Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

As You Get Older, Should You Date Women Who Want to Reconnect?

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By: Chase Amante

girls who want to reconnect
It’s been years… and now she wants to reconnect. Should you meet her? And beyond that, should you date her?

I received an email recently from a girl I hadn’t heard from in six or seven years.

I’d known her from social circle (back when I still maintained a social circle). She was skinny, fun, and cute, with an endearing California Valley girl accent (and all the expressiveness that entails). She also had that somewhat uptight air about her that can be a little off-putting but is really fun when you break through it and reach the real her.

Anyway, this was not a girl I’d hooked up with. Didn’t really have a good opportunity, and in any event I slept with other girls from that circle who were younger and didn’t have the same walls up she did. I met up with her various times in our shared social circle. Toward the end of my time in that circle, I scheduled a one-on-one meet with her but had to flake on it... and when she wanted to meet again I wasn’t able to make myself available for it. And after that we were in different cities and she fell off my radar. She was 29 years old back then.

So I got an email from her after more than half a decade, just saying she saw an event and wondered if I intended to go to it and asking if I was in town.

And the only thing I could think was, “Wow, 36 years old and still single, huh?”

Tactics Tuesdays: Conversations Where the Girl Doesn't Talk Much

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By: Chase Amante

girl doesn't talk much
Sometimes you’ll meet girls who won’t contribute to conversation. When this happens, you’ll have to step up and do the talking yourself.

One of our forum members by the name of Witcher had a few questions about deep diving, one of which was this:

“Deep diving demand[s] from the seducer to ask girls a lot of questions, How to not make It look like an interview or audition? This is the impression I have doing it and It feels a little weird.”

Of course, one of the keys to deep diving is that you not make it feel like an interview... which means past a certain number of questions, if she hasn’t begun to participate much yet, you need to turn your questions into statements. You can do this with cold reads (instead of: “What do you do for work?”, make it: “You look like either an anthropologist or an entrepreneur, I’m not sure which”). And beyond this, if she doesn’t get more involved, you will need to start to tell stories and otherwise steer the conversation with your own content.

The better your fundamentals, the faster you hook girls in... and the more likely you are to end up in conversations where girls pelt you with questions and/or open up about themselves from the get-go. Yet even if your fundamentals are in a class of their own, you will still encounter women who seem, for lack of a better term for it, ‘conversationally impaired’.

Could be she isn’t interested. Could be she’s not in a social mood. Could be she’s just a quiet person and not particularly talkative.

But if you find yourself in such a conversation, with a girl who sticks around and passes your compliance tests (so you know you’re not wasting your time on a disinterested girl), yet nevertheless doesn’t contribute, you will need another approach.

You’ll need to be able to run the conversation when the girl’s contribution is all or mostly absent.

The "I've Got to Wait for Girls to Meet Me" Thing

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By: Chase Amante

wait for her to approach
Do you wait for girls to approach you? It may be scary to approach women yourself, but waiting for them to ask first is a losing proposition.

One of the members of our forum has talked about his strategy of waiting for girls to meet him, and then spitting game at them. It doesn't seem to work well for him, since he is perpetually single and has been hung up on the same girl for over a year, hoping every time she breaks up with a boyfriend that maybe she'll pay more attention to him.

Nevertheless though, he's committed. He ignores all the advice from every other member on there and from me that he forget this girl and go meet new ones. This is his strategy, and he's decided to stick to it.

I don't think there are a lot of guys who are 100% into this strategy of “I've just got to wait for women to come meet me”, like Neal is. But there are guys who slip into this some or a lot of the time. So we should talk about it.

Because even while objectively this is about as effective as thinking, “I've just got to wait for the money to come to me,” or, “I've just got to wait until a Ferrari shows up in my driveway,” subjectively it can feel like a valid strategy at the time when you're thinking it.

But it's not a valid strategy. It's a terrible strategy.

A Day in the Life of the 21st Century Woman

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By: Chase Amante

a day in the life of a woman
What’s a normal day look like for a regular girl? Work, friends, gym, guys – lots of guys, of all kinds – and that’s just the start.

Monica’s phone alarm goes off. It’s 7:00 AM. “Ugh,” she groans. She stayed up too late to watch that stupid show again. It always seems like a great idea when she’s into it. And then it seems like dumbest, most vapid thing ever when she wakes up sleep deprived the next day. She slides her finger across the phone screen to disable the alarm, and rolls out of bed.

She shambles over to the bathroom, yanks her panties down, and plops down onto the seat. Pee hisses out. She feels relieved. She gives a few wipes, flushes the toilet, and gets up to go into the kitchen.

Breakfast... should she or shouldn’t she? She stares into her cupboard. She’s skipped it every other morning this week so far. “No breakfast” is part of her master plan to shed this light extra layer of blubber that’s crept onto her waistline. Nobody else seems to have realized she isn’t super super skinny anymore yet, but she’s realized it. Hunger overrules the desire to drop a few pounds and she pours herself a bowl of cereal. Well, at least it’s healthy cereal, she reasons. She munches on her breakfast at the table while she reads on her phone.

Looks like normal drama on her social media today. That crazy single mother Abigail in her network had posted another two-paragraph self-justification dressed up as life advice. This time she’d posted about how life is all about experience and travel and not being held back from going for the man you want. That got her a slew of likes and praise (“SO TRUE!”)... until Maria couldn’t help herself and weighed in: “That’s maybe also why 2 kids, 2 dads, still single though, right? #lifechoices.” The comments on the post exploded after that. Monica snorts out a laugh. Maria is her workmate who never held her tongue (or her punches). About 90% of the comments under Maria’s remark are other women scolding her. But Monica knows most of those women secretly hold opinions closer to Maria than to Abigail. She thinks about clicking ‘Like’ on Maria’s post, then decides she doesn’t need to get involved in that debacle.

After breakfast, she puts her bowl, spoon, and glass in the sink. There are a few days’ worth of dishes in there. Gotta clean those before they start to attract bugs, she thinks. She quick washes any milk and crumbs out of the bowl, then leaves it for a proper wash later.

She puts her hair up in a bun and takes a quick shower, using the handheld showerhead to rinse. She spends a little too long with the shower jet aimed at her clitoris. Then she moves down and rinses her legs. She gives herself a quick scrub with some soap and a pouf, then another rinse, then it’s out of the shower. She dresses herself in a neat, tidy little business-y outfit, brushes her teeth, does her hair, and grabs her purse and her duffle bag with gym clothes, then it’s out the door and off to work.

Tactics Tuesdays: "I'm Just Kidding" + Touch

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By: Chase Amante

I'm just kidding
Want to walk back a mistake, or calibrate your sexual innuendo? “I’m just kidding” + touch is the perfect tactic to let you do so.

One of the most potentially powerful lines you can add to your canned line arsenal is “I’m just kidding”... followed up by a bit of touch.

This line plus touch lets you reframe all sorts of situations. It lets you rebuild attainability in an instant with girls who were about to auto-reject you. And it can amplify a woman’s intrigued confusion.

“I’m just kidding” plus touch was a crucial part of the old seduction community “Grand Master style” (which consists of extreme sexual directness with women, right from the opener... if you’re interested in this style, let me know in the comments and I’ll do an article on it). The tactic gives you an easy way to backtrack if a chase frame or sex talk goes a little sour.

Because it’s such a powerful tactic, there’s a little nuance to it. Get that nuance down, and you have an effective means to control the flow of a conversation and the flow of the emotions within it.

The Single Guy's Guide to Starting Fresh in a New City

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By: Chase Amante

how to get started in a new city
You’ve changed towns, but you don’t know anyone. How can you get started in a new city? This guide shows you how.

You’re about to move to a completely new city... or you’ve already moved there. It’s exciting, it’s fresh, and it’s a little scary. Here is this novel metropolis where you don’t know anyone.

It could be filled with opportunity: awesome new friends, beautiful new girlfriends, delicious new food. Wondrous new places to see, riveting new activities to partake in.

Or it could be lonesome, boring, and fill you with homesickness for your old abode.

How will you know? You won’t know until you’ve been there a while. But there’s a secret most social veterans who’ve moved around a bit know: what makes a place is not so much the place itself, but the people you know there, and the things you do there.

A well-connected guy with lots of cool friends, pretty girlfriends, and fun things to do in an otherwise small and boring town will live a better, fuller, more exciting life than a lonely guy who doesn’t go out and doesn’t know anyone, even if that guy lives in the biggest, most interesting city on Earth.

So our focus is to turn you into the well-connected guy who knows lots of outstanding people and does lots of outstanding things... no matter how big or small or busy or not his new town might be.

You’re going to learn how to get started in a new city. And in particular, you’re going to learn how to do that in a way that maximizes your exposure to excellent friends, women, locations, and activities.

This articles divides into sections each of those four items (friends, women, locations, activities). You can jump around with the table of contents if you prefer to skim and don’t want to read the whole piece in a single sitting. But for the maximum new city experience, I suggest you go through the full article.

We’ll begin this article with a look at location: where in town you should go for fun, and where in town you should live.

Tactics Tuesdays: 3 Ways to Make Women Undress

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By: Chase Amante

make a woman undress
You can undress her yourself. But what if you want to make a woman undress on her own? There are 3 ways: tell her to, use barriers, and take her pants off first.

I know you’re used to the ‘standard’ way to get a new girl into bed. Bring her home, kiss her, continue to escalate on her... rub your hands up and down her, start to peel her clothes off her. She resists, you persist. Rinse and repeat until she’s naked. Then, intercourse.

Today we’ll talk about another way to do this. Rather than you be the one to take her clothes off, today’s article is about how you can make a woman undress herself.

You can use this with girlfriends and new girls alike. It can help you break through tough bouts of resistance. And it can make the escalation process a lot more fun. Tired of having her take your hands off her or stop you from disrobing her? No problem. Get her to take her clothes off herself instead.

We’ll cover three (3) different ways to do this in this article. And in my opinion, each of these is more fun than the one before it.

How to Take Care of a Girl's Appearance on Approaches & Dates

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By: Chase Amante

girl's appearance on dates
Women care about their appearances more than most men realize. Yet once you know it, you can run better dates and approaches.

In his article on approaching girls in a high energy vs. low energy state, Alek mentioned women’s tendency to put weight on how others make them look in-venue. I thought this was a great topic, and one we haven’t talked about as much as we should have. So today’s article takes that topic and explores it further.

So let’s talk about the importance women place on appearances... both how they look themselves, and how the people and environments they’re associated with make them look.

Different women place different amounts of importance on appearances. Yet everyone values appearances to one extent or another... if not always to the same degrees, or along the same dimensions.

By the end of this article, I hope you will have a better, more intuitive grasp of the importance women put on appearances. And not to worry – we’ll talk below about why this grasp is helpful to your efforts to meet, bed, and date the women you want to do that with, too.

How to Fix the "He's Not a Boyfriend" Frame

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By: Chase Amante

he's not a boyfriend
Girls will sleep with you, but they won’t date you… and you can’t figure out why. But there are 3 reasons this happens (and you can fix them all).

This article is targeted to upper-intermediate-to-advanced daters with retention problems.

For many of the readers of this website, the problem they have is acquisition, not retention. That is, they can hang onto a girl when they get her... it’s the ‘getting’ where they have difficulty. But there are some men in the opposite boat.

If you’re in the other boat, it’s no problem for you to get girls into bed. You bed new girls often enough, and are content with your sex life. The only issue is, it’d be nice if some of those girls stuck around to become girlfriends... but they don’t. They never stick around.

The common root of this problem is also the common root of their success: how utterly they disqualify themselves as boyfriends. Because they make it simple for women (“This guy is attractive, but he is not a boyfriend at all”), sex becomes much easier to get. She doesn’t have to ask herself if she risks losing a guy she’d like to keep by sleeping with him fast... because she doesn’t want to keep him.

Yet once she’s had her fun with a guy like this, it’s time to move on, because, well, she doesn’t want to keep him.

Today we’ll talk tactical fixes to the three (3) usual sources of the “he’s not a boyfriend” frame: value, attainability, and screening.

The "It's Cruel When Men Don't Stick Around After Sex" Argument

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By: Chase Amante

stick around after sex
Men don’t always stick around for a relationship after sex. Is this wrong and is there anything bad about it – or not?

On my Friday/Saturday night date post, a female commenter took issue with my advice to a male commenter that he take advantage of rebound sex to get over a harsh relationship he just came out of.

To her point, I was perhaps a little indelicate in how I suggested he do this (it was guy-to-guy talk; this is a men’s site, after all). However, she took the occasion to launch into a moral argument that casual sex hurts women, takes advantage of them, and uses and discards them like unwanted objects. Her comment arguing this is a bit long to quote (you can read her full comment here), so I’ll just quote what is the most important part to me:

“I have had conversations with girlfriends who have told me that a guy won’t go out with them if they don’t sleep with them. Women have been conditioned to feel they have to have sex, much much sooner than they would feel comfortable. We know from studies that men don’t develop the feeling of love until at least 3-6 months into the relationship, even while sleeping with a woman. What they develop are lust emotions.

Most women have given up on the idea of a man protecting them and *actually* loving them. Valor and honor and real love for another is almost absent in most dating. What you describe in your post is not love at all. It is using people for sex, using people for the thrill of feeling desires, of entertainment, but it is not love. You are incredibly insightful with how to manipulate women to get to your ultimate goal. What I am saying is that this is the opposite of what a man of valor would do. He would protect his woman from physical exploitation, not be the one to exploit her. And he is exploiting her, even if it’s with her permission, when he is trying to extract sex from her when he doesn’t even genuinely love her--- care for her best good.

It doesn’t much matter if rebound sex helps a person feel better. That doesn’t make it right. Maybe we can just numb our conscience to the point that it is dead so that we can pursue feelings of lust and pleasure without caring what is actually loving to others?”

First off, her science is wrong. Men are more romantic than women are, heal less completely from breakups than women do, experience love at first sight at nearly double the rate of women... and that immediate in-love love-at-first-sight feeling men get is not infatuation – relationships that spring from immediate in-love feelings are every bit as stable and likely to last as those that develop from slow build-ups.

But that’s beside the point.

Our commenter’s argument is that to sleep with her, then not see her again, or not engage in or want to engage in a long-term committed relationship with her is damaging to her. You hurt her, you injure her, and you just generally make her feel bad.

So is she right? Does sex minus commitment lead to a trail of broken hearts and cynical women?

The answer I’ll give you is “yes, but.” And the ‘but’ is quite important.

But we’re not ready for the ‘but’ yet. Let’s talk about the ‘yes’ first.