A few conversations I've had lately have revolved around me discussing with guys how simple things are with women. You just talk to them, and then... boom! They chase after you. You don't even have to do any work; girls take care of all that themselves.
Because that's how it's been for me lately. But I keep getting pulled back down to reality; guys confess it doesn't work that way for them. And then I stop and think, and for a long time it didn't work that way for me, either.
What changed it for me? Well, one of the biggest factors was figuring out what to say to girls. All you've got to do is get that figured out, and you're set.
But that's tough, you say. Why? Well, because you're not a girl. And if you're like a lot of guys out there, you have, starting out, no idea what it is women want to hear, what they like to hear, or what they need to hear, whatsoever.
Here's how it goes for most guys: they start out talking to women too literally, and the women get bored out of their skulls and leave. So then a guy tries a few witty pick up lines, or he tries busting on girls to be a challenge, only to have them start snapping at him and shutting down. Eventually he comes full circle again and decides to try to be a lot nicer than he was, only to find that, once again, the challenge has disappeared and the interest women showed at least some of the time when he was being a jerk has disappeared.
That's the point a guy realizes that, despite all the time he might've spent trying to get better with women, he still has no real idea about what to say to girls.
Argh.
Fortunately, all's not lost, and you can figure it out. In fact, that's why I made this post -- it's something of a guide on the wild, woolly world of talking to girls. In other words, herein lies the machete you'll need to hack a path through the conversational jungle and emerge on the other side with that beautiful, smiling girl you've had your eye on.
Comments
Great post here man this was
Great post here man this was exactly what I needed to hear after these past few days. I really connected with the "be going somewhere" part. I noticed that a lot of convo's don't really have a point, and the ones that do always lead to great interactions.
I also enjoyed reading the part on being direct something I'm learning that I have to start doing. Becuase your right it really does get the point across very well.
Great article will definitely be one I'm looking at a lot!
Re: Great post here man this was
Hey J, glad to hear it was what the doctor ordered, man. Yeah, a lot of conversations don't have a point... it's like people are just trying to fill the dead space with words. Way too much bumbling in the dark in most people's talk.
Muy excellente if you start using direct man -- it's some strong stuff when you do!
Chase
Great Pointers
wow i gotta say thanks for putting this up, i had tried this with someone and was I glad to not feel like a complete idiot, thanks a ton.
Lookwhaticando
Chase, i've figured out your comment thingy. Good post man!!! The example thing was spot on, helped me understand- a lot of the time i do wonder what the hell somebody wants while they're talking to me, it's a bad feeling.
so im practicing now. my intent for the comment was to show some love for a post that made a lot of sense. no homo!
Re: Lookwhaticando
Jefe, thanks bro, very good to hear the post helps! Were you getting tangled up in the spam filters? Been meaning to change those... in my spam filters' efforts to keep out those intent on sharing the joys of male enhancement with my readers, some unfortunate souls seem to be getting caught in the crossfire.
Never a good feeling when you can't figure out why someone's talking to you, eh? And you certainly never want to be "that guy"...! Here's hoping the practicing goes well and you start seeing some solid improvements.
Cheers man,
Chase
Hi Chase, I've been scouring
Hi Chase, I've been scouring your website for the past few days and I've got to say its been a tremendous help! I haven't had substantial results yet but its helped me to become more positive and put a lot of things in perspective for me! And so, I'm sure you could help me answer this question that's been bugging me for quite some time...how should you deal or react when a girl asks for your help?
I don't mean to sound snooty but I'm kinda smart so girls often ask for my help with their homework or something like that, so if you could make up an example dealing with that, it'd be great! Anyways from reading some of your stuff, I gather that you can't be too overeager but you also can't be too negative about it either. I usually end up going very neutral and thats just boring. I feel like helping a girl could potentially leave a very positive impression but I not really sure if its the right kind of impression for sparking romance and I'm also not sure of the little nuances that I should go about it to get the right kind of results so I hope you can set me straight on this topic!
Thanks! :)
Read this.
http://www.girlschase.com/content/can-i-help-you
http://www.girlschase.com/content/sad-tale-shopping-guy
Thankyou Migz!
Thankyou Migz!
The Non-Responses?
Chase, you have never explain how do a guy needs to handle a non-response. They are hard as hell they get you nowhere and many guys dont know how to handle them. I'll say...
I came upon your website
I came upon your website while searching for an answer to why some great successful good-looking popular guys can be absolutely unable to get girls, to the point where they don't even try. I know quite a few and it just baffles me. Men have no confidence or masculinity anymore and they're terrified of women.
As a woman, I think through most of your articles you come across as an asshole. Why? Because you're playing games and manipulating and I can't exactly figure out what your goal is. One night stands? Maybe, but doesn't quite seem right. Getting a girlfriend? Yeah, maybe, but also doesn't quite seem like your goal. That makes you creepy, as you alluded to in this article (not knowing a guy's goal = creepy).
However, regardless of how creepy your other articles are, this one is SPOT ON for any guy pursuing any girl for any reason. Well-meaning guys ruin their chances, thinking they're being polite, because their pick up conversation is so bland. The girl feels like she's being interrogated. That's never a good thing. It's also true that the a girl never really knows his intentions, but that matters a lot less when she's enjoying the conversation.
Your snack anecdote is cute, but unless you're suggesting that guys memorize multiple witty conversations with punchlines, this approach might not work. It might be great or guys might come up with ridiculous unappealing conversations and just come off as a weirdo. The main thing to remember is that girls hate being interrogated by a stranger. If you want to talk to a girl you don't know, try to have an actual conversation with her that she can join in on.
We'll see if one day Chase
We'll see if one day Chase meets you, and apply everything he knew about girls to you! Try yo resist that!
Thank You
Thank you, this is the one site that gave examples instead of just interpretations and recommendations. So many other sites tell you what's going on but a simple example is something I can walk away with. I appreciate your insight, since I'm trying to find "The One" (not the movie, although Carla Gugina was pretty hot in her prime). Sorry for the tangent. I will keep practicing this on women that peak my interest, hopefully I will have an awesome testimony down the road.
THANKS AGAIN!!
Support
God bless you for the article. I've been on a 6 month absence from the dating scene because I couldn't interact with any females at clubs and meetings. I had given up hope, and wondered if there was that person who can put me on the straight path of social prosperity lol. And that's you! Thank you again... Truly grateful
Interesting
Interesting to note that the direct approach of "playing your hand" may shock some women as being too direct and scare them away. I've always used the direct approach, and it has never always worked!
Never always...but quite
Never always...but quite often.
Chase thank you for this, you
Chase thank you for this, you just saved my ass for tomorrows date. I notice I do stay on those boring topics in person. I met a really cute girl named Candice on pof last week using the profile building article you wrote as well. Im planning on making her my girlfriend. Keep it up and thanks for making me a better man.
such a big help!
Thanks due to this webite I have managed to maintain a good convosation with girls and not feel like I am making them uncomfortable and I got a girlfriend and everyone remember everything sounds good with the right tone of voice
Thanks this has helped me
Thank man this is just what I need it to read no one has been able to tell me this has brought md out of my shy is zone so thank ones aging
Awesome
Your blog is awesome it's do you having anything about online dating I don't go to bars that often .
Over coming Shyness
Great advice man really made me think more about my interactions with women
i think i have learnt my lessons
Wow i realy enjoyed reading everybit of the post i have learnt something out of it i ll give ir a try then
Greatest advice I've read
Before reading this I was one of those guys who had not a clue of how to talk to women. After reading this I feel much more confident with talking to the women in my life. I notice a major difference in my conversations in that they feel more natural. After speaking with the new girl in my life she seemed to enjoy what I had to say. Your advice has been a love saver and is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
i dont know if im boring or the gal
Last week I was in a conversation with a gal that I was interested on. I started to great the gal as usually everyday but I don't start conversations with her because I'm not sure if bore her or not because she seemed a quiet person. So I decided to start a conversation with her after I greated her and everything I asked her how are her holidays going so far... Then guess wat she said GOOD then she kept quiet so all questions or topics I start with her the answers I get are GOOD ,FINE ,YEAH and NO so I need help
always get nervous when with girls
when im with pretty girls i always get nervous i tried to control my self but i could n't
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