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You Must Keep Your Investment in the Ballpark with Hers

Chase Amante's picture

investment ballpark
Investment is a funny thing. It’s crucial to your courtships – but it’s also easy to mess up, if you do not calibrate it to the girl.

Yesterday, in my video on the subject, we talked about compliance. We’ll talk about it again tomorrow in my next video... plus a lot more inside One Date.

It’s vital to get women to invest in you. One of the easiest ways to build investment is to get them to comply with you. The more a woman complies, the more invested in and committed to you and her courtship with you she grows.

However, there’s some nuance here. And that is that some women invest much more on their own... and others, it’s like getting blood from a stone, trying to get them to invest and comply.

If you approach both women the same way, you’ll run into some fairly significant problems, bordering on “I can’t get these girls.”

That’s because when it comes to investment, it isn’t just about maximizing how much she invests in you. It’s also about keeping your own investment – in her and in the courtship – in the same ballpark as hers.

Calibration Series Pt. 2: Calibrating to Social Context

Alek Rolstad's picture

social context
You must calibrate your approaches and interactions to the social context you find yourself in. What’s that include? Exposure, vibe, and appropriateness.

Welcome back to this series on calibration, guys. Last time, we discussed what is, in my opinion, the most important aspect of calibration: calibrating to her level of interest and her overall response to your moves.

This time around, we will discuss another key aspect of calibration. Again, if you manage to understand the concepts and the theories, as well as the techniques covered in my last post, you will do well. I swear. If you also manage to master the ideas of this post, you are already a pretty good seducer, for sure.

But like I mentioned in my previous post, there is no way one can become good at calibration without field experience. By this I mean failing and succeeding. Both give valuable lessons. Do not be afraid to mess up. Instead, jump into it, take a risk. If she doesn’t like it and she loses attraction? Well, as long as you did not cross the line into “overly offensive,” then no big deal, move on, learn from your mistake. And the next time you meet a girl in a similar context, you will be more calibrated.

These posts will serve as guidance to shorten the learning process. It will help you get better at calibration by helping you learn faster from your field experience. These posts will give you an overall idea so that you are not left in the dark, but keep in mind that you can only truly understand the points I am about to cover after having experienced them in real life.

Additionally, when it comes to calibration, there are unlimited nuances (so many that it is literally impossible to cover them all in posts). I can only give you the big picture, as an understanding of the small details are best acquired through in-field training. For example, every girl and every context differs. So many factors play in that dictate the outcome of an interaction:

  • Her personality
  • Her mood
  • The context
  • Your mood

And each of these have almost infinite variations.

However, with experience, you can create a model that has a high success rate.

For real, I have never seen a guy with a 100% success rate, but I know that an average of 1/5 from a club is doable. And let’s be frank, isn’t that more than good enough? It surely is for me.

Calibration Series Pt. 1: What Is Calibration?

Alek Rolstad's picture

calibration
You must know how to calibrate yourself to women to excel with them. This means you need to know how to read her signals, punish/reward, persist, and more.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post titled How to Tell If a Guy Is a Good Seducer where I covered some aspects that, in my opinion, good seducers have in common. One of those was having good calibration.

A few days later, a reader (drfeelg00d) asked the following:

Calibration: Your game is indirect and based on the reaction of the girls. The examples about calibration that you gave in this article are quite basic (no criticism!)...

For instance, on a macro level:

How do you calibrate considering the girls overall personality (shy, outgoing, experienced, inexperienced, young, old, artist or career type of girl etc…) Do you always stick to the same vibe or do you for instance add some aloofness to it, depending on the type of girl? On a micro level:

How do you calibrate to specific responses to you, say, in the beginning the famous red-yellow-green scheme? Then later, if she denies a compliance test, what if she rejects a frame set by one of your gambits?

These are very good questions indeed. In my opinion, I believe what drfeelg00d refers to as the micro level is the most important aspect. I will therefore discuss this first and put more emphasis on it in this post. I will discuss what he refers to as the “macro level” in my next post.

This post will be pretty content-packed, and I may go a bit too quickly for some. If that is the case, let me know in the comment section if anything is unclear, and I will make a new post to elaborate. A cup of coffee or tea is recommended before reading this one. That said, I think this post is worth your time, no matter the girl, your skill level, or where you meet the girls.

First things first: Regarding calibration. It is one of the hardest subjects to cover, as the nuances are infinite. The best way to become calibrated is through field experience, which entails failing and succeeding – and sadly, most of the time failing. But the end benefits are worth it. Being a smooth and calibrated seducer is so key, and also something pleasurable to become!

That said, this post, in addition to my upcoming posts, will give you clues and advice that will ease up the process. But again… experience… going out and meeting women… there are no other ways around it.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Time Your Moves

Chase Amante's picture

time your moves
When your words, actions, and moves aren’t timed right, it all feels wrong and incongruous. Yet when the timing is right, everything becomes magic.

When a comedian makes a joke, even if it’s a spectacular joke, if the timing is wrong, nobody laughs.

Usually on Girls Chase we talk about timing in the context of:

Yet timing snakes its tendrils through everything you do with women. Timing matters in your opens. Timing matters when you ask for investment. Timing matters at transition points. Timing matters during the pull, the kiss, and the escalation to intimacy.

If your timing is off, everything in your process will be off. You’ll fly blind through the courtship, trying this here and that there. Timing, you will notice if you observe enough guys in action, often is the Achilles’s heel of many men who work hard in seduction but reap few rewards. When you see such guys, your frequent reaction will be “Why is he doing that then? He should’ve done that 10 minutes ago!” or “Why is he saying this now? She’s not ready for that yet!”

We’re going to tackle timing in two ways today.

The first is to give you a rough sequence of events a courtship progresses through.

The second is to give you a couple signs to watch out for to let you calibrate your timing no matter where you’re at with her.

What Tight Game Looks Like (or What It Should Look Like)

Alek Rolstad's picture

tight game
Tight game in general should be hard to say. That’s for good reason: while flashy game can be attractive, it can also attract a lot of unwanted attention.

Last week, we discussed the difficulties one may face in perceiving tight game – the elements involved and the ability to spot guys who are truly good with women. We also discussed some of the key elements that constitute true mastership compared to simple flash. And no, mastership is not about having that super-crazy routine or having girls react crazily over your approach; rather, it is about calibrating smoothly, making good calls, having your timing in check, and being able to handle logistics.

In this post, we will discuss “why” tight game should not be easily perceived. What are the benefits of being low key? Why is it a good thing that nobody sees you as the player guy? Keep on reading, because I believe this is a key subject that can’t be covered enough. It may have a direct impact on your dating and pick-up success.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Handle "I Have to Find My Friends"

Chase Amante's picture

I have to find my friends
You’ve met a girl, hit it off, and invited her to leave with you. But then she tells you “I have to find my friends!” Don’t fret – there are several ways to handle this.

One of the most bone-chilling things a girl you’ve made a lot of headway with in a bar, at a party, on a beach, or in a shopping mall can tell you when you ask her to go somewhere with you is “I have to find my friends!”

It signals a likely end to this beautiful courtship you’ve enjoyed with her. Either she is going to go and not come back... or you are going to go with her and follow her around like a puppy dog for a bit, until her friends decide it is time to go and she leaves (without you).

It totally sucks. You thought you were doing great with her. But now she “has to find her friends.”

How do you handle this obstacle with finesse, and not lose the girl?

How to Tell If a Guy Is a Good Seducer

Alek Rolstad's picture

good seducer
There are plenty of “flashy” seducers out there. Flashy doesn’t always (or even often) mean good though. Instead, look for these 6 signs a guy’s got talent with women.

Is it possible to tell whether somebody has good game?

Say you are out with a guy and want to determine whether he’s someone you should learn game from. Or maybe you saw a guy do something you found cool, and you want to determine whether it is working to get him laid. What are the signs that really define whether someone is good, not so good, or downright bad?

It’s pretty easy to spot people who are really bad with women, but finding those who are good is actually harder than one may think. Some people tend to be amazed by certain guys when they’re not actually amazing at all.

Drinking and Meeting Girls, Part 2: Why and How to Drink

Alek Rolstad's picture

how to drink
You don’t want to get too crazy with alcohol when your goal is “girls.” But you can definitely drink a bit. How much? It depends...

Welcome back! Last week, I discussed the implications of drinking alcohol in regards to practicing seduction. The post may have expressed a rather negative and pessimistic view, but again, as mentioned in last post (to be emphasized here), having a few drinks is not harmful. You don’t need to go full-blown sober in order to practice your seduction skills or perform smoothly.

The point is to not drink too much (duh).

In this post, I will point out some benefits of drinking. Additionally, I will present some opinions on how your selection of drink affects the perception women may have of you. I’ll also give you a bunch of simple but cool tips that can really impact the way you will experience the nightlife (for the better).

Let’s get right into it.

Before I get to the pointers, I will briefly mention the obvious: alcohol can relieve anxiety – particularly approach anxiety – and make a person more comfortable in social situations. However, I believe it is a crutch. Do you really want to become dependent on booze in order to score hot ladies? Additionally, if you practice “non-drunk,” your skills will improve more quickly.

Some of you may think that on bad nights (nights where you feel anxious), it may be worth having a few drinks in order to get the ball rolling. Usually that is a bad idea, as booze can reinforce your current mood, whatever it may be (and have the opposite of the desired effect). That said, we all react differently to alcohol.

If you do struggle with anxiety, there are healthier alternatives (with better effects):

  • Teas with high levels of L-theanine (Japanese Gyokuro, and Oolongs)
  • Catuaba
  • Red (Panax) Ginseng
  • Rhodiola Rosea (rose root)
  • Cacao (yes, buy some organic cacao nibs! Not the powdered crap!)

However, note that using any of these is still a crutch, as you are still depending on “substances” to get you going. However, they may come in useful when you have bad nights. That is when I take some catuaba and ginseng. And tea is something I always drink!

Tactics Tuesdays: Girls You Don't Touch

Chase Amante's picture

girls you don't touch
Usually you want to touch the girls you like. But not always. Advanced daters can use the ‘no-touch’ technique to ramp things up with harder-to-get girls.

Usually, the other writers here and I will tell you to touch women early and touch them often.

Touch is good. It lets her see you are not a timid man, unafraid to contact her. It helps you stand out from most of the men she meets, who either don’t touch her or don’t know how to touch her (i.e., they touch her in half-hearted or awkward ways).

When you start out, you will want to touch any woman you talk with, to get comfortable with touch, and in general to help you build the sexual tension you will have difficulty building with vibe alone as a beginner.

However, sometimes (particularly for non-beginners) it works better if you don’t touch. Today’s article will be about that.

Drinking and Meeting Girls, Part 1: Drawbacks to Being Drunk

Alek Rolstad's picture

drinking and meeting girls
If you do nightlife, you probably like to drink. But getting drunk isn’t always a good way to meet girls – in fact, it’s usually counterproductive.

If you go to parties, bars, or clubs, you will often be faced with the question: to drink or not to drink?

More specifically, in our community, the question is asked to determine how drinking affects seduction? Drinking is a critical and central part of modern pairing rituals that we find in the nightlife, and is therefore a question that has to be covered and answered. So I decided to give my thoughts in this 2-part post.

In part 1 (this article), I’ll cover the negative effects drinking may have on your dating life. Part 2 (next week) will cover the benefits. This should provide a balanced and nuanced discussion on the matter.

And don’t worry, I’m not going to preach on the moral implications of drinking, such as its health concerns, the dangers of drinking and driving, etc. This post will focus only on one thing – is alcohol good for meeting women?