(4) Advanced

I was sitting in a nightclub tonight, smoke and booze surrounding me, sipping on a Jack and Coke (or what passes for one in this country), and thinking about some past interactions and feeling vaguely annoyed. There was the girl on Saturday whose friend was pushing her to go home with me as hard as she could, but the girl was a little too shy and wanted to push that back. I didn’t push as hard as I could; I still have a decent chance with her – she’s set to come cook dinner for me later this week – but my chances would’ve been better had I pushed a bit harder and taken her home that night. She liked me enough, but rather than close it out when I had it I let it slip through my fingers. Then there was the girl I brought home Friday night but who stayed tense and I didn’t push anything with since I couldn’t get her comfortable. She wants to see me again too, but my chances in the future are far lower than they were that night she was sitting in my apartment.

There’s a tough situation you may run into from time to time where you’ll be asked to move things forward with two women at once. For instance, you may be sitting in a bar getting to know one girl, when suddenly another you already know or had met earlier comes up to you. What do you do?

In this situation, most beginners panic and make a silly mistake or two and lose both girls. As a guy gets more skilled, he’ll handle this sort of situation a bit better, but still view it as a bad one to end up in, and often end up worse off for having been in it than had he met each girl independently.

But if you stop and think about it, it really shouldn’t be a bad thing. Women are, after all, most attracted to men they know, or at least sense, have success with other women. So a woman seeing you in the process of getting another girl ought to be excited by this – turned on even. This ought to be a good thing.

I don’t know how useful this is as a technique we can discuss here, inasmuch as I don’t know that it’s something you can be taught so much as something you just pick up or develop. But I figured it was worth writing a little about regardless.

I do a little something I call quick reading. Pretty much every guy I know who’s done his fair share of meeting and dating and getting intimate with women does this, and it’s quite different from what you’ll see less experienced guys doing.

What a quick read is is when you very rapidly assess whether a girl is the kind of girl you’d go for.

It’s an extremely useful technique – or maybe habit – that helps a man in two ways:

• Helps him to save time by quickly moving on from women he doesn’t like
• Helps him to end up with women he does like

Had a discussion with a friend of mine the other day where he asked me if I ever got the scenario of walking up to a girl, engaging her, and having her blankly stare at me and not respond. He asked because he wondered what it meant – in other words, what he might be doing wrong.

And it touched on something I’d been thinking about recently: on how perceptions of “rejection” change as your understanding of women evolves.

Five years ago, I took any form of non-engagement by a girl I’d started speaking to as a deep, personal rejection. It was as though she had assessed my person and found me unworthy. I felt hurt and insulted.

Nowadays, I recognize that reaction I used to have for what it was: a combination of a lack of understanding of women, and a lack of any kind of abundance mentality. Because the world is not so simple as I assumed it was back then.

Want a really cool, sneaky way of getting girls to wonder about you and find you more intriguing? You can use something I call a question suggestion.

A question suggestion is, in a nutshell, a way of quite deftly placing a burning question about you into a woman’s mind and making her curious about you, without much more than a subtle drop of a hint of question into your normal conversation with her.

Every now and again, a guy will meet a girl who seems really great, but despite his best efforts, he just can’t make anything happen with her. It can be very frustrating – especially when it’s a girl he knows well and cares about, and with whom he has a great connection, and whom he maybe even comes close to succeeding with, but can’t close the gap.

Why’s this happen? And what, exactly, do you do when you end up in that situation? That’s what I want to talk about in this post.

This is for reasonably experienced guys. Newer guys will struggle with making this effective, I believe – it might even backfire. But for guys who are reasonably adept with women – if girls are easily attracted to you, if you’re good at getting them to follow your lead, if you have sex with different girls on a somewhat regular basis – this is something you want to read.

Referencing scientific research here, but I’m not one to be politically correct anyway, sooo… let’s talk about objectifying women.