Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Turn On Your Girlfriend with Raw Sexual Enthusiasm

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

turn your girlfriend onI just had a conversation with a friend where he mentioned having a casual girlfriend of his giving him some drama and deliberately (and clearly intentionally) trying to get under his skin at the end of a normal night for the two of them.

What's a normal night look like?

  • She comes over to his place

  • They sit down to have some dinner

  • After dinner, they get in bed and watch a movie

  • After the movie, before nodding off to sleep, they have sex

In this case, my friend's girl started being resistant to sex after the movie, then asking him if he was annoyed, trying to get a rise out of him. Eventually she ended up leaving without sex occurring (normally, not something you want happening too much).

At first, I cringed... but then I realized, hey wait a minute; that's what my routine used to look like with casual and serious girlfriends alike back in the day too.

The main problem with this? It doesn't turn on your girlfriend... in fact, it's something of a turn off.

Nowadays, I structure my evenings with girlfriends very differently; and if you want women going crazy for you (instead of playing annoying drama head games with you), I suggest you make some tweaks too.

Your Beliefs Aren't Real

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

I recently had dinner with a group of friends. Among this group was a young Mormon couple, the male of whom was a former missionary. He was one of those cool religious guys you meet, with a clear sense of purpose, and a fire behind his eyes that told you he knew who he was and what he stood for and what he was meant to do in this world. We had some good conversation about life, travel, and business.

After we parted ways from them, the girl I was with asked me how people can find purpose in religion. "Well," I said, "for him, from his point of view and what he believes, he knows with absolute confidence and certainty that if he spreads the Word of God and brings more people to the faith, and if he leads a good life and does what he's supposed to and avoids temptation and sin, when all's said and done and his time on this planet is past, he'll ascend to heaven and he'll be buddies with God and will be at peace for the rest of eternity."

My girl looked at me quizzically. "How can anybody believe that?" she asked, genuinely surprised.

beliefs aren't real

"Because some people told them about it, and they thought it sounded reasonable, so they believed it," I replied.

"That's not a good reason!" she said.

"Well, let me ask you something," I said. "You believe in evolution, right? That people come from monkeys, which come from rats, which come from fish... all that?"

"Yes," she said.

"Okay," I continued. "Have you studied evolution in a laboratory environment yourself and seen the evidence up close to make sure it's real?"

"No," she said.

"Well," I said, "have you ever actually seen evolution happen?"

She paused a moment, realizing where I was going with this. "No," she said.

"Then how do you know evolution actually happens?" I asked. She didn't answer. "It's because people told you it does, and it sounded reasonable to you, and you believed it... isn't it?"

Cognitive Dissonance and Upset Commenters

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Somewhat less polished article than usual today... my computer's in the shop, so I'm having to put things together on a rather dated machine instead of my usual one.

A reader wrote in to give me a tongue lashing for being insecure, brainwashing men, and leading people astray - away from loving themselves, their soul mates, and God. Here's what he had to say:

cognitive dissonance

“Hey Chase,

So I used to be on this site until I realized a few things. Firstly, you're a very insecure man who is brainwashing men into learning a 'skill' which they should not be learning. I believe there is a God-given person for anyone, and regardless of whether or not you think that is 'feel good nonsense' is up to you. A girl left you and because of that you felt like you needed to change. Ever think that maybe she just wasn't right for you? Ever think that you could find a girl who likes you for who you are, but you just got to be patient? Ever think that it's okay to be yourself and to want to be efficient and get things done fast only if you want to? Your website is based on complex logic-based ideological nonsense that appeals to vulnerable young and old men who have typically been through hard times with women and are looking for a solution. Sure you can learn how to make money, get the best body, etc.; we live in a progress-based society. On the other hand, when you are trying to teach people a skill, which is not yours or anyone else's right to teach, then that's crossing the line. Deep down, you know it's wrong, and despite the fact that it works (I can vouch for that), it's morally wrong. You don't need to sleep with women for them to stick around. Most of them will stick around, and you're right about that, but really think about what's the point of doing that. If a girl is meant for YOU then she will like YOU for the nerdy, efficient, intelligent, socially awkward person that you naturally are. SIMPLE. Chase, please give your head a shake, bro. I know what you're saying is true and works, I know if you get the girl to pay it works, I know chase frames work, etc. Please just take a moment and think 'Why would I want a girl who doesn't like me for who I am?' Don't fight your core self, try to change your voice, and who you are. Do it if you want, but the girl you end up with will like you for you. Marriage may not be a big deal to you, but it is a God-given way for 2 people who love each other to demonstrate that; you're just taking a completely logic-based approach, which is one that society tries to conform us into due to its progress-based nature, but if you know what's good for you, you'll take a moment and seriously rethink what you are doing, and get your insecurities sorted out, because you have some serious work to do my friend :).

All the best,
Former member”

I have a pretty good idea who this individual is, because he routinely comes on here leaving similar comments. If it's the person I think, he's a guy who was very religious, then decided he was going to learn how to be good with girls, then, before he could actually get any experience with women, decided that being good with girls was morally reprehensible and that he should go back to being very religious again. I've nothing against religious people personally, but flip-flopping is just annoying.

If there's a God, He's probably pretty annoyed with it too. God and I are both annoyed.

I'd take the time to respond point-by-point here - except I've already done that, in this article from two years ago: "Just Be Yourself: The Worst Dating Advice Known to Man." If you're curious about my response to the line of reasoning espoused in the above comment, just read that article - I wrote it specifically so I wouldn't have to keep repeating myself every time somebody decides to challenge why anyone needs to bother with self-improvement, dating advice, treating yourself as your own greatest project and investment, etc.

And the morality issue - "You know it's wrong to teach men about women!" - has been previously addressed here: "Is Seduction Wrong?"

(also worth adding, for clarity's sake - I started improving myself with women when I had almost zero prior success with women and was alone and friendless, not because a girl "had left me," although this does seem to be a common origin story for men in the dating advice niche; and I score 35% on OkCupid's "How Insecure Are You, Really... Test," which you can draw your own conclusions about)

Anyway, what I'm actually primarily interested in discussing here is the emotional reaction - why do people get upset and feel like they need to go on a crusade to silence you when they know you don't think as they do?

Why is it about other people's ideas that make them so... frightening? I mean, they're just ideas... right?

Make Her Orgasm Hard from Sex in 8 Minutes or Less

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

I've had men ask me to write about my methods on how to make a girl orgasm since 2007, when I first mentioned the results I get with sex online... and I've always declined to write them.

I didn't mind sharing what I did to pick up a girl. That's just a process.

But sex... that's an experience. And I've somewhat jealously guarded how to create the kind of experience I like creating for women through sex.

make a girl orgasm

My goals with sex were the same as my goals with seduction: sex to me should be

  1. Powerfully effective,
  2. Efficient to execute, and
  3. Easy to do

Once I started working on getting sex down as a skill, I was able to give girls relatively hard orgasms within 10 or 15 minutes, on average. I gradually cut this down to about 5 to 10 minutes or so.

And right away, I was stacking powerful multiple orgasms from penetrative vaginal sex, one after another - the holy grail of sex performance for most men.

All those other guys out there were talking about giving girls orgasms with their hands or mouths... I laughed at that. I was giving them orgasms with ME.

And I didn't want to talk about it... because sex is the great differentiator. If everybody else knows how to do what I know how to do in the sack, well, all those rip-roaring orgasms I just gave her aren't really anything all that special... she can go get that from anybody.

But what I've realized over the years is, no matter how clear you make something for someone, no matter how simply you present it to him... if it requires even a little bit of work, most men are unlikely to ever use it.

If you use these techniques with the women you sleep with, it will change sex, women, and relationships for you forever.

But most men are never going to bother.

So, fears of getting out-competed by men using my own techniques against me set aside, I'm going to share with you how you can make girls orgasm hard, fast, and multiple times, using nothing but your member - and a little bit of work.

How to Treat a Woman: Like a Queen, or Like a Whore?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to treat a womanOne common stumbling block for men who are rusty or inexperienced is deciding how to treat a woman. Should you treat her unfailingly well... or should you treat her in some other way?

In fact - particularly if you're new, or around women you consider "out of your league" - you may find yourself walking on eggshells around women you like, afraid of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing and causing such a girl to lose her temper with you and storm off in disgust.

So how do you treat her?

You may have heard this pithy remark before:

“You treat a queen like a whore and a whore like a queen.”

And today we're going to examine how that applies to the women you meet in day-to-day life.

I see some fellas out there nodding in agreement with this statement; "Aye, that's the way to do it!" they're saying to themselves.

I also see some guys out there shrinking back in terror; "You can't possibly expect me to treat a queen like a whore and a whore like a queen, can you?" they ask, all the color running out of their faces. "They'll hate me! I want them to love me!"

As it were, there's a lot of knowledge packed into this brief phrase - but to a point.

In this article, we're going to break this mentality down, dig into the queen/whore dichotomy, and see exactly why treating one like the other can provide you a boost most men won't ever experience.

Frame Control Examples: Out-Frame Anyone

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

frame controlIn "How to Talk About Yourself on Dates," a commenter named Al asked about an article on frame control - examples and advanced/detailed technique:

“One future article I would love to see is a more advanced and detailed article on frame control. I have read a forum thread by you on advanced frame control which was beneficial and your frame control article on here but I feel I need more real life examples of adroit frame control to be able to master it myself.

To put it in to context this last month I have just been focused on reading conversation articles on here as this has been my little "month of conversation" (convenient you slip this article in before the end of the month!) and I found the most valuable article of yours was the annotated example of a conversation you would have. Personally, i find learning by imitating helps initially for all game-related things before i stamp my own persona on how these are used so such an article would be fantastic.

Thanks again,
Al”

Frame control's a neat topic, and an important one - persuasion and communication is a central point of human existence, and if you want to stay in control and have things go your way, you've got to be good at it - not just at winning debates, but at getting people to see things your way.

That's what frame control really is - it's painting the picture in a way that not only speaks to you, but to everyone who's looking at it... your "opponent" included.

Here, we'll be taking a deeper look at frame control than we have before, and it's a look chock full of examples to get you thinking about things in the most intuitive way possible.

Carnival of Dating Advice, 23rd Edition

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

carnival of dating advice

Welcome, friends, to the 23rd Edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice, bringing you some of the best latest articles in dating, relationships, psychology, and more from around the web.

Today you'll find articles served up on topics as varied as dealing with your own emotions - whether about success or a cheating partner; on figuring out how to get more results when it feels like you're doing everything you possibly can (and still not seeing any); and articles on busyness, uninhibited sex, and being a gentleman.

Without further ado...

What’s Different When You Talk to a Hot Girl?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Do you need to do things different when talking to a hot girl?

One of the most ridiculous things I see in the comments section of this website sometimes is this:

“This is stupid. It only works on average looking girls... it would NEVER work on a hot girl / a beautiful girl / a real 10.”

talk to a hot girl

No qualification is given to the argument, or the experience level of the argument-maker.

There's no evidence to back the statement up.

There's no alternative solution offered.

It's just a random, unqualified wave-of-the-hand dismissal, hanging there in space, pooh-poohing 2,000+ words of case-making with what amounts to the esteemed argument of "Nope - you're wrong, I'm right, no proof necessary, I just know it! Case closed."

I see it on all kinds of articles. Everything from how to flirt with women, to how to hold a conversation with a girl, to how to handle logistics. It's indiscriminate... to believe these commenters is to believe that beautiful women live lives of celibacy, never interacting with those base creatures called "men," immune as they are to the charms of "men."

It's silliness.

But I understand where it comes from.

To the average man, hot and beautiful women really ARE like strange creatures from another world.

Mr. Regular Guy never interacts with them.

He never gets to know them.

To them, he does not exist, and to him, they exist merely as dreams... fantasies.

Is it really no different when you talk to a hot girl?

Or could it be there's something I'm not telling you?

No Going Backwards

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

no going backwardsOne of our members on the discussion boards recently wrote about a girl he'd been out on a date with, who was very attracted to him, and with whom he'd made it all the way back to his place.

They reached his home, only for her to refuse coming upstairs with him. He persisted; she refused. He persisted; she refused. She then counter offered that he accompany her to a bar - he relented, then accepted. Once at the bar, they shared a few rounds of passionate kisses, then parted ways.

A few days later this girl who'd been previously very attracted to him - enough to accompany him all the way back to his home and to kiss him passionately at the bar texted him something very kind and considerate that concluded with her having realized they "didn't really have all that much in common after all." She was no longer interested in seeing him anymore.

He was surprised; she'd clearly been so attracted to him before. Why the sudden switch?

The reason why, I responded, was that he'd allowed her to take things backwards in the seduction; instead of moving ahead, things deescalated and retreated.

Going backwards in a seduction, as we will see in this article, does all kinds of bad things for you with precedent and attraction that you'll want to not have anything to do with... it's the seduction equivalent of the shady part of town you're better off steering clear of at all costs.

Time Efficiency Done Right

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By: Chase Amante

I'm going to take a bit of a tangent from the usual here to discuss the topic of time efficiency and ways that you can make your social life (and the rest of your life) much more efficient.

time efficiency

This article is in answer to K's comment here that asks:

“Hey Chase!

Thank you so much for this website. It is truthfully the only comprehensive "how to live life" site that takes a logical approach to everything. I especially enjoyed the "Are you smart post". The difference between hard working and smart is truly all important. It would be amazing if you could get a post up here about how to be incredibly time efficient, so that we can learn how to really maximize the effectiveness of our work.

Thanks again,

K”

K's referencing the article "Are You Smart? It Doesn't Much Matter Either Way," in which we examined some research done on children praised as "smart" compared to children praised as "hard working" from an early age. The findings were that the children praised as "smart" early on shied away from hard problems later in life out of fear of failing and proving themselves "not smart," while children praised as "hard working" early on dove into hard problems later in life in with zest to show how "hard working" they really were.

In this article, I want to turn the spotlight onto the topics of hard limits, autopilot, and also revisit some of what we discussed in the article on ego depletion - so we can talk about how one becomes truly time efficient.