Tactics Tuesdays: 110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: 110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior

Comporting oneself well, removing tics, fidgets, and other nervous gestures, and giving oneself a general bearing of a man of breeding and distinction are some of the foundations of good fundamentals, no matter what identity you strive to embody.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

AlluringSpy's picture

I'm pretty sure that if we follow these rules to the book wich I'm sure I never will, our coolness goes down as one of the elements of the cool formula is to break the rules.
I'm guessing we should be following and breaking the rules in different situations?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Spy-

Yep, absolutely!

The cool guy knows the rules, and breaks them strategically to his social advantage and to demonstrate a certain degree of mastery over the rules. He must know them to know when to follow them and when to break them though, lest he end up being not "the cool guy" who breaks the right rules and looks bad ass, but "the awkward guy" who breaks the wrong rules and looks like a social liability.

(anyone just tuning in, Alluring Spy is referring to my article on 'how to be cool' here: "How to Be Cool: The Ultimate 4-Part Coolness Formula")

Chase

Flamingo's picture

Great as usual, especially the quote in the end.
Keep it classy Chase.

Cheers,
Flamingo

P.S
“Run from what's comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on I'll be mad.”

― Rumi

Hector Castillo's picture

Rumi is a gangster. But I've never seen that quote. Gonna steal that for an article.

Salam.

Oh and Chase, baller article;) You're the classiest man I've ever known.

- Hekky

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Rodrigo's picture

Thanks for sharing Chase... going to put it on my bedroom wall and start practicing.

Jonny Boy's picture

Hey, Chase, just wanted to let you know that I just had my first successful pull since educating myself on your site. 1 hour from introduction to penetration! All your articles have permeated my subconscious and I actually HEARD YOUR VOICE/WORDS while interacting with her... awesome.

Thanks a million man, your site has been invaluable.

-Cheers

JJ's picture

I can fake some of these lol kidding, I've some socially salvageable traits as hard to believe as it is. Intellectually, verbally and physically I can come off as crass, unfiltered, even shallow when I throw shade at certain individuals attitudes or describe actions I take towards them. That's only because I take it upon myself to put them in their place a self imposed justice of sorts, but I've some decent qualities. I contribute to a lot of causes that are close to my heart even if for the time being I can't financially,do as much as I'd like. Doing what is right by me not to be socially acceptable is emotionally and spirtually sacred, meaningful and fulfilling. When I mention my self destructive tricks & tendencies it appears I'm wasteful, but I'm much more multifaceted. This article reminds me of a philosophy class i took in college and the professor was awesome.

LoverBoy0609's picture

Hey Chase,

I'm super curious how'd you learn all of this info of getting girls, like specifically you know how girls think (from relationships to women & reputation to when women want you to say hi, etc.) & you can break seduction stuff down in SO much depth. Did you just ask girls stuff in relationships, or from mentors (if so, what kind?), or by talking to lots of guys & girls? Also from other blogs, books, etc?

I.e. how exactly were you able to learn this so in-depth?

Signed - one very interested reader ;)

Author
Chase Amante's picture

LoverBoy-

Yeah, mine’s a weird story. I had pretty heavy social anxiety as a teenager, so I couldn’t do much with others and kept myself apart out of fear, but I really liked pretty girls and I loved popularity once I got an accidental taste of it, so I spent a lot of time “engineering” the popular kids to notice me, the pretty girls to ask me out and chase me, trying to get them to overcome my resistance, etc. I essentially spent my teen years in a role reversal with women. As a result, I have a pretty good grasp on why women do a lot of things they do (since I also used to do them)… and I have a lot of compassion for how much it sucks to sit around and wait for a Princess (or Prince, in girls’ case) Charming day in and day out and have weak half-hearted attempts made and your resistance not overcome.

Eventually I had enough and decided I would beat my fears and learn the “male way” of proactively approaching, but by that point I was a good decade behind. So I started doing unconventional things like approaching strange women, and when I found the pickup community a year in I immediately signed up for training with the most promising-sounding coaching company. I then worked to build a mentorship with the top guy there (who not only was really, really good, but was hands down the best teacher out there among the old pickup gurus – his private pickup board was an A-Team of talented guys, and the two highest revenue pickup companies in existence right now were founded by two of his top students… I would like to make that a triumvirate), while befriending talented natural seducers and consuming everything that seemed legitimate on the top pickup board at the time (which had a few super talented natural seducers on it too). Then it was just trial and error, thousands of approaches a year, and trying out tons of different things and seeing what results they produced.

So, if you wanted to emulate my process, it’d be go live a shitty life where you perfect a reverse-female strategy to get women to court you as much as you can, finally give that up as impractical, spend years studying peers and women you get out on dates, take up with the best in the business + a cadre of highly skilled natural friends, and study the heck out of the most talented guys with the best results on pickup forums. Then go apply all of that to thousands of women, rack up tons of rejections, let women destroy your ego, continually get schooled by mentors and friends (with total gratitude, however), and finally reach the point where you’re getting laid and taking awesome girlfriends with abandon. Be obsessed, basically!

Oh, and teach, with a focus on practical, applicable stuff. That forces you to take what you’ve learned to do unconsciously and make it conscious. Because it’s pretty useless to everyone else when it’s locked inside your head as unconscious instinct. The more you teach it, the better you get at teaching and explaining it, and if you take a perfectionist-like “everything I say must be insightful, original, and fresh” tack like I do, you also force yourself to hone in on the nuance. Then have a business where you have to write millions of words on this stuff, while maintaining that same relentless “keep it fresh” focus.

That’d probably rightly sum it up ;)

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

This is literally a list for social rules.
Great extension to how to be socially adept article. But a lot to remember.

Would these apply across all cultures or what culture is it primarily based on?

Re: Done
So the girl I posted about in AR is now in the past. She never got back to me on text about her schedule and I'm done.
I'll always remember her as a good reference point: Never move slow ever again...
Recently, I remembered how she said, "Why now?" repeatedly after I phoned her to bring her out of auto rejection from text selfie push incident with validation (things I appreciated about her), and also ask her out. With girls who we went slow with, and then a sudden change like this to ask them out and pull them out of AR, I can understand why she asked Why now?

That's the end of that.
But experience leaves me two questions with dealing social/seduction dynamics.

1. What's the proper way of changing behaviour toward them without setting red flags?

Secondly followed by:
2. In auto rejection, from too high value and out of reach, changing to warm and validating (saying how she is good), it will set flags in her mind (why now?), but if speed is the issue (too sudden) and moving fast is important before they fall too deep into AR, what's the solution for attainability problem?

Thanks Chase,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

The spirit of these applies, but you need to get outside of some of the period- and culture-specifics of many of the rules. For instance, don’t put your feet up in front of the fire. That just means don’t hog conveniences meant for a group of people… e.g., don’t sit right in front of the television and block everyone else from watching it.

As for changing behavior with women you’ve set precedent with, I find it’s usually best if you make it seem impulsive, on a high point. e.g., some girl you know socially but have never asked out… this time, you and her chat, and it’s going nice, and then it gets really nice… and then you pause. Then you say, “Hey! We should get food sometime. You and me.”

And if a girl’s falling into auto-rejection, you don’t have time to worry about whether you suddenly warming up and seeming attainable is incongruent. You’ve messed up, and now you’re trying to put the fire out… you don’t have time to figure out if that’s saltwater or freshwater coming out of the fire hydrant. You use what you’ve got. And you make a note in the future not to be so low attainability, and to set yourself up to more easily transition into warmth and attainability with women.

To learn group chats, you’ll simply have to do some awkward butting in and naturally learn the rhythm. Eventually you will figure it out. However, typically, groups settle into a rhythm of a handful of people who are essentially having a dialogue amongst the two or three of them, while everyone else listens. Trying to insert yourself into that dialogue when the dialogue partners are already firmly established can look ungainly, and it’s better to wait until a chat has finished or died down. Then you can begin a new one, with the same or different members of the group.

As for interrupting, look for people not engaged in close conversation. If you must engage people who are excitedly conversing, try to interrupt nonverbally; get close, stick your hand out for a handshake, smile a shit-eating grin (since you’re interrupting), and once you get a guy looking at you say hi quietly if the rest of the group talks on and just that guy notices you, or hi loudly to the group if they stop talking to acknowledge you.

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

I noticed in group chats, they keep talking and smoothly transition to the next topic.
How do I get to say something? I'm waiting for them to finish, and they are half second pauses, and before I know it, it's already the next topic.

Interrupting
As a high status individual, when you're at networking events, and you want to talk to someone (or they invited you to come there, the host), do you stand there and wait?
That doesn't seem high status at all.
Or do you interrupt since your time is valuable (but that breaks social norms)?
Is there a time when interrupting is ok

Lawliet

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