Recovering from a Failed Cold Read | Girls Chase

Recovering from a Failed Cold Read

Cold reading is an amazingly powerful technique to help you build a quick and strong connection with a girl but sometimes it goes drastically wrong... and instead of responding with coos of amazement, she throws your reading back at you with flat rejection.

failed cold read

All seems lost, but you can salvage the wreck and even turn a rejection into something positive that brings the two of you closer together - and in today's article, I'm going to show you how to do just that.

Richard WendellAbout the Author: Richard Wendell

Richard is a member of the Girls Chase Forums and an occasional contributor to Girls Chase. He practices direct day game with a strong sexual element, and makes liberal use of cold reads and innuendo. He is a psychology major at university.

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MCP's picture

I have a concern with my current girlfriend and her experiences in the past compared to her experiences with me. It took me 4 months from the outset of meeting this girl to sleep with her. She states that I was the only guy she was doing anything intimate with the whole time, and I believe it. I'm way above average in my abilities with women and am very confident that I can go out on any given night and find a girl who will at least be in bed fooling around with me later that night.

Here's my dilemma.

I was very certain that because this girl took so long to lay, given my abilities and given that she had not had sex for over a year at the time we met, that this girl was very high quality and hard to get to.

BUT... I learned only after getting emotionally involved that she only had one boyfriend (who she started dating by having a ONS) and the rest were just casual sex partners (she's been with 4 other guys total) and, not only that, but one was a complete ONS who she chased down pretty hard and who she never saw again because he blew her off. After learning this it basically makes me feel like a chump for feeling the way I do about this girl and, in a slight sense, that I've been played.

My question and concern is it even worth staying in a relationship with a girl who put me off for such a long time when compared with her past guys? It's very confusing as I am legitimately very good with women, however, pretty much everything you teach points to this girl not being so in to me.

I would greatly appreciate some expert GirlsChase advice on this!


Richard's picture

Hey MCP,

Sounds like classic symptoms of being slotted into the boyfriend category.

She told you she was only being intimate with you, and given that she's accustomed to FWB or casual sex relationships, you actually stood out above that crowd and were viewed as higher quality than them, so she valued you on a more serious level.

Because of that, she didn't want to lose that because of quick sex.

When a woman wants a man as a boyfriend she withholds sex from him, and that's why Chase and GC recommend quick lays because it prevents you from being slotted into that category and thus not being able to have quick sex.

But, now that you have laid her, if she satisfies your other needs as a girlfriend then you should keep her because after you've laid her once, you can bed her again and again, so at this point, it would be your choice to make.


MCP's picture

Thanks for the feedback Richard, I figured that's what was going on here. But I guess my real concern is can she ever REALLY see me as the sexiest man she's ever been with? I know chase said somewhere that if she has slept with other guys quicker than it will always be in the back of her head somewhat. If its true that she will see her priors as sexier men, regardless of reality, to me that's a complete deal breaker and a cause of big problems down the road. I think a lot of guys with girlfriends have these same concerns... What do you think?


Richard's picture


For me, anyway, its up to speculation. If a girl has slept with other guys quicker but finds her "one," she may not sleep with him as fast but will hold him in a higher regard than the other guys.

So, compare these two things: Sexiness of man she's chosen to let bed her quickly vs. Sexiness of a man she's chosen to be intimate with?

Which seems to outweigh the other?

In my opinion, its the man she's chosen to be intimate with after only having had casual sex relationships. Committing to a person for the first time is pretty tough if you're already experienced sexually, so Id say she holds you in a higher regard than those casual sex partners.


JohnO974's picture

Hey Richard,

So I had this girl that i met in class at my university and he started talking and getting to know each other as the semester began and I was getting good vibes and playing my cards right. We would flirt in class, and out of class we would talk about the new books we were both reading ( we shared a love of reading and writing) and she would constantly send little probing texts and like EVERY single thing i posted on social networking. but every time I tried to make plans with her something would happen or come up.

finally I used some advice from the how to text a girl post and got her to commit and follow through and we went out and i kept it low-key and simple and it was perfect because then it became a good conversation and i got to deep-dive on her; i thought it was going great...until she mentioned this guy 12 years older than her that she was 'kinda seeing or wanted to" so i took that as okay let me not even waste anymore of my time. She made me feel like she actually has no interest in me, so I moved on, but now she randomly texts me even more, she basically is stalking my social networking sites, and the flirting in class has picked up. I am honestly confused, because she is rather flaky, she will text me and when i do text back she wont reply or forgets to, and she brought up the other guy, but she is still probing me. I could really use some advice or an explanation of what the hell she is doing.

Do I need to drop this class and cut off all communication or have i been reading this entire situation wrong?


Richard's picture

Hey John,

A little tough to tell because I don't know all the details, but here's my outlook.

The two of you found mutual attraction at first, but I'll assume you didn't make a move fast enough, or didn't bring up sex or dates quick, and instead kept the texting platonic (i.e. probing texts on either side, talking about new books), nothing sexual to get her mind going.

That, or from what you said she didn't respond to any sexual frames or chase frames you threw at her, and instead she kept it platonic not allowing you to move forward with her.

Now, there's a guy that she's into more than she's into you so she'll do enough to keep you around but is probably spending most of her time and attention on the other guy.

So yes, if I were you, I'd throw the ball in her court, and let her decide to stop playing games and get serious.

"You keep trying to play games with me, but I don't want to ;) The ball's in your court now, hit me up when you decide you want to get serious."

If things don't go well, or if she doesn't get serious, leave her alone, or you can talk to other girls in class and probably make her jealous.


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