Articles by Author: Cody Lyans | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Cody Lyans

Articles by Author: Cody Lyans

Planning and Tracking Progress Are Essential to Get Good with Women

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By: Cody Lyans

planning and tracking progress with women
If you don’t know where you are or what path to take, you’ll get lost with no hope of reaching your destination. Here’s how to get your bearings.

Over the last decade of coaching guys on how to solve their problems with getting good with women, I have noticed a pattern.

Building a successful style of game is a tough task, and when push comes to shove, a lot of guys give up before they establish a strong baseline and find what truly works for them.

I can see how to scale each individual problem that’s holding a guy back, but I then have to help him navigate around obstacles close to him so that the job of tackling all his issues doesn’t leave him overwhelmed and confused.

To build a successful style of game, you need to find the right plan for dealing with all that is necessary to reach your end goal before you give up in frustration. Revamping oneself into a successful seducer is very doable, but it usually requires much more than addressing just a few simple things. And that’s why most guys struggle with girls.

It’s hard to get anywhere without being able to see clearly where you are, where you’ve been, and what roads you need to take, right? Without that knowledge, it’s understandable that people fall victim to “are we there yet?” syndrome and become hopeless after hearing “no” so many times – and figure they’re better off changing course to familiar territory.

So, in this article, I’m going to explain how planning and tracking progress will help you avoid getting bogged down, frustrated, and feeling like you’re wasting your time. It will transform “are we there yet?” to “I’ve come this far and I know what’s next.”

How to Create a Personal Plan for Success with Women

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

Create a Plan for Success with Women
Want to get better with women but don’t know exactly how to go about it? Follow these steps to create a plan that makes efficient use of your time and your mind.

How should you go about planning for success when it comes to learning about women?

This is a difficult question to answer because seduction has many moving parts, but to follow up on my previous post, I will describe my process and the questions I use to forge my way through the chaos.

To plan for success in seduction – or anything you want to get better at – try asking these three questions.

  • What do you need to improve?

  • When do you need to improve it?

  • And why?

These questions might seem simple at first glance, but we can only learn at a certain rate. Therefore, to improve at a rapid pace, you want to streamline the process by focusing on what is most important for you at a certain time, with the right purpose behind it. While these questions are simple, there is a lot more substance to them than meets the eye. So, in this article, I will go through a few things that should make answering them an easier task.

Knowing why you need to learn something requires you to understand the broad context. Knowing when to learn something requires self-awareness. And knowing what to improve requires access to technical details and common trends. The substance of these questions is in how you go about developing technical proficiency, self-awareness, and contextual understanding.

Viable vs. Optimal Game: How to Best Improve and Focus Your Efforts

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By: Cody Lyans

viable vs optimal game
When we jump the gun and learn specialized aspects of a new skill before getting a solid foundation, the skill can become imbalanced and riddled with holes.

I recently took a short hiatus from seduction to reflect upon its deeper nature.

During that time, I got into boxing, and I have been observing seduction in as much detail as I can to try to reach a new level of understanding. In doing so, I’ve realized something about getting good with women – or anything, for that matter. It relates to how and where we apply our effort and how to get the best possible results without wasting time and energy.

With boxing, I have spent the past year ensuring that every aspect of what I do inside the ring is 100% technically accurate. If I discovered a single flaw, I used drills, exercise, and good old-fashioned hard work to fix it. I lost weight, removed the rust I had accumulated, and changed my foundation as a boxer from head to toe. I worked on my footwork, guard, head movement, hand speed, jab, combinations, counters, and overall conditioning.

It was tough, but I’ve started turning heads as my technical skill has become more apparent. I am entering a new phase where technical ability is non-negotiable. I am capable of all the things that make a decent boxer. However, I realize this is not the end of the road.

To progress further, I have had to let go of ideas of what might be good enough to beat most fighters and start thinking about what is good enough to win against a specific opponent. I’ve made the shift from “good enough” to genuinely commanding my fate.

This is something that is true in seduction as well. At first, we must gain enough ability that it is no longer a case of if we can get a girl, but when. We do so by acquiring universal strengths, traits, and attributes that help us achieve that level of confidence.

After this goal is attained, we then face a tough period where we question what we want, and on the other side of that soul searching is a whole new phase of learning.

3 Kinds of Men (and How to Care More No Matter Which You Are)

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By: Cody Lyans

There are, in romance, three kinds of men.

And before any of these three kinds of men is truly free to care about the women in his life and the others around him, he must make an inner journey that forces him to face his demons and let go of his fears of where these lead.

We all, in our own ways, search for a kind of absolution.

When we are young we expect that to come in the form of young love. Movies overwhelmingly portray it as “the happiest ending possible”, so why not? Some choose that path and succeed, some choose it and feel inadequate for doing so, and some choose to walk away from it (as I did).

But the complexities do not end there, and the human condition is fraught with astounding complexity and specificity for each and every one of us. Our lives are all set to a very unique mould, and no two are exactly alike. However, there are some things that are unilateral in their own quirky ways and I hope to share a few tips about life.

kinds of men

In my next article after this one I will describe two paths: one of the guy who chooses teen love, the other who doesn’t and walks another path. However, in this article I’m going to start by shortly describing another path and then afterwards share some techniques it uncovers.

5 Tips to Get Over Jealousy

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By: Cody Lyans

In my opinion there are two kinds of jealousy:

  1. The kind you feel out of superficial insecurity, and
  2. The kind you feel out of genuine loss

jealousy

A lot of men feel jealous superficially and confuse it for something genuine. That is easy to fix, you just have to learn to move on. But occasionally some of us who are familiar with moving on get swept into a situation where genuine loss is felt, and no matter how hard we try we just can’t let it go.

In this article I’m going to talk about the second kind of jealousy and getting past the grief that comes with it.

What to Do to Not be the Cold Playboy Everyone Hates

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By: Cody Lyans

Ever sleep with a new girl, only to end up feeling empty inside once all is said and done?

Ever struggle with seeing yourself as a victim, blaming the world for not giving you what it owes you?

Ever start taking successes and failures far too personally, and letting them mess with and control your emotions?

Ever let your own false sense of superiority lead you to treat other people in ways you later wish you hadn’t?

Sometimes it feels like you might never win. Everyone seems to have their game together except you. You feel like you are always trying to “catch up”. It eats away at you subconsciously until you seek the lows you are used to. You rationalize away fleeting successes. You feel overwhelmed and, worst of all, you aren’t sure you enjoyed it all that much.

cold playboy

Recently I have been afforded a window of opportunity to study this feeling in myself again. It has been a long time since I have felt like this with women, but now as I reflect upon it I think it is a topic worthy of getting into for you guys.

Putting the Heart Work in to Truly Break Through

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By: Cody Lyans

In any endeavor there are two kinds of difficulty:

  • Those obstacles that can be overcome by the resources you have access to (in the woods you can make a fire to keep warm),

  • And those obstacles that cannot be attained by seemingly any means (in those same woods you find out what it takes to survive).

heart work

In response to these two types of difficulty there are often two ways people respond: they become a "workaholic" in regards to the things they can influence, or they become a "protestor" for a certain kind of symbolic change that will modify what is attainable and what isn't.

These two kinds of difficulties lead to much of what you can see in the world, whether it be the man protesting how girls need to change, or the man who constantly strives to be "on top" so that he might have greater perceived value than others.

When it comes to HARD work both types of men have justifications for their own version.

Whether the argument is about responsibility or about change often shapes a man's image to the rest of the world. Is he hard at work at being the best of the choices we have, or is he hard at work to expand/change those choices? Both approaches have their merits, but I introduce you to these two approaches to illustrate a third kind of difficulty.

Heart.

How to Quit Being Self-Conscious in Nighttime Venues

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

I’ve recently been talking about fundamentals that help you get your foot into the club scenes, whether it be having the right light-hearted approach, or introducing your personality in a way that embraces the challenges brought on by the club scene.

Here I want to talk about how you really should be merging your persona with your activities when out in public.

First off, let me say, yes, there is a certain stigma and social pressure put on ANYBODY who is active socially in public. People might view you outrageous, unfairly privileged, amoral, or even shame you for being outgoing.

self-conscious nightclub

Sometimes, just for waving at a person, someone else may see you as arrogant; or for having a sex life, people can think you “unrealistic” or “irresponsible”; and for being proud of your growth you will face snickers from people that think a man who self improves is “weak” for admitting he is not already perfect.

It is easy to feel uncertain about yourself when any of these judgements are circling you. It can feel like if you make a mistake people are going to make it worse and it will destroy your image.

You will FEEL a resistance to becoming part of any scene because of this feeling of doubt and indecision. And it is natural to close up and think “Well, IF I act conservative enough, then I’ll slip through undetected”. However, for most people, even though they TRY to not get caught out, the fact is, sometimes you just are.

My solution?

Personal integrity.

3 Huge Mental Obstacles to Picking Up Women in Nightclubs

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By: Cody Lyans

A lot of guys new to game view clubbing as a natural and easy first step. We think that immediately jumping into the deep-end and trying to swim is “obviously” the biggest and best move we have at our disposal to get more success meeting girls. But what if jumping into clubbing too fast reduces opportunities and causes early plateaus?

nightclub pickup obstacles

When it comes to clubbing, if you don’t hit the right notes, it is very easy to slip into the background of the club, ignored and unsuccessful, and being in that background encourages all kinds of bad habits and mistakes to form or grow out of control.

If I was to sum this central message of this article intro one sound-byte, it would be: make sure you are going in with a good chance of coming out ahead. Doing so obviously comes down to solid foundations, but it also comes down to some very specific foundations that are needed in clubs specifically.

The guys at Girls Chase have covered some of the big ones, like moving fast, selection, and mindsets, but there is another layer of preparation that exists just below this advice that ensures you optimize your clubbing, whether or not you can pull the aforementioned off.

These pre-club foundations act like a bridge between a naturally attractive attitude outside of the club, and a naturally ACTIVE attitude inside the club.

And they’re what we’ll be talking about today.

What Do These People Even Want From You?

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By: Cody Lyans

Ever feel like everyone out there wants to take advantage of you and use you for their own ends?

It isn’t the case that everyone does... unfortunately, if you have a certain kind of history, sometimes you may not be able to tell the people who will be good influences in your life with good intentions for you from the people who will be bad influences and only want to take things from you it will not benefit you to give them.

In life, you start off at a disadvantage. You are dependent on others to rear you into adulthood, and usually that goes “okay”; but sometimes it goes in some messed up directions, and sometimes it’s the world’s doing, while other times it is your own ignorance that’s responsible.

This dual possibility leaves a lot of people playing it so safe, or so close to the chest that whether they are harming themselves in the line of fire from forces beyond them, or are getting by “okay”, and so they choose the same path they’ve always been on to get them into adulthood.

Those suffering abuse often take a lot more of it before they see that the source isn’t them and it’s some other weirdo deceiving them and gas-lighting them. Those suffering under their own ignorance cocoon themselves in paranoia and take up vindictive mindsets. Those who get reared “okay” are usually roped into their parent’s troubled relationships or attempts to appear like an unquestionable authority to their child.

what-do-they-want

No matter which way you spin it, you always end up to some degree dazed and confused, wondering how the hell you got here, and why you couldn’t have just had a no strings attached rearing into adulthood, and a nice introduction into the world upfront.