Pickup Tech

You might tell yourself “I’ll show her!” when a girl is resistant to or uninterested in you. Is there a better way to respond to a resistant or disinterested woman?

There’s a mentality I see a lot from guys. I’ve been guilty of it too, so I won’t claim innocence.

It goes like this: some girl doesn’t give you what you want, or she puts up walls to you, or does something else you do not like. In defiance, you tell yourself, “I’ll show her!” and you end the courtship. She’ll miss you when you’re gone – but now it’s too late for her; her chance with you is blown.

This mentality does indeed have its uses. We’ll talk about them below.

However, much of the time guys use it, it is just puffery. The girl moves on, doesn’t spend more than a few thoughts on you, and meets someone else. You, meanwhile, get to be alone with all your “I sure showed her!” thoughts.

If you do it, should you never do it? And if you don’t do it, what ought you do instead?

Your body positioning says a lot about you… and it even tells the people who see you and talk to you how to feel about you. Here’s how to position yourself in nightclubs.

Hey guys, I wanted to cover a part of the seduction process that has not been thoroughly explained and is crucial for having good results when picking up girls at bars and clubs. This article is meant for those of you who practice night game.

Alek Rolstad and I were talking the other day, and we slipped onto the topic of positioning. We were amazed how much we used it but didn’t discuss it. We have actually been using a lot of deliberate techniques we never talked about.

After a while of doing seduction, some learned tools become ingrained and you stop reflecting on them. What I’m about to cover I learned from thousands of interactions. Over the years, I have been adjusting my methods of positioning, and I will now share some simple tips about when and why to position yourself in certain ways in clubs to reach the maximal result – the pull.

Before you walk up to a girl, you’re going to make guesses about who she is and how to approach. What signals should you pay attention to, vs. which should you not?

Welcome to the final installment in my Calibration series. If you haven’t caught up on the previous posts, here they are:

• Part 1: What Is Calibration?

• Part 2: Calibrating to Social Context

• Part 3: Calibrate Your Timing

• Part 4: Should You Calibrate to Her Personality?

Previously, I shared my skepticism regarding different female personalities, types, and archetypes, and their usefulness in pickup and seduction. Many readers assume that calibration is all about analyzing what type of girl you’re dealing with, then proceeding with a certain “method” that fits that exact girl. Well, it isn’t that easy – sorry.

In Part 4, I shared the reasons why I believe such a model is fallible:

• Recognizing what kind of person she is requires you to spend time with her. This is not possible with cold approach.

• Recognizing her type and personality is very difficult even if you’ve spent some time with her (through work, school, and other social settings). You don’t really know who she truly is, because you’ve only seen her and interacted with her in one or two settings. I remember back in the day how a particular “Miss Introvert” from class would go nuts when she’s in a club. That was a learning moment for me. I’ve had many similar experiences since.

• In different settings, you will notice how many sides there are to women. Even if you knew her before, women don’t just experience different emotions more often, they act upon them more than men. In other words, who she is is kind of a fluid concept, especially in a settings that stimulate her a lot (clubs) or social settings that force her to put on a social mask (classrooms).

• Honestly, when you are in-field trying to seduce, you have higher priorities than trying to perform psychoanalysis and trying to find out who she is. Instead, you have to hook her in, connect, and seduce her. You have limited time, and she has a limited attention span. Pick your tools carefully.

• Also, this may not be the case for you, but many of us operate in highly-chaotic environments like clubs. As mentioned earlier, such places affect her emotionally, which will have an impact on her presence, but the chaos makes it very difficult for us to judge and discern who she is. And we ourselves will be more stressed, and the chaos will cloud our perceptions.

That said, without contradicting the points above (and the points of my previous posts), I will make a little argument for how using personality types can be a bit useful. However, there are lots of caveats, and the way I personally use them will differ a bit from how others would expect.

After presenting my framework, I will share with you the categories I use. But let’s first lay out the framework of how I would use personality types in calibration.

Not every transsexual wants you to know all the details. To not get catfished, you need to know how to spot a transsexual – and steer clear of traps.

I just saw the David Cronenberg movie M. Butterfly, about a dude who seduces another dude who doesn’t know he’s a dude, and carries on an affair with him for 20 years and even convinces him they had a child together. All based on a true story (you can read about it on Wikipedia). What a weird movie that was (I’ve always loved both main actors, too – Jeremy Irons and John Lone. Terrific talents. Though this sure was a strange flick). Anyway, got me thinking about this topic.

A while back, I was out with a group of people in a new city. Our group consisted of five guys and four girls. Three of the girls were friends, but one was a little separate from the rest of the group. And this one... something about her triggered my “there’s something weird here” radar.

She was dressed in a sexy teal dress, and went around flirting with all the boys. She had an eye for me in particular. But to me, she looked like the women I’d seen in a cougar club in Del Mar; skin too-tight on the face (obvious sign of a face lift), lips full in an unnatural way (Botox?), dressed too flashy for an average girl. “She must be an older woman hunting for younger guys,” I thought.

At one point though, the guy I knew there leaned in and told me “She used to be a guy.”

Light bulbs went off. Ah... that’s what I was picking up on.

“Her last boyfriend didn’t find out until they’d been sleeping together for a month,” he said.

“Interesting,” I said. “How’d he react to that?”

“He was pretty upset,” my friend said.

This article is about how to not end up like that duped boyfriend, or some of the other men I’ve had transsexuals tell me about from their romantic histories (one, showing me a picture of a boyfriend, about said boyfriend: “He got used to it”). It’s about how to spot a transsexual – because not every transsexual wants you to know the truth.

How should you calibrate your approach to a girl’s personality? Or, more importantly, should you even bother with this at all?

Welcome back, gents!

In this vast series on calibration, we have so far covered 3 key subjects:

Sometimes despite your best efforts, a girl will tell you “the spark isn’t there” or that she “just isn’t feeling it.” When this happens, you have 3 options on how to proceed.

I recently responded to a comment from a reader named Jason about an issue he ran into, where a girl he had a good thing going with (they’d progressed fairly far into intimacy, though hadn’t had penetrative sex yet) told him, about their kisses, that she “didn’t feel a spark.”

There’s a certain category of rejection girls can hit you with, where they object to the potential between you and them. Usually this takes the form of a girl telling you it just doesn’t ‘feel’ right, in this way or that. Examples:

• “I just don’t feel any chemistry”
• “The spark just isn’t there”
• “I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it”
• “I just don’t feel into it, I don’t know why”
  

The most maddening thing about this is its vagueness. Vague problems are hard problems to right.

So what do you do? Pack your things and go? Give chase and try to convince her she’s all wrong, and there was a spark? Obviously, neither of those is ideal.

There are a few superior options you can use to deal with objections like this. Those better options are the subject of this post.

Timing is a crucial element of successful pickups. If your timing is off, you’ll often completely blow it with girls. But get timing right, and that girl you want is yours…

Hey, guys! Welcome back to my series on calibration.

If you haven’t caught Part 1 and Part 2, definitely check them out.

Why this series on calibration? Because calibration is so damn key to your success with women. That’s why. It’s one of the most important aspects that set apart intermediate and advanced players. Better calibration gets you more girls (and hotter girls) more consistently. That’s reason enough.

Anyway, today we will discuss timing, a subfield of calibration that is rarely discussed on seduction blogs and forums, yet every time guys (usually intermediate or advanced seducers) discuss their nights out, they always seem to bring up timing (“My timing was off!”) as the most common reason for failure. And “My timing was on point!” is usually among the most common reasons for success.

Again, just like any other subject related to calibration, field experience (successes and failures) is what makes one a master. But you know this already. This post will just speed up your progress to mastery.