This year I’ve been busy; really busy. I perform standup seven nights a week, I’m in law school, and I’m a powerlifter. This shortage of spare time has meant I’ve had to change how I approach getting new women in my life.
I’m sure being busy is something that many of you can relate to. That’s why I’ve written this post, which will tell you the best ways to integrate meeting beautiful women into your busy schedule.
You’re with a group of three girls you’ve just met at a nightclub, and you’ve really hit it off with one of the girls, this girl Ava. She’s cute, perky, and a whole lot of fun.
Suddenly, you’re yanked out of an engrossed conversation with Ava by a fracas nearby; one of the other girls in the group, Miria, is shouting at one of the nightclub’s bouncers.
First the other friend jumps in.
Then your girl, Ava, jumps in too.
You hang on the sidelines, unsure what to do.
You could feel it’d been going pretty well with Ava, and you thought you stood a pretty solid chance to pull her home tonight.
The argument between the girls and the bouncer end, with the bouncer telling Ava and the other friend that they need to keep Miria on a leash or he’s going to boot them out.
Ava and the two girls debate among each other, emotionally fraught. Finally, Ava turns back to you and says, “Sorry, I think we’re just going to leave.”
“It’s okay, I understand,” you say calmly. You aren’t sure exactly how to react, but you decide to play it cool and do your best to look unfazed. “Let’s trade cells so we can connect later on.”
“I’m really not in trading-numbers mood right now,” she says, “Sorry. I just want to go home.”
Then, she turns away, and her and her two friends take off.
Them’s the shakes, right?
Could it have gone any differently?
It could have – had you paced her reality, instead of freezing in the headlights.
I hear too much garbage in the pickup community from guys who do not know what they are talking about in regards to game; too many beginners with good marketing skills, charlatans who want your money, or guys with good skill but who do not understand what it is they are doing that is actually helping them out and pointing at some obscure technique they think is the one true key to success. Well this is the no bars guide to what will get you good with women in the shortest period of time.
What I am going to review here is once and for all what will and will not help you. And once we know what is helpful diving into each point, you may better harness your learning curve and make massive gains in regards to your abilities with women.
I have found each of these present in everyone with massive success with women, and if you take them seriously you too can have the same skills as even the most wildly talented seducers.
Are you interested? Are you on the edge of your seat? I hope so. Now, what should you focus on and what will waste your time?
In Mao Zedong’s communist China, in the late 1940s, a new approach to encourage ‘right-thinking’ emerged, termed xǐ năo, which means “wash brain”. This washing of the brain was designed to scrub out bad thoughts and ideas, freeing the now-cleansed brain to think about things ‘correctly’.
The term ‘brainwash’ entered the English vernacular in the early 1950s and became a dreaded boogeyman during the Cold War era. 1962’s The Manchurian Candidate made brainwashing the subject of a popular film, and in 1974 the United States’ own mind control program, dubbed MKUltra, came partly to light (though only after the CIA destroyed most of the project’s records a year earlier).
Chinese brainwashing and American reprogrammed assassins are interesting examples, but they’re just new takes on an age-old principle, one that’s been a central tenet of states, religions, rites of passage, and social groups of all shapes, colors, and sizes, since time immemorial.
That principle is at work in everything you see, read, listen to, or debate.
It’s even at work right now as you read this page.
That principle, of course, is that every message you let into your eyes or ears informs your worldview and alters your mental model ever so slightly... or sometimes so much.
And if you’re not careful about whom you let play switchboard operator in your brain, you may end up with a set of beliefs about the world that lead you all kinds of places you’d rather not go.
Hi there. I hope everyone is doing well. Today we are focusing more on some theoretical stuff and less on beginner material.
This post is fit for everyone practicing cold approach pick up (the most exciting form of pick up, in my opinion).
I have in the past already discussed social momentum quite a few times already. Today we will also discuss momentum, but look at it from a different perspective: from a macro perspective.
Social momentum (micro) - discussed previously - covered how you felt; your emotional state when out meeting women. Positive social momentum could help one get laid, as he will not only feel more like interacting with strangers, but also be more comfortable doing so. When you have (micro) social momentum, you feel like an unbeatable god, as you:
Approach more women, feeling on fire
Have bigger balls and are bold in your approach, as you don't really care all that much about rejections
You will in many cases be more high energy and hook more girls (as you will come across as more exciting) - the pitfall here is that you will have to tone it down when getting into "seduction mode" (unless you want to end up being perceived as a dancing monkey)
You will feel more confident
If you have been out in the field a few times, you have probably already reached this type of momentum. I will not cover "how you get there" in this post, as I have covered this aspect already a few times. If you need advice on how to reach social momentum, then check out these post:
Yesterday I responded to a post on our forum about succeeding with girls in the 19- to 23-years-old range from a guy in his mid-30s who noted he does fine with women over 23 but struggles to get anywhere with younger gals. I wanted to flesh this one out a bit more and make it a proper post.
If you’ve been following the site for a while, you probably remember I tackled younger women in this post, about three years ago (has it been that long? Wow...):
“Attracting and Dating Younger Women”
However, that was a more involved post, with a lot of research, psychology, explanation, and discussion of not only the initial seduction but the ongoing relationship too.
This post will be a more tactical one, and one specifically aimed at how to pick up younger women, particularly in the late teens / early 20s age range that’s so easy for some guys... and so problematic for others.
“Hey, so I know I’m being super persistent about all this, but I want to let you know that I’m just having fun and if you really want to go to the concert, you can have the ticket back and I’ll leave ya alone.”
I hold the ticket out, open my body language, bow my head, and smile at her.
She smiles back submissively, shakes her head, and tells me that it’s okay and she’s enjoying herself.
My smile turns into a devilish one, I grab her hand, walk into my house, and bring her to my bedroom.
She sits on the bed and I sit in my computer chair. I scoot the chair close to her and put my hands on her thighs as I lean in and taste her lips.
Between every few kisses she tells me that she should go, or that she shouldn’t be doing this. I then back off lightly and tell her to stay and we begin kissing more, some that she initiates, even after telling me she should go.
Several caveats about this article:
This is reasonably advanced game. Don’t do it just yet if you’re new
This is not ‘all the time’ game. It should not be your staple or go-to method
I don’t advise you use it with girls you’re really into; it probably won’t work
Okay, so, this is a way to make a girl chase I generally call “putting her on the hook.” It’s where she’s hooked, she wants to see you, she’s excited to see you, and then you just... leave her there.
But not too long. Not long enough for attraction to expire or escalation windows to close. Thus, why it’s fairly advanced: you must be able to gauge where she’s at emotionally to use this style.
Then, once she’s ‘ripe’, you reel her in for a very straightforward date where you don’t really need to do anything more than kick back, hang out, and hook up.
If that sounds pretty good to you, then read on.
This is Part II of my introductory series on how I went from being a lonely fat guy
to a guy who now enjoys all the success with women he wants. If you
have not read the first article yet, I urge you to read that one, then
come back here.
There were highs and there were definitely even more lows during my
journey to mastering the skill to attract women into my life. It would
be impossible to count how many times I got shot down. No matter what
results I was getting, I believed deep inside that this was a skill I
could learn. You have to believe the
same of yourself.
There are studies on people that either have a growth or a limiting mindset. If you do not believe in your own ability to grow and change yourself, then you will miss out on lessons and opportunities to do so.
One thing I did right with learning how to pick up women was that I took everything one step at a time. I must have spent nearly a year just learning how to approach women and start a conversation while managing my fears.
From there I was constantly working on building attraction with my body language and conversation. I worked on that for another couple of years. Every part of interacting with and attracting women I learned one piece at a time. It is very easy to get overwhelmed with this stuff.
On this site alone you have all the resources you need to learn everything from approaching girls cold, to making meaningful relationships. However, depending on where you are at specifically, it doesn’t help to skip ahead.
There are, in romance, three kinds of men.
And before any of these three kinds of men is truly free to care
about the women in his life and the others around him, he must make an
inner journey that forces him to face his demons and let go of his
fears of where these lead.
We all, in our own ways, search for a kind of absolution.
When we are young we expect that to come in the form of young love. Movies overwhelmingly portray it as “the happiest ending possible”, so why not? Some choose that path and succeed, some choose it and feel inadequate for doing so, and some choose to walk away from it (as I did).
But the complexities do not end there, and the human condition is fraught with astounding complexity and specificity for each and every one of us. Our lives are all set to a very unique mould, and no two are exactly alike. However, there are some things that are unilateral in their own quirky ways and I hope to share a few tips about life.
In my next article after this one I will describe two paths: one of the guy who chooses teen love, the other who doesn’t and walks another path. However, in this article I’m going to start by shortly describing another path and then afterwards share some techniques it uncovers.
