Relationships

A reader asks:

“Hey Chase, any quick tips on performing oral sex on girls and stimulating the clit specifically? I checked out the other articles but I couldn't get anything specific on the subject.”

We seem to get asked this one a lot... and always on articles that have nothing to do with sex. So let's address it: how to give a girl oral sex.

This is one a lot of men seem to struggle with, but you may be relieved to know it's actually much simpler to learn how to give a girl orgasms through oral sex than it is to learn how to give her orgasms via penetration.

There's no rhythm you must learn to be good.

You needn't exhaust yourself heaving your body back and forth.

You won't even have to learn about the g-spot, the deep spot, the vaginal back wall, or Ricardus's “r-spot” from his article on how to be a good lover.

In fact, all you need to make a girl orgasm from oral is a little patience... and a willing tongue.

And, of course, my 4 simple steps.

WARNING: this one is not safe for work... there is one section below where words do not suffice, and graphics simply are needed. So make sure there's nobody around you can get in trouble with for looking at clitoris pictures before you proceed (and if there is... what are you doing reading an article about oral sex at work, anyway).

Sex is a fantastic thing – for both men and women. But unfortunately, many women find themselves dissatisfied with their sex lives for one reason or another. Sometimes they settle for a guy who doesn’t have very much value. Sometimes they can’t find a guy at all.

And sometimes…the sex is just too vanilla. The girl walks away lamenting the fact that the guy was unable to truly take control of the situation and give her an unforgettable experience.

And if there’s one secret I can share with you, it’s this: girls are always looking for that guy who will give them an unforgettable experience.

So how do you put yourself in the position to have wild sex with pretty girls? And what do you do once you get there? That’s what we’ll be covering today.

In terms of relationships, a topic that is often discussed is cheating. Men talk about the consequences of cheating, times that they were involved with a girl who was cheating on her boyfriend or husband, or methods of preventing their girl from cheating to begin with.

But a potential relationship-destroying force that is often overlooked in the rhetoric of men is the emotional affair.

Emotional affairs can be just as detrimental to your happiness and stability in a relationship as sexual ones can be.

So today I’m going to talk about the events and signs that often lead to an emotional affair and what you can do as a man to try to ensure that you don’t end up in this position.

A little while back, when I was in my early 20s, I first read Dale Carnegie’s perennial bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People. Many of the approaches described within it were things I knew, or affirmed what I felt, but sometimes the best kind of advice is this way; you think you’re doing things right, and then someone far more experienced than you comes along and says, “Yep, you’ve got it. In fact, take what you’re doing now and do it more.”

Because it’s been nearly a decade since I’ve read it, most of its lessons have faded from my mind, and all I remember about it was one key lesson from it. However, that lesson has influenced how I’ve dealt with people in such a profound way that I don’t think I’ll ever forget it no matter how much time passes.

[edit: was rolling Napoleon Hill’s Laws of Success up as one of Carnegie’s works... forgive the brain fart]

Yet, pound-for-pound, the key takeaway from Win Friends and Influence People for me has been one of the best takeaways from any book I’ve yet read period.

Before I tell you what that is, let me tell you what I’ve noticed about how most people communicate with one another.

Ending a relationship with a loved one is a difficult task for any man to endure. You know you’re supposed to replace them, not chase them. You know that going out and having fun is the better alternative to rumination. But even after learning these things, you may not be able to recreate those feelings you felt in that relationship you look back on with rose-colored glasses.

I know the exact same feeling. In my early days of finding this website, while I was still dealing with approach anxiety and the inability to pull the trigger, I found a girl who ended up taking charge and pulling the trigger herself. Unfortunately for me, when she did this, she was clearly the one in power.

Fast-forward a couple of weeks later, and my lack of experience made the relationship go sour. Logically, I was completely fine with the relationship ending, as I knew it would only be a negative influence on my life to attempt to string her along, as I would be in the position of chasing her... but emotionally, things were very different.

There have been many articles written on this site about fidelity (or lack thereof) and on unraveling what society has told you in order to reveal the true nature and promiscuity of women. These are articles like:

• Sexual Awakening: How to Have Her Doing Almost Anything in Bed
• There’s Always Another Man In Her Life
• Girl Has a Boyfriend? 3 Things to Do and 7 Things NOT To
• How to Steal a Girl from Under Her Boyfriend’s Nose
• How to Prevent Cheating by Your Girlfriend
• Why I Quit Dating Girls Who Club, Party, or Drink
• What Women Think About Their Husbands
  
• Walk the Line

And lately a lot of men in my life have been realizing that a woman’s relationship status is often tenuous and – even more concerning – actually a poor indicator as to whether or not she would actually sleep with you (even if that status is “married”). It’s definitely an unsettling realization to come to. But, unsettling by whose standards? Certainly not by Mother Nature’s.

Up until this point we have yet to fully cover why women want multiple partners. But believe it or not, it’s actually in a woman’s best interest to sleep with multiple men. So today I’m going to cover why women take on – or desire to take on – multiple partners and how we as men can adapt, understand, and come to terms with that fact.

If you are like most guys you probably have thought at one point or another that attraction is like a switch, and once it switches on it is on forever. But what might surprise you is that the reality is totally counter to your expectations.

The startling truth is that a woman’s need for you to keep her attracted is actually very similar to a thirst, and she needs it refilled every time you interact with her (not just once). If you are clever you will realise that the best long term plan – just like a thirst – will require a well to be dug and water to be pumped and delivered on a consistent basis.

Don’t let this image scare you however, I just mean to imply that attraction has to become a consistent thing that you uphold with actions every day rather than an objective you meet once and are done with.

Conventional wisdom states that once you “ask her out”, “marry her”, or get an “in for sex” that it is game set and match, but this is just simply false, and girls will ALWAYS change their minds unless you are consistently attractive. If you have a mindset that runs off the belief that you only need her approval ONCE, throw it out the window and change your view immediately.

In essence, women are much like any other thing worth getting right in life, they take passion and a great work ethic to do right, and once you adopt that “work ethic” you can consistently rebuild and maintain attraction all day long. So if you want to never have to guess again at IF she likes you, you have to set your mind to changing your expectations and go from a “set and forget” guy, to a guy that applies himself consistently.