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Tactics Tuesdays

Tactics Tuesdays: Destroy Your Own Learned Helplessness

Chase Amante's picture

learned helplessness
Our society trains men to be helpless, for several of its own reasons. But it’s important you know helplessness is learned... not inborn.

Learned helplessness is the behavior shift that occurs when an animal or individual decides its situation is impossible to change. At this point, the individual decides he is helpless to affect the outcome, and simply gives up trying.

Some of the most tragic stories of crushed spirits come when you discuss learned helplessness. Animals who’ve been caged so long they won’t try to leave even if you leave their cage doors open. Prisoners who aren’t able to operate outside the penal system, so commit crimes to go back to the familiar comfort of the prison yard. And men who’ve been unsuccessful with women so long they don’t even try to meet them.

In a recent popular thread on our Beginners’ Forum, a forum member starts off by asking why women like dominant men and men who take the lead. But it quickly becomes clear his real issue is not a philosophical question of why women prefer dominant men, but an exploration of his desire for women, yet lack of motivation to take steps to meet, date, and sleep with them.

This article will not be about why girls desire dominance and leadership, per se. If you’d like more on those topics, see these articles:

Rather, this article will be about the phenomenon of learned helplessness in the modern male – where it comes from, who’s responsible for it, and what you can do to shake it off.

Tactics Tuesdays: Do You Eject from Dates or Pickups Too Soon?

Chase Amante's picture

eject too soon
You’ve met a girl, it’s going fine, and then you just... Eject, too soon. You leave too early. You beat yourself up about it later – but what could you have done then?

Want a simple way to get more success out of your dates, courtships, pickups, etc.?

Here it is: don’t eject so fast.

Early ejection plagues beginners in seduction. And the wound is a self-inflicted one.

This sound at all familiar?:

You got up the nerve to approach a girl. She’s cute. Real cute. Your heart rate is going 200 beats per minute. And it’s going okay. She smiled when you walked up, she said “hello”, and now she’s responding to your questions and asking you some back. You make a light joke and she laughs. Yet the pressure just builds and builds. Finally, you excuse yourself: “All right, well, it was nice to meet you!” And then you leave.

You didn’t ask her out; you didn’t take her phone number. Things were going okay, but then you bailed. You had to hit the eject button.

Why does this happen? Well, fear, mostly.

What can you do about it? Well, we’re going to talk about that.

Tactics Tuesdays: How and When to Change Venues on a Date or Pickup

Chase Amante's picture

change venues
If you need to move things along on a date or in a pickup but it’s too soon to take her home, often the next best option is to change venues.

At times you’ll have things going well with a girl, but not well enough yet you’re ready to take her home. Even still, you reach one of those moments in the courtship where, like it or not, you’ve got to move her.

Moving her around in the same venue won’t work at this point. It works terrific early on, but you’re too far along for it now and it’ll feel like you’re treading water... or even going backwards.

You need movement, but you can’t stay there. And you can’t take her home. So what can you do?

You change venues. One venue to another venue.

The venue change is a handy tool in both dates and pickups. It’s a vital element of instant dates, structured dates, and often many guys’ one-night stand processes. But it’s also a tactic rife with potential to drop the ball.

Take her to the wrong place, and you kill the vibe.

Fail to handle the transition well, and you kill the vibe.

Misread her desires and change venues when she really wanted you to just take her home, and you risk missing the escalation window, and kill the vibe.

So let’s arm you with a few tools to let you read her right, take her to the right spot, and make your venue change as likely to lead to a pull home at the end of your date or pickup as anything else.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Pick Up the Alpha Female

Chase Amante's picture

alpha female
The alpha female is the dominant girl in her group, and to get her, you’ll have to be a little different than you will be to pick up her follower peers.

It’s been nearly three months since I wrote the first installment in this series, “Girls in Groups: How to Tell Who’s a Leader or a Follower.” I finally just sat down to write Part II: how to pick up the leader.

If you didn’t read the first part of this series, click back and give it a read. If you can’t tell the difference between leaders and followers, this article won’t do much good. We’ll talk about identifying some of the signs of leadership vs. followerdom here too, but that first article’s the real roadmap on this.

Once you’ve read that, let’s talk alpha females. First off, why would you want to pick up the leader of the group? Aren’t those usually the toughest, meanest chicks? And aren’t they often the fat or ugly ones?

Well, not necessarily on that last. And as to the rest, it’s all part of the fun.

Tactics Tuesdays: Meeting Girls on the Bus

Philip Etemesi's picture

Note from Chase: this is our first post from Philip Etemesi, joining us from Africa for a four-article trial run. Philip’s been a follower of and practitioner of Girls Chase material for some time, with his own twists. Please let us know in the comments section of Philip’s next few articles if you enjoy his writing and would like to see more from him in the future. His first article is about meeting girls on buses. Here’s Philip.


I am a new writer at Girls Chase and I am more than thrilled to be part of a site that has influenced my game so much. For a start, I’ve been tasked with reviving a blog post series called Tactics Tuesday. Through it, I shall focus on seduction techniques that you can use in situations that might appear tricky at first.

If you don’t own a car, you probably ride the bus a number of times a week. Even if you do own a car, you’ll find yourself having to take the bus from time to time because you’re either saving on gas or you’re tired of pressing your foot to the pedal. Buses are designed to transport plenty of people, and any location where lots of people converge will consequently have lots of women too. Buses can offer a great atmosphere for seduction.

bus pickup

So in my first piece, I’ll be your tutor on the all-too-tricky issue of how to approach a girl in a bus.

Tactics Tuesdays: Staying Unfazed (When Girls Try to Faze You)

Chase Amante's picture

unfazedOnce you've begun working on your abilities to pick up girls for a little while, you'll soon find you run into a flavor of situation again and again that manifests in a variety of forms and a variety of ways: girls acting not as you expected them and you feeling a little surprised, shaken, and fazed.

This post is all about how you can be unfazed, even in the face of the sometimes-disorienting behavior of new women you'll meet while out and about.

Because as you'll come to realize, getting fazed - and remaining unfazed - isn't necessarily about having already been through every situation already. Instead, what it's actually about is a state of mind and freedom from "hoping" for a specific outcome to come about that you can't control.

In addition to that, there are a number of specific, technical steps you can take that will free you from the risk of ending up fazed at some point, because they avoid taking you down the roads that most often lead to guys getting fazed.

And the funny thing is, the more you're able to remain unfazed, the better able you are to bring about the things that can end up seeming out-of-reach to the men who do get fazed.

But, we're getting a bit abstract. Before I say more, first allow me to explain.

Tactics Tuesdays: Get Approached by Women

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

get approachedYesterday evening I was out walking home, when I noticed a tall, thin girl with long hair and a good body in front of me, walking very carefree in heels, tight jean shorts cut off just below the butt, and a tank top, swinging her hips very sexy as she went. She turned around and looked back in my direction, then started singing in a very sweet voice. She turned around to look back a few more times - I was walking faster than her, so gaining on her and closing the distance. I thought about approaching, but then thought about what it takes to get approached by women.

Here was a girl throwing off tons of the things you'll see when girls show interest:

  • She was blatantly looking back at me (she probably knew I was there before I knew she was; even when you're very socially aware, girls are still often going to be the first to spot you before you spot them)
  • She kept looking back at me, which means there was something that was very interesting to her... or, she was trying to get my attention
  • She started singing, which you might not realize, but women will often start to sing or talk on their phones to attract male attention (you can use this same tactic yourself; we'll see that in a moment)

I didn't particularly feel like approaching - I was tired and worn out from a long day, and I wasn't dressed the best. So instead, I wanted to see if I could get approached.

And that's what I'm going to talk with you about today: how can you get women to approach you instead of you having to always approach them?

Tactics Tuesdays: Making a Point

Chase Amante's picture

making a pointIf you saw The Dark Knight, you probably noticed that Heath Ledger's Joker was an extremely captivating and, despite his villainy, charismatic character. And if you've wondered why that is, as I did for some time after first seeing the film, a big part of it revolves around his success at making a point.

The ability to make a point is an ability you won't hear most people talk about, because it isn't one that most people think much about or often even recognize exists as a distinct skill set. But it's a very powerful ability to have, and it's one that aids you enormously in just about every facet of your life. Particularly, with women.

How exactly do you define "making a point," and how to do you get better at making one? And, on top of that, why is it so useful a skill to have? I'll touch on all that and more in today's Tactics Tuesdays post. Do note that this a more advanced technique, and you'll probably need at least a few years of actively picking up girls (or experience in some other similarly intensive enterprise with high social exposure) to start doing this one.

Tactics Tuesdays: Command Women (and Have Them Listen)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

command womenOne of the hardest things for me to do when I first started out teaching myself how to seduce women was to give orders and command women.

"You mean, I'm supposed to just tell girls to do stuff, and then they're going to, like... do it?" I thought.

Impossible!

And yet, as I started meeting men in 2006 who were already getting the kinds of results with women I wanted, I watched in awe as they commanded women to do things... and the women just did it.

So, I started playing with that myself.

I began with women I knew well. Then women I'd been talking to for a while.

Then I started pushing the limits on my newfound ability to command women.

I started doing it with women I'd just started talking to. With women I'd just met. I even started giving commands to women as the very first thing I said to them.

And it just kept working.

As I went, I learned how to command women better and better, in ways that they instantly followed - voice tone techniques, specific ways of wording a command, and a lot more - that made it easier and easier to pull off seemingly ridiculous things with women I hardly knew. This post is about how to do what I learned to do when it comes to commanding women.

Tactics Tuesdays: What Happens When You Label People (or Let Them Label You)

Chase Amante's picture

label peopleSome years back, as I played around with cold reading, I soon found it often wasn't to my advantage to label people. I'd try; coming up with all kinds of cutesy labels like, "Ah, so you're an adventurer," or, "You're a pretty ambitious person, then." These were seemingly positive labels, but often the women I used them with would reject them. "No, not really," they'd say. It was odd.

I began to realize there was power in labeling. When you label someone, you are, in effect, telling them who or what they are. You're setting yourself up in the position of deciding someone else's identity.

That gives you great power if you can pull it off. It also gives you great responsibility toward the people you label.

But it also opens you up to being knocked down a peg or two, the same way we discussed combating people trying to "tool" you or make you look silly or weak in "Dealing with Disruptive Men;" basically, by politely but firmly shutting this down.

As I began to explore labels more, I gradually got better at using them correctly with other people - and shutting down the efforts of people who sought to use them in a damaging way with me.