Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

It Doesn't Matter What She's Thinking. Stop Chasing Rabbits

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By: Chase Amante

what she's thinking
What is she thinking? Before you try to get inside her head, you must know this principle: taking action trumps reading minds.

We talk about female psychology a good deal on Girls Chase. At the meta level, it’s supremely helpful to know how women tick and what goes on in their heads.

However, today, we’re going to look at the granular level. The “what is this one individual girl thinking?” level. We’ll start with part of a comment by Girls Chase reader SZ:

“I was also hoping you could explain this interaction to me, I try to be a warm person, but people don’t become warm, they’re cold. I was at the gym, This girl I saw was nice to me and asked me how I was, I told her and asked her the same, I looked at her a few times while we worked out nothing too much, just to check her out, then when I was leaving I said bye to her and she had headphones in, but I felt she heard me, I waited there for a response, then she gave me this attitude way of saying bye, like she was too cool for me. It was like a look of “oh please, I’m too cool for you attitude”. It threw me off because I didn’t make it obvious I looked at her a few times, I didn’t try to ask her out, I made sure she didn’t see me look at her here and there. I was cool, so I don’t understand the coyness. I was just being a man and looking at a girl, I don’t know if she saw me check her out, so I don’t know if that was the reason she acted like that.”

So, a girl started off seemingly nice to him. Then ended up seemingly cool toward him. What happened, and what does it mean? Well...

  • It could be she wanted him to flirt with her more and ask her out, he didn’t, and she was disappointed.

  • It could be she was just being polite earlier, and in truth didn’t want to encourage him any more than she needed to.

  • It could be she started off her workout in a sociable mood, but by the end of it she was focused on music and exercise and ‘tuned out’ socially, so just seemed cold.

Maybe it’s none of these, and it’s something else entirely.

The thing is, with an individual woman, in an individual situation, you will not know what she is thinking.

You may have guesses. And sometimes your guesses will be correct. Sometimes they’ll be wholly, completely, laughably wrong, though.

Which brings us to our primary point today: it doesn’t matter what she’s thinking right there, this very moment. Stop worrying about what she’s thinking. Get focused on results, and stop chasing after rabbits.

Tactics Tuesdays: Girl Blinders

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By: Chase Amante

girl blinders
Do you want to talk to a girl, but there’re people around and you feel unconfident? Put on ‘girl blinders’, and make your audience disappear.

You’re out in public. Could be on the train, on a street, in a bar, in a café, in a grocery store. You see a cute girl. She gives you a coy glance and you think she’d like to meet.

Only then... you take a glance yourself at all the people around you. There are a lot of them. If you approach that girl, they’ll notice.

You’ve never spoken to these people before. Odds are good you won’t see any of them again. Yet, they’ve immediately become the biggest obstacle to your approach. You may not even talk to this girl you’d like to meet, who looks like she’d like to meet you. All because there are people around, and you’re hesitant to approach in front of an audience.

There’s a simple little trick to get around this specific fear.

I call it ‘girl blinders’.

When Women "Don't Count" Guys They've Slept with Before

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By: Chase Amante

guy didn't count
Some guys just don’t ‘count’ for women. They can hook up with them, date them… and yet, the guys still don’t count. Why do women do this, and how can you be a ‘doesn’t count’ guy yourself?

There was a thing I set out to do early on in my journey into seduction. I couldn’t then have put it into words. But I knew what it looked like. I wished:

  • To be a guy women pined for, instead of the one doing the pining

  • To be able to walk into a room and seduce the woman I wanted

  • Women to expect nothing from me yet desire me just the same

  • Women to be genuinely surprised if I chose to keep them as girlfriends

  • To be a man the normal rules of dating did not apply to

There are different ways to name this. One might be to say I wanted all the power in the male-female courtship dynamic. The power to choose, seduce, and decide. And sure, you could say that was true. But that’s true of most people. Most people – men and women alike – look for ways to increase their power in the courtship dance. They want to be more liked, more loved, more adored; to better be able to pick and choose the mates they want, and captures those mates’ hearts and minds.

Another way to name what I wanted, though, was to be a guy who ‘didn’t count’.

The phrase ‘doesn’t count’ can apply to lots of things. However, the way women usually use it when talking about men they’ve had romantic involvements with is to describe men they want to erase from their histories: “He didn’t count.” “That guy didn’t count.” “Oh, Jim? He doesn’t count.”

That was the guy I wanted to be.

The one who ‘didn’t count’.

How to Turn Girls You've Slept with into Friends

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By: Chase Amante

girlfriends into friends
How do you turn a girl you’ve slept with into a friend? There are a few rules to follow – but also some pitfalls you must avoid.

Just dug an old topic out of my ‘topic ideas’ grab bag. A member of the Girls Chase forums, some years back, asked another member:

“You mentioned keeping these girls around as friends. Would you recommend this for women I’ve already slept with and hung out with for a bit? If so, how would you make that transition?”

... and that member responded:

“This is beyond my level. Maybe chase can shine some light on this topic. How to turn girls you’ve slept with into friends. Article worthy?”

I went into details in my response on that thread, but I’d like to explore the topic more today. How do you turn a girl you’ve slept with into a friend?

I’ve done it several times (I’ll explain why not more than that below), and it is eminently doable. However, there are some nuances involved in it you will have to keep in mind... to not have it blow up in your face, one way or another.

Tactics Tuesdays: 5 Ways to 'Assume the Sale' with Girls

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By: Chase Amante

assume the sale dating
You know she likes you, but want to avoid resistance when you ask her to do something? Don’t give her the chance to resist. Assume the sale instead.

"Assume the sale."

It's one of the most recognizable sales mantras. Don't ask the prospect if he wants to buy. Assume he does. Then proceed under that assumption.

This advice has long made the rounds in seduction circles as well.

It's good advice, when timed well and calibrated to the girl and the scenario.

When you 'assume the sale' with an interested woman, you aren't jumping the gun heedlessly, of course. You don't assume "Well, she said 'hello' to me, so now I can take her hand and lead her to the washroom" (what you can do when she says 'hello' to you? Assume attraction). Rather than jump any guns, instead you read a girl's signs of interest and when you can tell she's probably ready for something, you just assume she is... and lead.

That's all well and good. If you don't have any sales training though, how do you do this?

Today's Tactics Tuesdays post arms you with five (5) different ways to assume the sale with women - all you have to do pick the method most suitable for your girl and your situation, and apply.

A Man's Girl Mix and His Jadedness

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By: Chase Amante

girl mix
The mix of girls you’ve dated and slept with informs your opinions of women. Different girl mixes can lead to very different thoughts about women.

As you make your way through life, and particularly as you make your way through seduction, you will discover different men at varying levels of ‘jaded’.

There are romantically inexperienced men who are incredibly optimistically naïve about women. There are romantically inexperienced men who are incredibly pessimistically naïve about women. Like all views formed from a distance, these are unrealistic views, punctured by the first few experiences with women in the flesh.

Once a man begins to accumulate romantic experience, his views on women shift toward the middle. The optimist discovers women are not as pure as he’d thought; the pessimist discovers women are not so devious as he’d feared.

Yet, from this intermediate middle point, as men accumulate still more sexual and romantic experience, their views diverge again.

All experienced men’s views on women are ‘realistic’. Yet the tenor of the views can differ wildly from man to man. They range from the experienced man who thinks women are sometimes tricky but mostly sweet, to the experienced man who thinks every woman is a siren, luring men who fall off their guards for even a moment to the rocks.

There’s one single, easy way to predict how jaded about women a man with some experience under his belt will be, though: look at the mix of women he’s been with.

Tactics Tuesdays: Quick Yes-Ladders to Smash Resistance

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By: Chase Amante

yes-ladderOne of the biggest obstacles with women is resistance.

If a girl gives you no resistance, you can do whatever you want with her, right?

“Come with me,” and she goes with you. Great. “Spin around, show me your dress,” and she spins. “Let’s head somewhere a little more private,” and she heads there with you. “Take your shirt off,” and she does. Perfect.

Yet the courtship dance is built on resist-persist. She resists, you persist. She resists, you persist. This ‘persistence testing’ women do is a way for them to vet your confidence and romantic aptitude. And confidence and romantic aptitude are signals to a woman of your mate quality. The more confident you are, and the more you know how to handle whatever she throws your way, the higher caliber a mate she judges you to be.

For this reason, handling resistance is one of the big things you must be able to do to get the women you want.

Today we’ll look at one quick, simple resistance-buster that lets you carve through moderate resistance from otherwise interested women: the quick 2-to-4-step flirtatious yes-ladder.

One Date Is Back - Get Your Copy Now

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By: Chase Amante

All right gentlemen... One Date and The Dating Artisan is available once more. We've reopened the doors!

If you're just tuning in, One Date/TDA is my mega course, condensing everything I've taught on Girls Chase into one distilled learning path.

Have Men Become Disposable in Dating?

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By: Chase Amante

disposable dating
Have social media and dating apps made modern dating disposable? Not quite – the problem goes back farther than them, to mid-20th Century “throw-away culture.”

Two months back, a reader asked the following question:

“Hey Chase could you possible do an article discussing whether men are disposable due to online services like Tinder & Co.? I mean when a man doesn’t put out a good performance on date, a woman can just say “next!” and go on Tinder for more endless matches. I currently feel that way and I thought another perspective man bring some fresh air.”

It’s a pertinent question... although not as new of one as apps like Tinder might suggest.

American society (dating apps like Tinder originate from America too) has been accused as far back as 1955 as being a ‘throwaway society’. We have articles on the American habit of throwing away too much; articles that accuse corporations of being at least partly to blame, building things not to last or to become obsolete so consumers pay to upgrade to more recent versions. Other discussions focus on the abundance of material goods in our society, which by extension causes us to devalue those same goods.

This isn’t limited only to the economy and material wealth, either.

There are articles all over the Internet about disposable dating culture. Here’s an article that talks about disposable dating in New York and San Francisco. Here’s a blog post from a woman who talks about ‘recycling’ all the men she’s dated back into the dating pool. Here’s a more general one that discusses how to know if you’ve been in a ‘disposable relationship’.

You could make an argument that some portion of Girls Chase philosophy treats dating relationships like disposable goods. The recommendation to replace rather than chase assumes romantic partners are substitutable goods, and you can ditch one and get another one. The basis behind the advice in articles like “Can’t Stop Thinking About Her” and “Just Friends: A Man’s Worst Nightmare” is this too. I strongly recommend these articles and the perspectives in them, of course; they are necessary tools for navigating the romantic terrain in any developed, urbanized society. However, they reflect upon the nature of dating in a society like that as well as they teach how to navigate it.

Dating apps (like Tinder, Bumble, and Bagel Meets Coffee) ultimately are just the latest iteration of this modern American approach to personal relationships.

But is our approach these days truly disposable? Is it so only with men, or with women too? And if dating has become disposable, how much of online dating and social media is the culprit?

3 Ways to Use Sexual Misinterpretation with Girls

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By: Chase Amante

sexual misinterpretation
Sexual misinterpretation lets you turn your conversations fun and sexual in a snap. There are 3 ways to use misinterpretation: softball, standard, and tease.

Ever notice how some men are able to seamlessly sexualize their conversations with women?

How even as a guy when you talk to these guys things unfailingly turn sexual? Sex jokes; sexual topics; everything is sex, sex, sex. How do they do it... and further, how can you do it, with girls?

Sexual misinterpretation and sexual reinterpretation are how you steer your conversation down sexual alleys even when there was little or nothing openly sexual about the conversation before you took the wheel.

These are unique strategies that require certain mental focuses to make work, a certain degree of on-your-feet thinking, and a dash of humor. If you can pull them off though, you gain a new superpower: the ability to make any conversation you have with a woman a sexual one.

This is crucial for tactics like chase framing and sex talk. And it's just lots of fun in general.

Before we get to the outward mechanicals of reinterpretation, we're going to start with the inner foci you need to make the magic happen.