5 Super Common Reasons Guys Get Rejected by Girls

Rejection stings.

Guys would ask out a lot more girls if the fear of getting rejected by girls did not hold them back.

For those of us who've figured out approaching, of course, it's a good thing this fear holds so many guys back. Just think how much more challenging it'd be to get girls if every guy could fearlessly approach!

Yet what if you're a dating novice and girls keep rejecting you?

Well, if you're a learner, and you've embarked on bringing new women into your life, that fear of being rejected by girls is one of the hurdles you must overcome.

You overcome it in part by learning how to act when a girl rejects you.

You also overcome it in part by becoming more resilient to rejection itself.

However, you additionally must overcome it by learning the reasons why women reject men, and adjusting your approach to correct for them... or, if correction can't be made (as with our first reason below), then accepting it and steeling yourself against a little rejection as an unavoidable part of 'the game' (you didn't think it would be a total cakewalk, did you?).

So here it is, our top five (5) reasons girls reject guys... plus what things you can do about it.

 

Girls Reject Guys Because Most Girls Are Unavailable

A while back we ran a survey of 3,814 American women ages 18-34. One of the questions we asked was whether they're single. Here's how they answered:

It actually varies quite a bit by age:

• Among women aged 18-24 the number single is 28.1%

• Among women aged 25-34 it is only 16.7%

As women age, they become increasingly less likely to be single. Presumably they are getting into longer-term relationships, moving in with their boyfriends, marrying and settling down, and so on.

Of course, some women who are attached are nevertheless available (they might be in open relationships... or they might be on the prowl for affairs). Likewise, some women who are as yet unavailable (they're going through something in life that makes dating right now difficult, for instance).

But, overall, we can say with confidence that only a fraction of the women you see each day are, in fact, actually available.

Most of them in fact are not.

You will not know if a girl is available or not before you approach.

Not unless you're only approaching girls you know really, really well.

Even if a girl's from your close social circle, you often won't know if she's secretly seeing some guy... or if she broke up with that guy she was seeing weeks ago but told no one she'd broken up.

The simple fact of the matter is most of the girls you approach, when you approach them, will not be available, so will reject you for that reason (their own unavailability) alone.

You might be very attractive to them. They might like you a lot! They might be flattered you approached.

However these girls reject you regardless because, well, they already have a man.

On average, that means 72% of the 18-24 y/o women you approach and 83% of the 25-34 y/o women you do are not going to be single.

There's little you can do about this, aside from making "Are you single?" one of the first questions you ask.

You must simply accept that most girls are unavailable as dating partners... and that you have no way to know who's who until you approach her and ask.

 

Girls Reject Guys Who Wait Too Long

One of the commonest mistakes guys make is this:

They wait too long!

Girls reject guys who don't make things happen quick enough.

What do men wait too long to do? A panoply of things!

Men wait too long to:

• Talk to girls they like
• Ask out girls they talk to
• Set up dates with girls they ask out
• Invite girls home on dates (or at the bar/party/elsewhere)
• Kiss girls once they're somewhere private
• Escalate to intimacy once they're kissing
• Ask to see girls again once they've been together once

Some of it is understandable as 'nerves'. There's a big wariness of getting rejected by girls around these steps.

I can remember, a lifetime ago, being the guy who was too nervous to approach a really pretty girl, afraid she'll reject me... or being the guy who couldn't summon up the cajones to kiss her, even sitting next to her alone in my place.

Some of it though is hard for me to grasp, like the guys who make out with girls for hours but don't escalate to sex (what's happening there? I've always thought as kissing as a temporary way station).

Or the guys who sleep with a girl then don't text her for days because they are trying to do some sort of strategy. Meanwhile the girl goes from warm and fuzzy to hating their guts because they didn't follow up with her.

Regardless where in the interaction a guy waits too long (and for a lot of guys, it happens in several places), if you're waiting too long you will get rejected by girls.

Not because those girls weren't interested... but because they were, but you delayed, and attraction expired.

How do you stop delaying so long?

Read my article on moving faster with women for a little inspiration, and get yourself moving.

 

Girls Reject You When You Don't Handle Basics

What basics?

These basics:

• Smile
• Make eye contact
• Don't stand too far away
• Flirt
• Ask her out
• Stand up straight
• Project your voice

This is basic stuff, but it makes a HUGE difference to whether girls reject you or not.

Check out our article on making a good first impression for a better start on all these areas.

 

Guys Get Rejected by Girls When Their Approach Needs Tweaking

Did you remember to pre-open her so she looked at you before you began to talk?

Did you speak at the right pace (neither too fast nor too slow) to come across engaging and confident?

Did you remember to lock in (so you weren't standing out in space), move her (to get her to commit to the conversation), and ask for a little initial investment from her?

All these are parts of a good approach. All, when they're in place, help guard against a girl rejecting you.

If you're missing some of these, or other basic approach elements, the odds of rejection by a girl increase.

A rejection-resistant approach is one that handles what's necessary to stay "in the game" with a girl you've met.

You may want to see my piece on how to approach a girl to get the full details on doing this.

 

Girls Reject Guys Who Make It "Too Big a Deal"

One of the things you'll see a lot with guys who keep getting rejected by girls is making things a big deal.

People dislike pressure. If it feels like a big deal when you ask her out, she will reject you to wiggle out of that.

That means no "I like you. I'd like to take you out to dinner sometime."

(that almost makes it sound like you want to propose!)

Instead, make it low pressure and casual: "We should get food or a drink sometime."

"Let's hang sometime." Etc.

You will get rejected by girls far less when you make things casual.

Even if she isn't that interested, it's almost rude to say "no" to a cool guy who's being casual about it!

I give a full rundown on how to make asking girls out pressure-free in my article on that if you'd like tips.

 

Fix Those 4 Things, and You'll Get Rejected a Lot Less

You can't fix the unavailability of attached women (unfortunately!).

That's one thing you can't change.

You will have to accept that around 80% of women you approach are not single and won't be available.

Of the remaining 20% or so, some will like you, some may not.

Either way, you'll need to do things right to get them (instead of get rejected by them!).

The things you want to get right include:

• Not waiting too long to make moves
• Handling the basics when you meet
• Approaching without making key mistakes
• Keeping things casual & pressure-free for her

Get those right, and you'll put an end to too-frequent rejections by girls.

You'll start getting more and more successes with them (dates, lovers, and more) instead.

Chase