Seduction

When I was in college, a bunch of my floor mates wanted to know how to break the ice, and as a result started bandying around a new line to use with women. It went like this:

Guy: Hey, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

Girl: No... how much?

Guy: Enough to break the ice! Hi, I'm Hal.

It's cute, but fortunately for you, there are many more ways you can use to break the ice with women that are a lot less cheesy than this.

Ice-breaking is a "line" than it is a technique, done properly. And there's more to ice-breaking than simply starting a new conversation.

In the article "How to Be Playful: 4 Tips You'll NEED," on the function of playfulness, I noted:

“Socially talented men employ playfulness for exactly TWO reasons:

1. Breaking the ice, and
2. Reducing tension
   

... that's it. Playfulness only serves those two functions. They're two sides of the same coin, really - the "ice" that you break is really just the tension that comes before initiating a conversation where no one really knows what to say yet to do that.”

And what I'm going to talk about in this article is exactly that - reducing tension, and breaking the ice. Although there are some differences between the two, there's a lot of overlap as well... so we'll cover both in this post.

Early in my seduction career, I studied everything I could from the guys I considered the "top guys" who'd come before me. But I especially focused on the guys who really good were but who didn't know how to market themselves... essentially, the hidden gems of seduction.

What I realized was that the mainstream school of thought on picking up women was almost as dogmatic as mainstream society itself; while mainstream society believed in:

• Be nice to women
• Take things slow
• Just be yourself
• Pay for dates
• No sex until the third date

The pickup community at the time I entered also had its own tenets, chiefly:

• Follow the 3-second rule of approaching
  
• Seductions must unfold over 7+ hours
• You must be impressive and show higher value
  
• You must follow a "method" - certain steps and procedures, routines, etc.
• Fast seductions were "fools mates" and only happened with "easy" women

Which to me seemed a definite step up and an improvement from what mainstream society preaches, but... it still seemed a bit too limiting and contrived.

Why do you need some complicated procedure to "show your value" to women? Why do you have to go through some whole song and dance just to get girls?

I ended up searching out unconventional teachers and older guys in the community who'd largely vanished from the main forums and hang outs, convinced I could learn the things from them that the rest of the devotees of the social and seductive arts seemed not to know.

And by and large, I did.

And one of the greatest lessons I learned from these studies was how to find out the answer to the question "what does she want?" using a forgotten technique its originator called "eliciting values."

I'm going to teach you that technique today.

Sometime back ago, when I was still new to learning about seduction, I shared with a friend the tale of a girl I'd gone out with and the sexual dialogue I'd tried using to get her mind going the right way... and how disappointed I was it hadn't seemed to have had the desired effect.

“My man,” I remember him saying to me at the time, “I notice you keep trying to use words to get women excited and turned on. But words aren't very good at this. You need to use sexual tension.”

And I heard this, and I thought it sounded like a great idea... except I had no idea how to create sexual tension, how to use it, or where to even start with it. And my friend, for all his wisdom, was at a loss to explain it.

So, I did what any real student of anything does who is unable to find the answer by simpler means, and I embarked on a quest to discover the mechanisms of this phenomenon and to find the key to unlock its power for myself.

Recently, years later, I found myself in the opposite position, recommending to readers that they use sexual tension, this time in the “How to Kiss a Girl” article from last week, and having the very first commenter on the post, a guy named Josh, remark:

“I would like to see a post on sexual tension. How and when to create it and sustain it. I see you mention touching and proximity to create this and maybe some eye contact that last just a little to long. Those along with some playful banter maybe as well? It's amazing how much of flirting and seduction are non-verbal.”

Well Josh, the fortunate thing is, unlike my friend from that conversation past, this is one I had to put together over time and figure out the puzzle pieces for, and I can both tell you how to create it, and tell you how to use it.

Now let me show you how you can build and direct sexual tension to drive the women you meet lusty, horny, and randy, in minutes or less.

We don't talk much on here about how to kiss a girl, typically because we're more focused on helping you to get girls in bed - why spend much time on the appetizer when you can skip right to the main event?

But even if you're working to turn yourself into the kind of irresistible man a woman simply can't say "no" too, it's still worth putting some time into bringing up your kissing technique. Why? Because it's one of those small edges that fold into the big picture that is you, and the impression you make on girls.

In other words, being a talented kisser makes you better able to achieve the kind of results you really want with women: namely, hot, steamy liaisons with beautiful girls you really dig.

Even if you simply run through a seduction quickly with a woman, and then plant a mind-blowing kiss on her, it still helps:

• It helps remove any last minute resistance you might run into prior to intimacy,

• It helps her switch off her logical mind and be there in the moment,

• And it helps her realize that yes, you are exactly the kind of charming, seductive, sexy man she's always dreamed of meeting.

So on those notes, I want to address the reader from Slovenia who commented the following over on the article on how to get a phone number:

“I've read around 95% of your articles and let's say trained myself to an intermediate level... or something more than a pure begginer lets say.
Tnx to you again ;)

Still I have problems when it comes to Physical Escalation... but not problems with getting laid. I have serious problems with the transition from conversation to kissing. Once the kissing is on I have very few problems with bed magic.

I have actually never read any insight that would break down how to get closer and closer, when/how to start putting my arm around or something, hug her, kiss her on her cheeks or I don't fkin know... My question would sound like this:

HOW to get to kissing part if you do everything wright?

I have serious problems with this transition. And I angry even more because I know I would have gotten laid so many times If I had only mastered this part... And I will sooner or latter.”

And he's right. That's a tough transition, from conversation to kissing and being physical together, and for a lot of guys it can be one of the most challenging things to learn. Transitions in general are pretty tough stuff, and you'll find that most of your obstacles as you improve with women and dating come when you find yourself struggling to transition from one phase of an interaction to the next.

So let me give you an article on how to kiss a girl that'll help you navigate this transition a lot more smoothly... a lot more naturally... and as a bonus, teach you exactly how to lay one on her that she'll remember for a long, long time.

Tell me if you've ever been here:

You've met a girl, and you really like her, and you can tell she really likes you, and maybe you even keep running into each other, and you really like each other every time you do and it never fades away... but for the life of you, you just can't ever get her alone with you!

I know I ran into this plenty when I was cutting my teeth with women and dating - this maddening inability to get a girl alone. You end up feeling like the unluckiest man alive... so many women who like me! you think. But so impossible to ever get together with any of because I can't ever get them alone!

Today I'm going to give you 7 easy-to-use tips that are going to help you start getting girls alone with you right away. These are strategies you can use wherever you meet women - be that at bars, parties, shopping malls, the street, classrooms, or even at work.

You'll have to vary them up a bit depending on the environment you're in and where you know a girl from - but the point is, now you can do it.

And you won't have to spend another moment going crazy inside because you can't get a girl alone.

Step inside my tent and allow me to reveal these mysteries to you...

It's time for a Girls Chase Spooktacular... how to pick up girls on Halloween!

If you're a fan of that most debauched of traditions, you know that Halloween wasn't always a time for drinking, wild parties, and young women barely attired in scanty little outfits. It was originally a day of fearfulness and waiting on-edge... it was All Hallows Eve, the day before All Hallows Day, when the dead were to celebrated and revered. Well, we don't spend much time either fearing or celebrating the dead anymore these days, and we've transformed what fear there was into... festivity, instead.

And with that festivity, has come costumes and candy. And with the costumes, mixed in with some good old fashioned sexual revolution, has come... women acting out their most seductive fantasies.

In modern American and other Western countries the American Halloween tradition has emigrated out to, women have taken the holiday up as an occasion to let loose, dress sexy, and turn themselves into legendary flirts. Halloween affords them the chance to throw off social convention and rebel in ways that no other time or place does. And some of it is just for fun.

But sometimes, on Halloween, some of those deep, dark desires get transformed... and in today's article, I've got everything from tips to anecdotes to research to show you how to end up on the receiving end of the repressed carnal passions of that normally-conservative girl who's now dressed up like a naughty forest creature.

Let's get to it.

One of the themes that keeps coming up on this site is framing… and more specifically, sexual framing.

We've covered this topic before in posts like “Chase Framing” and my original post on the sexual frame, and I’m returning to it here to answer some of the questions guys had for me over on sexual frame post #1 and flesh out the how-to of sexual framing a bit more.

In terms of your fundamentals, it is really THE most important skill, because it determines the meaning of everything you say, and hence the impact of your words and therefore also the outcome of all your interactions!

Once you’re at ninja level with your verbal frame control skills, you can put any kind of “stamp” on any interaction with women… or with anyone else, really.

You can turn any conversation sexual, which also means that you can turn almost any relationship sexual.

By the same token, you can also turn any conversation into a monogamous relationship, if you so choose.

BUT here’s the problem:

If you DON’T understand framing… if you DON’T have this skill down PAT, you will STILL be setting frames, but without being aware of it... because every word out of your mouth comes with a frame.