Relationships | Page 32 | Girls Chase

Relationships

The continuing and ongoing encounters and involvement you maintain with a woman once you've slept together and become intimate -- whether weeks or months or years -- or more.

Girlfriend Moody? It's in Her Genes (But You Can Fix It)

girlfriend moodyOn the new forum join bonus post where I asked for suggestions for the limited-time ebook offered to the first group of forum members, a reader weighed in with his preference:

I'd like some tips and tricks, and knowledge about longer term relationships - for example, how to bring a girl out of that 'brick wall' sulk! I seem to attract fiery and moody, and I would like to know how other people deal with this. Never too old to learn?

While this didn't make it into the ebook in question, I've been trying to get through each of these and tackle the ones that weren't addressed there on the website here.

If you've been in a relationship that lasted any substantial length of time, you've no doubt encountered what our commenter here is talking about - that sulky, pouting, dreary moody girlfriend situation.

For men in relationships, there are few things more dispiriting than a girlfriend, moody and sulky, skulking around the apartment, acting like somebody stole her bag of cookies, and you have absolutely no idea why. It can make you want to pull your hair out and exclaim, "Out with it already, woman!"

If she'd just TELL YOU what the problem was, by George, then you could address it at least!

Well, if it's any consolation, science is here to tell us we're not crazy, and women really DO do this and feel this a lot more than men.

And I'm here to tell you what to do about it so she knocks this off and starts acting a little more chipper again.

How to Start a Relationship with a New Girlfriend

I've fielded a number of comments and questions from guys over the years on how to start a relationship off right with a new girl they've just started seeing. After all, you've used all the material on this site on how to turn yourself into a smooth, edgy, sexy man; and you've learned everything you need to know about how to get girls, you knew what to look for in a girlfriend, and you've found her, met her, and everything went perfectly. You took her to bed as your lover, and now she's yours.

Now what?

start a relationship

Most people treat dating and relationships as some big, mythical, emotionally-driven process these days, devoid of much logical forethought or planning. It's reached a point in Western thought where "giving in to your emotions" has become the ultimate ideal to be striven for and attained; you should seek to "just feel" and "go with your heart."

But while emotion is a very important piece of your actions and decision making as a human, it's only half the story, and, worse for relationships... it's the short term half of the story.

Emotions will have you shortchange your tomorrow for a better today.

What I'm going to tell you to do in THIS article, however, is to take command of yourself, and build a relationship designed to be strong, successful, and rewarding long after the fires of early emotion quit burning so brightly, or even quit burning at all.

This is, you might say, the anti-guide to falling in love: it's the guide not to getting there, but to staying there, and like all good stories it starts at the beginning.

What to Look For in a Girlfriend

There's a question that I think not enough men ask themselves, and they end up being the worse for it: that is, what to look for in a girlfriend.

I have a habit of being very selective about the people I have around me. The old adage that "you are the average of your five closest friends" is one I put a lot of salt in. Where does this "averaging effect" come from, and how does it play out in real life?

what to look for in a girlfriend

The simplest way of putting it is that successful people believe successful things, and unsuccessful people believe unsuccessful things. Now, that's a very boiled down way of putting it, for you could have a guy who owns a large stake in a Fortune 500 company that's worth billions and think of him as successful, but a guy who owns six gas stations that bring him in $20,000 a month you might also think of as successful, to a different degree.

On a more personal level, you may have a friend who's dead broke, but strongly believes that buying condominiums is the road to riches. No matter how much you point out to that friend that so far his proclamations and prognostications have failed to work out for him, he'll keep harping on it again and again, and pushing you to put all your savings into buying a condo, and you'll either eventually come around to his way of seeing things (whether he's "right" or not), or get so annoyed by it that you exit the friendship.

The people around you influence you strongly for better or for worse. To become exceptional, or to remain the way you are, or to backslide.

And the person with the greatest measure of influence on you of all, with the greatest ability to steer and direct your thoughts and ideas and emotions, is, of course, the one you spend the most time with: your girlfriend.

And if you aren't being selective when selecting the most important, influential person around you, you're doing yourself a major disservice.

If Your Girl is Bored, Change These 6 Things

All right, I know I said no more relationship stuff for a while so we could recover from that big relationship series binge, but I'm sitting here after missing my flight (I should be somewhere over the Pacific right now), going through some of the past month or so's posts, and I see I also said I'd try to get some posts up regarding earlier comments, and... well...

Back in early August, Anonymous commented on the post on how to prevent cheating, saying:

Could you write about what you mentioned, the whole making a girl feel TOO secure?

Okay - here's one more on relationships for now. Just think of it as an expansion pack to the relationship series!

Having a girl start feeling too secure with you is a BIG problem in any kind of relationship. Big.

It's the reason why girls start treating guys disrespectfully 9 times out of 10.

And, it's the reason why a girl is bored in her relationship 10 times out of 10.

That's right - not just most of the time on that last. But, EVERY time!

girl is bored

But wait, you say - Walt Disney taught me to make women feel safe and secure! Isn't that what they want?

Actually... no. Everyone takes away the message of, "Protect her and make her feel safe!" from the movies most of the time... and they get it all wrong.

Because there's something else happening in those movies too - another reason why girls swoon for Prince Charming, and it isn't his trust fund.

But everybody misses that part... and everybody ends up with his own bored girl as a result.

Well, here's how to get yourself back in line with what women actually want.

Relationship Series: Recaps, Takeaways, and One Last Note

relationship seriesWell, that time has come - time to wrap up our relationship series.

This has been a long collection of articles about the topic of relationships we’ve put out over the last several weeks… and if you asked me to, I could easily write another one just as long. Relationships are simply an incredibly complex topic, with a million little counterintuitive nuances.

Every time you think you’ve got them down… you don’t.

On the one hand, many of the rules we learn for dating go out the window… the game changes completely once you get into a monogamous, committed relationship with a girl.

On the other hand, you still can’t suddenly be a pushover, so a lot of the inner game advice still applies… and where and how to apply everything and in the right context is certainly an art and a science unto itself.

A lot of readers had written in with questions about relationships… and in my experience, this is what a large portion of our students ultimately want to get out of this game… sure, it’s nice to have a lot of choice in beautiful women, and sure, it’s nice to at least have the ability to live a playboy lifestyle for a while.

But when it comes down to it, most guys don’t really want to live life as far out as Chase or myself. The two of us have taken dating to the extreme, which is why we’re now in a position to teach just about anybody about almost any situation – after a decade of obsessing over this skill the way an Agassi would obsess over the game of tennis, there aren’t many situations we haven’t experienced yet. You might not want to be this obsessive… most people don’t.

Get Over Your Ex: 13 Steps to (Emotional) Freedom

get over your exIn yesterday’s post on ways you can lose a girlfriend, we went over the 4 things that can and almost universally WILL lead to the demise of your relationship (when you’re guilty of them): being too weak, fighting too much, bad sex, and taking her for granted.

Those things happen. In fact, they happen so much, it’s my (relatively conservative, I think) estimation that they happen 90% of the time… because something close to 90% (or more) of relationships come to an end sometime before death does them part.

Because of that, breakups end up being an inevitable fact of romantic life. Unless you’re one of the vanishingly few people out there who marries his high school sweetheart without ever kissing another girl and the two of you go onto spend the next 60 or 70 years in blissful union (and if you are, hats off to you! But why are you reading this blog?), you’re going to experience a breakup at some point.

And then it’ll be time to move on.

But like I mentioned in yesterday’s post, nobody WANTS to move on.

Everybody wants to know how to get their ex back. At least, everybody searching for information on the topic, that is.

Yet I promised a post to the readers yesterday on putting the past behind them and gearing up for the future. So let’s say you’re one of those few individuals who HAS reached that point where he’s said, "You know what? It IS time to move on."

Once you’ve decided it’s what you want to do… how do you get over your ex?

4 Things That Will LOSE You Your Girlfriend

So let’s say you do a great job with everything we’ve covered so far in the relationship series. You romance a girl, make her fall in love with you, weed out relationship drama, and build yourself a happy, healthy, rewarding relationship. There’s no way for you to lose a girlfriend now… right?

Well… not quite.

As it were, there are exactly FOUR ways to lose your girl, and quickly.

And you don’t have to do all of them.

You just have to do ONE of them.

lose a girlfriend

Because in the case of relationships, just ONE of these is all it takes to break Humpty Dumpty to pieces and cause you to lose your girlfriend for good.

Below, I list out what exactly of these four ways are… and what the one exception is to this rule of four.

Student of the Game: 7 Long Distance Relationship Tips

long distance relationship tips I’ve been seeing more guys than usual engaged in long distance relationships lately. And it’s not an uncommon situation to end up in in our increasingly mobile world - one or both partners leaves to attend school in a different city, or even country; she leaves or you leave to take a job somewhere else in the world.

And often these scenarios are okay - at least at first. But long distance relationships have a tendency to get complicated in a hurry.

Nevertheless, you may find yourself in a situation where you either need to choose to say goodbye, or choose to be in a long distance relationship with that one special girl. Is long distance a good idea?

Today, I want to give you a number of long distance relationship tips, an overview of when a long distance relationship is okay - and when to stay away - and take a look at the dynamics of making this choice.

End Relationship Drama with These 2 Rules

relationship dramaHave you ever noticed how women sometimes launch into relationship drama, picking a fight for no logical reason at all… and how even their arguments themselves are completely devoid of logic? Or how women sometimes try to boss you around, just to see how much they can get away with?

And with 80% of guys, a woman can get away with a LOT… until she completely owns him and walks all over his dignity. Yet he’s grateful - hey, at least he has a real girlfriend that is not made of rubber! (Grab one of our programs, of course, and you won’t have that problem).

But why do women do this? What’s the deal with women and drama? We all know they don’t want a weak guy… so why are they undermining his strength and masculinity? And what’s the best way to deal with it?

You may have read on our blog before that women test men because they NEED to make sure their man is strong – so that’s one reason why they put his masculinity to the fire. But if you give a girl too much rope, she’ll hang you with it.

Another reason for drama, however, is one of the more insidious tricks of Mother Nature… women also need to gain a certain amount of relationship control over their men. If she’s not in charge, he might leave once she’s pregnant… she needs to be sure that she can access his resources, both for herself and for their offspring.

If she starts to hold TOO much control in the situation though, she will see that you’re not strong enough and lose all interest in you. On the other hand, if you hold too much control, you will probably lose interest in her – that’s the essence of the passion trap.

The secret is to strike the right balance… and to do that, you will sometimes have to disarm one of her tests.

How to Romance a Girl (and Really Steal Her Heart)

how to romance a girlLet’s pick up where we left off in “How to Build a Relationship” and “How to Make a Girl Fall in Love with You.” As I mentioned previously in our relationship series, no matter how hot she is and how many options she has in guys, and no matter how much of an ice-queen she may appear to be on the surface… the reality of the situation is, it’s never an impossible task to figure out how to romance a girl because she’s likely not happy with her love life.

You cannot imagine how frustrating it is for women that they can’t seem to find a good guy!

If she’s very hot, this is even more frustrating… because now she really starts to question everything: “If I’m as beautiful as everybody always says I am, then where’s my prince? And what’s wrong with ME that I can’t find the right guy?”

I know, it’s outrageous… you’re probably thinking – what are they talking about? I AM a good guy… I’m right here… and I even approach them, what’s the matter with them?

The thing is, a good man, and one that is good enough for that kind of high-caliber girl, really IS exceptionally rare… and if you shape yourself into that kind of man - if you ask the question“ What do girls look for?” and then you go and become that - you will have a LOT of choice and power with women.

But that is exactly her dilemma… not only are these ideal guys one in a million, but they also have so many options that they’re very hard to nail down.