Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Why Sucking with Women Might be Good for You

I wonder how many of you fellow sexy men can identify with being a “hard case”? For how many of you is learning seduction, becoming a better, sexier man, and getting better with women not just a way to “have more control over your sex life”, but also a vital necessity, because otherwise “settling down” in the evening would be beyond your reach?

How many of you found this site not after a bad break-up (or several) but because you’ve never even had someone to have a bad break-up with in the first place?

When I first started on this path I was like that – completely, utterly terrible with women and seemingly beyond repair. So much so, that it took me YEARS just to get that first lay.

I remember thinking how much I hated the fact that I was struggling with something that came naturally to others.

Even though I had one friend at the time who impressed me immensely with his sexual conquests, his results were so far from my reality that even in my wildest dreams I couldn’t imagine that one day I’d be in a position where, like him, sex was just a few text messages and a drink or two away. Or that I’d compete with another natural buddy for the same women in bars (for mutual self-amusement) and be the one taking them home more often than not.

No, during those early years I would’ve sold my soul just to be “normal”; to find a nice, simple girl, who would like me (alright, who are we kidding, I would’ve settled with “tolerate me”); one who I could treat like a princess and be monogamous with. I had those fantasies despite knowing full well that it wouldn’t work long-term and that I would never feel fulfilled being monogamous; restrained.

suck with women

But for me even this “Plan B” was not in the cards.

It’s funny, but looking back, I consider myself to be very fortunate to not even have had the option to succumb to this temptation. Or, simply said, being completely terrible with women was one of the best things that happened in my life, as it pushed me not to resort to the seductive mistress that is mediocrity.

I’ll be frank – with this article my goal is not to teach you anything in particular, maybe just show a different way to look at your current circumstances.

This article is meant to motivate, to keep you going after a night out or a date when nothing really worked and you’re lying in your bed, lonely and wondering how much more wonderful life would be if only you could be “like normal guys” or if you “had a nice girlfriend” (or something similarly silly).

This article is also going to be very personal, as I will share some of the most embarrassing moments from my learning process and how “taking a beating” early resulted in disproportionate rewards later in life.

And in the same regard, I would like this article to be a sort of introduction. You’ve probably already seen my articles on becoming physically sexy (fashion, grooming), but the stories I’m about to share will set the context for some of the articles I will be writing in the future, and you’ll be able to have a better understanding of my background, my style, the way I do things, and, in turn, decide if that’s something you want for yourself or if maybe another author’s style is more suitable to you.

How to Ramp Up Social Momentum (and Meet Loads of Girls)

By: Alek Rolstad

Hi everyone, hope you are doing well. If you haven’t seen many posts from me lately, it is not because I have been busy, but more that we have had a lot of article submissions from both new and old writers, which in itself should be good news for you.

The topic of today is social momentum.

Social momentum is a mental state (hence also the reason many people in the seduction community refers to this as “state” – “being in state”) where you feel in a social mood where you don’t only feel like socializing with people, but also manage to do so smoothly.

When approaching strangers, you will feel like your openings are smooth as butter – the reactions you will be getting from your approaches will most of the time be positive, and if that is not the case, you won’t bother about it and move on to the next girl/group. When you have social momentum, not only will you feel a boost of energy, but you will feel very social and stop fearing rejections.

So there are a few nice benefits of social momentum:

You won’t fear rejections, so you will approach much more
Due to your higher level of initial confidence, your approaches will tend to be smoother and your success rate will be higher
You will have more fun, obviously

Compared to many other theories in pick-up and seduction, with this one there is a consensus that social momentum is a powerful factor. Everybody agrees that once you build enough social momentum, picking up women becomes much easier and smoother. You just feel on fire – you are the god of the night and nothing can stop you. We will discuss in this post how you can reach it.

However, where the opinion differs is our attitude toward it – should we depend on it or not? Should we give up and go home if we haven’t built social momentum? If not, what can we do if we don’t feel in the mood to socialize? All these questions and more will be answered in this post.

The Genuine Man, Part 6: A Lover Of Women

By: Hector Castillo

Welcome back to the path, folks. We’re making good progress.

So far in this series we’ve covered:

How to become arrogant and eradicate fear
The myth of the “heartless player” and the risks of arrogance
How to cultivate humility, sheathe your arrogance, and develop true power
How to love people, learn from them, and take responsibility for others’ feelings

lover of women

And in the most recent article we examined a host of poisonous beliefs about women and how we knowingly or unknowingly cultivate these beliefs. It’s vital that you find any beliefs like this within yourself and, even more importantly, realize how they’re hindering your progress with women and your satisfaction in your relationships with them.

Egomania, the Blindness You Were Born Into

By: Cody Lyans

We are all infected.

The Walking Dead is one of the most popular TV-series in the world right now. It is a show about survivors of a zombie apocalypse and their struggle to stay alive... at least on the surface. However, underneath all the blood and gore is actually a show about egos and the stress we feel when things in life don’t go as planned (as usually is the case). One of the strongest themes underlying the show is growth of egomaniacal characters in their quest to “survive”.

The show brings up questions that draw a fine line between what it takes to survive and what it means to go too far. The show is just a fiction, but part of its appeal is that it reflects a lot of people’s concerns and struggles with the question of “what is really necessary?” and “what is egomaniacal?”

One of the main concepts of the show is “we are all infected”, which we can translate roughly to: we are all one mistake or slip away from becoming someone else’s nightmare. If we give up, quit, become a burden, choose an easy path to “survival”, we become the problem for the few left who haven’t.

Are we takers? Or do we walk the line?

Well, for those of you who don’t watch the show, don’t worry, I only bring it up because the topic of this article is egomania, and the famous line “we are all infected” is a good starting point for discussing it.

The number one problem beginners and intermediate guys have with seduction is that they believe they are immune to egomania and don’t need to address it. You think you couldn’t possibly be a bad guy and so never consider that it’s quite possible you are.

Beginners complain and whinge and cry about how THEY are special, about how THEY are the exception to every rule, because they are overwhelmed and surprised by the sheer aggressiveness of reality and how HARD it bitch slaps them into taking responsibility onto their shoulders.

Guys will resort to anything to avoid real improvement:

Ask a girl they only sort of like to marry them
Abandon responsibilities as a decent dad and become a drunk
Avoid women entirely and resort to a porn oasis to get by

Our mistakes often aren’t THAT drastic, normally it is a bit of cynicism here, a few nasty edged decisions there, and an indulgence on occasion that screws over someone you don’t know now and then.

You figure, “Hey? What is the harm?” and you get into the habit of sucking, until one day a responsibility is too big, and BAM, you become the bad guy you swore you never would be.

Egomania is a real thing and you START OFF infected.

Female Neuropsychology: Arousal, Talking, Passivity, and More

By: Joseph W. South

If you’re a red-blooded heterosexual male who has ever interacted with a female, you will likely agree with the spiritual guru and relationship coach David Deida when he describes the differences between masculine and feminine thinking as like being in two completely different universes.

female neuropsychology

The good news is, for perhaps the first time ever, we can truly begin to understand how females think and the reasons why. We’ve learned to translate certain female thought patterns and actions into something much more comprehensible to the average masculine mind.

I would love to see the topic of Female Neuropsychology taught to men at school! Many marriages would be saved and many couples would be happier. While that’s not likely in the near future, let me try to shed some light on this complex topic for you.

Since the beginning of time, women have tended to be more refined in their understanding of male sexual neuropsychology; they simply needed such skills for physical survival in a world dominated by large, aggressive men. Women are usually completely silent about their deep knowledge of the male psyche and sexuality though. I believe this silence – playing the fool, as it were – is the result of two factors:

The female need to manipulate the male into a Provider role for reasons of survival; and
The female need for social acceptance, or “Social Status Preservation” (aka Anti-Slut Defense), whenever female promiscuity is punished. The corollary to Anti-Slut Defense in women is the Madonna/whore Complex in men, which I will discuss at length in a later article.

Deciding When to Use Physical vs. Verbal Game

By: Alek Rolstad

Some claim that physical game is better than verbal because it can be easier to pull off and more efficient. In my last article, we discussed the pros and cons of both methods.

In today’s article, however, we will discuss the pros and cons of both based on the specific context. The main question of this post is: which of the two types of game should you choose: physical (non-verbal) or verbal?

physical vs. verbal

It is not like you can use verbal game in all situations. In some situations physical escalation might not be ideal (think of a situation where you caveman a girl in front of her friends…).

And maybe one of these game types might be better fitted for your personality or your mood.

Identifying what is better for what situation is what this post is all about.

Sexy Man’s Grooming Guide, Part 4: Styling Your Hair

By: Darius Bright

Welcome to the last part of our article series on sexy man’s grooming. In this series we’ve already covered:

This last piece will expand further on dealing with our hair and will cover the daily realities of looking our best, because, as you’ll soon realize, no matter how stylish the hairdresser made your haircut and no matter how great it looked after you left the salon, it’s your ability to make it presentable in the morning or before a night out that will make the actual difference of whether you look stylish and sexy or as if someone drove over a raccoon on your head.

men's hair styling

The process is actually quite simple when we know what we’re doing, but because there’s a lot of misinformation and limiting beliefs about men’s hair styling (no, conditioner is not something that only women should use) it’s a little problematic for most guys to figure out where to start.

I’m sure, like me, at least once in your life you found yourself in a store’s hair care section, looking at the countless options of shampoos, conditioners, and styling products available, wondering what the hell are they all supposed to do, whether you should get one that says “Epic Shine”, “Massive Volume”, “Instant Repair”, or “Now With Extra Fairy Dust!”, just to get frustrated and get something that sounds manly, like “Fusion”, “V8”, or “Turbo Mega Ice Energy SPORT”, ignoring the fact that those names have nothing to do with hair.

So with this article I’d like to help make your hair care routine effective, practical, and simple, which means focusing on the essentials that will lead to the best results instead of trying to learn everything there is to know about hair care.

We’ll start with figuring out what our hair care routine should look like, discuss the most popular styling products and which ones and when you should use them, and lastly we’ll discuss some of the miscellaneous questions that you might have.

The Genuine Man, Part 5: How to Not Hate Women

By: Hector Castillo

Welcome back to the journey! Hope you enjoyed the loving in the last article.

So far, we’ve covered:

In Part 1: how to become arrogant and eradicate fear
In Part 2: the myth of the heartless player and the risks of arrogance
In Part 3: how to cultivate humility and temper arrogance
In Part 4: how to love people, learn from them, and take responsibility for others’ feelings

Before we start to develop a healthy love for women, we’re going to identify the venomous thoughts we have about them... because all these things are deep, entrenched obstacles to happy relationships, a stable psyche, and true, breakout, to-the-rooftops-good success.

hate women

Day Game 101: What Comes After the Approach

By: Jeff Stanton

In the first part of my Day Game series, “Day Game 101, Part I: Basics and Fundamentals”, you learned all of the fundamentals of meeting women during the day time. In the second part, “Day Game 101: A New Way to Open”, you learned how to overcome one of the biggest hurdles: how not only to approach women, but approach them in the most optimal way possible, i.e., by making it seem like it was fate.

I really hope you guys have been approaching women and working on the fundamentals. If you want to master day game you really need to focus and grasp those fundamentals!

While the fundamentals are highly important, it’s also important to have a plan on what to do once you are actually talking to a beautiful woman during the day. That’s where Part 3 comes in. Hold onto your seats because we about to go on a wild ride...

The Healthy Relationship Questionnaire: Is Yours Healthy... or Not?

By: Colt Williams

Many people wonder whether or not their relationship is healthy. They ask themselves:

“Am I with the right person?”
“Are we truly compatible?”
“Is this relationship headed in the right direction?”
“Am I making the right decision by being with this person?”

These are all valid, albeit difficult, questions to answer.

So today, I wanted to do something a little bit different. I wanted to flip the script a bit and format this post as a questionnaire. I’ve called it, oh-so-creatively, The Healthy Relationship Questionnaire. It is designed to show you the positive aspects of a healthy relationship AND the negative aspects of an unhealthy relationship, in order to help you gauge what kind of relationship you are in.

The most important key here is to be honest with yourself about your situation. Now, that may sound easy, but there is something about love that seems to throw logic and clear thinking right out the window. But all I ask is that you do your best.

For each positive category you find yourself in, you will get one (1) point. For each negative category, you will get zero (0). At the end we will tally up your points and you can see the results as to how healthy – or unhealthy – your relationship may be.

So let’s get to it!

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