Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Be a Warm Person

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By: Chase Amante

how to be a warm personCommenting on the post on building social status, a reader asks the following about how to be a warm person:

“Hi Chase, great site, great article. Could you discuss more about warmth? You discuss it quite often, but you could dive into this topic more in-depth? It's a powerful tool to use in all aspects of life, so your breakdown of this would be much appreciated!

Thanks”

Happy to oblige, Anonymous.

Back in 2001, a young female customer walked back into the tire store where I worked as a technician and salesman to complete a transaction she'd begun the day before with me. I wasn't there, so another salesman helped her. "That guy who helped me yesterday was nice," she told him, referring to me, "but I felt like he had bad intentions."

When this salesman told me she'd said this, I was surprised; I knew I'd adopted an edge over the past few years - it had been designed specifically to make sure no one would want to fight me, since I was always alone and frequently in dangerous situations. But I didn't think it was actually scaring off women.

I went to work trying to change it, but even a year later, friends on my college dorm room floor told me, "The girls on the 7th floor said, 'That kid with the red hair is scary.'"

When I heard this, the first thing I thought was, "All right. I've adjusted my face for men - to be intimidating and frightening - long enough. It's time I adapt myself for women instead."

Within a few years, I was regularly hearing things like the following:

"I only just met Chase, but I felt like we'd been friends for ages."

"It's so great hanging out with you; I feel like I can tell you anything."

"Spending time talking to you makes me feel like I can breathe."

How I figured out how to be a warm person and how I made the switch to that from "scary and intimidating" is what I'll detail in this post.

Ego Depletion (and Keeping Women Around)

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By: Chase Amante

ego depletionApologies if you haven't seen me on here much recently. I'm working on a few new things that should help you take your game to the next level; the first one due out is a book on relationships that I'm really thrilled with the development on. I'm aiming for it to be as complete a book on relationships as How to Make Girls Chase is for pick up, and I have some truly outside-the-box thinking in it that I've developed through my own personal relationships and through advising a number of friends and clients on their own, and that I haven't seen or heard anywhere else.

Anyway, I wanted to take a break from all the big project stuff and stop by here with a few of the things I've been working on lately. Today's blog post is a monster, at over 5,000 words, on something called "ego depletion." As you get better with some of the more advanced techniques from this blog and from the programs available here, you're going to start experiencing more and more of this, as one of the downsides to efficient and effective pick up.

If you're familiar with a sales tactic called "hard selling," you know that, even when people know what this is, it still works a lot of the time. You also know from this site that the hard sell can be a useful seduction technique - but that it's not without its drawbacks. And the chief among those drawbacks is ego depletion, and the after-the-fact effect it can lead to: buyer's remorse.

Buyer's remorse is, of course, when you make some headway with a girl - she gives you her phone number, kisses you, fools around with you, or sleeps with you - and then she disappears, never to be seen again, or (sometimes) suddenly acts coldly toward you in social situations. Coldness can also be caused by auto-rejection, but there's one important difference:

  • Buyer's remorse is what you get when a girl feels like you made her go too far, whereas
  • Auto-rejection is what you get when a girl feels like you didn't take her far enough.

Mildly confused? Great. Confusion's the stage that immediately precedes learning something that will prove, hopefully, rather useful.

So let's talk willpower, decisions, buyer's remorse, auto-rejection, and ego depletion - and let's discuss how you can avoid shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to forming a relationship with a girl you really like.

Book Excerpts: How to Let a Girl Know You Like Her

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By: Chase Amante

how to let a girl know you like herIf you've read the post on auto-rejection, then you know a big problem facing most guys in the Western world isn't that they come on too strong... but that they don't come on strong enough, and women end up assuming they just aren't all that into them... which leads women to then auto-reject, close up, and go cold to protect their own emotions. And if that's happening to you, that's probably because you're like most guys in the West these days, and you don't yet have too firm a grasp on how to let a girl know you like her.

What is it, exactly, with this plague of tentative men these days? It seems like the average guy nowadays is so afraid of rejection that he isn't willing to stick his neck out at all - or else he goes into things with the "just friends" angle, then get surprised and upset when they end up in the friend zone.

No - as you get to know a girl, it's important that you also know how to let a girl know you like her - and that you go about doing exactly that.

Book Excerpts: What to Screen Women For

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By: Chase Amante

screen womenIf you've been reading material on doing better with women for any length, you're probably very familiar with the need to screen women. For men starting out in improving their dating lives, this can be one of the strangest new elements to add - you're so used to trying to pass women's screens... and now you are going to screen them, instead?

For guys who've been around the block a few times, this isn't anything new, although you might still find yourself causing women to go into auto-rejection by screening too hard or on things the women you're talking to aren't able to pass your tests on.

Either way - whether you're a new guy who's just getting around to outfitting his screening arsenal, or you're a seasoned guy who'd like to find a few new ways to screen women you meet - this list of things to screen women on from my eBook How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams is designed to help you come up with a host of different (and interesting) subjects to explore... and screen... the women you meet on.

Book Excerpts: How to Challenge Women

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By: Chase Amante

challenge womenSomething that every nice guy has painfully experienced - one way or the other - is that when you don't challenge women, you also don't attract women. Challenge is a necessary, integral part of building and maintaining respect and desire for you in women.

But what is challenge? It's easy to understand why most guys get this wrong. It's hard to pin the concept of "being a challenge to women" down when you're not sure where the line is. What if you challenge her too much and lose her? And while this does happen - it's called auto-rejection, and it happens more than most men realize - if you're hitting women's no-challenge flags too often, you need to get that one fixed first before you start worrying too much about whether you're going too far.

Can't fix the problem of going too far if you usually don't go far enough in the first place... right?

You need to train yourself, if you don't do it already, to challenge girls.

Tactics Tuesdays: Dance Floor Game

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By: Chase Amante

dance floor gameIn the comments section under the post on "Get Girls in Bed," a reader writes in asking about dance floor game:

“Hey Chase,

Been reading your blog for the past couple of months now, and I think there's less than 10 articles to go until I have read everything on your website.

Awesome stuff to say the least, I feel like I've hit a goldmine after reading your pieces.

From your writings I can see you are not the biggest fan of seducing women in clubs since it's loud and not conducive to many aspects of seduction. However, I keep seeing guys who do pretty well in clubs. Can you write a piece on gaming in clubs? Particularly what to do on the dance floor when conversation isn't really an option?

Thank you.

Best regards,

A”

In fact, as I commented in my response to A, I do like nightclubs for meeting women - I've hands down spent more time honing my abilities with women in them and have met more women at bars and nightclubs than anywhere else - but I find them to be some of the most difficult places to do well with women for most guys, the environments in them are the most stacked against a man you'll see, and they're among the worst places to look for girlfriend-quality women you can go to... so I tend to recommend against them for guys when giving advice.

But, for straight training purposes, for coating your skin with a layer of steel and developing rock-solid frame control, and for quick pick ups once you've got your vibe and your process down right, clubs are hard to beat.

A's question is one of the first one's that come to mind when you start thinking about nightclubs though, and it's one we haven't discussed in any detail on this site yet: what do you do about dance floor game?

Book Excerpts: Get Girls in Bed (Without a Bed)

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By: Chase Amante

get girls in bedIn response to the "Move Girls" post, a reader named Anon Guy comments:

“Chase, hey,

This is an awesome post and I am religiously reading your down-to-earth blog.

I have a dilemma of not owning my own pad (yet), and if we propose that it is a zero-sum game, and that it all boils down to sleeping with her for the two to become lovers, do you have any practical advise on guys who do not own a convenient, private space to make the magic happen?

I guess back seat of my car could work, but it's not really private, and will probably be a million times harder to pull that off.

But based on countless posts I've read so far from you, it seems like the only way is to bed her some way or another.

Let me know. Thanks!”

In fact, you don't necessarily need a bed to get girls in bed. You can do it without one... sometimes, not having a bed even makes it easier.

How can this be so?

Tactics Tuesdays: Move Girls

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By: Chase Amante

move girlsIf you've been reading this site a while, I'm sure you've seen me recommend again and again that you move girls to get them committed to the interaction with you.

You might have wondered exactly what that meant though, or exactly how to do it.

It's a surprisingly simple piece of advice - "move girls" - but it makes a huge difference in how your interactions go. In fact, it's hands down my favorite exercise to do with coaching clients. Typically we go out, work on a little basic opening, some initial conversation, and then, the meat - I tell a guy, "All right, next, I want you to start moving these girls."

I've seen this called "isolation" in some places, "extraction" in others. It's been given lots of longwinded technical explanations, like you need to move women in order to get them away from their friends, who'll interfere... or something like that.

This is not so. Friends don't make much of a difference. What DOES make a difference is getting girls to commit to talking with you - and following your lead.

And that's necessary for a couple of different reasons.

Book Excerpts: Women Love Sex

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By: Chase Amante

women love sexThere are a few key differences between a man who's confident and experienced with women and one who's neither confident nor experienced with women. One of those differences is the confident, experienced man's approach and demeanor: he knows how to act in a way that will most attract women to him.

Another of these is his process: no longer uncertain of what he needs to do, he single-mindedly pursues his objective with each new woman - finding a way to take this beautiful, scintillating creature as his lover.

Another still is his mindset: unlike the unconfident and inexperienced man, this man knows, with unwavering certainty, that women love sex.

Or at the very least, he knows they love it with him.

Book Excerpts: The Direct Opener

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By: Chase Amante

direct openerHow do you say "hi" to a new woman?

One of the most tried and true of the PUA openers around is the direct opener. Direct, or "genuine interest" as it's also called, centers around, well, directly stating your genuine interest in a woman.

For instance, you think she looks breathtaking in the flowing, summery dress... you tell her.

Of course, it helps if you have a standard form you can rely on to place your direct opener in so you have a rough idea what you're going to say everytime you use it. This helps you crowd out anxiety and be able to slide right into opening a new woman pretty much on demand. All you've got to be able to do is say what you already know how to say.

This excerpt from my eBook How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams is going to take you straight into the heart of communicating genuine interest in women with a direct opener and give you the basics you'll want to follow... as well as the mindset that comes with.