Sexual Disgust: How Do You Get Past It (and Should You)?

A week back, on an article where I discuss a girlfriend who'd been with three men before (two boyfriends + a guy she hoped would be a boyfriend but who turned out to already have a girlfriend, unbeknownst to her), a reader commented:

Chase, I've worked hard for not feeling insecure about the girl's past. What i still do feel though, is disgust. With no intentions of insulting your girlfriend, if i had a girl like that with a past like that I'd feel utter disgust. While that girl may be considered a unicorn in ur country, i feel utter disgust. any tips on overcoming this disgust and being too damning on women??

What he's talking about is sexual disgust.

Sexual disgust is a natural - though not absolutely ubiquitous - phenomenon that occurs among both women and men. You'll see it the most by far with sexually inexperienced individuals; the more sexually experienced someone gets, the less sexual disgust is an issue for him. We'll discuss more on this below.

I want to discuss it with some sensitivity in this article, as any time the topic comes up it tends to provoke polarized responses from all sides. People low in sexual disgust regard as Puritanical those with higher sexual disgust; those high in sexual disgust view as degenerate those with lower sexual disgust.

Instead, in this piece, we'll aim for practicality:

• What is sexual disgust?
• Why do people have it?
• How do you overcome it?
• Should you overcome it... and if so to what degree?

All, I think, are worthwhile explorations. Let's have a look at each.

 

Why Do People Experience Sexual Disgust?

There's next to no one on the planet who experiences NO sexual disgust whatsoever.

No matter how inured to weird sexual situations someone is, and how broadly he's personally sampled of the stranger sexual fetishes, you can probably find something that will still recoil him in sexual revulsion.

What differentiates people is the DEGREE to which they experience sexual disgust, and what triggers it:

• What acts elicit it?
• With what partners?
• In what situations?

There's a huge range of degree in all these.

For example:

• You get the guy who's disgusted with any girl who's not a virgin
• You get the guy who can handle a girl having had sex, but can't handle hearing about it
• You get guys who are fine with girls up to girls of a certain partner count or types of sex acts
• You get guys who are fine with everything so long as the girl is attractive
• You get guys who are fine with everything so long as the girl is a girl
• You get guys who are fine with everything so long as it looks like a girl (i.e., trannies)
• You get guys who are fine with everything so long as it's a human of reproductive age (i.e., bisexuals)

Then you'd get guys who are fine with animals on top of all that as probably being the least sexual disgust-having of individuals. That Seattle resident Mr. Hands, who died from a perforated colon while taking it up the butt from a horse he and his gay-horse buddies nicknamed 'Big Dick', probably would score near zero on a sexual disgust test, if I had to wager (although who knows... maybe his butt puckered for horses but humans revolted him. Sexual disgust works weirdly).

Start getting to plants or fungi or inanimate objects and it's no longer an animal with a hole you insert anything into and sexual disgust doesn't factor in as much. A guy might have high sexual disgust but still be fine with a Fleshlight or sex doll or rubbing one out in an apple pie.

Sexual disgust appears to be an intrinsic moral dimension. It aligns with the 'purity' dimension from Jonathan Haidt's Moral Foundations Theory, so much so that you can use someone's sexual disgust score to predict all his scores on a Moral Foundations quiz except for fairness/reciprocity.

In fact, you can use an individual's sexual disgust score to predict whether he's more likely to align to the left or right politically. One study found that people with higher sexual disgust scores are more likely to lean right politically; lower sexual disgust scores lead to left-leaning politics. During the 2016 American presidential election, every additional unit increase in sexual disgust increased the odds an individual voted for Donald Trump by 30%.

Sexual disgust scores are strongly linked with short-term mating strategies: the lower one's sexual disgust, the more likely one is to engage in casual sex.

They've even linked sexual disgust scores to dating apps; a 2018 study found that the lower your sexual disgust score was, the more likely you were to be on Tinder. (in women, sexual disgust wasn't a causative factor; instead, the causative factor, like nearly everything else in women's sexual behavior, was a woman's sociosexual orientation; just like partner counts and infidelity, sociosexual orientation determines mating strategy, likelihood to be on Tinder, and levels of sexual disgust)

As Moral Foundations appear to be intrinsic and genetic, it seems likely sexual disgust is... at least to the extent it exists prior to introducing sexual experience.

 

What's the Purpose of Sexual Disgust?

Disgust is a protective emotion designed to keep us away from things we fear might harm us.

Disgust around sex acts, or attached to prospective sexual partners, seems to be a safeguard against:

1. Sexually transmitted diseases
2. Loss of face / humiliation from reputation-damaging encounters
3. Threats to self-identity from certain kinds of sexual encounters
4. Fear of opening oneself up to / changing oneself through an encounter
5. Fear of falling into an undesirable / incompatible relationship through a sexual encounter

So for instance, if you're a pretty normal straight dude, and you ask yourself, "Would I like to shag a tranny right in the neo-vagina?" you will probably feel some sense of revulsion, likely tied to all five of those metrics:

1. Transsexuals have sky-high STD rates
2. If it gets out you shagged a tranny it'll affect how people see you
3. If you shag a tranny, can you still consider yourself 'a straight man'?
4. If you shag a tranny and like it, will you ever be the same after that?
5. One day you're shagging a tranny, fast forward a few years and you've married one

These are all the thoughts / deep fears and concerns likely to be in your brain if you're an average straight man with typical levels of sexual disgust.

There may be some guys who don't want to shag trannies, and only have a few of these concerns. Or they may be very light... once, I had a post-op tranny angling hard to get a shag with me. While I politely declined, another guy present couldn't help saying over and over again how if it was him and he had the chance to get with 'her', he'd go for it for sure! Later in the evening, after I left, the same tranny turned attentions to him, at which point this guy, with all his bravado, according to my friend who was still there, promptly got cold feet and backed out. For all his tough talk, he still had reservations buried deep down, bubbling up when the scenario changed from hypothetical to real.

I use an extreme example (nailing trannies) here to paint a clear picture. But the same thing applies to how men think about all kinds of sex acts:

• If you have high levels of sexual disgust, you may feel a similar way toward any girl who's not a virgin.

• If you have less-high but still high levels of sexual disgust, you might feel that way toward a girl who's had five partners. A little lower and your threshold might be 10. Lower still might be 20. You might not like knowing a girl swallows and has done so with other men before you.

• A man of moderate sexual disgust may be put off by a girl who's done anal before. Or he may not like that a girl is open to experimenting with women.

• A guy of fairly moderately (but not super) low sexual disgust may still be turned off by women who regularly engage in MMF threesomes, or who have ever pegged a man before

Meanwhile a guy of quite low sexual disgust might not care about any of these things, and is basically fine with anything so long as she is indeed a woman and she's under the age of 65.

I would add here that sexual disgust seems to serve as a tool to help funnel people toward more sexually compatible partners, as well. Married couples with similar sexual disgust scores have the highest levels of both sexual satisfaction and marital satisfaction. When you use sexual disgust to evaluate mates, what are you also evaluating? Normally, you are screening someone out based on cues and behaviors that signal she has a lower sexual disgust score than your own.

This is an important point we'll return to later.

For now, let's talk about the role experience plays.

 

How Sexual Experience Impacts Sexual Disgust

From my own personal experience and from talking to other very sexually experienced men (and women) I know, it is clear that sexual experience serves to modulate one's level of sexual disgust.

Basically:

• You have a baseline of intrinsic (probably genetic) sexual disgust

• As you gain positive sexual experiences, your sexual disgust about items tied to those experiences recedes

• If you have any negative sexual experiences, you can gain more sexual disgust toward those specific items

Generally what you will see is more sexually experienced men tend to have lower sexual disgust. They are more comfortable with women of increasingly higher lifetime sex partner counts; they are increasingly comfortable doing all sorts of different things sexually with women; and tend to mind less and less what women have done sexually with others before being with them.

When I was in high school and I heard the girl I was in unrequited love with laughing about how she did not like it when a guy has a hairy ass, and I had to face the possibility the girl I was in love with might well be having sex with other boys (I mean, she could've been talking hypothetically... but she was 16, and the average American loses virginity at 17, so...), it was a hard pill to swallow.

Here was this girl I was completely infatuated with... and she was more likely than not having sex with guys with hairy asses (or not). Gross.

But I looked at it and I told myself, "Well dude, you're a late bloomer. None of the girls you get are gonna be virgins. They are all going to have had cocks up in them before you. So you'd better make your peace with it."

I thought about it enough until I made some modicum of peace with it. I felt a bit sad that every girl was going to already have shagged some dude by the time I got to her, but I got over it.

Once I began sleeping with women, I still had an underlying disgust around girls I slept with who'd been with more men than I had women. I didn't feel inferior to them or inexperienced compared to them... I just felt gross that they'd been with so many more dudes (it seemed so much! It was more guys than I'd had girls!).

Time and experience corrects that for you though; as your partner count rises, fewer and fewer of the women you sleep with exceed it. Keep going and you reach the point where the partner counts of well-nigh every girl seem quaint. "She's only had 10 men... she's practically a virgin! How cute!"

Humans are comparative. We base our satisfaction on dimensions we care about largely on a comparison basis. For example, the more materialistic someone is, the worse he feels if other people have a higher income and more possessions than he has.

Likewise, we base our feelings about our partner counts and sex act experiences, as well as those of others, not based on any objective number, but on how we compare to others... especially those we're intimate with. As your sexual experience goes up, women that might've seemed quite experienced to you before (and possibly triggered feelings of disgust) seem less and less experienced, and may even start to seem almost virginal.

Of course, even as your disgust falls, you can still have a preference for partner numbers. Mine's girls in the 3-7 partner count range... the personality a woman has in this range is perfect if you ask me (not so 'fairytale princess', with all the effusive emotions and outlandish expectations, as you get in the 0-2 range; not so jaded and cynical as you get in the 8-19 range. Girls in the 'totally liberated' 20+ partner range are lots of fun, but not really what you want in a long-term relationship, unless you like swinging or open relationships, in which case they're ideal). More on how partner counts impact attitudes toward romance and sex in my article on figuring out how many partners your girlfriend's had.

There's also the "girl who's done X before" hurdle.

If you've never tied a girl up before, and you tie your girlfriend up and have a fun BDSM session with her, it might be a great time and a wonderful new experience for you. If you then discover her last two boyfriends before you also tied her up, however, you may have some difficulty dealing with it.

The fact of the matter is, no matter how many times you tie her up, it will always be the case that you've only tied up one girl... whereas she's been tied up by three men.

Now, if you've tied up seven or eight women before, and you start dating a girl who was tied up by her last two boyfriends, the dynamic will be very different. Rather than some girl who's a lot more experienced than you, you are now dealing with a girl who's still in the junior leagues. "Enter my sex dungeon, little padawan."

Finally, there's negative sexual experiences that impact your sexual disgust score.

One of our old forum members and article contributors, J.J. Jones, once mentioned he used to enjoy anal sex until the time he'd finished in a girl's bottom then withdrew his penis only to find a small piece of poop on it. After that he was so grossed out about the idea of butt sex he wouldn't do it anymore.

I've had other experienced guys tell me about swearing off this or that kind of girl after some disastrous encounter or other. If you're with them in person when they see a kind of girl they've sworn off, you will actually sometimes see visible revulsion spread across their face.

So, while in general we might say that sexual experience tends to reduce sexual disgust, there's an asterisk next to it: so long as the experiences are positive.

 

How to Overcome Sexual Disgust

There's only one way I know of to permanently, wholly get past sexual disgust:

Accrue the sexual experiences you need to shed it.

If you're disgusted by the number of partners a woman has had, and you don't want to be, take more partners.

If you're disgusted by certain sex acts, and you don't want to be, do those sex acts enough to normalize them.

 

How Your Perception of Sex Changes as Your Experience Does

Of our reader who commented feeling disgust at the idea of a woman who's slept with three prior men, one of them before a relationship officially started (albeit in the expectation one would), and who rejected a boyfriend over (among other things) repeated premature ejaculation but also went to bed once more with that same rejected ex after a year of celibacy (only to have the encounter end the same premature way), I can all but guarantee he:

• Hasn't been with 10 or more women
• Most likely has in total been with some number under four women
• Probably has only ever had one or maybe two casual sexual encounters tops
• Has had few or no women talk candidly with him about their sexual histories

I don't say this to be rude to him (not my intention at all); I just say it because that's simply how it goes. His level of experience or inexperience may be normal for his country (after doing a quick check, it seems he's in a city in northern India... where the average lifetime partner count for women is 3. So a girl with 3 partners still shouldn't be too shocking, but I suppose it's more likely to be than if you're in, say, the US).

Consider that when scientists break American women aged 25 to 35 up into different categories based on their number of sex partners, the average number of partners for the low count group (with partner counts ranging from 0-10) is 4.1 lifetime partners (the group that consisted of American women with 20-200 partners had an average partner count of 57.5. That's right... 2.5 fewer than 60). So it is not like "girl who had sex with three men before you" is an inordinately high number, especially not for a girl in her mid-twenties, which that girlfriend in question was. Most American men with a typical amount of sexual experience are probably not going to be shocked at a girl with three prior partners.

Once you're at 10 lays, half of them casual, and you've chatted with at least a few of the girls in-depth about their sexual histories, you are not going to be bothered by a girl with a handful of lays where two were boyfriends and the third was a guy she thought would be a boyfriend only for him to turn out to be sneaking around on his girlfriend. A girl like this will seem positively tame compared to many of the women you'll have bedded... unless you are a 10-count guy in a society of virgins (e.g., if every one of your 10 lays was a virgin, except for that one wild girl with six prior lovers, then a girl with three before you still may seem wild or gross).

Reach 20 lays... 50 lays... 100 lays... 200 lays... and the idea of being disgusted by a girl with 3 or 4 lays will seem absurd. Even 10 lays will seem normal (for the 20-lay guy) or tame (for the higher count guys).

 

What If You Don't Want to Rack Up Experience?

How do you quit fearing heights without venturing up enough high places?

How do you lose your distaste for carrots without chomping enough carrots?

How do you overcome sexual disgust without enough sex, with enough partners, and enough of each of the acts you wish to overcome it for?

There might be some kind of hypnosis or cognitive behavioral therapy out there that can achieve this.

If so, I'm unfamiliar with it.

There is of course "achieve enlightenment", at which point you will stop being bothered by anything.

Those aside, the only reliable way I know of to truly overcome a sense of fear/disgust is exposure.

All disgust is is a protective emotion to keep you away from something you fear.

Through repeated exposure -- in particular, repeated positive exposures (or at least non-negative ones) -- you condition yourself to realize nothing bad happens, there are no horrible outcomes you face with this thing, and the fear recedes. As the fear goes, so goes the disgust.

 

Interviewing Women About Their Sexual Experiences

Aside from getting direct sexual experience, you can also (or additionally) talk to women about their sexual histories. The act of talking to women about sex tells you much; girls who seem like nice, normal, sweet, pleasant people can tell you all kinds of sordid, carnal stories about their sexual histories.

In so doing, you may at first be repulsed... until you have enough discussions you begin to realize that it is actually pretty normal for people to have all kinds of sex, and the revulsion about it starts to recede.

I've talked to quite a few women about their sexual histories. I find the topic interesting; no two girls have exactly the same histories. When I was young and inexperienced and I first started doing this, I was often shocked at what girls told me, and frequently grossed out by it. Women have told me the weirdest things about sex... stuff I have never read on any website or in any book. Nowadays pretty much nothing surprises me.

Well -- almost nothing!

There really is no end to how weird, different, and inventive people can get about sex... that's one thing I can tell you for sure.

 

What If You're in a Committed LTR?

It's not uncommon to see guys who are in serious relationships or marriages where the woman is more sexually experienced than the man and the man is really, really bothered by it.

You will find articles online about wives' sexual pasts straining or ruining their marriages. Most are by the men themselves, struggling to cope.

I wish I had advice for these men, but it's often simply the case that they did not know what they were getting into when they got into it. Often these are men at earlier stages of the partner count progression than their girlfriends or wives are:

From one of the articles I linked above, here's an excerpt of what one husband says about his wife:

I was a 22 year old virgin when I met my wife. ... [I]t emerged that as 18/19 year old girls, they used to regularly go to a nightclub and pick up men for casual sex. I felt sick at this news and looked at her in a new light, but she dismissed my horror by saying that it was in the past, that she no longer cared for one night stands, and that she loved me now. I was a member of a mountaineering club where she frequented as a socialite before I joined and I found out that she had also slept with a number of the other members and that she had a reputation as an "easy ride". I also found out that she started having sex at 17 and had had an abortion. No longer able to bear continually bumping into her former lovers I suggested we move to another part of the country. ... I however, still feel that sex should be the most intimate physical expression of love and feel tainted and sickened by her previous exploits; "just bonking" she once said, like there was nothing more to it than scratching an itch. She has given herself freely to all those men so what is there special left for me?

You can see how CLEARLY the husband is in the 0-2 partner 'Trusting / Naïve' category, and for him "sex = love." Meanwhile, pretty clearly, he wife is in the 20+ lover 'Confident / Self-Assured' box, and for her sex is just sex, a separate category from love.

There is no way to move him from the first category to the fourth category without him shagging a lot more women, and there is no way to move her back to the first category ever.

We had a guest writer on here a while back write a post on getting un-hung on a woman's sexual history. You might want to give that a read if you're in a similar boat to this husband.

There's also a website I came across just now after a quick search that is wholly devoted to the topic of 'retroactive jealousy'; I haven't gone through it, so I don't know how useful the information is... but if you're in the situation where you're already deep into a relationship with a woman you feel sexual disgust toward because she's done so much more than you have sexually, you might want to give that site a look as well.

 

Reframing Her Sexuality

Here's one tip for men in relationships with higher count / more experienced women they simple cannot cotton to properly in their usual paradigms: try reframing how you think of her sexually.

If you're trying to think of her as your special, chaste princess who loves only you, whose pussy is only and has only ever been for you, a sacred thing exclusively for your use, you simply will not be able to do that and will be in a constant state of cognitive dissonance if she's had even one man before you. So obviously that's not a workable frame, and you are going to need a new one.

You can't adopt the frames of a more sexually experienced men, because those are frames you can only arrive at through experience. However, there are other frames you can adopt... that I daresay you can adopt even at a partner count of one.

Here are some to toy around with, both in the bedroom and outside of it. Not all these may appeal to you, but see if you can find one that does, and try it on for size. Keep in mind you may need to repeat a frame to yourself a number of times, on a number of occasions, before it really 'clicks' and you discover you suddenly ARE able to see her that way.

Here they are:

1. "This is my dirty little slut." If you're in a relationship with her, she IS yours (the way we think of someone being "someone else's", anyway). The fact that she's slutted it up in the past just means that while being yours, she is your slut. If instead of thinking of her as your pure princess, you can think of her as your dirty slut... that'd kind of fun, ain't it? "She was this dirty, dirty slut, slutting it up everywhere, and now she's my dirty slut, to fuck as I please." There are child frames to this as well... such as when you're having sex with her thinking, "I am fucking this girl's dirty, filthy pussy," "She is yielding this slutty pussy up to me," "I'm just a dirty dog, fucking this dirty whore."

2. "Other men may have had her, but I possess her." She may have been with 100 men before, but now she's yours. Those men lost her; you've claimed ownership. She's with you to not be out there in the cold, alone, unowned by a man. You are her refuge; her shelter; she may have enjoyed her freedom once, but now she's sought protection with you.

3. "Other men wish to get her back, but they can't have her now." If you have a girl where you know other men have tried to get her back, offering her a committed relationship, marriage, etc., remind yourself of this as a way to shore up her value in your mind. She's not just a slut pumped-and-dumped by Chads and cast away; she's made other men weak, men who chased her for commitment, but she spurned them. Instead, she ran to you, and YOU took her. Too bad for those other guys left settling for maybe sweeter but less awesome / vivacious women.

4. "I'm the one who's planted his claim in her." The old explorers and mountain climbers used to plant flags for their countries if they were the first one to claim ownership of a new site. Others may have been there before, but if no one put a flag there, if you were the first one to do so, it meant the claim was yours. If you have a woman you've had children with, you've 'planted your flag' in her womb in a way none of her prior lovers has (well, assuming you're the first to have children with her). They might've explored there a bit, but they never staked a claim; you did, and that 'territory' is now yours.

If you'll notice, all these reframes are aimed at reasserting your masculine dominance. If she's 'your' anything, if you 'possess' her, have 'staked your claim' to her, it puts you in the dominant position.

The lack of dominance is one of the core underlying fears for a man dealing with a more sexually experienced woman: "She's the more experienced one... isn't she in charge?" "What if she had much better sex with one of her other lovers?" "What if she felt much deeper attachment to one of her prior men?"

Asserting domination over her through one of these other ways ("she's MY slut", "others may have sampled her but she's taken refuge under MY roof; I've possessed her", "other men want her, but they can't get her, because I've taken her", "no matter who visited her vagina in the past, I'm the one who planted his flag in her womb") takes the place of fearing domination by her or her prior lovers.

These reframes change the dynamic in your head about what is most important -- it is not sexual experience that is most important, but your masculine dominance: owning her, sheltering her, impregnating her. That is what gives you power over her and makes her past men no longer relevant.

There's another reframe we can do here as well, and that is this: sluttier girls tend to have personality differences compared to less sexually active ones. It is likely those personality characteristics that attracted you to her in the first place. If you're married or older, you may have children with her, and see those characteristics in them -- they may be more assertive, more aggressive, more confident, more outgoing, etc. than you are if she's higher count and you're lower count.

If you can get yourself to look at your selection of her as not so much "I chose a woman who's a lot more experienced than I am" but "I chose a woman for these specific traits of hers" where your concern is her traits and qualities and not her partner count or sexual history you will have framed the way you look at her very differently.

(honestly I think this is also one of the biggest differences between sexually experienced and inexperienced people. Sexually inexperienced people attach a WHOLE LOT OF WEIGHT to the sexual pasts of those in their lives. Sexually experienced people, on the other hand, don't really care about that, because it's all water under the bridge to them, and instead they are more focused on the person, without the weird fairy magic of "wow sex is so special, partners are so special, sexual history is so meaningful")

I talked to a friend about his financially successful, business owning, professional model wife once a few years back. He was unsatisfied with some of the aspects of their relationship and wondered if he ought to stay with her. I said you know, honestly, if I'm picking a wife I don't really care so much about the relationship, so long as she isn't a complete harpy to me. If I'm picking a wife the only thing I really care about is the genes: what kind of sons and daughters is she going to give me. If the genes are compatible with mine, and are going to lead to some awesome super kids, then she's an excellent choice.

My friend said, "You know, when I think about it that way, my wife's an excellent choice! Yeah, that is why I chose her... she has a ton of great qualities and is a great woman to make babies with. When I think about it like that I feel much better!"

His relationship quality ultimately improved quite a lot in the years after that. I don't know how much that reframe helped, but sometimes a different way of looking at things is all you need to change the way you feel, which changes the way you act, which changes how the other party feels and behaves toward you.

 

Should You Overcome Sexual Disgust... and How Far?

Now, here's the thing:

It can be good to overcome sexual disgust to a degree... but everyone has a limit.

There's no clear agreement among folks on where that limit ought to be. A lot of it is going to be based around your goals.

If you go on a pickup artist forum, men will tell you you shouldn't care at all about a woman's history, that it's irrelevant, and worrying about it at all and thinking there's any difference between a girl who's had 1 partner and a girl who's had 100 is 'Madonna/whore complex'.

Then you can head on over to a red pill site, and you'll find a bunch of guys there telling you you should not marry any woman who wasn't a virgin before you, because once she's had another man she can never be fully yours.

Obviously a big part of the disconnect here is these men have different goals:

• Pickup artists want lots of sex with lots of different women. Getting hung up on a woman's sexual past is an impediment to that... especially since, on average, if you're hooking up a lot, most of the women you hook up with are going to tend to be women who like to hook up and will likely have done it before more than a few times (unless you specialize in virgins or inexperienced girls or whatnot)

• Meanwhile red pill guys are looking for chaste, submissive wives who are going to listen to them and yield to them as the absolute lord of their houses, leading things as the patriarch

Then you can go on a feminist or mainstream site, and see the same "her past shouldn't matter!" stuff you'll see on a pickup forum, but it'll be aimed more at inexperienced men trying to convince them to marry and commit to women with a great deal more sexual experience than them.

So, same opening argument as the pickup artist sites... but very different desired end goal (PUAs: "Use your reduced sexual disgust to bed many more women!" Feminists & MSM: "Use your reduced sexual disgust to wife up this chick who's been around the block a couple dozen more times than you!").

How far do you actually want to reduce your disgust though?

Well, it depends.

 

Factors that Determine How Far You Must Go

Here are the factors that, in my opinion, need to go into your determination of how much sexual disgust you want to rid yourself of:

1. What the reality of women is around you. If you're in India and half the women around you are virgins, there's probably not much need to reduce your level of sexual disgust from a totally practical point of view. However, if you're in the US, where on average people have 11 lifetime sex partners and 40% of women won't reveal their true partner count because they think it's too high, you're going to have a tough time if you can't accept women having partners prior to you.

2. How inured you want to be. 18% of heterosexual men have inserted their penis into a woman's anus, but 36.3% of women have received anal sex. There are a lot more women getting it than there are men giving it. We can bet that at least half those women will marry men who never stick their penises in their butts. Odds are most of those husbands will simply never know their wife has been plowed up the pooper before... but perhaps their worlds would turn upside down were they ever to find out. If you want to limit the ability of things like this to shake you, then get experience in it yourself.

3. What kind of women you get/go for. If you're going for virgins, you don't really need a ton of experience to be more experienced than they are to avoid sexual disgust in relationships with them (unless you run into one of those virgins who's slept with zero guys yet sucked on 40 dicks... then you might have some issues).

4. How open you want women to be with you. If you want women to be honest with you, you are going to need to reduce the amount of sexual disgust you feel. Women are a lot less inclined to fess up to things when they can tell they're getting judged on them... and you are going to struggle much more with what they do fess up if it's stuff you haven't exposed yourself to enough yet to avoid sexual disgust.

5. How far you personally feel the need to go in ridding yourself of disgust. Maybe it becomes a mission to you. Perhaps you want to be the most sexually accepting man out there. What must you do? Do you need to get comfortable doing the Eiffel Tower where you double high-five a buddy you're railing a chick together with? Should you try out swinging? Open relationships? Cuckolding? Trannies? Let your girl try a strap-on on you? Have sex with a girl after your buddy just had sex with her? Most guys who do stuff like this will be guys who want to do this stuff, rather than guys on a holy mission to rid themselves of sexual disgust. Before you get too deep into a commitment to rid yourself of any and all sexual disgust, it's worth figuring out how far you need to go to be satisfied, and what you're trying to achieve by ridding yourself of it in the first place.

Only you can decide how far you need to go to inure yourself to sexual disgust.

Every guy has limits. You don't need to be comfortable with everything to be 'cool' or 'a real player'. I don't know a single guy who'd say, "Yeah, I'm down with all that stuff," I just listed out in the fifth bullet above, and many of the guys I know who are very good with girls aren't down with a lot of it. You don't need to be fine with all the nastiest stuff just to be in the cool kids club. Most cool kids have plenty of things they're not cool with, too.

You just need to figure out where you're trying to get to and what you objectives are, and work on reducing any forms of sexual disgust that are obstacles from there.

Finally, keep in mind that item we talked about near the start of this piece: that married couples with similar levels of sexual disgust have the most satisfying sex lives AND the most satisfying married lives.

So whatever you reduce your sexual disgust level down to, it probably shouldn't be too much lower than whatever type of woman you ultimately hope to wife up... assuming you intend to take a long-term girlfriend or wife someday (and the vast majority of men ultimately will).

 

Wrap Up

I hope I've presented a balanced picture here for you on feelings of sexual disgust.

We discussed why these feelings are there, how to reduce them, and how far to go in reducing them, depending on your situation and your objectives.

It's good to experiment with things sexually to reduce your own disgust with them. If you've never had public sex but you find out your long-term girlfriend has, it might throw you for a loop. Yet once you've had public sex with a few different women, if you start dating a girl and it turns out she's had public sex once or twice before you it's no big deal.

Still, there's no need to take it to extremes if you don't want to and that doesn't suit your lifestyle.

You don't have to be comfortable with everything.

Only those things you might need to be comfortable with based on the sorts of women you date and the nature of the relationships you'll have.

I'd close by saying you should not feel ashamed about sexual disgust... everybody has it, to greater or lesser extent.

However, if it's a problem, and it is getting in your way, and preventing you from having the kind of relationships you want, and the level of confidence and self-assurance with women you want to have, then there are ways to mend that -- assuming you aren't opposed to acquiring a bit more experience, that is!

Chase