Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

How to Answer "Why Don’t You…?" Questions from Women

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By: Chase Amante

why don't you questionsGirls say the darnedest things. When they hit you with challenge questions about what you are or are doing, how can you best respond? Like this:

On my recent article about triggering women to ask you questions, a reader asks:

Chase,

How do you answer the question of why are you single, never married, or why you don’t have any children as an older man?

What would be a good way to answer that if you’re an average guy?

I can see some men getting away with this if they have some type of business or something, but what if the man really didn’t want to settle down by choice?

Thanks

a common stumbling block for beginner (and even intermediate) socializers is such “put you on the spot” questions people ask about certain things.

In particular, about things you should be or should have done (based on conventions, that is), yet are not or have not – or these questions’ close cousins, why you ARE doing something you’re doing or HAVE something you have (that ordinary people don’t). These include questions like:

  • “Why are you single?”
  • “Why don’t you have a job?”
  • “Why don’t you have a BETTER job?”
  • “Why don’t you like [some trendy thing]?”
  • “Why don’t you work out?”
  • “Why don’t you own your own home?”
  • “Why don’t you have a car?”
  • “Why don’t you have any friends?”
  • “Why are you going out alone?”
  • “Why are you talking to strangers?”
  • “Why are you talking to me?”
  • “Why do you have that?”
  • “Why are you wearing that?”
  • “Why haven’t you ever married?”
  • “Why don’t you have kids?”

Etc.

You’ll get different questions depending on your age, the setting, and your situation.

However, every guy gets questions like these from time to time.

They’re great questions for people to ask, especially inquisitive women, because they reveal loads about you – most men stumble when they get these questions, so answer in revealing, unsmooth ways.

How must you answer questions like this so as to make your answer smooth?

[VIDEOS] Master Your Social Fundamentals

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By: Chase Amante

A few weeks ago on GirlsChase.TV we wrapped up our chapter on vocal fundamentals.

We’re now three (3) lessons into the next chapter of Fantastic Fundamentals: your social fundamentals.

Social fundamentals are an under-discussed aspect of attractive fundamentals. Once guys get interested in upping their passive value, body fundamentals (our first chapter) and fashion fundamentals (our upcoming fourth chapter) tend to attract the most of their attention.

Triggering Women to Ask You Questions

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By: Chase Amante

reciprocal questionsYou can trigger women to ask you questions by asking the same questions to them first. There’s more nuance to this than you’d think – and plenty ways to get it wrong.

The other day a forum member shared a video where a YouTuber approached a woman in the London tube. The approach went okay to a point; the YouTuber was a bit overly gamey, but the girl hung in there and tried to help him out, until they reached a point where he gave a really bad answer to a question she asked.

The question she asked was, “Are you single?”

His reply was to waffle a bit, hemming and hawing, before concocting a vague reply about his relationship status being a “gray area” (perhaps properly spelt ‘grey’ considering the YouTuber’s point of origin), then declaring to the girl that, “For you, single.”

This answer was terrible in a lot of ways:

  • It showed fear and uncertainty about saying the “wrong” thing (in other words, fear and uncertainty about how she might react – fear that he would “blow it”)

  • It showed evasiveness that made it seem like he has something to hide (not attractive)

  • It gave her unearned special privileges, with him telling her that “For her” he would give her availability he did not give to other women – but what has she done to earn that? So far, nothing

But above all it was bad because he triggered the question himself, yet did not have a reply to it.

He triggered the question by putting her on the spot with that question himself a moment earlier… then was totally unprepared when she asked him the same exact question right back.

After some awkward polite conversation more, the YouTuber went for the number close, at which point the girl wryly brought up his earlier “gray area” comment, telling him that perhaps when he’d figured his gray area out, they might run into each other again.

(I really like this girl. She was super cool. She tried to help him all through the approach, and even at the end she told him exactly what put her off and gave him a chance to fix it. All he was able to do was say that he was chasing her and that she should just give him her number anyway without even trying to handle her objection)

Today’s article is about such ‘triggered questions’:

How you can trigger questions yourself, what you can do with them, and also that all-important rule every time you trigger a question: be prepared to answer it (and all its variations) yourself!

Girls Flake Less as Your Value & Scarcity to Them RISES

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By: Chase Amante

girls flaking as a result of value + scarcityWhy do girls flake? Well, they wouldn’t flake if you were a super valuable guy they FEARED missing out on. Therein lies how to cut down girls’ flaking…

Over on the forum, we had a member report that a girl bartender he’d known a while agreed to go out with him, only to later flake, saying she was “getting to know somebody” and didn’t want to “drag neither him nor anybody into anything.” It was after all clear, she said, that his “plan to do something isn’t just as friends.”

In other words, so long as it’s just friends, she’s fine to do it with him.

If it isn’t, though, she isn’t.

Now, it’s possible the girl might’ve liked him romantically… a bit. These things are not always completely black and white. She was pretty friendly with him, and he talks about some lingering touch between them, being in a conversational bubble with her, etc.

Worth noting that all these interactions happened at her bar, where he was a patron of hers, and at one point met up with her there after she got off work for a chat in her bar. So all his interactions with her throughout were still firmly within the ‘customer frame’. It was only when he pushed to meet up with her outside of work that she excused herself.

So, genuinely attracted a bit (just not enough)? Or just a flirty girl? Could’ve been either.

I do, however, want to use this example to talk about the nature of flaking – and how dependent it is on the girl’s perception of a guy’s value + her perception of his scarcity.

Of course if you know girls who are in nightlife or other social venues a lot, you know they tend to be good at keeping things going with many different guys… good at creating this sense of closeness, of this feeling like things are gradually getting somewhere, all without actually allowing these flirtations to progress to the point where the girl has to put out or else lose the guy out of her back pocket.

Doubly so for girls who work wherever the guy visits them – they want cool guys coming back again and again, having nice chats, leaving nice tips.

If a girl likes you a bit, but not enough to definitely go out or hook up with you, the safest place for her to keep you is in that limbo where you simply do not know if she likes you as more than friends or not (sometimes she herself does not fully know… though she also might indeed know!). Then she can continue to enjoy you in her orbit, without having to decide to get serious about you or else cut you off.

However, all this flakiness gets much reduced as your value and scarcity rises in the girl’s eyes.

In fact, get your (subjective to her) value and scarcity high enough, and girls become significantly less likely to flake on you.

Tactics Tuesdays: The Room Check

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By: Chase Amante

room checkCheck the room you’re in to look for girls open to an approach – and other chances. The room check (or scan) can be a big help… if you know how to use it.

Here’s a little tactic that can serve as a gamechanger if you aren’t in the habit of using it yet: the room check.

Room checks are simple: you do a complete eyeball scan of a room to see what opportunities you can find. Get good at these, and you can zero in on girls you want to go for in just a few seconds of glancing around.

I should correct myself though – while the tactic is simple, you also have to know what you’re looking for to get much use out of it.

So let’s talk about when to use it, and what you’ll be looking for when you do.

Why Sexually Inexperienced Men Are So Clueless with Women

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By: Chase Amante

sexually inexperienced men cluelessMany sexually inexperienced men tend toward dogmatic, unrealistic views of women. Why is this so, and how do you get a firmer grasp of feminine realities?

Over the years, our staunchest critics and most vociferous opponents to seduction advice have been not women (many of whom say they like this site) nor sexually and romantically experienced men (who always find something they like here, even if they do not agree with absolutely everything) but men who are sexually inexperienced. Often it doesn’t come out until later in the debate that the guy doesn’t actually have much experience with women – or any at all.

They maintain generalities like:

  • “You can’t get a woman if you [some alleged handicap – aren’t of the same culture, are N years older or younger than her, aren’t willing to do some certain act like pay for meals, etc.]”

To any man with a modicum of romantic experience, the positions sexually inexperienced men hew so firmly to seem extreme, one dimensional, dogmatic, and unrealistic. The inexperienced man views romance as a caricature, warped all out of proportion with its reality.

He is, in other words, clueless.

Not every sexually inexperienced man is dogmatic in his certainty of how everything he has yet to experience in full works. Plenty of men are open-minded. But plenty more are not.

Why should this be so, though? Why can’t a man just read a few things, watch a few things, and know all there is to know about a subject? Why aren’t all men inexperienced in a thing open-minded about the things they have not much experienced?

Seduction According to the Tao of Steve, Pt. 2: Be Excellent

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By: Chase Amante

tao of steve be excellentTo make women chase you and deeply desire you, you must be better than other men. You must be, in a word, excellent. The Tao of Steve shows how.

Last time, we talked about the first part of the Tao of Steve’s trifecta of seduction maxims, be desireless.

People all want what they can just barely not have – and an attractive man who is personable with her but who for some reason she cannot seem to get to chase her drives a woman wild.

Of course, if ALL you have is desirelessness, it’s not enough.

Buddhist monks are desireless, but you don’t see women lining up to tear their robes off. Ditto for asexuals – no girl’s trying to wriggle her way into Mr. Asexual’s My Little Pony khakis.

Thus, we arrive at maxim #2 from the Tao of Steve: Be Excellent.

But not just any kind of excellent.

The kind of excellent that makes women want to rip your clothes off and get lewd.

Tactics Tuesdays: Framing Phone Calls to Girls in the 2020s

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By: Chase Amante

calling girls in the 2020sYou can and should still call girls on the phone – but mostly for specific purposes. There’s a trick to it, too: you must frame the call the proper way.

As phone calls have fallen out of fashion, guys feel even more awkward about calling girls now than they have in the past (and guys have always felt awkward about calling girls).

Calls have a somewhat more niche utility these days – but they ARE still immensely useful, and for girls of all ages and backgrounds… so long as you are using them for where they’re useful to use.

Like everything in seduction, however, it is all in how you frame things.

The frame you want when you call most girls nowadays?

One of amused mild befuddlement.

Are You a Girl-Closer or a Wheel Spinner?

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By: Chase Amante

closers vs. wheel spinnersSome guys are closers: they will bed a girl even if it gets a little tough. Many men are wheel spinners: when the going gets tough, they give up. But why?

A short while back I wrote an article where I discussed a forum member who managed to sleep with a girl who was in a new league of beauty for him, but only after overcoming five hours of last-minute resistance.

One reader commented that this was not worth the effort, and not what a self-respecting man with abundant options with women would do. Instead, such a man would simply leave and pick another girl up.

This mentality sounds like it’d be correct, at least in theory. Doesn’t it? After all, we talk about things like outcome independence, willingness to walk away, being the prize, and so on. If it’s too difficult, you should just go find another girl just like her it’s not that difficult with – right?

But real world practice is much different from theory, and things that sound reasonable on paper very quickly become unreasonable in practice.

In practice, you learn that if you want success with women, you must be able to close the girls you’ve got, rather than giving up just before the goal and going out to start the whole process over again seeking out some other girl.

The guys who give up when the going gets tough aren’t the successes.

Instead, these are the guys who end up spinning their wheels more than anybody else.

Nevertheless, there is a reason the men who spin their wheels a lot do so, too – and we’ll talk about that today as well.

Tactics Tuesdays: Embarrassing Stories

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By: Chase Amante

embarrassing storiesThe embarrassing story: told right it can build you up as it entertains. The secret to a good embarrassing story is a “triumphant subplot” lain within.

One big differentiator between extremely socially skilled and comfortable people and everybody else is the highly skilled conversationalist’s use of (superficially) embarrassing stories.