Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

What Is a Social Frame?

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By: Alek Rolstad

social frameShe has her own internal frame, and you would do well to reframe it, if it is in your interest to do so.

Hey guys, Welcome back!

Last week we looked at what a frame is and its importance in pick-up and seduction.

A frame is basically the same as a perspective - a lens through which you see and perceive the world. It stems from our own social constructions (i.e., internal frames – our sense of reality) and is deeply linked to our social identity.

Frames can be projected, becoming externalized. This happens when our internal frames are projected into the social space.

Since frames are socially constructed by default, they can also be deconstructed and reconstructed. This is key because it is the anvil upon which proper game is forged.

The interaction you have with someone has a frame – both you and the girl “convey” or “display” your own internal frames and contribute this way to the interaction. When your frames mesh, a new frame emerges.

Good pick-up skills involve being aware of your frames, her frames, and how to convey yours in a smooth way, reframing hers as negative (those that work against you at any rate) and so influence the new frame that emerges in the interaction between you and your interlocutors (for example the girl you're chatting with).

What Is a Frame?

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By: Alek Rolstad

frames: definitionFrames are one of the key cornerstones in pickup and seduction. But what exactly are they?

Hey guys, and welcome back!

Today I’d like to discuss theory and cover frames. Frame control, framing, and frames are key cornerstones in pickup and seduction. If I had to keep only one tool in my arsenal, I would keep frame control – there, I said it. I wrote a detailed guide on frame control, but I’ve never dedicated a post to explaining what a frame actually is and what our community means by that word. All this site’s contributors and those on other sites will use terms like frames. And yet, I haven’t seen it explained thoroughly. I hope this post will rectify this.

This post is suited for both advanced guys and beginners. First, I’ll cover the straightforward basics about frames and what they are. The second part is rather advanced and quite theoretical. (If you’re a theory junkie, you’ll love it).

If you came here merely to get a definition of frames, you’ll only need to read the first half.

Still, it’s important to make this post understandable to newer guys, and I hope it will clear up misunderstandings you may have. Finally, we’ll have frames covered comprehensively once and for all.

Are Open-Minded Women Different Than Reserved Women?

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By: Alek Rolstad

sexually liberated girls easierIn-your-face sexually promiscuous girls are not what they seem. Neither are "conservative" girls...

Hey, all! Today we will debunk one of the biggest biases in the seduction community. Even as a skilled seducer, I’ve fallen for this in the past, and I still do it on bad days.

This post is to educate you and help me become more conscious of a bias I experience. Debunking this bias will give you success with women and hopefully make things seem less scary. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

What I’m about to discuss is something only skilled seducers seem to be aware of. Ironically, we haven’t discussed it here before.

Girls who seem less sexually liberated or “upfront” are not necessarily harder to lay than so-called “sluts” (I don’t like this word) or “easy” girls, who tend to be more sexually expressive and open.

It follows that these girls may be easier to smash (and easier to deal with in a relationship) than more “sexually liberated” or “expressive” chicks.

This doesn’t mean sexually liberated and expressive women are always harder to bed than more “stuck-up” girls. Nor does it mean “stuck-up” women are necessarily easy to get. The point is: assessing how easy a girl is to roll in the hay with based on how much she expresses sexual intent or how liberal her attitudes are can be a mistake.

We’ll start by looking at WHY sexually liberated girls may not be as “easy” as they seem before making the case for more sexually “restricted” girls.

Assessing Seduction Difficulty

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By: Alek Rolstad

assessing seduction difficultyBeing able to assess difficulty is a key tool in seduction, as it helps you optimize your efficiency and success rate.

Hey guys! Today I will share a post for our advanced readers. This post may serve players of all levels, but it may be a bit heavy for the less experienced.

Nevertheless, it is an interesting subject. We’ll go over why a particular girl or group is hard to seduce.

As you will see, it can be tricky to assess, and so it should be obvious that you are likely to be wrong in your assessments (the harder something is, the more likely you are to make mistakes). Hence the message is: don’t overthink and waste your energy but instead go for it. You may realize that some girls are not that hard to get, even though they may initially have come across as hard nuts to crack.

And if they are hard to get, the challenge will provide you with valuable lessons.

These are some simple facts to consider.

This post will cover different variables in determining how hard a girl is to seduce. I will leave out one variable I have covered in-depth in a previous article: girls put up various types of resistance at different phases of the interaction. Some are hard to approach but easy to extract once you hook them in; others are easy to approach but hard to extract. Some are easy to both approach and extract but infernally difficult to escalate to sex with.

So keep this variable in mind as you read this post.

Removing Fear Through Good Practice (Rejection Part 1)

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By: Alek Rolstad

removing fearMen are afraid of rejection. But there are ways to optimize yourself to rarely encounter it.

Editor's note: this is Part 1 of Alek's 2-part series on fear and resistance. We mistakenly published Part 2 first. You can read Part 2 of the series here.

Hey all! I hope you’re doing great.

Today I want to discuss a simple subject that many men have issues with: “making a move.” This could be:

  • Approaching,

  • Escalating the vibe

  • “Going for the kill” (Inviting her to go home with you)

We won’t be covering anything new. Instead, we’ll be going over well-trod ground, but covering old concepts in a new light, giving readers clarification on how things fit together. This post is mostly suited to beginners, but intermediate players may also benefit.

Guys may hold themselves back from making a move, understandably, due to fear of rejection. There’s no sense pretending rejections are pleasant. The truth is they can hurt our egos or even our dignity as men.

As a result, many have suggested using mindsets or mental exercises to counter these fears. I’m not here to say these don’t work, as they can be beneficial. However, I want to offer a more practical solution or mindset to help conquer these fears. My solutions aren’t intended to discredit others you may seek to apply. We aren’t dealing with an “either/or” dichotomy but rather something you can ADD to your arsenal.

So, let’s get on with it.

Resistance Is Not Rejection (Rejection Part 2)

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By: Alek Rolstad

resistanceResistance is not rejection. Pros know this and calibrate accordingly. Novices think it's the end of their chances with the girl they're talking to.

Editor's note: while this is Part 2 of Alek's series on fear of rejection, we mistakenly published it first. You can read Part 1 here.

Hey guys, welcome back!

Last week I discussed how to counter different forms of anxiety regarding “making a move” with girls, whether we’re dealing with:

  • Approach anxiety

  • Fear of escalating the vibe

  • Fear of going for the kill (attempt an extraction)

Some of you have experienced great results through affirmations and other techniques (inner game). Others have conquered anxieties with meeting women by repeatedly exposing themselves to rejection.

I won’t deny that for some, these strategies may work. However, they simply don’t work for me. I’m a practical guy; I want practical solutions to my problems. Whenever I know that I have an answer to any potential difficulty I may face, I feel more comfortable and less anxious about the situation.

It’s from this point of view that I decided to write a two-part series on this subject. Last time we discussed the many causes of resistance and rejection. Being aware and knowing how to avoid these issues will grant you better results and allow you to feel more confident and relaxed since you know you can potentially avoid resistance and rejection.

Resistance may still occur, but with my advice, it can be a lighter form that is less hostile or scary. More importantly, that “lower caliber” resistance (sometimes facing resistance is simply unavoidable) will be easier to deal with.

That alone should make you feel more at ease with making a move (that’s the message from my last post). But what if you could prevent the mistakes that trigger resistance and deal with it whenever it bears its ugly face? What if you could turn resistance around to your benefit?

Would making a move seem scary then? You’d not only know how to prevent resistance (the subject of my last post) but also know to circumvent it and turn things around. There wouldn’t be any lingering fears, or they’d be greatly minimized. Worst-case scenario you’d enjoy the practical benefits of doing things right, which would give you better results.

Today I’ll discuss how you can learn to handle resistance and turn it around, listing the different strategies. I won’t write about anything new here but will share some basics in a new light so newer readers can take the message and get more results. More experienced guys may view this post as a good recap.

Recommended Reading: Alek's 2021 List

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By: Alek Rolstad

recommended reading 2021Alek’s recommended reading list. Included: books on philosophy and meaning, and a trove of tomes on sex, romance, and romantic relationships.

Hey everyone! I hope you’re all doing well.

Today I would like to share my reading list. Chase (part 1 | part 2) and Tony Depp (here) have done so in the past, and it’s time I joined the fold.

I usually read academic books that tend to be technical. Although some may be more challenging than others, which is good for you, none are on this list. I also read many scientific publications. I could write a separate article covering interesting papers that I like to read about sexuality and related subjects (within the theme of this site).

The books I am about to recommend are primarily related to the subjects of:

  1. Dating

  2. Sex

  3. Relationships

Other books are about moral philosophy and political theory. They are interesting as they discuss themes like human nature and society.

If not directly related to our field, they can apply to the discussion. I will try to clarify how they tie in with what we look at here, although I will also leave ideas open for you to interpret and apply the theories as you please.

All books written by philosophers are academic with no pseudo-scientific literature. I’m not a fan of cheap self-help philosophy. There will be none of that here.

Without further ado, here is a list of my all-time favorite philosophy books.

Naturalized Game: Make Seducing Women Work Your Way

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By: Alek Rolstad

naturalized gameWant to optimize your seductions? Step 1: learn effective canned routine concepts. Step 2: “naturalize” those concepts to fit your personal approach and style.

Hey guys!

Last week, in response to a reader’s question, I detailed the pros and cons of using canned routines to seduce women.

To recap, the benefits of using scripted gambits are:

  • You have well-thought-out techniques that have been tried and rehearsed by others designed to work at your disposal

  • Others can try your routine, comment, add changes and tweaks. This benefits the community

  • You have a working tool in your arsenal. You avoid talking for the sake of talking, and you can accomplish a specific goal with your words

  • It can reduce your nervousness when opening since you have a well-tested routine or gambit that has worked in the past. You don’t have to rationalize for not opening because you don’t have a good opener. Now you have one

  • Beginners especially can benefit from having clear guidelines for what works and what doesn’t in seduction. This is likely THE MOST important point

The cons:

  • Even though gambits show you what to say, you may find yourself in a protracted interaction where you run out of gambits and are left with nothing to say

  • The delivery can sometimes be artificial since it may not calibrate to you or your personality (probably why many men got seduced by the idea of “natural game” since it focuses on being more “you”). Guys can get stuck delivering a rehearsed script that mismatches the vibe of the interaction and the venue

  • You have little flexibility; you end up stuck within the gambit

  • Sometimes a magical gambit that worked 90% of the time will not work on a certain chick for whatever reason. (A dogmatic routine user would argue that you should learn more routines; a good solution, but it’s not the most effective, as we will see, and surely not the most pleasant)

  • You may feel alienated from the material since it is not yours (the exception is when you create your own material, which more experienced seducers do, myself included!)

Last week I discussed these pros and cons while sharing some historical elements behind routine-based game and why it lost popularity.

However, I realized I did not present a solution to the problem. Is natural game the way to go? Or should you stick to routines? In my opinion, the answer lies somewhere in between. Ideally, we would like to gather as many of the benefits of routine-based game while keeping it natural. In other words, get the best of both worlds.

I want to present my view of “naturalized” game. I initially wrote a post titled “Naturalized Game” around 2008. It didn’t get much attention, partly because it was short and did not deliver anything mind-blowing then. I did not spend the time or effort to make a good, solid argument for my position. But I intend to do so today.

Note that I have stuck with naturalized game since that day.

Before I discuss what this concept is and how it works, I need to clarify a few ideas.

Canned Game: Pros and Cons of Using It in Your Seductions

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By: Alek Rolstad

canned gameCanned game routines get a bad rep in the community since the natural game reaction. But are they really all that bad?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

On my second article about dealing with groups, DJM commented:

“Alek! Thanks for your great posts. Now that the mainstream pickup scene is filled with so much crap, it’s great that we have someone from the old school days still writing great content. I would really be grateful if you wrote a post about routines, gambits, and canned material. Nowadays, it’s taboo to mention routines or gambits in the community. You’re one of the few who still believes in and uses them. Please elaborate on how they can help – especially for beginners – and remove some of the stigma around them. Thanks a lot!!.”

Thank you for the kind words! Comments are what keep me motivated in doing the work I love: writing about pickup and seduction. So, thanks again.

 

Now, onto your request. As DJM implies, I think routines are misunderstood. What is a routine? In pickup and seduction, they’re ready-made techniques you can use as routines. The commentator is correct when he says there is a stigma surrounding them. It’s why we often prefer calling routines “gambits.”

In this post, I’ll discuss the pros and cons of using canned routines. Next week, I’ll explain my way of using routines, how they can benefit you, and how they can give you ALL THE PROS without THE CONS listed in this article.

First, I need to discuss some theories on why routines have such a bad rep.