Confidence

You're walking down the street and you see a really hot girl walking toward you down the block.

"Wow, this girl is really beautiful! I should go introduce myself" you think. As the two of you near one another, you're able to study her every aspect: the swing of her hips... the smoothness of her hair... the look of her form fitting dress – it's all amazing.

The two of you come side-by-side, and you see her greet you with a pair of beautiful eyes and a subdued, but warm, smile. A flurry of fantasies begins to rush through your head. You start to think about how idyllic it would be to take walks in the park with her; you think about going on thrilling adventures with her; you think about taking her back to your place, clinking glasses of wine, pulling her lips into yours, and having passionate sex.

You go to open your mouth and say something to her… but no words come out. You're too nervous. Why would a hot girl want to talk to me?

She pauses for a second more to see if you'll do anything… but then she disappears into the distance… never to be seen again.

And you keep walking… kicking yourself and asking why you couldn't just say something to her.

Sound familiar? Do you want to learn how to prevent this scenario from happening to you? Do you want to learn how to chat up stunning girls wherever you are without it being a big deal?

If so, read on, my friend.

To succeed as a seducer, you must take risks. But that isn’t always easy to do.

Tell me if this has ever happened to you:

You meet a girl, and she is absolutely beautiful, and she is warm and friendly and flirtatious, and you really want to make her yours… but anxiety crops up when you know it’s time to move forward by making a transition, asking her out, or getting physical with her.

This is a monumental roadblock that every guy, myself included, has ran into at some point in his life. And, if you’re an avid student of seduction like I am, you have probably had this happen a lot.

Even though the frustration you end up feeling after the fact is far less distressing than actually doing something with that beautiful, friendly girl and seeing your attempts fail, you instead do nothing (and probably end up watching her get swept off her feet by some other guy who was courageous enough to make things happen with her).

It’s crazy-making, and the more averse you get to taking risks, the more you get used to this feeling of watching opportunity walk right past your door, and the more you accept the feeling you have when you let those opportunities pass you by.

A trend you see a lot in this field is that guys stumble on the material, dive into it, read all about it, get really excited about it, then... do absolutely nothing.

They don't get off their butts and go cold approach.

They don't start asking out more women on dates.

They don't even start cleaning up their looks and body language much.

Not all guys - there are plenty who set themselves to work with gusto transforming themselves into new versions of old them - but a pretty healthy clump of them.

And then there's the "how bad do you really want it?" problem that the guys who do apply themselves run into: they put a little energy into it... but not nearly enough to get themselves where they really want to get to (e.g., absolute abundance, or a steady stream of really sexy new girlfriends or casual relationships).

Because let's face it: whether you're talking about getting good with girls, or starting your own business, or learning a new skill that's going to up your asking price on the job market, or bettering your grades in school, or anything else that requires you to really sit down and start cranking away at something hard that takes time, most folks just aren't going to do it.

Yet, if you understand why you aren't doing something you really wish you would do, you may just be able to unlock the secret path to getting yourself there after all - and the gatekeeper at the portal to this path is a little phenomenon known as "effort aversion."

Whether it’s the art of seduction, social prowess, travelling the world, starting a new business, or just picking up a new hobby, every man wants to be fearless. Every man wants to be able to take life by the horns, challenge his own hesitations, and take a step into making himself better.

But how do you do it? How do you overcome fear?

Not just with jobs, not just with your social life, but with everything?

Today I’m going to talk about being fearless. I’m going to show you that you can transform yourself into a person who pursues his goals with endless determination.

Let’s go.

One of the pieces I promised sometime back was a write-up on identities, and the role these play in your social interactions, seductions, dating, and relationships.

Identity is a huge, important topic with vast implications for how you move through society, but it isn't one that's much talked about because it's difficult to conceptualize, and more difficult still to nail down.

Nevertheless, having a grasp of what your identity is today, and what you'd like it to be tomorrow, helps shine a little more light on the direction you're headed in socially, and being aware of the different gradations of identity allows you to accurately pinpoint where you might be going right with a given identity, and where you may be going wrong.

So, join me on this journey through the looking glass, and let's examine the sometimes-strange and always interesting topic of your social identity.

Being charming is a trait most of us are taught to aspire to from a young age. From fiction novels to Disney movies, the ladies always seem to swoon for that man who can charm his way right into their hearts.

But how do you get to be a charming man? And how important is charm in your process of seduction?

Today I’m going to give you a comprehensive look into charm. And it probably won’t be exactly what you expect. Charm is a double-edged sword that can be a great boon in certain situations, but a harmful bane in others.

I’m going to help you figure out when it’s most useful, and how to effectively wield your charms for seductions and relationships.

In "What’s the Difference Between a Lover and a Loser?", Troy asked a question I've been seeing a lot on here lately regarding dealing with failure:

“Also chase id love to see an article on how to see failure as not bad, to love the plateau and not let setbacks stop us from pushing the times of doubt and uncertainty. Thanks and im looking for that when you can do it and it interests you as a topic for a post. The reason is because i see it in myself and almost every girls chase reader of not accepting that they will make mistakes and it makes me think. I think that if you could write on this that us readers us readers would accept failure especially beginners as essential, then every one of us would stop beating up our selves when we lose a girl and make mistakes, and then you may not need to ever be getting complaints again. then life changes. It is great to try our best but no one is perfect and we will mess up. thanks for helping and reading.”

We touched on failure and defeat a good bit already in "How to Master Anything", and I just talked about it a bit more recently in my interview with ITHP; today, I want to go a little more in-depth.

So, how does one deal with failure - especially social failure, the kind you must endure when learning to improve with women? Failure that's public; failure that's biting; and failure that cuts right to the quick of one's ego and self-esteem?

And make no mistake about it, you will take a beating to your sense of self when you set out to improve your prospects socially and romantically. There's simply no other way to get better with people than by trying and failing with people - again and again and again.

It takes a certain kind of courage - and a certain attitude about dealing with failure.