(3) Journeyman

Once you’ve begun seeing a girl on a fairly regular basis, or you think you will likely start seeing her soon, you should be doing a lot of what I call passive screening in addition to any other screening you’re doing.

What’s passive screening? It is, quite simply, watching and learning. Keeping an eye on your woman’s actions, learning about her from. This is hands down the most effective way to really learn about your girl – how devoted is she, how much will she work for the relationship, how high or low risk is she.

One of the things that’s hugely important to remember to do after you sleep with a girl for the first time is to set the post-coital tone. That is, to let your girl know, to some degree, what she can expect from you, and what you expect from her.

Maybe it’s because I’m in Asia, but I seem to be meeting a lot of more conservative girls recently, and many of them have been throwing up a lot of initial resistance to kissing me. I used to run into this occasionally in the States, but nothing like what I’m seeing over here.

So what’s a guy to do? Well, what I’ve been doing is the same thing I’d do the odd time I’d run into women State-side who gave me resistance to kissing – I say resistance be damned and kiss her anyway.

I’m a big proponent of efficiency in all aspects of your life. Get things done faster, easier, and all in one shot, if at all possible, and you can get more accomplished in a shorter amount of time. Part of the reason I’m so gung-ho about efficiency, I think, is that I’m inherently a little bit on the lazy side… I don’t really want to spend a big chunk of time laboring over any one thing in particular.

Just wrote this in response to an interesting conversation elsewhere on the Internet, and want to share here. Hope you enjoy.

Most women, like most men, think about what the other person "owes" them more than what they owe the other person. The women I've hooked up with who were straying from their husbands seemed to come in one of two flavors:

• Woman Scorned, or
• Desperate Housewife

I've never slept with a married woman who was excited about / crazy in love with her husband. Here are some comments from the women who've spoken them:

I just read a fascinating article today that brings scientific research to bear on the topic of an old post I made that went on to be featured on some popular dating and seduction websites. The content still resonates and is still relevant today, and so I've reposted again here for you to see and read -- hope you enjoy.

19 December 2007

There’s a variety of reasons why women walk away from a conversation. Could be they’re bored. Could be they’re feeling uncomfortable. Could be they don’t think you like them or that you’re making fun of them too much or too hard. Could be their friends are pressuring them to go.

But whatever the reason, it’s in your best interest NOT to let them leave. They eject, leave, and walk away, and chances are you will never see them again. So yes, you can let them go, and tell yourself, “Well, I didn’t like that girl all that much anyway,” or, “No worries, there are plenty of fish in the sea.”

OR, you can put up a fight, and do what needs to be done to get her to stay. A guy who’s even somewhat seasoned can use the extra two, five, or ten minutes he gets from stopping an ejecting girl to turn things around, get her investing more, and get her feeling differently about him than she was before. If you do things right, you can correct all kinds of issues.

That’s what this post is about. Stopping women from ejecting. Getting them to stay. Giving yourself that second chance after you’ve messed things up because hey, we all do. Nobody shoots a hole-in-one every time he tees off.

So, that said, here are some tools you can use to stop them in their tracks and get them sticking around. Keep in mind that stopping them from leaving and getting them to stay is, in fact, getting a pretty big chunk of compliance out of them too, which does all kinds of good things for your cause. Let’s take a look.