Pickup Tech

When you’re new to approaching women, it can be tough to know which girls to meet. Use these 14 basic approaching rules to know when to go in and what to do.

The other day I wrote an article with a few rules on how to start doing day game.

It was clear from the reactions that there are newer guys who struggle with some of the most basic rules around approaching. I haven’t really gone into a lot of these before because:

• I just figured these rules out naturally as I approached and I find guys who are doing the fieldwork tend to figure them out naturally too, and

• These rules can be bent or broken as you get more experienced, so why write a list of rules that are only worth sticking to for new guys? I don’t want to give guys more rules that become constraints later on

But it occurs to me now that guys who are pretty new maybe want some constraints to better focus their approaching to get more from it coming out of the gates.

In the past I’ve talked a fair bit about having an overall process for approaching, such as in my article on how to approach a girl… but I haven’t really talked about some of the most basic rules of beginner-level approach targeting.

So I’ve conjured up the most basic approaching rules I could… and I’ve assembled together a list of 14 basic approaching maxims I recommend pickup newbies to follow.

New to day game? It may seem scary to begin. All those girls rushing around during day… And no natural, unawkward way to meet them! Fortunately, it’s easier to begin than it seems…

We’re just about to rerelease our killer day game course “Meet Girls Everywhere” (or MGE), with expert day game coach Hector Castillo. MGE’s an awesome training course you’re sure to love if you’re at all interested in meeting girls by day.

Today I figured I’d talk a little about first starting day game, because it’s one of the common hurdles guys new to day game face: “How do I begin doing day game?”

Going to parties or nightlife is one thing. You’ll have anxiety around approaching there, but pound back a few brewskis or get your wingman to cheer you on or pull you into one of his sets and before you know it you’re talking to girls.

Day game is different. There’s no social atmosphere there. Women aren’t standing around waiting for an approach. Many of them are busy, many are distracted, and few are expecting to talk to someone. It can feel ‘wrong’ striking up a conversation with a stranger… isn’t doing so intrusive? Aren’t you supposed to not talk to strangers? You’re supposed to go to special walled environments like bars to do that, not outside in the open air!

It's a little silly when you think about it, because for millions of years of hominid evolution, we sure didn’t have rules of “you cannot talk to women outside of walled edifices serving fermented hops.” For one, we didn’t have walls… For another, we also did not have barrels of fermented anything, let alone ice cubes and little umbrellas to stick in them.

Getting started with day game is thus a bit like becoming an evolutionary throwback… One leaves aside the polite rules and unspoken strictures of modern society, and becomes a little bit of a caveman roaming the streets 10,000 years into the future.

Meet markets can seem like appealing places to head to to pick up girls. But how do you up your odds here without relying just on luck?

July was an amazing month in Paris. Tons of tourists merging with the Parisian local population generated an amazing nightlife.

After the COVID lockdowns, I am finally settled in this beautiful city and have access to great venues.

One is David Lynch’s club, Silencio, one of Europe’s, if not the world’s most exclusive and hard to get into places: amazing crowd, crazy hot girls, and good venue logistics. I’ve been there three times and pulled twice, which is a good score for any venue.

I frequent selective clubs, which usually have pickers selecting the crowd. I prefer these venues to the typical “meet markets” because they have a higher concentration of hot girls plus a good women-to-men ratio—very beneficial. They typically have better in-venue logistics than meet markets, which often consist of one big room, much noise, and chaos, although there are exceptions.

When you go out, look lonely, and pile up obvious rejections, people notice, especially in social places. What can you do to avoid this ‘negative social proof’ while out?

You’re likely familiar with the concept of ‘social proof’.

Social proof is the principle whereby people like, trust, and feel more comfortable with people and choices that are already approved (proofed) by others (social).

Social proof is a useful advantage to have. While the concept can seem a little abstract, its real world results can be vast. Good social proof can lead to:

• Much warmer receptions from those you approach

• A much easier time reaching the hook point

• More ‘slack’ cut for you in your interactions

• Approach invitations from women who find you intriguing

As good as social proof can be, it’s a double-edged sword, yet its other edge is little discussed: the woman-repulsing bane of negative social proof.

Going out to meet women? The nightlife venue you choose has a big impact on your odds. Meet markets are good for lower level playboys, but at elite levels, selective is where it’s at.

Hey guys, welcome back. Today I’ll discuss night game.

As you know, venue selection is a crucial part of night game. Selecting the wrong venue (whether it’s not suited for you and your game or just a poor choice) will greatly affect your night and may determine whether your night is successful—or not.

I have written plenty on venue selection and calibration, so I will not repeat myself here.

Today I’ll compare the differences between selective clubs and typical “meet markets.” Which places are the best for pick up? I’ll go over the pros and cons of both types.

Many men dislike more selective places because they can be intimidating. Some men perceive that girls are harder to get there. Some of these girls tend to be more beautiful and seem more reserved. They do not seem to openly flirt or show a sexual vibe.

On the other hand, the typical meet markets tend to have a sexual vibe and girls may be more sexually open and willing to flirt. More importantly, the places are far less intimidating.

So, which places are the best? Most guys starting out in night game tend to favor typical meet markets. Beginners usually go to those venues—the same with intermediate guys. We will get to why that is shortly.

Elite night gamers tend to favor selective venues. There are some exceptions to the rule, but generally, the exceptions are good reasons for not sticking to the norm.

What happens when a girl starts talking to you but you aren’t ready to talk? There must be a way to NOT blow this… well there is: with 3-step “chitchat jujutsu.”

You’ve probably had this happen:

You went out somewhere, just in your head, not in much of a social mood.

Some girl then appeared out of nowhere, trying to get your attention, smiling, tapping you, telling you, “Hey!”

And you, stuck in your head, responded with a stiff, stilted, “Oh, hey. What’s going on?”

She said, “Not much! How about you?”

You stumbled through a few more awkward phrases. You could tell she liked you and wanted to see if she could get something going with you, but you were just too out of it.

Then the moment passed. She realized you weren’t going to do much of anything. So she left.

Damn, another layup missed, you think.

There must be a way to snap yourself to attention and shift into gear when unexpected “gimmes” like this fall into your lap – right?

When the strategy you’re using with a woman doesn’t work, you can keep trying variations of it… or you can switch things up, & be “strategically flexible.”

Welcome back. In this series, we’ve previously discussed how to calibrate strategically. You can calibrate your technical choices depending on the situation. Many men who start getting good at this tend to apply the wrong technique to the wrong circumstance. They try to smash in a nail with a screwdriver: it works, but it requires extra work, and the results are not as good.

In our last article, we discussed understanding which technique to use and when.

Today’s post covers what to do when a technique does not work on a girl in certain situations. I came across this masterpiece by our own beloved Chase, who posted about this subject on the forums not long ago.

Instead of repeating everything Chase said, I decided to make this post a commentary on Chase’s original post while adding my contributions. All quotations are from Chase’s original post.