Mindsets

Ever see a really beautiful woman that you’d love to meet, walking down the sidewalk… she looks like your ideal, and maybe you even imagine how well the two of you would probably hit it off together, and the laughter and smiles and romance and adventures you might share in an unwritten future… and then you just let her walk by, past you without a word, off into the sunset and into being no more than a memory to you, never to know what might have been?

There is an old adage in the seduction community that goes, “It’s better to be rejected than live with regret.”

Yet so many men invent what they might not even identify as excuses for saving their feelings and remaining in a state of inaction… and fear. Today I’m going to put a magnifying glass on these weak excuses and why you should throw them out the window to make substantial changes in your life.

A few days ago, Peter had an article up on deprogramming yourself from Madonna/whore complex, a form of black and white thinking in which there are good girls - Madonnas - who aren't all that interested in sex, and there are bad girls - whores - who love nothing more than a good pounding by just about anyone.

As his focus was more on the deprogramming side of things - so that you might optimize your sex life and dealings with women in a Western, post Madonna/whore type world - Peter only scraped the surface on where this mental model of female sexuality originates in his article, and I'd like to expand greatly upon both the background of Madonna/whore and the purpose that it serves here.

This is going to be a ride through some of the stranger and less-discussed aspects of human sexual history and civilization, so... I hope you're prepared for a lengthier piece.

In my article on sexual awakenings, Wallflower left a comment wanting to know how she could help a guy to drop his Madonna/whore complex:

“Just a question for the ladies ;) How would you get a guy to drop his M/W complex? Is it possible? What would be the strategy here?”

While I touched on the M/W complex briefly, I think the beliefs that frame the current Western feeling on sexual expression, particularly where women are involved, is something that is worth further examination.

To help rid yourself of your sexually limiting beliefs and any vestige of Madonna/Whore complex, a perusal of sexual lore through particular historical examples can be massively beneficial.

Learning about it will bolster your skills with women by helping you to set liberal sexual frames with genuine conviction and an understanding of why they work.

Additionally, gaining a more objective understanding of sexuality can also be of great benefit to any relationships you find yourself in, monogamous or polygamous.

And as stated in my previous article, a relaxed attitude to women's sexuality is something that is crucial to help any girl to a sexual awakening... so that the both of you can have mind-blowing sex.

A few years ago, I wrote "Can't Stop Thinking About Her? Here's Why You Need to Meet More Girls" for all the guys out there going crazy over That One Special Girl. I've been there; I understand it.

It's a tough place to be.

I was reminded of one of the essential elements of this not long ago when coaching a mentee on sales. She was new to it, and had had a string of successes, but then, suddenly, ended up working with a customer who was incredibly difficult: he kept changing his mind, kept calling her and asking to see more product, kept haggling endlessly on price.

And as this went on, as my friend plowed more and more time into this one customer, it became a more and more emotionally charged thing for her, and a bigger and bigger deal.

She also came down more and more on price, and became more and more willing to sell him something for almost nothing.

Soon it became all she thought about. She ate, slept, and breathed this customer.

Eventually the sale fell though, and it sent her into a rage. How could this customer have wasted so much of her time and not even given her anything?

I was reminded of one of the most important lessons of both sales and seduction then: don't over-invest in any one prospect, and don't get too attached.

A reader recently contributed another comment to the article "When Women Test Men." Like many of the commenters on that article, he balked; "Why should I have to learn how to deal with women's tests? Women should simply like me for ME, and NEVER test me!"

In one way, I sympathize. It's no fun feeling like other people are putting you under a microscope, examining you, and that you're being inspected to see if you meet their requirements.

However, the element of learning how to automatically pass the tests you see from women - that's things like:

• Her asking you loaded questions about yourself

• Her putting up resistance to dating or sleeping with you

• Her giving you drama in a relationship

... is more or less one of the key foundational elements, all boiled down, of learning "game."

And when you're first learning how to deal with tests, they can be hard, and they can be confusing, and they can make you feel helpless, and they are not a lot of fun.

But, is it perhaps possible to just skip learning how to deal with all these feminine things, and just screen for and get women who don't act like this?

Can you opt not to learn game... and still find success in mating and in life?

Note from Chase: this is our first article from Cody Lyans, whom you may also know by the handles "The Cost of Success" or, in shorter form, "Cosy." Cody's a very talented and experienced seducer who spends time traveling mainly about Western Europe. His focuses tend to be on deep psychological layers underlying surface dynamics, knowing women inside out, and drawing women in with strong fundamental-based magnetism and a love of empowering and infusing those around him with strong positive energy. I give you Cody.

About me:

As a courageous young man he started approaching suntanned beauties on beaches and girls in shopping malls because he was, ironically, too scared to talk to girls he knew in high school. An unusually shy yet carefree character that compensates with a wild inner fire caused him to push the boundaries of his comfort zones in remarkably unique ways. Coming from a place of limiting beliefs he fought his way into a clarity that helped him to understand the things that kept causing him to make mistakes with girls.

He honed his understanding of women whilst working at nightclubs until he eventually decided to go all in and get into the action for some more hands on experience. An enigmatic yet highly engaging and open individual out to help, he believed that everyone has the right to improve every part of who they are and took understanding women as an important step towards a full and rich life. He not only learnt what allows you to present yourself as a desirable guy but also how to improve how fulfilled you are with your life at the same time.

His writing style is that of a storyteller, and his articles will bring a confident and breezy twist to the reading experience whilst still capturing the brilliant spirit of sharing here at Girls Chase.

In short he is sharp minded, surprisingly wise, and full of experience as a true believer in Seduction as a means to a better life.

We talk about value quite a bit on this site: being a high value man, dating a high value woman (or two) and adding value to situations where you want to make friends or contacts. But does value really matter that much? The short answer is: yes. It matters a lot.

Because while a lot of people feel entitled to things... just because you feel entitled doesn’t mean other people feel any obligation to give them to you.

I’ve noticed a certain level of self-entitlement in men that have no skills with women, men who are beginners, and even somewhat with men who are intermediate. Today I want to take a deeper look at value and examine what we as men “deserve” from women and life.