(2) Intermediate

Should you come across as a lover or a provider? Let’s examine why the lover’s frame is always best, no matter the type of relationship you want with a girl.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

In this post, I’ll discuss two aspects of seduction men need to consider to achieve great success with women.

There have been many theories that split concepts into categories, phases, or into different aspects, like “the five pillars of seduction,” etc. Today I want to break it down to its core.

The framework I’ll present will be very intuitive and broad, yet I’ll give examples as we proceed.

You may have certain frameworks you already use to make sense of the world of seduction and women. There is nothing wrong with that if it is helpful. However, you may encounter a competing framework that you happen to find equally interesting. Yet, it is not coherent with your usual framework. This will not be the case here.

The framework I’ll discuss is so basic that any other framework you may have will be compatible. If it is not, then your initial framework needs reworking.

The vast majority of relationships don’t last, though they begin with sincere commitments. Let’s take a look at why that is and your options for dealing with it.

A good friend of mine is experiencing a 7-year drop with his girlfriend after living together for many years, even supporting her as a performing artist in an expensive west coast city. My friend had discovered Girls Chase after struggling somewhat through high school and college. While he didn’t have it as bad as some, he still missed many opportunities with girls who were interested in him.

Soon after discovering Girls Chase and working out his system of cold approaching by night on weekends, he started to develop a decent pickup and close rate. Once guys find a working system AND good momentum, they generally have a quick period of extreme success and many wins all at once. Often, a guy’s attractiveness and vibe are SO high and SO good at this time, that girls WILL want to rope them into relationships.

My friend is quite careful and picky, though. He enjoyed being single and picking up women. Then one night, he met a REALLY attractive woman. Instead of picking her up that evening, she gave him her number and they went on several dates before having sex. This soon blossomed into a monogamous relationship that would last seven years.

As with most monogamous relationships, girls want increasing investment from a man from the first moment until the day things end, whether by choice, mutual consent, or death do they part. After being together several years, she moved in with him on the premise of wanting to be together forever. The couple also agreed that they didn’t want kids.

While my friend was in this relationship, he didn’t stop studying Girls Chase and other materials about women and relationships. With an extremely inquisitive and process-driven mind, he learned MORE about dating and pickup after getting into this relationship. However, he was prevented from using his knowledge for self-benefit; his relationship wouldn’t allow for it. My friend felt trapped. He wanted to date other women (at least for sexual satisfaction), but he couldn’t.

As with every relationship, women want more investment over time, so the pressure increased with my friend, especially at the 4–5 year mark. His girlfriend wanted to take their relationship to the next level, to formal marriage (that's what her friends were doing). She talked to several friends in open relationships and proposed opening her relationship with my friend to help increase the spark they felt with each other. As I noted, my friend already felt trapped, so he was on board with this idea.

This opened up room for his girlfriend to “explore” as well. Women and men mostly desire different things, of course. Men (even very emotional ones) are more driven by physical appearance, and women (even very practical ones) by emotional connection and social dynamics. My friend was allowed to have extra sexual partners but no emotionally involved relationships. His girlfriend was allowed to go on dates with men but not have sex with them.

This setup only stalled the underlying issue: forward progress in their relationship. Girls always want more than they have, and a relationship either keeps progressing through growth (usually led by the woman’s paradigm), or one gets trapped with the other (leading them to support or resent each other), or it ends.

This is how relationships transpire.

Use the 'heavy pause' in the right moment, just before you escalate. It makes it EASIER to make moves with the women you want to make moves with.

A pregnant pause is a pause you make before you say something impactful, or when you wait for the other person to fill in the silence.

Yet there's a specific type of pregnant pause we can use for specific situations, right before escalation.

To differentiate this pause from the more generic pregnant pause, let's call this type of pause the 'heavy pause'.

You can use a heavy pause before any important courtship milestone:

• Once you're talking to her, before you ask her to come sit with you

• Once you're talking to her, before you ask her to change venues with you

• Before you invite her home with you

• Before you kiss her the first time

• Before you get intimate with her

Heavy pauses serve as a sort of 'moment of truth' when you find out whether a girl is ready for the next step or not.

They also let you build up anticipation before you take the plunge... which makes the next move you make all the sweeter.

And if you're used to speeding through your interactions, a few heavy pauses at the right places can make all the difference between a rushed courtship versus one that proceeds at a whirlwind pace yet never feels hurried to her.

Touch is vital to seduction, but too much can trigger resistance. At what point can touching backfire, particularly when you’re talking about sex?

Hey guys! Today I will delve into typical issues related to calibration. For example, how much should you escalate while delivering “impactful” verbal game like sex talk or hypnotic patterns meant to sexualize conversation and stimulate her?

I get this question a lot. How much should you touch a girl when you talk about sex? I realize I have not publicly given a good answer to this question, and that’s why I would like to cover it here.

There are no crystal-clear answers. Some prefer to touch more than others. Both strategies have pros and cons. Like many techniques in the field of pickup and seduction, it comes down to which advantages you favor for the price of associated disadvantages.

Let’s begin by stating some universal facts.

A quality social circle does a lot for you: connects you, loves you, helps you win at life. These tips provide simple ways to join one or build one from scratch.

Some of the best times of my life were when I had a large social circle filled with awesome people.

Yes, there are benefits to being a loner, too, especially if you need to do deep work, but having an awesome social circle full of interesting people can be incredibly rewarding.

Introvert or Extrovert?

To be noted, I’m what you’d call an introvert. It’s not a crippling disorder or anything; I just like my alone time. In my coaching experience, I’ve found most men who are drawn to the seduction community are also introverted. And many use this as an excuse for not going out or having an active social circle. The result is they never get laid (without paying for it).

If this is you, that’s cool. You can be introverted, but you can also put on your extrovert hat, which metaphorically may be a flat cap or a top hat or one of those deals with a propeller on top. Whatever you have, just pick it up and try it on. Pretend to be an extrovert just to see what it feels like, what the benefits are of a more social life. Trust me, depending on the sort of group you align with, there can be many.

When you improve your game with women and life, some friends you keep, others you outgrow. It can be painful leaving friends in the dust, but it’s for the best.

Welcome to Part 4 of my series on how to manage your male friends as you improve your game and see more success with women!

In Part 1, we covered how the dumb and clueless man can adversely affect your seductions and your relationships. Often these guys are good friends with good intentions but make one or more dumb public mistakes around a girl you’re courting or dating that affects her view of you, and you’re left picking up the pieces and dealing with the fallout. These guys also see your girl skills as more advanced and easier than you make it out to be. They think their mistakes are minor and easy to recover from when they can severely jeopardize your frame with a woman.

In Part 2, we looked at how shady guys befriend you to use your talents with women for their own gain. These guys may befriend you with good intentions but then try to steal away the women you’re seducing. These guys usually aren’t good at approaching (but they're decent with closing), so I’ve noticed they try to steal sets that you’ve already approached, opened, and built good vibes with. A state transfer occurs, and they try to lead her to sex after you’ve done the hardest work.

In Part 3, we discussed how judgmental friends fundamentally and morally disagree with your decision to get better with women or pursue your goals with women, and shame you behind your back to the rest of your social circle when you go against their beliefs.

All are ultimately toxic friendships that hurt you more than help you stay in them.

Finally, there’s the fourth type of friend you’ll run into. This friend tends to exist more for newbies just breaking into the world of women. I’ve found experienced and intermediate men naturally stay away from these guys because they fully understand how damaging they can be to their game.

This final type is what I call “dead weight guys.” Unfortunately, they hang around as friends and also want to go out with you to pick up women but provide little to no value or effort to help, and thus hold you back.

What is a player? And more importantly, are YOU a player? Will being labeled a player have a bad impact on your dating life, or can the label actually help you?

What is a player?

Many years ago, when I was still a sniveling newbie in the dating scene, I was friends with an amazingly talented seductionist. I’ll call him Chris.

I went to a party with Chris, and a girl I recognized from work looked at me sideways and asked how I knew him. I didn’t tell her we were part of a secret society of pickup artists that met in a rented room we called a “lair” every Sunday and were out that night to practice our approach techniques.

“He’s a friend of a friend,” I replied.

“Well…” she shriveled her nose, “he’s a notorious player.”

I went back to Chris and told him he had the reputation of being a player. “Really? That’s good,” he replied, obviously pleased with the label.

Why would a seducer be pleased about being called a player?