Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Pacing and Leading a Girl on a Date or in Bed

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

pacing and leading
Pacing and leading is a potent neurolinguistic programming (NLP) technique used to first match someone’s state, then lead her. It’s extremely useful in dating and seduction.

Ok, so I decided to get into more practical stuff. During the summer I tend to go out so much more, which motivates me to write about more practical stuff.

Before I jump into it, a caveat: this post will be most useful for advanced players.

Sure, as a beginner, there will be a few things in this post that you will enjoy. That being said, this is not what a novice should focus on at first – there are fundamentals that are more key to focus on.

However, if you are an intermediate or even an advanced player, you should absolutely pay attention.

Today’s topic is pacing and leading, a very powerful technique that will allow you to drag people into your reality with little to no resistance. Pacing and leading is a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) technique that will help increase your chances of dragging people comfortably into your reality. Most people are not comfortable being led into a different world, and hence put up their defense mechanism. Pacing and leading allows you to hook them in, lower their guards, and smoothly drag them into you world.

This sounds probably super fancy to you who are new to the concept – and one can make very complicated posts related to this subject. I tend to see many books (many bad books) covering NLP and related subjects that are filled with mental masturbation and over-complications. I will therefore make an understandable, straight-to-the-point post – and you will see... it is not rocket science after all.

So here is how we will do it in this post. I will:

  • Cover the mechanism by which this concept works
  • Show different ways of using the technique
  • Share a few examples

When Day Game Gets You Fewer Dates and Lays, What Then?

Francesco Toggianini's picture

By: Francesco Toggianini

day game frustration
It’s frustrating if your results from day game aren’t what they used to be. To solve the riddle of what’s happened, first you need to know what’s changed.

Hello everyone, it’s been a while. Have you ever felt frustrated because you were not getting any results at all from day game?

Or even worse (paradoxically), because you were so successful in recent weeks/months but are now not getting the same results, you feel like you’re crashing?

Well, I guess that happens to everyone, and it’s an annoying feeling for sure, but don’t panic. Let’s dive in a little bit and see what we can do.

I will divide this article into two parts:

  1. What to do if you’ve never been able to make day game work for you

  2. What to do if your day game results peak, then start to fall off or decline

I’ll will cover Part 1 with just a few lines, since there is enough material for beginners on this website already to keep you busy reading for a few weeks. But I will dive deeper into Part 2, which reflects what I’ve been through in the past months and is directed more specifically to intermediate/advanced day game practitioners.

8 Mustache Styles Girls Go Nuts For

Guest Contributor's picture

By: Guest Contributor

mustache styles
Mustaches are back in styles. But what mustache style looks best? In this article, we review 8 of the sexiest mustache styles men rock.

Mustaches used to be the epitome of a tasteless image. Men with mustaches were considered cheap, vulgar, and sometimes lewd. But with the renaissance of interest in facial hair, mustaches are once again coming to be seen a mark of the refined, sophisticated, and polished man.

But be careful, because simply allowing a tuft of hair to grow somewhere on the upper lip will not do the trick. A good looking mustache that will be a hit with women requires dedication and commitment to grooming, styling, and maintenance. You will also want to do your homework on which style of mustache goes well with your facial type and your overall demeanor.

In this article, we will look at some biological and evolutionary reasons that women might find the mustache to be desirable, why the mustache is once again flourishing in modern day society, and the eight (8) mustache styles that can best help you score.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Screen Out Gold Diggers

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

gold digger
Gold diggers can be a problem, especially if you’re richer than the girls you’re meeting. However, there are two (2) ways to reliably screen them out.

In my discussion of the belief some guys hold that “women are evil”, a reader named SBM asks:

“The question is though, how do you screen for gold-diggers? How can you find out whether or not a girl you’re taking out on a date is in fact a gold-digger?”

It’s a good question!

I, for one, love girls who are sexy, fashionable, and confident. These are tempting qualities for me in any girl. However, one of the drawbacks of qualities like this is that they’re often – perhaps even most often – found in gold diggers.

And while I’m not wealthy enough to attract top-flight gold diggers looking for a payout all of the time, I dress well enough that I get approached by them sometimes in the U.S. (particularly in Las Vegas, that seedy den of predatory gold digging paradise). And I run into them in Eastern Europe and Asia.

Some guys like gold diggers, or are comfortable with the exchange gold diggers want. If you’re such a guy, who thinks it’s perfectly reasonable for a girl to trade her looks for your resources and financial security, this article won’t be of much interest to you. Or maybe it will be, as a kind of reverse technique. Just do the opposite of it and you’ll attract the gold diggers and repel the girls who don’t believe in this trade.

However, if you’re like me, and you dislike the foundation gold digging rests upon, then read on, and let’s talk how to screen these girls out.

7 Dating Mistakes that Doom Men’s Love Lives

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dating mistakes
You’ve hit a plateau and just can’t get results with girls. When this happens, it’s down to at least 1 of the 7 common dating mistakes.

In my article on overcoming loser mentality, a reader named Sub-Zero comments:

“I didn’t mean to confuse you with my comments about not approaching and everything, but I do approach and have practiced stuff from your site.

what I mean about not approaching is mostly day time and night street game.

I just haven’t gone up to girls during the day time and approached them or tried to pick them up.

I do mostly grind on girls at the club, and I talk to them as well, but the grinding part is mostly my approach, I sometimes go into convo and get numbers.

I have used techniques from this site, and have gotten lays from it.

it’s just hard for me to put myself out there to potentially get rejected and wasting my time. I always have felt like think that since I was young.

that is how I feel, but I know I can’t feel like that.

I have been here for years and I should be better than where I am at, I have gotten numbers, deep dived, but i haven’t gotten many dates even though I’ve been here for years.

maybe you see something I don’t.

I didn’t realize I have been on my head so much until you pointed it out.

I do approach, but I don’t really count them because it’s not like day game approach, I feel like that is really cold approaching.”

Sub-Zero’s commented multiple times in the past that what he wants is to have lots of success with women, and in particular he wants to have lots of success with women 10 years his junior.

These things are, of course, achievable.

The problem is that how he goes about achieving these objectives (and how many guys do) is flawed. He makes a number of very key dating mistakes.

I’ve seen time and again guys frustrated with their results making one or more of these same dating mistakes. The mistakes all center around the same error: the guy gets too caught up on doing certain little things, and misses the big picture.

So, to shake you out of any of these mistakes you may be making, today I want to shine a light on the seven (7) biggest dating mistakes men make... And what you need to do to overcome them.

Poll: What Questions Do You Have About Texting?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

We’ve had a few folks ask for this for a while, so what we’ve finally decided to do is take collections of Girls Chase articles on related subjects and bind them into books available in ePub and paperback format via Amazon.

The “I Have to Get Every Girl” Insecurity

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

get every girl
Ever feel bad because random girls don’t like you? This is the “I have to get every girl insecurity” – and it can lose you dates and lays.

Not so long ago, I was out with a girlfriend. I’d just left a café I was working at to meet her, waiting outside. When I got there, I greeted her, and then she pointed me to a girl next to her I hadn’t met before. “This is my friend,” she said.

I glanced at the friend, and she glanced at me, and I saw a half-second automatic expression of displeasure flash across her face, before she forced a smile and said hi. I said hello. And I laughed to myself.

The friend wasn’t particularly attractive (she wasn’t ugly; just ordinary). The reaction could’ve been because she didn’t like my look / something about me, or it could’ve been because I accidentally (instinctively) checked her out quickly upon turning toward her (and she didn’t like my look / something about me). I can’t really help it, it’s just an automatic thing, and it excites girls who like me but turns off the ones who don’t.

Either way, once I excused myself to use the toilet, but before I returned, I thought about this interaction, and realized that while this did not bother me now, four or five years ago I’d have taken it personal and felt hurt. And I thought back and realized I’ve seen plenty of this (girl flashes me a look of distaste; I find it amusing), and it hasn’t bothered me in a good long while.

A girl was rejecting me – right? That’s a negative judgment.

But I got a kick out of it. So what’s changed?

7 Quick Tips to Help You Learn Seduction Faster

Denton Fisher's picture

By: Denton Fisher

learn seduction
Seduction is a terrific skill to learn, yet it takes time. Note-taking, watching the best, and turning your phone off are 3 of 7 big wins that speed up the process.

I take the seduction of women very seriously. It is my life, you can say.

Over the years, I have acquired many different strategies and techniques to improve and sharpen my skills.

This week I decided to delve into a few things I do to keep sharp and on top of my craft. As such, I’ve written about seven (7) quick techniques I use to make sure I am at the top of my field... And which will help you learn seduction fast.

Here they are.

Take Her Side in Interpersonal Conflicts

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

take her side
You’ve met a girl and it’s going great. But suddenly, she winds up in a conflict with somebody else. What do you do and how do you behave?

I apologize for the title. I couldn’t think of any way to word it that didn’t sound like some kind of feminist “men need to step up and be supporters of women” piece. It may start off sounding like it’s going to be one of those articles, but bear with me, because you’ll quickly see it isn’t. This is a tactical piece designed to help you put more girls in your bed.

So, what do you do when a girl you’re trying to pick up, date, or sleep with lands herself into an interpersonal conflict?

This is a simple post, but it has the potential to raise some hackles. It shouldn’t though. Let me address those hackles right off the bat:

  • We’re not talking about agreeing with her on political/etc. issues

  • We’re not talking about you pedestalizing her or thinking she’s always right

  • And I will not tell you to not disagree with her (disagreeing can actually boost attraction!)

Instead, what this article is about is the emotional element involved in any kind of interpersonal conflict between her and another group. This will be the case whether actual (there, in the moment; e.g., her versus some snippy chick) or related (a story she tells you about something that happened).

You need to take her side.

If you’re a guy who likes to stay balanced and not get involved in other people’s drama, you will tend to not do this, and instead be the ‘voice of reason’.

But the game of seduction is about you and her, united. If you try being the voice of reason while you’re also trying to get her in bed, most of the time you’re going to shoot your own darn foot off.

16 Ways Sales and Dating Overlap (and 11 Ways They Don’t)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

sales and dating
Sales has a lot in common with dating. If you know one field, it helps you do well in the other. Where do the two fields overlap the most? 16 key places.

In my article “The Beginning is the Hardest Part”, commenter Carver Montana requests an article on where sales and seduction overlap:

“Hey Chase,

Thanks for another great article!

As I was reading the start of it, I got to thinking... I’ve seen you mention your experience in sales a number of times throughout your articles. From what I can gather, it was one of the things that helped you in various ways to ultimately become better with women.

Now, normally when you write about your sales experience, you seem to relate it pick up more or less indirectly. For example, you tell a story about how you went from being looked down upon by your co-workers to eventually gaining their respect, and then you relate that to an article about rising through the social ranks and so on. But I am curious as to why I’ve never seen you write about how sales pertain more directly to pick up.

I know a bit about sales myself (I’m an online marketer) and I know that there is a lot of overlap between the psychology of sales and that of pick up. No doubt you’re keenly aware of this. Hell, I even see you using common sales terminology, such as “closing” and “buying temperature.”

I feel like an article on the similarities between sales and pick up could be a good read. It would be nice to see on the site, if you think it would be appropriate ;)”

Carver is right – I’ve referenced sales repeatedly throughout my writing. Some articles on here directly pull from my sales experience. Much of the terminology in the pickup / seduction world comes from sales terminology as well (though I should that terminology was already in place when I discovered pickup). And I do toss in sales anecdotes and sales analogies pretty often.

So, what exactly is the overlap between seduction and sales? Is there a perfect analogy between the two, or are there places the two don’t connect as well?

Let’s give you some tools to better compare the two. Along the way, if you’re familiar with sales you might find a few extra tools you can apply in your courtships that perhaps you haven’t applied already. And if you’re not familiar with sales, but you are familiar with seduction, you may just find sales less alien territory for you than you might think.