(1) Beginner

Can you convince a girl to be your girlfriend by giving her stuff?

It's obviously not a strategy we recommend on this site. But LOTS of guys try to pull it off. So let's have a look.

A guy on Reddit talks about a girl who “let's just be friends”'d him six months ago, writing:

Earlier this week, I bought tickets for a musical next year that we both really want to see and she was over the moon. I really wanted to go with her but I thought maybe it could also be a good opportunity to ask her out again, seeing as it had been 6 months. She asked me how much tickets were and I told her, "Well, I was thinking maybe this could be a date. And in that case, no charge at all."

My friend told me she was sorry but still didn't have feelings, valued the friendship, etc. I told her it was fine and that I just thought I'd check in again and we moved on as usual. It hurt, but I was fine to just stay friends and hoped the feelings would eventually subside.

The next day, we started talking about the musical again. I mentioned the price of the tickets and she said something like, "Oh, I thought it was a gift?" I told her it would have been free if we were going as a date, but as friends, I'd want her to pay for hers. She got quite annoyed at me and accused me of trying to pay her back for not returning feelings. She told me she really didn't want to hurt me (and to her credit, her rejection was done as considerately as it can be) but this was really making her feel like I was trying to punish her for not reciprocating interest.

I tried to explain that I didn't mean it to come across like that, but these tickets were relatively expensive too and I just wasn't willing to spend that much on a friend. My friend told me she wasn't upset about having to pay for the ticket and she was always happy to do that, but she felt like this was me trying to get some petty revenge or even manipulation, that I didn't value her as a friend but just as someone I could maybe have a relationship with.

We see here the stereotypical nice guy / nice girl manipulation dynamic:

• Nice guy pretends to be fine with being friends, only to keep trying sneaky tactics at moments he has leverage to try to get dates

• Nice girl pretends to be surprised something nice guy offered her for free in exchange for a date is not still for free once she's turned down the date (and manages to get both tickets for free in the end -- see below)

In an update, the nice guy bends, giving the girl both tickets for free to invite whomever she wants. Meanwhile, the nice girl accepts the free tickets (of course... the actually gracious thing would be to say "No thanks, you keep them, take some girl you like instead" -- but this girl's not gracious), though says she will probably take the nice guy along. He's providing her free stuff and lots of fawning attention, without her having to give him anything in return... she is going to keep that going so long as it's still worthwhile to her.

While the whole thing is pretty cringeworthy, we must ask: does this technique ever sometimes work?

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There's a new kind of coaching in town, and it's set to get you bowling your dates over right in their chairs in the coffee shop or restaurant.

First off though:

• Have you ever taken a girl out, only to have things start well... yet go south... and as you walked away at the end of the date, certain you'd never see that girl again, you had no idea why?

• Do you ever run out of things to say to dates (and end up with that super awkward feeling that you're watching your shot with this girl die in real time)?

• Or do you sometimes mishandle the vibe (and suddenly a date that felt fine two minutes ago feels completely weird or off kilter)?

• Have you ever been on a date where no matter what you tried, you just couldn't get you and the girl to 'click'? You talked, and she talked, and she offered plenty of polite laughter to your jokes... yet both of you knew you were just killing time out of politeness, rather than any kind of legitimate shared connection.

These things are maddening when they happen. And for some guys, they happen a lot.

Even if they only happen to you sometimes, you still want them to not occur.

The good news is, if you go on enough dates, you will figure it out eventually... probably...

However, the even better news is rather than take 6 months or a year to fix those problems, you can put that process on rocket boosters instead.

The way you do that is with coaching and practice, tied together, working together, to let you zero in on exactly what you need to do differently -- then get you doing it.

To give you exactly this, I've assembled an A-team of Girls Chase coaches... PLUS a bevy of lovely, fetching 20-something gals I've handpicked to serve as your 'practice dates' to let you get this stuff DOWN.

The chats are real. The feedback is real. The coaching is deep.

And the dating learning curve you're on, once you're on this program, gets SLASHED in half (or even less).

Not all men are born lady killers. Lucky for us, the seduction community has proven time and again that even YOU can get hot girls by focusing on what you can control.

Because most guys haven’t had success "just being themselves," they think verbal game is the only essential skill in seduction. There’s no possibility that a girl may be waiting to meet a guy who looks like you, right? You’re not good looking, or tall, or rich. There’s zero chance that she may be single, bored, lonely, or horny, and you’re just her type at the right time and place?

It’s the men who don’t try often enough who are the first to cry “Only looks matter!” They have inner-game issues related to their self-image (e.g., I’m ugly). So, I get them to record audio of their approaches with their phones, and unsurprisingly, their conversations are boring: no emotion, no insights, just surface level small talk. Then they wonder why they’re getting phone numbers, but not dates. It must be because they’re so ugly, they figure.

I also get these eccentric guys. They show up dressed like bums, or clowns, with nose hairs jutting out, loose, dirty clothing, or fashion from 1996 hip hop culture. They never run out of things to say, and their conversations are anything but boring. They also believe they’re the most handsome of all men. They have astronomical self-esteem. But the women don’t want anything to do with them because they feel embarrassed being seen with these guys.

So as a coach, I quickly slot men into categories:

• Take the guy shopping (do a makeover)

• He needs grooming

• He must learn how to talk to women (female psychology)

• He needs inner-game confidence coaching (lacks self-esteem)

• He needs to tweak his fundamentals (body language, mindset, opening, etc.)

And so forth.

Every man can improve himself. But he has to believe it’s possible and be willing to put in the effort.

As far as these low-self-esteem cases, the one thing they have in common is that they’re “not enough.” They’re just not good enough (in their minds) to get the hot girls. They’re not good-looking enough, and they just don’t know what to say. They think if they could correct one of those issues, then everything would turn around for them.

That’s what they tell themselves, anyway. If they were better looking and had game, everything would work out. Well, isn’t that why we’re learning this stuff? Because we’re not all born handsome and witty?

It’s how I used to think, too: I wasn’t good enough for hot girls. I was too short, too fat, too skinny, too young, too old, too plain, and I had to talk myself attractive. Once I discovered the pickup community, it was like being handed a magic wand. All I had to do was practice these tactics and techniques, so I’d finally know exactly what to say to girls. Now, almost 14 years later, I still have no idea what to say to girls to get them to like me. But I’m a lot more confident, and women like that trait.

Here’s the truth about “Game.” As a science, it was made for average, frustrated chumps. Not good-looking, social geniuses.

We’ve learned:

• Maximizing your physical attractiveness by going to the gym, dressing better, improving posture, body language, eye contact, and vocal tonality.

• Female psychology, or what sort of behaviors are attractive to women: confidence, humor, bravery, ambition, social freedom, sexual liberation, being non-judgmental, etc.

• Increasing the number of women you meet, through cold approach at night and during the day, social circle, and online dating sites

Clubs are pits of sexual chaos, but nothing goes unnoticed. To position yourself as a guy who is destined to get laid, you’ve got to manage how you’re perceived.

So you are amid all the lights and the hammering bass, girls are in revealing outfits, and lots of alcohol is flowing. You want to get physical, but what do you do to make it happen?

In theory, everything is just right for mingling and getting things started, but in reality, most guys are hovering around the edges, and girls are self-isolating in their groups defending against the crass approaches that will inevitably be flung their way.

As a perceptive guy, you feel stuck in the middle, between the guys hovering around the edges and the girls who are assuming all incoming guys are missiles they ought to deflect.

You don’t want to be seen and rejected as one of “those guys,” but even worse, you don't want to just stand back and do nothing!

So how do you get physical in a club? By being observant and becoming skilled at reading and communicating body language.

Let's dive in.

For many of you sorry bastards, texting a girl can be an awful, anxiety-inducing journey of existential despair. What to text? When? How long should the text be? Should I be funny? What do I do?

Just chillax, brother. Let uncle Tony guide you through the mysterious world of women, texting a girl, and making sense of it all.

Women can tell you what things they want in a man… if you listen to their choice of insults. Things they might never admit consciously come spilling out.

Well, there you are online, minding your own business commenting on something, when what appears but a wild Angry Female Commentator!

And boy is she miffed!

She pulls out a few select stingers from her bag of Mean Things To Say, and ouch, they hurt!

You retreat to lick your wounds, smarting from a quick blast of pointed verbal abuse from some woman you don't know, who disagreed with what you had to say.

It's a not-uncommon scenario guys run into on the Internet. Sometimes in real life, too.

Even if you're more 'lurker' than 'participant', you've no doubt seen scads of men shredded by Angry Female Commentators in various comment sections of various websites... or at various parties or other social events.

'Small penis', 'lives at home', 'just a misogynist', and various other slanderous/libelous statements are such aggravated women's stock-in-trade.

However, if you look behind the words, there's an interesting psychological curiosity people communicate when they launch their insults.

That is this: we only insult people on measures we personally care about.

Put another way, by looking at women's insults, we can get a view to what things women want in a man... and also what they don't.

Give that chick a high five! Sounds pretty simple, right? But for beginners, it can be a challenge and a great way to learn the fundamentals of day game.

In part 5 of my day game tour, we covered various tips and tricks for day game, like warm-ups, hired guns, transitioning from indirect to direct, and more.

Today’s article is a dive into an exercise I employ in boot camps, and I’ll explain why it’s incredibly powerful for improving your day game.

As a coach, I’ve learned that teaching game is more than pointing and saying “Go talk to her.” The challenge is to nail down lessons on fundamentals, like vocal tonality, body language, and verbal game. You want experiences that push your comfort zone and give you reference memories so that you aren’t stumped when you encounter similar situations.

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. That’s one reason why learning game is so hard. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between going to war, and embarrassing yourself in public.

You have to train it.

Also, women love men who “don’t give a fuck.” If you are so embarrassed or worried about social fear that you can’t even give someone a high five… then you give way too many fucks.

On that note, here’s one of my favorite day-game exercises.