(1) Beginner

It may not always seem clear when the time to make a move is while relying purely on instinct. Use these frameworks to know when to escalate to sex with a girl & get your timing right.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

This post is dedicated to newer guys, to help them understand what’s going on. More experienced readers may also find value in this post.

I would like to discuss how to escalate to sex, often referred to as “end-game escalation,” from a beginner-friendly perspective. Below, I’ll outline some fundamental principles, theories, and guidelines that can help most men land girls, considering all factors. It’s important to establish a level of attraction, comfort, and decent logistics to proceed. This is a crucial first step.

Today, we will cover the theory of escalation.

Most men have an intuitive sense of how to escalate to sex. They begin with a light touch and gradually increase it. Unfortunately, they are often uncalibrated as they do this, which ultimately sparks the girl’s resistance. As a result, many men skip the basics of how to escalate properly. Instead, they interpret her resistance as a natural part of the process and look for “resistance busters” to overcome her objections to sex.

If this sounds like you, read and memorize the next sentence: The best way to deal with resistance is to prevent it from happening in the first place. Shortly, we will discuss the theory of escalation, concentrating on when to escalate to sex. Next week, we will address how quickly to escalate to sex. By keeping this in mind, you will be able to escalate smoothly and will likely dodge much resistance. Remember, resistance may still arise, and in a couple of weeks, I will share tips and tricks for managing those situations effectively.

Why am I focusing so much on resistance and objections to moves? The goal of escalation is to advance seduction and avoid resistance. If it occurs, you should learn to deal with it in a smooth way that also respects her boundaries (and consent). Many guys mess up the escalation process because they fear resistance. I will also discuss this below and offer a perspective that helps remove these fears.

What causes resistance? It is typically the result of poor escalation skills, although this is not always the case. Experienced guys who know how to escalate effectively rarely encounter resistance. Top-tier guys face it only about once a year. To satisfy your curiosity, I will provide a long list of potential causes for resistance below. However, I won’t go into detail about how to address each type, as that would be exhaustive, and more suited for upper-intermediates to advanced guys. Instead, I’ll focus on basic, general rules for appropriate escalation so that you can minimize resistance. I will also explain why this approach is preferable.

Discover the key habits that attract women naturally—and how to build them. Transform your dating life with simple, repeatable routines.

I had an initial consultation call yesterday with a long-time reader and student about a long-term mentorship with me. The reader is in his 40s and looking to meet higher quality girls through day game, which he’s had some struggles getting started with.

He recognized (as I’d expect, having been a reader for so long!) that many of the issues he’s having stem from lack of familiarity. Things like:

• Feeling awkward when he goes out solo to approach

• Missing approach invitations and not realizing it till later

• His mind going blank when he talks to girls in cold approach

• Forgetting to build compliance or focus on the other elements of SAC

Go out enough times, approach enough times, do it enough times while focused on getting each of these areas down, and through practice and repetition it all becomes known, then natural, then, eventually, if you keep at it long enough, more or less unconscious competence.

There’s a lot more in game that is ‘habitual’ than just what you do and say with girls on the approach, however.

In fact, a whole lot of the most important pieces of success with girls can be boiled down to, “Have you built habits that attract women, or have you not?”

Most average men fail with women—but you don’t have to. Here’s why ‘average’ kills attraction and how to rise above it.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Occasionally, I participate in online conversations about pickup. Sometimes, beginners ask me basic questions. I typically don’t identify as a coach for beginners, nor do I promote my coaching services to this group. Most of my content is for intermediate and advanced guys. I often find beginning techniques to be dull and repetitive. However, there are times when I feel compelled to answer questions from beginners.

I’ve recently received a familiar question that has been covered extensively in the past. But considering I’ve been discussing more complex sex talk topics lately, I thought why not take a break and write about something more easygoing? Considering the question I am about to answer is one that rarely catches my attention and that I don’t usually bother to think about, you may find this a good review when reading the answer to a perhaps familiar question by a guy who rarely discusses it.

Can an average guy succeed with women?

After all, somehow average guys (and below) get girlfriends. So it must be doable, right?

I usually ignore this question because it is irrelevant to me. It has no direct effect on your skills. Learning theories and applying the techniques is what truly matters. This may be because I am advanced and am taking a more arrogant and dismissive perspective. Well, not today, my friend.

The quick answer to the question is:

No. Average men cannot succeed with women.

So, are you doomed as a beginner? Well, not exactly. The real question is, are you truly average? See what I did there? I reframed the question, and you should learn this too.

All across the web woke journalists & red pill gurus alike claim women hate being approached. But these folks are lying; women LOVE to be approached by MEN!

Ever since I started Girls Chase way back in 2008, I have had men telling me that women don’t want to be approached by men.

Stop stressing over perfect game! Attraction isn’t about flawless moves—master the 4% that matters most & boost your confidence with women.

This post by Warped Mindless originally appeared on our forum here.

Inner game truth: men seriously arrest their progress with women because of sticky limiting beliefs. Want to achieve the impossible (or unlikely) with girls? You need to let all that go.

In 2001, I, a somewhat taller than average, somewhat more attractive than average, slim American white guy with a deep voice who’d been called “the man” and “bad ass” by the coolest kids in high school and had been chased for dates by the prettiest and most popular girls (and cheerleaders) in high school went to work in a tire store.

There I met Jim, a short, fat, swarthy Puerto Rican tire salesman with a higher-pitched voice who lived in a ramshackle rented single-family home that was really only good for throwing parties.

Jim was the first guy I ever met who was an out-and-out player. He was constantly sleeping with good-looking white girls, such as our boss’s over 6’ modelesque cousin when she visited from England (she had a good 7 inches on him at least). That girl messaged him furiously after returning to England that she couldn’t sleep with her boyfriend anymore because she wanted only Jim now.

Meanwhile, of course, Jim was happily sleeping with more, new girls… not to mention his sweet blonde girlfriend, who went out of her way to bring him sandwiches for lunch at the tire shop.

I’d never been on a date in my life at this point, and despite the attention I got in high school had no idea what to say to girls. I didn’t watch Jim with envy… more like perplexed wonder.

How did he do it? What exactly was he doing to score all these girls?

I never asked him, because I was too proud to ask. Plus if I admitted that I couldn’t get girls I’d look weak. (even though he clearly knew right away anyway)

But I can tell you now, the #1 factor that differentiated 18-year-old Chase from 25-year-old Jim:

I had a ton of limiting beliefs, but Jim had none.

Cold approach is a numbers game. But rejection is exhausting. How do you put the approach numbers in WITHOUT burning out? These 3 steps are the way.

Commenting on my article about dating for autistic men (where I remarked how autistic guys often become ‘approach machines’ who chew through hundreds/thousands of approaches with little to show for it), Sub-Zero asks

I’m just wondering if it takes hundreds to thousands of approaches to get a lay or a few, how are guys still going after getting rejected so much?

If I approached 20 women during day game and couldn’t get a lay, I’d be discouraged. If I did get a lay, but I had to approach 20 more to get another, I’d probably get lazy and take what I can get. So, how are guys getting a lot of lays with all these approaches it seems like you have to focus a lot on doing this, when are you free to do other things?

I think I’ve been misunderstanding cold approaching numbers.

All right, so first off, most men are not autistic. Most guys are not going to need to do hundreds (or God forbid thousands) of approaches to get a single lay off of cold approach.

That said, cold approach is not social circle game. It is going up to talk to strangers to find out who’s available, attracted, and receptive to your game. Many girls you approach won’t be any of those, or maybe some but not all of those.

For this reason, it is and always will be a numbers game.

Like anything that is a numbers game, most guys will try it out, try grinding for a bit, not get much back for their results, and burn out on it.

Getting good at cold approach requires a man to make it past that initial ‘heavy grinding burnout phase’ that serves as a major filter to cold approach success.

Let’s talk about how to do that and avoid taking a walk down cold approach’s ‘wash out lane’.