(4) Advanced

Hi mate,

I just wanted to shoot you a quick message to say thanks for answering all my questions - I have your blog on my Chrome start bar now and love reading all the articles (and my game has improved a lot).

I got your blog address from over at mASF where i post occasionally under Lachstar; if you have some spare time, I'd love to hear your thoughts on Neo-Rio's manwhore style of game, which seems both directly opposed to your style (in that it seems cold and impersonal, whereas yours is warm and giving) and also complimentary (getting the girls to chase him, etc). I've been reading a bit about his style of game and I have some mixed feelings about it. Like - where does he get his affection from? He'd get his sexual needs met, for sure, but affection would be hard to get simply being a whore for girls.

Anyway, thanks again, and if you want to respond to my email or post it somewhere on your blog, either is good. Can't wait for the book!

Regards,

Lachstar

Thanks for writing, Lachstar. Lach raises some interesting questions here. He’s referring to a poster (Neo-Rio) over on a seduction forum called mASF, who has a style of seduction that Lach describes as rather cold. This post is written as a reply to Lach’s email, outlining my thoughts on Neo-Rio’s approach and what differences and similarities exist between his and my take on seduction.

Going to venture into morally questionable territory here, so bear with me. Even if you don’t agree with my decision to get intimate anyway with a girl who loved her boyfriend (though she clearly did quite a lot to put herself in the position to get together with me), I still think the topic we’re going to discuss will be well worth your time, so do read on.

Last night I met a girl for the first time through a social network I’m a part of who was visiting from Shanghai. She was a cute 25 year-old socialite and event manager who was in town to organize a big event at the Water Cube and seemed eager to meet up with me. Good so far.

We met up and grabbed some food and a drink each and talked about the usual stuff: life, goals, dreams, et cetera. Then she mentioned that she would never trust Italian men again, and that Italian men lied, and I was curious, so asked her more.

Just walked out the second girl I slept with in a 12-hour period. Oh my, going to need to get a good night’s sleep tonight… and I’m all out of bed sheets.

So I slept with a new girl yesterday who continues this streak I’ve been on of young and inexperienced girls. She’s the second new girl in less than a week to tell me I’m only her second lover, in fact. This is a girl I’d met a few months earlier at a dinner related to some work I was doing at the time. We’d spoken a few times since, and yesterday we had our first date. She spent the night with me, and this morning told me she loved me.

She asked me if I loved her back; I looked at her and gave her a warm smile. “You don’t love me,” she said.

“You don’t love me either,” I told her. “We just got together yesterday!”

“But I loved you the moment I saw you,” she said. “I walked into the restaurant and I saw you, and you smiled at me, and I said, ‘Oh God, I’m in love.’ Didn’t you feel it? Why did you smile at me that way?”

I was sitting in a nightclub tonight, smoke and booze surrounding me, sipping on a Jack and Coke (or what passes for one in this country), and thinking about some past interactions and feeling vaguely annoyed. There was the girl on Saturday whose friend was pushing her to go home with me as hard as she could, but the girl was a little too shy and wanted to push that back. I didn’t push as hard as I could; I still have a decent chance with her – she’s set to come cook dinner for me later this week – but my chances would’ve been better had I pushed a bit harder and taken her home that night. She liked me enough, but rather than close it out when I had it I let it slip through my fingers. Then there was the girl I brought home Friday night but who stayed tense and I didn’t push anything with since I couldn’t get her comfortable. She wants to see me again too, but my chances in the future are far lower than they were that night she was sitting in my apartment.

There’s a tough situation you may run into from time to time where you’ll be asked to move things forward with two women at once. For instance, you may be sitting in a bar getting to know one girl, when suddenly another you already know or had met earlier comes up to you. What do you do?

In this situation, most beginners panic and make a silly mistake or two and lose both girls. As a guy gets more skilled, he’ll handle this sort of situation a bit better, but still view it as a bad one to end up in, and often end up worse off for having been in it than had he met each girl independently.

But if you stop and think about it, it really shouldn’t be a bad thing. Women are, after all, most attracted to men they know, or at least sense, have success with other women. So a woman seeing you in the process of getting another girl ought to be excited by this – turned on even. This ought to be a good thing.

I don’t know how useful this is as a technique we can discuss here, inasmuch as I don’t know that it’s something you can be taught so much as something you just pick up or develop. But I figured it was worth writing a little about regardless.

I do a little something I call quick reading. Pretty much every guy I know who’s done his fair share of meeting and dating and getting intimate with women does this, and it’s quite different from what you’ll see less experienced guys doing.

What a quick read is is when you very rapidly assess whether a girl is the kind of girl you’d go for.

It’s an extremely useful technique – or maybe habit – that helps a man in two ways:

• Helps him to save time by quickly moving on from women he doesn’t like
• Helps him to end up with women he does like

Had a discussion with a friend of mine the other day where he asked me if I ever got the scenario of walking up to a girl, engaging her, and having her blankly stare at me and not respond. He asked because he wondered what it meant – in other words, what he might be doing wrong.

And it touched on something I’d been thinking about recently: on how perceptions of “rejection” change as your understanding of women evolves.

Five years ago, I took any form of non-engagement by a girl I’d started speaking to as a deep, personal rejection. It was as though she had assessed my person and found me unworthy. I felt hurt and insulted.

Nowadays, I recognize that reaction I used to have for what it was: a combination of a lack of understanding of women, and a lack of any kind of abundance mentality. Because the world is not so simple as I assumed it was back then.