Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad | Girls Chase
  1. Articles by Author
  2. Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Why Are Women So Ambiguous? 3 Feminine Reasons

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

the riddle of womenWomen can be pretty vague and confusing. Why are they so ambiguous in word and deeds? Three words: safety, flexibility, and POWER.

Hey guys. Welcome back. I hope you are all doing great.

Today, I’ll share a theory on female communication to clarify a question many men have: Why are women often ambiguous?

Why do they rarely give clear-cut answers? Why do they act so ambiguous about their interests? Why is it always a “maybe”?

“Get to the point!” is a line I hear frustrated men say to women. Yes, I have also been guilty of saying something along these lines to women, or I think it to myself.

Women convey “maybe” for many reasons. You hear her say: “Maybe we can meet on Monday,” “Maybe I love you,” or “Maybe we should do X.”

Aside from the “maybe,” which is a word that conveys ambiguity, sometimes, women’s behavior is ambiguous. They may show mixed signals or seem not to make up their minds. It gets frustrating. You want an answer, either “YES” or “NO.”

So, why do many women do that

For starters, women DO make up their minds and ARE decisive—in non-social settings. In professional settings, I rarely encounter this.

You may be asking: Is this indecisiveness due to biology? Perhaps. Biological factors are likely to be indirectly causing this. A nurturing nature, societal treatment, and how women are socialized have conditioned women to act like this, especially toward men.

I do not think it is due to irrationality. A fallacy you may have heard is that this behavior is due to women only being driven by emotions and that they are incapable of logically making up their minds. It’s a flawed (and honestly, sexist) stereotype about women being irrational.

Why does this fallacy exist? It’s a projection of male logic.

Fending Off Guys Who Want Your Girl (WITHOUT Looking Possessive!)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

outshine rivals effortlesslyWhen you’re out with girls, other men may try to steal them away. Your mission: to fend such men off without giving up power by looking jealous or needy.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

I intended to conclude my series of posts on giving a girl space and allowing her the opportunity to opt out last week, delving deeper into this concept. However, after finishing the article, I realized there is still more to discuss.

The overall idea is to refrain from acting possessive and locking the woman to you, leaving her few escape routes (through positioning or overt physical moves). It’s better to ensure that she has a way out. This is not because you want her to leave, quite the opposite. When a woman realizes she has a possible escape route, it generates comfort, which makes her more willing to stick around. It makes the interaction less risky for her due to her risk-averse nature (women tend to be more risk-averse than men). The bonus is that she will be more willing to jump into less certain and riskier situations, such as going home with you. This technique conveys attractiveness, non-neediness, and abundance: all attractive and desirable traits.

Last week, I discussed how this fits as a typical rule of pickup and seduction. If you look rationally at it, you intuitively feel the interaction is off and should favor following the rules. What if there is plenty of male competition, and she has attractive guys hitting on her, trying to snatch her out of your arms? Should you still act aloof? Should you make it easy for her to opt out, escape, and go to other men? You do not want that to happen. So, your instinctive urge is to become protective and possessive. You want to block those other men to keep them away. Yet, by doing so, you push her farther away from you by eliciting a desire for her to jump ship. She feels smothered, and you appear less attractive due to your neediness. So, you inadvertently give those men an edge.

So, you follow the rule, giving her space to leave. Often, she will stay. Perhaps it was a test, and you easily passed it, or you appear more attractive to her by acting less needy and especially less so than other guys.

Yet, there is no denying that there will be cases when this is insufficient to keep other men at a distance. Then, what do you do?

This is what I want to cover today.

Giving Girls 'Outs' During Seduction: Nuance & Instincts

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

when she feels safe to say no, she'll say yesGiving girls “outs” during a seduction is essential to maintaining comfort and buy-in. But what’s the nuance – and what when your gut says “don’t do it?”

Hey guys and welcome back.

I have been discussing the importance of giving the girl you are interacting with some space. This means allowing her an exit route to increase her comfort level. By doing so, she feels more at ease, which can lead to her becoming more compliant and willing to follow your lead.

Last week, I discussed this concept and gave examples by applying it to different contexts, such as during the hooking, isolation, escalation, and extraction phases.

Today, I will sum up this theory and get more conceptual by refining it further. It is usually better to give your girl a chance to opt out. However, like anything within pickup and seduction, there are exceptions and details to consider. This does not mean there are no general rules to follow, but like any generalities, there are times you should deviate.

After all, seduction is a social science and, some would say, an art, and there is room for exceptions. This post will cover situations when the rule of giving her a chance to opt out does not apply and it is better to “lock her to you.”

But before I get into that, I’ll recap the theory of giving a girl space, providing more details. Then, I will discuss the scenarios in which this theory may not apply.

Raising Your Odds to Pull Girls & Close via Giving Them "Outs"

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

building comfort for the next stepEven as you extract a woman home to your place or hers, you can leave her “outs” – which serve to raise her comfort, thus lowering her resistance.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Recently, I have been talking about the importance of giving a girl space and allowing her to opt out of interactions. This approach helps build trust and reduces her perceived risk. Knowing she can opt out at any moment gives her the freedom to leave if the situation becomes uncomfortable. This sense of security increases her comfort, making her more likely to engage, as she knows she can exit if necessary.

It’s especially beneficial to give a girl ease of opting out when she needs to make a decision with an increased risk perception, like isolating or going home with you.

Today, I’ll cover how this technique can help you during extraction as you leave the venue with her and head to your place.

Note that I mention “your place.” She perceives going to her place as safer because it’s familiar. Your place is new and unknown, and that’s always scarier because of the uncertainty. For this reason, this post will generally focus on getting her back to your place.

By all means, go back to her place if you can. Overall, my experience has been that going to her place is ideal. Aside from practical reasons, such as not having to clean your place beforehand, another advantage is that she automatically relaxes in her own environment, which can cause less resistance.

The question is, why not always go to her place? Note that this poses challenges, too. There may be unfamiliar logistics: she could have roommates, share a place with a guy, live far away, or random people might show up. Those wildcards, although unlikely, can still happen.

The main reason I prefer heading to my place instead is that it usually requires lower compliance to accomplish. Getting a girl to go home with you, whether it’s her place or yours, is a challenging task requiring plenty of compliance. So, you want to opt for the solution requiring the least compliance—taking her back to your place.

You usually need to generate more compliance to take you back to her place than getting her to go to yours. She feels more responsible and guilty about what might happen when she brings you home. She has tacitly agreed to have sex or at least actively has a hand in what is about to happen. When she goes to your place, she is acting more passively.

Remember, women usually prefer taking a passive role due to social conditioning. Slut-shaming and other negative sexual conditioning can make her avoid a sense of guilt regarding what is about to happen. By tagging along with you as you head to your place, usually with an excuse like, “Let’s go back to my place and continue our conversation.” This takes away her guilt. Yes, she realizes why you are inviting her back, but this plausible deniability lets her feel less pressure.

Give Girls "Escape Routes" When You Isolate Them (+Comfort)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

open exits, open trustAs things progress with a girl, you’ll want to get her isolated. Once you do, however, to make it go smooth, you must ensure she feels she has an “out”!

Welcome back.

In the last few weeks, I’ve discussed giving a girl space to opt out and allowing exit routes to build comfort. The idea is to help her feel she can leave any time if things are not to her liking. The purpose is to reassure her. If she knows she can easily leave, your girl will be more likely to go with things, viewing them as less risky.

The idea is not to make her flee but to make her feel as if she can. The result? More often than not, she will stay. If she does not, she would have left anyway. So, it is a win-win.

Today, we will discuss how this applies to isolation and extraction.

Giving Girls "Room to Escape" When Positioning Yourself in a Seduction

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

positioning for connectionWhere and how you position yourself relative to a woman can make or break your seduction. Many guys try to “block women in” & cut off their exits. YOU want to do the OPPOSITE.

Last week, I discussed the importance of giving a girl the opportunity to opt out at any time, giving her a way to exit so she feels she may leave at any time.

The idea is not to motivate her to leave—quite the contrary. You want to make her feel secure. If she feels she has an easy way out, without consequences, you won’t get angry or create bad vibes; she will feel much more comfortable sticking with you.

In practice, she should always have an opportunity to exit, whether that’s your place, the conversation, or the venue, but she is likely to do so with good feelings about you when you make her feel more comfortable.

If you’d like empirical facts about how this works, consider any Girls Chase product you may have bought or similar products. You may be initially skeptical, especially if unfamiliar with the provider. They typically offer an option to unsubscribe anytime or a money-back guarantee. And those who provide this are confident with their product, meaning they know you will like it and won’t “leave” or “unsubscribe.” They gain the benefit of trust.

You may notice that those who offer no money back or ask you to commit usually do so because they are afraid to lose you. Often, it is because the product is substandard, and the only way to keep you is to lock you in. Yes, you will get mad when you dislike the service or product, but on their end, they at least got to cash in X amount, which is a success for them, considering you wouldn’t have stuck around anyway.

Good products offer a way out or a money-back guarantee. That’s not to say all products or services that do this are good, but all good products usually provide this.

So, if it’s a good product (an attractive guy; if you are not, become one), it allows you to use the same technique to establish trust.

Today, I’ll give practical tips you can use in your interactions to build more comfort. I’ll discuss other benefits of using this concept, too.

Leaving a Girl an "Out" in Your Seductions

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

freedom fosters attractionWomen relax more into seductions when they feel they have an “out.” Make her feel free to opt out, and you’re far more likely to get her opting in.

Hey guys and welcome back. This is the first installment in a new series on leaving women “escape routes” in your seductions.

Today, I’ll discuss something I mentioned a few weeks ago in my indirect game series in the article “Do Girls Know You’re Hitting on Them When You Are?” During indirect game, it is not about whether or not she has good reasons to think you like her, but that whatever interests you is never truly “officialized” (made explicit) until you know that she is ready to say yes and her compliance levels are high.

Being explicit about your interest level and “officializing” your connection places her in a position where she either has to accept or reject your advances. If her interest is too low, she will resist. However, if the interest is not “official,” she will not feel forced to decide whether she accepts your advances. More importantly, she does not need to make her response explicit to you, as she can easily maneuver her way out if you turn out to be a creep. If she doesn’t know you, this is a possibility in her mind.

Who Is Really the Chaser in a Good Seduction?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

the dating chase dynamicA good seduction consists of a man enticing a woman and creating desire inside her for him. But with him doing all this, is he the chaser — or is it her?

Hey guys and welcome back.

In the past few weeks, I have covered indirect game. This form of seduction is when one withholds interest in a girl until she warms up and shows interest (unless she is interested from the start). I discussed all dimensions of indirect game, including how one should display interest (yes, one still should show interest when running indirect game), how much disinterest to display, and how to do it. I also have many posts about calibration to assist with indirect game.

Today, I will discuss a commonly debated subject that many men ask themselves:

“If the goal is to make a woman chase, so I appear to be the prize, how does this make sense if I am the approacher and the one trying to get her to bed? Am I not, by default, the one chasing her?”

It’s a great question.

Do Girls Know You’re Hitting on Them When You Are?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

is she guessing your moves?When you chat up a girl, does she realize you’re hitting on her? If not… how obvious must you be for her to “get the picture” that you like her?

Hey guys and welcome.

I have recently finished my series on the indirect approach, discussing the many mechanisms at play, covering displaying interest and disinterest, and how to do it. So, today, I’ll turn to a theoretical question many men ask:

Why go indirect and “hide” your true interest in her when she already knows why you are hitting on her?

I will tackle this question below.

How Much Interest vs. Disinterest Should You Show Girls?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

calibrating disinterest in the fieldHow much interest or disinterest should you show a girl to fully attract her? It depends on the girl and the situation. You will just have to CALIBRATE.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Recently, I have been discussing indirect game, when one approaches a girl indirectly, withholding interest to initiate communication more safely. The benefits of this approach can lower a woman’s guard and avoid triggering unnecessary rejections. Most women reject men because they want to protect themselves from being stuck with a guy they do not consider attractive, so indirect game can help avoid these situations.

Why? The girl does not perceive you as hitting on her explicitly.

But wait, you are an attractive, confident guy! You are smart, decently wealthy, cool, social, nice; the list goes on. However, all your positive traits are irrelevant because she does NOT know you when you approach. So, unless she picks up on cues that signify attractive traits (like social proof) before you approach (and it is not a given that she will notice), or you happen to be her type, she may not give you a chance. Approaching indirectly allows you to buy time and provides an opportunity to convey those traits—yes, you are an attractive guy she can envision hooking up with.

Unlike direct approaches, when it is all or nothing, with indirect game, things are ambiguous, giving you more playing room. She doesn’t feel forced to accept or reject you, so you can convey your attractive personality, guiding her opinion of you to favorable and even feeling “I really want this guy!”

And, the more interest she shows, the more interest you can show her in return because, eventually, you should show some interest.

The question then becomes: how much interest should you show her when the time is right? As much as her? More than her? Less than her?

That is the question I will tackle in this article.