Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

How to Win Frame Wars

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By: Alek Rolstad

how to win frame warsYou can’t always avoid a frame war. If you find yourself in one, you’re going to use one of these tactics to come out the winner.

Hey guys and welcome back!

In my last two posts, we discussed frame wars. The first explained what frame wars are (they happen quite frequently, especially in night game). The second post outlined some preventive measures to help you avoid frame war agony since prevention is the best cure.

Frame wars occur when a girl tries to wrestle the meta-frame away from you and switch things from her chasing you back to you chasing her. Whoever holds the frame is considered the prize.

She may try to steal the frame because:

  • Society has programmed her to believe she is the prize

  • When men chase, her ego is satisfied

  • It makes her look good socially and bad if she chases you

But it can also be due to her simply wanting you badly, and the best way to get you (and rightfully so) is to make you chase.

The problem is that the moment you start chasing, you fall into her frame, which means that she will be in charge of the interaction. This goes against her idea of you as a dominant man, which she finds attractive. It also means she will be framed as higher value than you. It is problematic since women tend to fall for higher-value males. Also, you will satisfy her ego, and when she is satisfied, she will have nothing left to gain from you and will be able to comfortably move on, so you will lose her.

In my last post, I suggested that you avoid overusing meta-framing techniques such as:

All are rapport-breaking techniques. What is wrong with rapport-breaking techniques? They push you away from each other when you should be moving closer. The tension caused by meta-framing techniques should be treated merely as a “necessary evil” to boost compliance. The caveat being that it is a double-edged sword, so if overused, it can cause unwanted effects such as auto-rejection or, worse — frame wars.

Rapport-breaking techniques may make her feel undervalued, tooled, and powerless. They represent ego hits, offending her conception of herself as the prize. If pushed to the brink, she may respond by declaring a frame war.

So avoiding the overuse (not use) of meta-framing techniques is a great way to dodge frame wars.

Yet, sometimes frame wars are unavoidable. That’s just the way it is. Maybe you miscalibrated and overused meta-framing techniques when they weren’t warranted. Perhaps that’s the way she is, or something in the context of the interaction triggered it accidentally.

What do you do if you sense a frame war coming? That’s what this post will answer.

What Is a Frame War?

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By: Alek Rolstad

frame warWhat is a frame war? This phenomenon occurs when someone seeks to seize control of the frame from you and you seek to seize it back.

Hey guys. Welcome back!

Last week we looked at the meta-frame and how to set it. To recap, the meta-frame is the “frame of frames,” a frame that must be respected and set to acquire the benefits from other key frames (social and sexual frames). This is the frame where you are the prize, and she chases you, which must be set and maintained. Every other frame you set must be coherent with the meta-frame.

The meta-frame positions you as the prize, and she chases you. All frame control becomes difficult or nearly impossible without it since the prize has the most power and compliance over the other, so that person will be the dominant one in the interaction.

Dominance is not about being a dick toward other men or acting like an obnoxious bad boy. It involves your ability to set and control the interaction's frames and having people accept them. That’s dominance. And women like dominant men, which means they like men who set and maintain frames.

The meta-frame makes her compliant to you – very compliant if strong enough. Yet something interesting happens sometimes: frame wars.

You are in a frame war when you have the meta-frame (she is chasing you), and the girl wants to turn it around and steal the meta-frame.

A frame war emerges when you both want the other to chase. Wars are always devastating, and the same applies here: it usually generates tons of collateral damage.

Today’s subject is frame wars and their implications. Next week I will discuss how to avoid them and deal with them when they occur.

So, first things first: how do you know when you are in a frame war?

How to Set a Meta-Frame for Successful Seductions

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By: Alek Rolstad

setting the meta-frameFrames are easier to set with the right meta-frame in place. Yet frames feed into the meta-frame to. So how do you set one conducive to success with the women you want?

Hey guys! Welcome back.

Last week we went over meta-frames – what they are and why they are essential. A successful seduction involves the meta-frame to some extent; no two ways around it unless you get lucky, which can also happen.

The meta-frame is “prizability,” the frame where you are the prize and women chase you, instead of the other way around. More importantly, it gives you full control over the frame of the interaction. By default, this will allow you to lead the interaction and come off as dominant (and no, dominance, in this case, is not being the big tough guy who chops wood. We’re talking about social dominance with frame control).

The lack of a meta-frame makes most seductions collapse.

Imagine you want to set a social frame by establishing rapport, and you do so from a frame of neediness (against the meta-frame). You will come off as “try-hard” – trying too hard to get to know her.

Imagine that you are trying to get her to invest in a needy way. That’s a paradox since you’re clearly investing in her and not the other way around.

Now imagine you are trying to set a sexual frame without respect for the meta-frame. You will come off as sexually desperate and perhaps creepy.

You need the meta-frame, or else it all falls apart.

But how is this frame set? That is what we will discuss today.

What Is the 'Meta Frame'?

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By: Alek Rolstad

meta frameThe meta frame is the frame of frames. Learn to set it and setting other frames gets far easier.

Hey guys, welcome back!

Lately, we’ve been discussing frames in-depth, in particular social and sexual frames. A frame is a lens or point of view that affects the way participants in an interaction interpret it and how they perceive you. Your contribution to the interaction will have an impact on its frame, contributing to its underlying meaning.

I went to great lengths to explain what a frame is in the post “What is a Frame?” so I won't repeat myself. For now, let’s stick to this overarching, simple definition of frames and frame control:

A frame is the perspective and underlying meaning of an interaction. It dictates and defines the characteristics of the interaction – the couple’s social standing, role, and main features.

Frames are about “who are you to her?” and “who is she to you?”. In group settings, when you encounter social circles and night game, frames define who you are to each other.

Each action affects the narrative or underlying meaning of the interaction. They “set the tone” of the interaction. But each action also affects people’s perception of the receiver – your actions will define her perception of you.

The intermediaries between “actions” and “perceptions” are frames.

Actions –> Frames –> Perception

In my latest posts on frames, I discussed social and sexual frames. Social frames involve seduction, her internal reality regarding what she perceives as a socially acceptable or socially fit sexual mate. Your role is to set the right social frame – making her feel that you are a guy who is suitable to her on a social level (I shared numerous tools on how to achieve that).

Why is this crucial? It reduces many forms of resistance (like female state control, when she resists your moves so she doesn’t get carried away by a man who is potentially not her type socially), but it also generates compliance. It also serves as a good “security web” whenever her mood drops and her arousal fades. A bad social frame will make her regret getting carried away by your sexy escalation when that arousal fades. (“Oh crap! Why did I let myself get carried away by THAT GUY?”). According to Chase, it creates a higher floor to land back on when the effects of stimulation (escalation, etc.) fade. But it also generates a higher ceiling, as a social frame can increase her compliance level and allow you to escalate and set sexual frames with ease. So, it is a key aspect.

There are sexual frames, which put sex on the table, giving the interaction a sexual undertone, making it sexual. This is important to escalate the vibe, but it can also up her compliance levels. If sexual frames are set early enough, they help you avoid deadly pitfalls such as the friendzone and last-minute resistance (when she resists at the last minute right before you are about to have sex with her). Most importantly, sexual frames allow you to speed up the seduction and make it smoother.

So, both types of frames are essential to successful seductions.

But these frames aren’t worth much and will have a negligible impact if they aren’t coherent with what we call the “meta-frame.”

Why You Should Set a Sexual Frame... And How to Do It

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By: Alek Rolstad

sexual frameSet some sexual frames, and watch her become aroused, compliant, and hooked in. Sexual frames make a seduction easier – and there are 8 ways to set them.

Hey guys. Welcome back!

In my last article, we discussed sexual frames, what they are, and how they differ from social frames. If you want to learn about sexual frames, I recommend reading my previous post. Sexual frames help make your interaction “sexual.” They frame you as a sexual guy, affecting her perception of you. They guide the interaction between you and the girl to be sexual, giving it an underlying sexual meaning, since that’s what frames do.

Why would that be so important? Not only does it arouse her and put her mind on SEX, but it may also make her perceive your non-sexual moves or words as sexual since she will perceive YOU as a sexual being. It will change the filter through which she sees the interaction and you.

But, if you are not convinced yet, I will give a few more reasons why sexual frames are important – not just important but CRUCIAL. I will start by listing some benefits they provide. Next, I’ll present the main reasons why sexual frames can save you from a lot of trouble. (Last-minute resistance? Friendzone? Interactions that go nowhere?)

I will end by giving you some clues on how to set a sexual frame!

So, let’s jump into it.

What Is a Sexual Frame?

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By: Alek Rolstad

sexual framesSexual frames are crucial to taking your courtships out of the platonic. Yet unlike social frames, they won’t set themselves. You must set them intentionally to see romance blossom.

Hey guys, and welcome back!

So far, we’ve learned what a frame was in my post, “What is a frame?” We discussed how frames are internal and external points of view in the way we interpret something.

Setting a frame in a social interaction becomes the art of affecting the way someone perceives:

  • A discussion

  • A phenomenon

  • Its interlocutors (you) and their role with the contribution to the frame

We have previously discussed social frames, namely the social aspect of seduction.

Women have an internal social frame. It’s the way she sees herself in the social world. These aspects play key roles:

In her selection of mates, she is more likely to allow herself to be stimulated mentally and sexually (and hence hook up) with a mate that suits her social frame. These include her social identity (socio-economic and cultural background), value systems, and all the expectations that stem from them.

When a man sets a social frame incoherent with hers, resistance occurs. Most likely, she will hold herself back from getting carried away by your escalation (we call this female state control, or FSC).

Fluff Talking with Girls (in a Productive Way)

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By: Alek Rolstad

fluff talkMany guys make the mistake of asking lots of superficial questions without paying attention to what girls say.

Hey guys, and welcome back!

Today we will go over a basic technique: how to keep a conversation interesting and intriguing, garnering you bonus points. Becoming skilled at this will help you generate compliance with women.

How to Set the Right Social Frame

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By: Alek Rolstad

setting social framesSetting the right social frame is an art you'd do well to learn to master; it is crucial in seduction.

Hey guys!

Last week our discussion centered on the social frame – explaining what it is while clearing up some misconceptions.

What Is a Social Frame?

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By: Alek Rolstad

social frameShe has her own internal frame, and you would do well to reframe it, if it is in your interest to do so.

Hey guys, Welcome back!

Last week we looked at what a frame is and its importance in pick-up and seduction.

A frame is basically the same as a perspective - a lens through which you see and perceive the world. It stems from our own social constructions (i.e., internal frames – our sense of reality) and is deeply linked to our social identity.

Frames can be projected, becoming externalized. This happens when our internal frames are projected into the social space.

Since frames are socially constructed by default, they can also be deconstructed and reconstructed. This is key because it is the anvil upon which proper game is forged.

The interaction you have with someone has a frame – both you and the girl “convey” or “display” your own internal frames and contribute this way to the interaction. When your frames mesh, a new frame emerges.

Good pick-up skills involve being aware of your frames, her frames, and how to convey yours in a smooth way, reframing hers as negative (those that work against you at any rate) and so influence the new frame that emerges in the interaction between you and your interlocutors (for example the girl you're chatting with).