(1) Beginner

Not all men are born lady killers. Lucky for us, the seduction community has proven time and again that even YOU can get hot girls by focusing on what you can control.

Because most guys haven’t had success "just being themselves," they think verbal game is the only essential skill in seduction. There’s no possibility that a girl may be waiting to meet a guy who looks like you, right? You’re not good looking, or tall, or rich. There’s zero chance that she may be single, bored, lonely, or horny, and you’re just her type at the right time and place?

It’s the men who don’t try often enough who are the first to cry “Only looks matter!” They have inner-game issues related to their self-image (e.g., I’m ugly). So, I get them to record audio of their approaches with their phones, and unsurprisingly, their conversations are boring: no emotion, no insights, just surface level small talk. Then they wonder why they’re getting phone numbers, but not dates. It must be because they’re so ugly, they figure.

I also get these eccentric guys. They show up dressed like bums, or clowns, with nose hairs jutting out, loose, dirty clothing, or fashion from 1996 hip hop culture. They never run out of things to say, and their conversations are anything but boring. They also believe they’re the most handsome of all men. They have astronomical self-esteem. But the women don’t want anything to do with them because they feel embarrassed being seen with these guys.

So as a coach, I quickly slot men into categories:

• Take the guy shopping (do a makeover)

• He needs grooming

• He must learn how to talk to women (female psychology)

• He needs inner-game confidence coaching (lacks self-esteem)

• He needs to tweak his fundamentals (body language, mindset, opening, etc.)

And so forth.

Every man can improve himself. But he has to believe it’s possible and be willing to put in the effort.

As far as these low-self-esteem cases, the one thing they have in common is that they’re “not enough.” They’re just not good enough (in their minds) to get the hot girls. They’re not good-looking enough, and they just don’t know what to say. They think if they could correct one of those issues, then everything would turn around for them.

That’s what they tell themselves, anyway. If they were better looking and had game, everything would work out. Well, isn’t that why we’re learning this stuff? Because we’re not all born handsome and witty?

It’s how I used to think, too: I wasn’t good enough for hot girls. I was too short, too fat, too skinny, too young, too old, too plain, and I had to talk myself attractive. Once I discovered the pickup community, it was like being handed a magic wand. All I had to do was practice these tactics and techniques, so I’d finally know exactly what to say to girls. Now, almost 14 years later, I still have no idea what to say to girls to get them to like me. But I’m a lot more confident, and women like that trait.

Here’s the truth about “Game.” As a science, it was made for average, frustrated chumps. Not good-looking, social geniuses.

We’ve learned:

• Maximizing your physical attractiveness by going to the gym, dressing better, improving posture, body language, eye contact, and vocal tonality.

• Female psychology, or what sort of behaviors are attractive to women: confidence, humor, bravery, ambition, social freedom, sexual liberation, being non-judgmental, etc.

• Increasing the number of women you meet, through cold approach at night and during the day, social circle, and online dating sites

Clubs are pits of sexual chaos, but nothing goes unnoticed. To position yourself as a guy who is destined to get laid, you’ve got to manage how you’re perceived.

So you are amid all the lights and the hammering bass, girls are in revealing outfits, and lots of alcohol is flowing. You want to get physical, but what do you do to make it happen?

In theory, everything is just right for mingling and getting things started, but in reality, most guys are hovering around the edges, and girls are self-isolating in their groups defending against the crass approaches that will inevitably be flung their way.

As a perceptive guy, you feel stuck in the middle, between the guys hovering around the edges and the girls who are assuming all incoming guys are missiles they ought to deflect.

You don’t want to be seen and rejected as one of “those guys,” but even worse, you don't want to just stand back and do nothing!

So how do you get physical in a club? By being observant and becoming skilled at reading and communicating body language.

Let's dive in.

For many of you sorry bastards, texting a girl can be an awful, anxiety-inducing journey of existential despair. What to text? When? How long should the text be? Should I be funny? What do I do?

Just chillax, brother. Let uncle Tony guide you through the mysterious world of women, texting a girl, and making sense of it all.

Women can tell you what things they want in a man… if you listen to their choice of insults. Things they might never admit consciously come spilling out.

Well, there you are online, minding your own business commenting on something, when what appears but a wild Angry Female Commentator!

And boy is she miffed!

She pulls out a few select stingers from her bag of Mean Things To Say, and ouch, they hurt!

You retreat to lick your wounds, smarting from a quick blast of pointed verbal abuse from some woman you don't know, who disagreed with what you had to say.

It's a not-uncommon scenario guys run into on the Internet. Sometimes in real life, too.

Even if you're more 'lurker' than 'participant', you've no doubt seen scads of men shredded by Angry Female Commentators in various comment sections of various websites... or at various parties or other social events.

'Small penis', 'lives at home', 'just a misogynist', and various other slanderous/libelous statements are such aggravated women's stock-in-trade.

However, if you look behind the words, there's an interesting psychological curiosity people communicate when they launch their insults.

That is this: we only insult people on measures we personally care about.

Put another way, by looking at women's insults, we can get a view to what things women want in a man... and also what they don't.

Give that chick a high five! Sounds pretty simple, right? But for beginners, it can be a challenge and a great way to learn the fundamentals of day game.

In part 5 of my day game tour, we covered various tips and tricks for day game, like warm-ups, hired guns, transitioning from indirect to direct, and more.

Today’s article is a dive into an exercise I employ in boot camps, and I’ll explain why it’s incredibly powerful for improving your day game.

As a coach, I’ve learned that teaching game is more than pointing and saying “Go talk to her.” The challenge is to nail down lessons on fundamentals, like vocal tonality, body language, and verbal game. You want experiences that push your comfort zone and give you reference memories so that you aren’t stumped when you encounter similar situations.

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. That’s one reason why learning game is so hard. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between going to war, and embarrassing yourself in public.

You have to train it.

Also, women love men who “don’t give a fuck.” If you are so embarrassed or worried about social fear that you can’t even give someone a high five… then you give way too many fucks.

On that note, here’s one of my favorite day-game exercises.

To become a successful day-gamer, you need a good work ethic. Abiding by these three rules will focus your efforts and put you on the path to glory.

In part three of this series, I covered verbal game, experiential learning, conquering fear, the two-minute rule, and exposure therapy. See the pattern here? These are mostly inner game issues, rather than outer game techniques.

When you fix the inner game, the outer game fixes itself.

Think of a world champion fighter like Mike Tyson. He grew up on the streets of Brooklyn, dealing drugs and breaking into houses. As a young man, he was bullied by thugs. He learned how to use his fists out of fear and necessity long before he mastered any kind of technique. By the time he met his trainer and went on to win the Olympics at 19 years old, he’d already been in dozens, maybe hundreds of fights. And of course, he didn’t win them all.

“I come out. I have supreme confidence, but I’m scared to death,” Tyson said. “I’m afraid. I’m afraid of everything. I’m afraid of losing, I’m afraid of being humiliated. But I’m just totally confident. The closer I get to the ring, the more confident I get. Once I’m in the ring, I’m a god. No-one could beat me.”

Think of these words when you want to approach a girl. It’s not so bad once you’re in the ring.

Knowing what to say to girls ultimately requires knowledge and experience. Use these tools to conquer your fear, and the words will take care of themselves.

In Part 2 of my day-game tour, I covered direct, indirect, and situational openers, body language, and vocal tonality.

The most common complaint I hear from my students is, “I just don’t know what to say to girls.” They’re caught in a paradox. They don’t approach because they don’t know what to say, and they don’t know what to say because they don’t approach.

I always ask this question: “How many pickup books, YouTube videos, blog posts, and online courses have you studied?” Most have at least read something. There are probably hundreds of articles on this exact subject on Girls Chase alone. So, how can anyone still not know what to say?

Because they haven’t racked up enough experience.

Some of my first ever approaches followed marathon study sessions, where I spent all night memorizing pickup routines. I had whole stories involving roller coasters, horses, and cubes, but when I finally mustered the guts to actually approach, I forgot all of it.

When you’re nervous or fearful, your adrenaline spikes. This draws blood away from your brain to your extremities. It puts you into “fight-or-flight” mode. How can you seductively articulate your thoughts when your brain thinks you’re going into battle? You can’t.