Tactics Tuesdays | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays

Tactics Tuesdays: Expect Women to Approach You (or Signal)

expect women to approachGet alert, tune yourself in, and EXPECT the women you see to signal or approach you. Do this, and your fundamentals improve… and women actually do respond a lot more.

A year or so ago, I was talking to Ricardus (remember him?) and he mentioned a day when he went around feeling like the sexiest man in town. He just put it in his head: "I am the most attractive man in this city," and as he went about his day, women's heads turned. Ultimately a random cute girl approached him and struck up a conversation with him.

And when he told me about that, I thought, "Oh yeah, I do that too."

Most of my content focuses on 'outer game', because I think that's just generally easier for guys to focus on, and that the 'inner game' will catch up once the outer game's tight.

But there's a converse to this too: even once your outer game is solid, and your fundamentals are great, you can still slack off a lot when you're not in the right headspace.

Try this: wherever you are, right now:

  • Remember the last pretty girl who gave you a look when you were out somewhere. What did her face look like? Her body? What sort of signs of interest did she give you?

  • Remember the last time you felt like you were on top of the world. Was it just after you got out of the gym? Just grabbed a number from a new girl or rolled in the hay with one? Had some other kind of victory?

  • Remember that when a man walks and acts in a confident way, everyone around him views him as a confident man. Perception is reality, in this case

  • Now, with those three things in mind, remind yourself that you are actually a pretty desirable guy

What happens to your fundamentals when you do this?

Do you straighten your posture up more?

Puff your chest out a bit?

Give your head a more confident tilt?

Open your eyes a bit wider, and become more alert?

Most likely you did these things, plus a host of other small things.

And all those small things add up together to make you stand out in a noticeable way from all the other people around you.

Tactics Tuesdays: Resetting Early Expectations

expectation reset
What happens if you fail to set proper relationship expectations? Well, your partner can have the wrong idea. Here's how to do a reset when things have changed.

On the forum, we have a member who has eased into a relationship with a girl he picked up off of day game. He never set expectations with her, and has insensibly come to treat the relationship as a girlfriend-boyfriend one.

There's just one problem: he wants to keep picking up.

Yet he's conflicted on how to proceed: he doesn't want to cheat on this girl and hurt her, but he also never said he was going to be her boyfriend, either.

So what should he do?

The answer, of course, is expectations.

More specifically, he needs to set some better (and much clearer) ones.

Tactics Tuesdays: What to Do When She Pulls a Switcheroo

switcheroo
If you have an agreement with a woman, then time passes, and she wants to renegotiate for yet more favorable terms… what do you do?

A woman writes on Reddit about her relationship:

I’ll try to keep this short... my fiancé and I have been together for 5 years now. I knew very early in the relationship I had no intention of taking his last name. After the first year or so of dating when we talked about the future I mentioned I wouldn't want to take his last name because I like my last name. I’m second generation Italian and my last name reflects that. It’s an important aspect of who I am and my fiancé at the time understood. I said I probably would be fine if any kids we had had his last name and we dropped the conversation since it was so early in the relationship.

Fast forward four years we are obviously much closer to actually having kids then when we had that initial conversation. I mentioned today that I’m not sure I want the kids to just have his last name. I explained that it didn’t seem fair for them to be half genetically mine, and for me to carry them for nine months but for their names only to reflect him. I listed some options other people do, hyphenating the names, using one last name as a middle name, making a new combined last name, etc. To be clear this would only be for the kids I’m not asking him to change his name.

He said this wasn’t fair because he had already “compromised” by saying I could keep my name and that I told him the kids could have his last name so I can’t change my mind. I told him I’ve changed my mind as we have matured and the prospect of kids has become more real (which in my mind seems more fair then holding me to an off hand comment several years ago) but he is still extremely upset and not talking to me.

Now, Reddit, as you might expect, being Reddit, is in full support of this woman.

I'm not really interested in whether she should take your name, or the kids should take her name, or you hyphenate last names, or whatever. The whole situation is frankly a little ridiculous.

Regardless, my interest in this seemingly petty affair is this: what do you if you've already established something in a relationship, and then your woman decides to unilaterally change it?

The guy here was obviously upset. But look how he reacted: he just went off and sulked.

This is not the way you deal with someone attempting to renegotiate previously settled terms.

When a woman wants to pull a switcheroo on you, you don't beg, plead, or sulk.

Instead, if you can't shut it down, or talk it out calmly, you pull a switcheroo right back.

Tactics Tuesdays: Interest Bait

interest bait
When she's just about to reject you… or she isn't, but the conversation's grown stale… or you just need a boost… break out the 'interest bait', and suck her back in.

Wanna know something you're sure to find useful with girls?

By asking an intriguing question, or making an intriguing yet unfinished statement, you can draw someone in.

You can use this 'interest bait' to prop up slumping conversations. It's also great as a boost to otherwise okay interactions that could benefit from stronger energy.

Questions and statements like these serve as a powerful tactic for transitions from one conversation topic to another, too.

Such a tactic can even let you stop in her tracks a woman who's about to walk away (as I discussed in a few examples in my article last week on women who are closed off or impossible).

This is a simple tactic to use.

It also isn't anything new. I've used plenty of such questions and statements in my examples in articles throughout the years, as have the other authors here. Alek Rolstad makes good use of interest bait in his excellent 9-part series on hooking girls in, which any serious student of seduction owes a read.

Additionally, simply by using interest bait you set yourself up as a sort of authority (which is in itself attractive).

That's because, usually, the only people who talk this way are people in authority positions. So long as it comes across congruent, interest bait is powerful to use.

Yet few men use it. You ought to be among them.

Tactics Tuesdays: Dealing with "Give Me X!"

give me that
Whether she's got an attitude or she's just not good with people, sometimes a girl make demands. How you handle her demands sets your courtship's tone.

If you go out enough, from time to time you'll face girls with attitude.

You'll also face girls who are socially uncalibrated, and girls with low EQs (emotional quotients).

Any of these girls, whether to show attitude or because she just isn't calibrated enough to know otherwise, will sometimes make demands of you.

Demands like "Give me a napkin" in a voice tone that's demanding and not sweet, and in an impolite way without a 'please' attached.

It's a small thing, but how you respond to these impolite impositions can set the tone for later parts of your courtship.

You must respond in a useful way.

Tactics Tuesdays: For Resistant Girls, Use This Parting Shot

resistant girl parting shot
Some girls like to be with you and have your attention, but won't let you escalate. If you reach the point where you're ready to bail on them, before you do, do this.

I've talked about parting shots on Girls Chase before.

A parting shot is anything you say to a girl before you ditch her, leave her behind, or otherwise cut contact with her, because it doesn't seem to be going anywhere with her.

It is, in my opinion, not great form to simply walk away from a woman you've invested time and energy into, and had even a bit of a connection with and got a little ways with, without a parting shot.

The reason for this is simple: sometimes women play games, under the assumption that you will continue to play games.

They do this because most guys will.

But you're not most guys.

And before you shove off, it's important that women understand that.

Tactics Tuesdays: The Heavy Pause

heavy pause
Use the 'heavy pause' in the right moment, just before you escalate. It makes it EASIER to make moves with the women you want to make moves with.

A pregnant pause is a pause you make before you say something impactful, or when you wait for the other person to fill in the silence.

Yet there's a specific type of pregnant pause we can use for specific situations, right before escalation.

To differentiate this pause from the more generic pregnant pause, let's call this type of pause the 'heavy pause'.

You can use a heavy pause before any important courtship milestone:

Heavy pauses serve as a sort of 'moment of truth' when you find out whether a girl is ready for the next step or not.

They also let you build up anticipation before you take the plunge... which makes the next move you make all the sweeter.

And if you're used to speeding through your interactions, a few heavy pauses at the right places can make all the difference between a rushed courtship versus one that proceeds at a whirlwind pace yet never feels hurried to her.

Tactics Tuesday: Be the Anti-Player

anti-player
The anti-player is still a player. However, the way he meets women is by keeping things intimate – so she can trust him more, and he can move faster.

Do women sometimes hit you with player accusations?

Does it feel like girls you approach are skeptical of you? As if they keep their guards up, not wanting to be so vulnerable with you they get hurt?

This is how people are with those they don't trust. Players are people women don't trust. A woman might be attracted to a player, but she often won't trust him.

And if she doesn't trust you, she probably won't go to bed with you.

There are a few different ways to overcome this 'player problem' and sleep with lots of girls.

One of the more reliable ways is what we might call 'being the anti-player'... really just a series of tactics that let you show a woman you are not going to hurt her or ditch her.

Combine that with your usual attractive, flirtatious, escalating self, and what you have is a guy who very easily leads women step-by-effortless-step through her seduction.

Tactics Tuesdays: Open Loops

open loop
An open loop in conversation serves as a conversational "fallback" – and it makes your conversations FEEL more interesting, too.

An open loop is a conversation line you open, which you then leave open as you switch to a different topic.

For example, you say "You know, I found this incredible little restaurant when driving around Southside last Sunday. Do you ever drive around Southside? I know it's a little down in the dumps but blah blah..."

You opened the topic of 'incredible little restaurant', then switched to a different topic (driving around Southside).

Meanwhile, you've left the 'incredible little restaurant' topic open. You can now loop back to it later if you wish.

Open loops are handy, because they serve as ready topics for you to switch back to later on. If one topic of conversation dries up, you can flip back to a loop you opened earlier.

Master conversationalists create lots of open loops. Open loops can serve as lifelines, bailing you out when something you tried conversationally does not work.

Seeding is a kind of open loop -- where you open the loop of something you'd like to do with someone at some point, then return to it later on.

Open loops have many uses.

For today's Tactics Tuesdays installment, I'll show you several of those uses (to help you get the gist of the tactic... but there are myriad uses for open loops), and I'll give you more examples of how to open a loop within your conversations.

Tactics Tuesdays: Running Into Girls Who Ghosted You

girl ghosted you
How should you act when you meet a girl who ghosted you? Avoid her? Hold her feet to the fire? No... you must be COOLER than this.

Sometimes, a girl will ghost you.

Happens to everyone. Nothing to be ashamed about.

She was excited when you met her. Maybe she agreed to a date. Then when you got her texting, she flaked on you, or quit responding.

What do you do when you run into her again?

Do you bring it up?

Guilt trip her over it?

Use a little self-deprecation about it?

Pretend it didn't happen and things are fine with you both?

If you get the response wrong, you'll only confirm any skepticism of you she earlier had.

Yet get the response right, and you can make her want something to happen with you much more than she ever did before.