Tactics Tuesdays | Page 2 | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Future Project

future projection
If you can future project, you can lead a woman to imagine you as a part of her future. This is no mythical trick -- it only takes words to do.

One of your prime objectives with a new woman is to have her think of you in a different way from how she thinks of other men. Most men to her are nameless, faceless strangers. Even if they're attractive, if she feels no connection to them, they'll struggle with her.

Yet once a woman feels a connection with you, and envisions the possibilities with you, it changes. She won't dismiss you out of hand. She'll consider what you say to her. She opens up to your suggestions.

One tactic to 'fast track' women envisioning themselves with you is future projection. To project something is to push it out and paint a picture of it. When you future project, you paint a picture of the future.

Paint a good-enough picture, and a gal can start to feel like the two of you are already close to something like boyfriend and girlfriend... even if you've only just met.

Tactics Tuesdays: Be Busy When with Women

busy with women
Busyness can be very attractive to women. But to make it so, you need two things: flirtation and instruction.

Women like busy men. They find them attractive. This is because women like capable men, and busyness implies capability. If you're busy, you must have it going on.

You can't fake busy. Or if you try to, it won't come off well. There's too much nuance to being truly busy to effectively fake it.

However, if you actually are busy, there's a right and a wrong way to use your busyness with women. Use it the wrong way, and women will assume you aren't interested. Use it right, and you can up your attractiveness while making women invest more in you (and commit to the courtship).

Tactics Tuesdays: Leave Her Alone 2 Minutes

leave her come back
If you run into resistance with a girl, instead of plow through, step away a moment... to let her fix her resistance herself.

Usually when you meet a girl, you don't want to leave her. If you leave her, she might leave herself! Some other guy might dash in to steal her away. Her emotions toward you may cool. There's no telling what could happen.

So, you will tend to be with her straight through. Straight to the point you take her contact info, then say farewell. Or straight to the point you invite her home (then take her there).

Once she's home with you, you'll be at her side the whole time too. You want her to get comfortable with you, after all. She can't get comfortable with you when you're not there.

Thus, this tactic might seem a smidge counterintuitive.

Yet if you want to solidify her commitment to you, and get her to value you more, this one'll do that.

And all you have to do to use it is (at the proper moment) leave her alone for two (2) minutes.

Tactics Tuesdays: Group Invite Dates

group invite dates
Girl won't come out, or isn't sure about you… or you're too busy to meet her 1-on-1? Extend a group invite date to her, and get her doing something social with you.

My normal advice with you for dates is 'get her out alone with you'.

Don't make dates less intimate. Don't do party dates. Don't do things where there are other people around to distract.

In the typical scenario, where you have a girl who's already game to come out with you 1-on-1, this is the best advice for you. There's no need to overcomplicate things for yourself or introduce chaos by involving additional people. Make the date about you and her, and get everything else out of the way.

However... there are a few scenarios in which 'get her out 1-on-1' isn't practical or viable. And sometimes it just makes more sense to do something in a group.

For such cases, it can actually make sense to skip the 1-on-1, and invite a girl to a group event.

Because just like 1-on-1 dates, group invite dates have their upsides, too.

Tactics Tuesdays: Zero Small Talk Flirtation

zero small talk
Don’t get stuck in boring go-nowhere conversations with girls. Ditch the small talk, and flirt with ‘small talk zero’ instead.

This is for any guy who runs into this issue:

You're in a situation, start to talk to a girl, make small talk about the setting/situation, then get trapped in a platonic conversation where you talk about boring situational things that neither you nor the girl care about. She loses interest and slips away.

If this happens to you, there's an easy tactic you can use, and that is to go 'small talk zero'. Instead of make small talk, your entire early conversation consists of flirtatious banter.

Sometimes you can make small talk work perfectly fine, especially if you are confident in how you do it and don't spend too long on it. However, if you're nervous, or don't feel in control of the situation, it's easy to fall into a small talk loop, where small talk leads to more small talk, which leads to boredom, and women leaving.

Since we don't want attractive women leaving, instead of getting trapped in an endless small talk loop, we can use 'zero small talk' flirtation instead.

Tactics Tuesdays: Getting Free of Local Dating Norms

dating norms
Every group or society has norms it expects members to follow. These norms extend to dating and romance as well. But what if you aren't from the same norm group?

I've done quite a bit of travel and lived in a variety of places, all very different from each other, with people who were all quite different too. Everywhere I have gone, I have encountered many men who told me the women in whatever city or country I was in were 'traditional' and 'hard to get anywhere with'. Often I would have men telling me this after I had already quickly slept with several normal, local women, with normal dating histories (not wild party girls, sluts, or 'exceptions to the rule'). I never want to rub it in a guy's face, so usually I will just say "Well, the girls here seem pretty normal and not too uptight to me."

I am not the only guy this happens to. Everywhere I've lived or traveled for any good amount of time, for every 10 guys I meet who tell me the women there are 'difficult' or 'traditional', I'll meet at least one man who tells me the women there are unbelievably easy. Often these guys sleep with multiple new women a week, oblivious to the guys who spend months or years without girlfriends or lays.

I could spend 10 posts unpacking the differences between the 'girls here are hard to get' guys and the 'girls here are so easy' guys... and in many ways, this website is devoted to just this mission.

Today though, I want to talk about one specific wrinkle of the successful guys' success: playing dumb on dating norms.

Tactics Tuesdays: Recovering from Botched Escalations to Sex

failed escalation to sex
When you try to have sex with a girl, but fail, often that's it: you won't get another shot with her. Yet all is not lost with her – you still have options.

Failing in your escalation to sex is, often, a kiss of death.

You were inches away from intimacy with a girl... and then you didn't reach sex.

Perhaps you started to kiss her alone at your place, but she broke things off and left. Or you got her clothes partly off and had your hands on her body, only for her to get up, dress, and depart.

What's more maddening still is the power dynamic shift that occurs after a failed attempt at mating like this. She cools off to you dramatically... while you go crazy trying to get her back!

It's nuts. And it drives you nuts.

How can she be so cool toward you when the two of you were so close to intimacy?

In today's article we'll talk about a few tactics to attempt to turn things around in these sorts of situations. We'll also talk about why, from a strategic point of view, unless the girl is an absolute keeper, it's often better to take at best a few more shots, yet be ready to walk away.

Tactics Tuesdays: When Dates Don't Work Out, Do a Post-Mortem

dating post-mortem
When a date or an outing doesn't pan out, use a post-mortem to figure out why. Give yourself clear action items for next time – and recover your emotions, too.

Your dates and outings won't always work out.

Sometimes they don't pan out at all. You go out and approach girls and all you get are stony faces. You take girls onto dates yet can never get past the polite zone. You bring women home and hit a wall of last-minute resistance.

There is one thing you ought to always do, whenever things don't go your way.

That thing is a post-mortem.

The term comes from the Latin for after death, and it's pretty close to how we'll use it here.

After your date, outing, or seduction has 'died'... after the whole thing is over (and not before), you're going to do an 'after death' review to figure out what within your control went well, and what to change next time.

This is so incredibly important to your learning and future success. It takes your progress with women and puts it on the fast track -- and all it takes it a little cognizance of what you could've done better, and enough emotion control to step back and look at everything objectively.

Tactics Tuesdays: Smile, Eyebrows Up, Open Eyes

smile and attraction
It's basic, but it's also easy to forget to do. Smile when you approach a girl, and your odds of success with her go way up.

Sometimes the simplest stuff is the most important.

Every now and again, despite however many years at this, I will go out and discover things aren't going my way. Women don't glance at me or hover near me; when I approach them, they're lukewarm.

At first, whenever something like this happens, I assume it's randomness and asymmetry. Not everyone who sees you will like you; not everyone you talk with you'll connect with. Yet sometimes the pattern keeps up, well past the point you can chalk it all up as randomness. You meet more girls, talk to more girls, and they're still not as receptive as they should be.

Whenever this happens, I do a post-mortem on the outing. What did I do wrong? Where'd I screw up? I can usually find a few areas.

One of the most common, though, is also one of the most basic. All too often, I've been off in whatever kind of mood, and realize I haven't been smiling.

Tactics Tuesdays: Attainability for High Value Men

attainability for high value men
As a high value man, it's easy to seem out of girls' leagues. A focus on the High Value Man Big 5 for attainability keeps you in-reach for women you like.

Two days ago we talked about meeting women while staying safe in a paranoid dating society. The 'safety from vengeful women' adds just one more layer to the already thick binder of reasons you want to keep your attainability in the green zone.

Attainability is key to your success with women. If it's too low, women will auto-reject you. If it's too high, they won't be interested in you. There is an attainability 'sweet spot' you must operate inside of to do consistently well with women.

The subject of today's article is how to stay attainable when you're already a high value man. If you're the type of guy a girl might think is 'out of her league', attainability considerations become even more important for you -- because it's easy for you to blow it with women just by being your normal charming self.