Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Why Cold Approach Works Better Than Anything Else

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

A reader comments on "How to Think About Women as You Get More Experienced", linking to a discussion on Reddit where a Redditor asks female members about their thoughts on being approached at random, and whether this is nagging them or annoying them... because he feels guilty about it. Here's the link. Our commenter here notes that this discussion has made him question whether he ought to cold approach.

I sympathize if you're newer and haven't started investing time in meeting beautiful strangers yet, and are hesitating before taking the plunge because it looks like a big commitment of time and energy to get good at and a lot of hard knocks and rejections and bumps to overcome along the way.

If you're sitting there wondering whom you ought to listen to, hearing a bunch of people say, "This cold approach malarkey doesn't even work - don't waste your time," can be pretty disheartening.

Maybe even enough to give up on the prospect of even trying in the first place.

But if you walk away from cold approach, you are walking away from one of the single most effective, uplifting, and empowering things you will ever learn to do in any way to improve your dating life, your sex life, your search for the ideal partner, and your own general confidence and happiness to boot. Few things in life will alter the direction of your life as profoundly as the ability to cold approach successfully and effectively.

cold approach

If that's so though - if cold approach really is as markedly effective and life-enhancing as this - why are there so many forces trying to lead you astray?

Fundamentals of NLP: Outcome, Acuity, Flexibility

Drexel Scott's picture

By: Drexel Scott

Note from Chase: Drexel Scott is joining our site as a longtime NLP practitioner and very experienced ladies' man. His approaches to women and psychology are intuitive and often quite insightful - I first really got to get to know him on introduction from Alek. I think and hope you'll enjoy reading his stuff, as he brings yet another flavor to the Girls Chase canon. Here's Drexel's first article with us, on the basics of NLP.

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a communication technique that taps into the inner workings of the mind, allowing for the drawing out of emotions, the seeding of ideas, and the tipping of the scales ever so slightly in the direction you want them to go in any one-on-one (or sometimes more) social interaction you choose to employ it in. While the more advanced areas of NLP require a good bit of training and understanding to execute successfully, some of the more beginner-level aspects of it are very useful for even the casual dabbler in giving himself a social edge.

nlp

It has been said that, if NLP could be taught in a five-minute seminar, it would contain three simple slides. Those three slides would be:

  1. Outcome
  2. Acuity
  3. Flexibility

This simple organization is the skeleton for NLP’s basic method of setting and attaining goals. Of course, it is more complicated than that, and I’ll explain each of the three terms at considerable length in just a moment. As with all skills you learn, develop, or build, your require a solid foundation on which everything else can rest.

In NLP, that foundation is made up of those three principles mentioned above, and expanded upon below.

How to Think About Women as You Get More Experienced

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

think about womenIn the recent article on being happy while leading an unconventional life, a reader asked the following questions about remaining motivated as you become more skilled with women:

“Hey chase!
super article. Especially the point about keeping your mouth shut. One you know about but always need a reminder. Very very important if you want to be a maverick ;). But theres a point i would like your opinion on. It struck to me when read about the cybersatiation part. You have stressed again again the importance of sleeping with girls to get better with them . But what is also important is the hunger to sleep with them. Most of the guys like me are satiated with the responses that girls give . As in there are always 5 or 7 girls in my life which bounce around me and love my company to the extent they would sleep with me. But this creates a feel good factor of temporary satiation which kills my intent at the moment when physical escalation is needed. ( though i fret about it later and am all disappointed.) an article about keeping your intent at the moment so much so that the inner hunger that drives the game would be pretty interesting. What is that goes in the mind of a true seducer at the time of going for the kill? is he lusting over the night to come or is he still not overwhelmed by the situation? my question is because we always here every guy good with girls saying ' oh it just happened i didnt do anything ' the girl just came and fell on my johnson!!:D)”

It's really a two-part question.

In the first part, our reader here, in talking about "cybersatiation", is referring to the part in that article where I talked about the fact that because I'm not on social media, women are unable to slake their curiosity about me by crawling my profiles on these sites, and have to meet up with me in person again - often ending up in my bed - if they want to know more about me... and they usually do.

As you improve with women, you will begin to reach a phase where those women begin to emotionally validate you - they start to tell you you're sexy, to compliment you, to chase after you, and it feels so good that you lose your motivation to actually take them to bed. "That girl is mine if I want her," you tell yourself... except, she isn't yours, and you didn't get her. But how do you avoid this apathy and self-satisfaction setting in, rotting away at your ambition?

The other part was a question about what you're thinking about once you're already quite good with women and you're going through a seduction. How does your brain work in this case?

How and Where to Move Overseas as a Single Man

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

content="The best countries to move to for beautiful, exotic women… plus, TONS of travel hacks to help you get the most out of your move overseas.">

We've periodically had different readers ask about this topic, and I've had it on our list of articles to write up for sometime - how do you move overseas and have it go well? Several of the questions readers have asked:

“Chase, you are a true champ. All your material has really helped with confidence. I have started reading "How to Make a Girl Chase" and plan to start doing the homework assignments once the semester ends ;)

I would be extremely interested in seeing a post about moving abroad, going on that next adventure, getting out of your comfort zone, and "making it all up as you go."”

move overseas

... that's from Lupo in the article on how to be smooth. Here's another:

“Hey Chase, a little off topic but I'd like to see a post on moving out of the country and just traveling with a suitcase around different places. It seems like this would automatically make a person much more interesting by giving them entirely new reference points, as you talked about in the below post. Maybe something about the logistics and psychology of it would be interesting. I'd like to follow in your footsteps to Europe or Asia and leave the boring, expected, average corporate world in my dust.”

... from Anonymous in "Girlfriend Moody? It's in Her Genes (But You Can Fix It)."

So let's talk about it - let's talk moving abroad, traveling overseas, travel hacks, lifestyles, money, food, friends, and women. I've broken this (rather lengthy) article down into four (4) sections, hyperlinked here for ease of browsing:

Should be fun.

3 Behaviors that Let You Connect with Everyone You Meet

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

You know those people who can just walk into a room and instantly become best friends with everyone? It seems like they have some secret quality that makes them charming, magnetic, and completely approachable.

Have you ever wanted to be one of those people? Chances are you have. And I bet you still do.

But I’ll let you in on a little secret: it’s much, much easier than it seems to learn how to connect with people – to anyone and nearly everyone – anywhere, anytime, anyplace.

connecting with people

 

Today I’m going to show you a few simple steps to transform the way you interact with others, and master connecting with people.

Recovering from a Failed Cold Read

Richard Wendell's picture

By: Richard Wendell

Cold reading is an amazingly powerful technique to help you build a quick and strong connection with a girl but sometimes it goes drastically wrong... and instead of responding with coos of amazement, she throws your reading back at you with flat rejection.

failed cold read

All seems lost, but you can salvage the wreck and even turn a rejection into something positive that brings the two of you closer together - and in today's article, I'm going to show you how to do just that.

Being Happy with an Unconventional Life

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

A reader writes in with the following question:

“Hi Chase,

You are one of the best writers on the web about this topic. I am mainly sending this to thank you, and [because] I have something else to also ask, I will get right down to it. You obviously live a type of life that is not the typical 9-5. Society frowns upon it, but you seem to be embrace it. I would also love to do what you do, but I have this fear that I will fail. There is also all the pressure from family and friends to follow a traditional path.

So, Chase, please tell me: How do manage to stay unorthodox and happy?

Your student for life,
Arnold”

unconventional life

It's a good question. I know plenty of people on both the "orthodox" and the "unorthodox" side of things who claim to be "happy", yet whose actions and behaviors betray a deep lack of satisfaction with their lives.

I think most people are lost, and looking, or have given up looking, and meanwhile resent the pressures that others put upon them - whether they kowtow to those pressures, or they struggle against them.

And the people putting those pressures upon them are just as lost and unsatisfied as those they press down on.

This cycle of confusion and dissatisfaction seems to be an inherent quality of human life, and has been down through the ages. One of the things I set out to do a long while ago, though, and seduction was something that fell under the umbrella of this, was not have to worry about this like other people did.

How to Physically Escalate in Public with Girls

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

physical escalationPhysical escalation is how you take things from platonic to sexually loaded and heaving with desire and anticipation with a girl, often in a short span of time. Escalation is often all the difference between being a girl’s friendly guy pal and being her lover.

We’ve covered physical escalation in various forms on this site before:

... however, what I want to focus on in today’s article is a comprehensive look at physical escalation in an interaction with a girl, while out, say, in a bar or on a date. How do you get her aroused, horny, and sexually excited in public with you?

That’s the question I’m answering today.

How to Use Anchoring to Mesmerize Women

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

anchoringI don't talk much about neuro-linguistic programming on here because it's a little less intuitive a topic, its effects are often difficult to discern, and you require a certain way about yourself to really pull much of NLP off to good effect (i.e., a very calming, soothing, entrancing manner).

One concept often associated with NLP I feel you should absolutely be aware of, though, is anchoring; namely because it's one that is fairly simple to get your mind around, at least at a basic level, but has profound effects throughout the course of an interaction, and a seduction.

Anchoring is a cognitive effect - it occurs in the mind - that happens with everyone, is nearly unavoidable, and very much influences future feelings, actions, and decisions.

Use it properly, and you can not only steer women in the direction you want to go more easily, but you can actually direct their emotions to a greater degree than you'd be able to without it.

Why to Throw Out the 1-to-10 Scale for Rating Women

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

1-to-10 scaleBefore stumbling into the world of pickup in late 2005, I'd never used the 1-to-10 scale. Maybe that's because I didn't really have friends; I wasn't comparing notes on girls. Or maybe it was because I wasn't trying to impress anyone by telling him I'd nailed a "total 10."

But in pickup, it seemed everyone used the 1-to-10 scale. Girls were 5s, 6s, 7s, 8s, 9s. Debate raged about whether a girl could ever really be a "perfect 10", or if true "10s" were naught but a myth.

Men would post photographs of the girls they slept with, and label a girl an "8", only for other men to chime in and ridicule them: "Dude, THAT girl is an 8? She's a 6, at best! Stop inflating your ratings!"

Then those same men doing the ridiculing would post pictures of girls that they were dating, and claim that these girls were "8s" or "9s"... and they wouldn't look any different from the women those men had just finished calling "5s" and "6s."

If all this seems silly, trite, and petty to you... it is. It's no better than other form of status jockeying and social ladder climbing, where guys try to seize bragging rights and "prove their worth", frequently by simply reporting the number rating of the girls they've gotten and trusting that everyone else knows what that means.

But not only is the 1-to-10 scale highly subjective and an absolutely terrible metric to use for comparing results across multiple individuals... but it destroys your ability to get truly beautiful women, too.