself a fake.

I’m going to talk briefly about why people view people engaged in self-improvement as fake, and then I’m going to give you a useful mindset I’ve long used to not have to worry about this.

I call it the ‘Practice Mentality’. But we’ll get to that.

How to Tailor Your Image - Based on Your Lifestyle

Darius Bright's picture

By: Darius Bright

how to tailor your image
What if you’re in a university or a beach town where everyone dresses casual. How do you tailor your image to there? Via the 5 wardrobe spectrums – that’s how.

After my most recent article entitled “How Should I Dress? Men’s Guide to Sexy Going-Out Attire” was posted, I found a question in my inbox from a reader named Tom:

“Thank you for all your articles, I've learnt so much about style from you and it’s truly improved my game! I do have a question: I currently live and study in a university town in New Zealand, and the standard style for dress here (as in, for the guys that get laid) is either street wear like long sleeve shirts with basketball kind of shorts or gym track pants and Nike running/gym shoes, or a kind of 'bum' style, with baggy hooded jumpers or old rugby jerseys and often shorts. Both styles tend to incorporate caps on the head too. Quite opposite to your own style!

My question is, how much do you want to take in the local style, especially if it’s working for other guys, and how much do you want to stand out? I do want to stand out somewhat, and I'm getting the hang of trying to incorporate what you teach and what the people here do, but I find when I mix them, I often end up with a pretty 'normal' look. I imagine you travel quite a lot? If so, it would be rad to see an article on adapting your personal style to different locales!”

And what a great question it is! Except, it’s the wrong question….

You see, without knowing it, chances are you’re running into the same issue yourself.

No, you probably don’t care how to dress sexy in a university town in New Zealand. Instead, you might be wondering “How can I apply those tips when I’m dressing for work?” or “How do I dress for best results in my favorite bar or club?” or “How should I dress for day game if I live in Canada... and it’s cold?” etc.

All of the above questions point to the same core dilemma: How do I tailor my outfit to look sexy in a particular situation – without looking like I’m sticking out?

Well, if all goes according to plan, you’ll have your answer by the end of this article.

Move Fast, but Don’t Rush Her

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

don't rush her
It’s important to move fast with women. Yet, you can absolutely overshoot – and get into the habit of rushing with girls instead.

In my article on skipping steps with girls who are thirsty for you, an anonymous commenter asked the following question:

“Good read. How do you reconcile your comment that "time is irrelevant to seduction" with Chase's mantra that one must move quickly? Am I misunderstanding the context?”

Perfect question. I struggled with this one for a long time. Before finding GirlsChase, I definitely understood that women love sex, and that long courtships are signs that you want something serious. Hell, I had once slept with a girl thirty seconds after meeting her. I always knew fast is good.

But I still made certain exceptions – girls who were more conservative, girls who were hotter than my usual catch, etc.

Then, when I found GirlsChase, I kept running into Chase’s motto of “move fast.” In almost every article, it was there. It infected my brain and eventually opened my eyes to how many girls I’d lost because I didn’t move fast enough.

I changed that – quickly. And my lay count skyrocketed. Women loved how aggressive I’d become.

Yet I also found that the number of girls I took out on dates was still much higher than the girls I bedded (my date-to-lay ratio, if you want to be a nerd). I would make out with them, exchange oral favors, but intercourse was not as frequent as I’d hoped.

Why were these girls not letting me go all the way?

Because I was rushing.

You see, moving fast and rushing are two different things.