Pickup Tech

I lately responded to a comment where I talked about one kind of barrier destroyer. I figured I’d talk about some others here.

Barriers are a spectacular tactic. They challenge a girl you are with to take some kind of action (favorable to the direction you want to move things in) to get things moving. For instance, “I’d really love to get to know you better. But you have this sarcastic attitude toward any attempts at real talk that makes it so difficult.” Use this with a girl you have a good thing going with, and you make her aware of her defenses, and encourage her to drop them (to let you in). Another common barrier: “If it wasn’t for the crowd of people around us, my hands would be all over you.” A girl who’s already pretty into you is fairly likely to start suggesting somewhere more private the two of you might head at this point.

But this article isn’t about using barriers yourself. It’s about what to do when women use barriers on you.

Because they can and they will.

The productive barriers you don’t need to dismantle, of course. If she says “It’s too bad we’re in public and not somewhere private right now”, don’t destroy that barrier. Just get her somewhere alone with you.

It’s the unproductive barriers you need to watch out for. Ones that put the brakes on the courtship, slip you into the boyfriend zone, or banish you to the platonic friend zone.

When a girl hits you with an unproductive barrier, you can feel stuck: barriers can be hard to tear down in an effective way. They put up a wall between you and her that can feel insurmountable. This article gives you the tools to get unstuck, and get past the wall.

Mass approaching gets a bum rap. When it’s used well, it stops being sloppy and scattershot… and becomes a savvy, effective way to meet many women in a hurry.

Do you ignore signs of interest from girls or get too nervous to approach? You may want to spend 5 minutes to rehearse approaches and scenarios in your mind.

If you’ve ever gone out to chat up new women and had approach anxiety hit, you know how much it sucked. You wanted to talk to girls, hoped to talk to girls, tried to talk to girls... then couldn’t.

You walked up next to a girl with the long black hair and the tight jeans on the street corner as she waited for the light to change. You said nothing.

You took a seat in a café next to a girl with medium-length blonde hair and big googly glasses. She glanced at you a few times, and you tried to summon your nerve. Yet your nerve went unsummoned, and you and her never spoke.

That night you went out with your buddies to the lounge, and this one girl in a sequined dance danced over right near you. You could tell she wanted to meet you. You tried to get yourself to say hi, but you didn’t say anything.

It might be you just weren’t socially warmed up. You lack social momentum, and needed to do some warm-ups – but you hadn’t done them yet.

You wish you could just spring into action the moment you saw a girl.

Is there a way you could?

Perhaps there is. Next time you go out, try to rehearse your approaches first.

What’s one thing all the best seducers have in common? Logistical awareness. Where to go, what to pay attention to, and all the secret spots inside the venue.

“You shouldn’t do this” – there’s no better way to get someone to do it than to tell her not to. Here’s how to use reverse psychology in dating and relationships.

In a comment on my article last week about orgasm anchoring, a reader named Edgy asks:

“Hey Chase! Any perspectives on how reverse psychology ties in with seduction?”

... and absolutely; it’s a real fun topic.

(aside: apologies for my delays on responding to comments, by the way. We’re doing a reshoot of several of the One Date lessons in May + shooting a bunch of other stuff, and all the logistical, writing, and managing prep for that has left me even less time than usual. I will get to comments, though!)

The gist of reverse psychology is that you advocate for the opposite of what you want someone to think, feel, or do. “Do not push!” written on a button, for instance – you can’t help but want to push that button, just to see what happens.

In terms of dating and relationships, that might mean you tell your date or girlfriend to do the opposite of what you in fact wish her to do. Or it might mean you act like you support the position opposite the one you hope she herself will choose.

Before you think this is some passive-aggressive way to get your way, think again. It’s a quite powerful psychological device – and you can use it in a variety of ways.

You’ve heard it’s good not to eject too soon with a girl you’ve just met. So when SHOULD you eject? Any of these 7 times, as it were.

Slightly more fun article today.

What do you do when you get a girl who will let you touch her and cuddle with her, but not touch her breasts, buttocks, or crotch? You touch her other places... in sexy ways.

You’ve got a girl back at your place, making out with you, yet she’s resistant to sex. “We shouldn’t do this,” she tells you. “I have to get going.” Et cetera. You’ve heard it all before.

Do you want to plow ahead? Just keep trying? That can work. You won’t always have the drive for it though.

Here’s the deal: so long as she’s there, spending time with you in an intimate situation, you are still able to touch her and do things to turn her on, even if she yanks your hand off her crotch or won’t let you get her shirt off. There are more things you can do, and they seem harmless enough she will let you do them. And as you do them, she’ll get more and more turned on – and after you’ve done them for a while, those shirts, bras, pants, and panties come flying off.

I’m not going to go into a full discussion of foreplay today. You can read my articles on how to get a girl in bed and physical escalation once she’s in bed for more on that. You might also want to read our articles about giving women cunnlingus if you need details on that.

Today we’re just going to talk about places you can touch and ways to touch that turn girls on, without being full-on erogenous zone foreplay.