Hey everyone.
Today I wanted to discuss a very important form of confidence that is rarely mentioned, yet is a KEY factor in your success with women. We are here talking about sexual confidence.
I will first discuss what it is and how it will affect your success with women, then I will give some suggestions on how you can become sexually confident – i.e., tell you how to get there. So this post will be a mix of theory and practical elements.
A reader commented on my article on backward rationalization about women’s frequent misremembering or twisting of past event details:
“This is a great article. As a rational man, with integrity, I struggle with this all the time. Young women will routinely misremember things that they said and did, in a way that allows them to not accept responsibility. They’ll conjure up conversations, filling in my words, for their benefit. Very often it is to save them from losing face. Other times it is so they can avoid confronting the truth about themselves. To me, this is lying, but if I’m mad about it, it’s some “loss of frame”.
I had a post about this on redpill reddit a few months ago, asking if you should ever question a girl about why she was dishonest, as it seems pointless. The consensus seems that you just tell a woman what she did, and that it wont be tolerated. When she argues, you ignore.”
What our reader here is remarking on is one of the core differences in how men and women perceive the world, and it’s one it’s tremendously important to have a handle on if you want to run your relationships with women well.
The understanding is this: how a woman remembers a past event has less to do with the facts of the event than it has to do with how she feels right now.
This sounds topsy-turvy and wrongheaded from a male perspective, because how on Earth can you expect to create a sane and stable world if the past shifts with the sands of your very emotions?
However, it serves a critical role in how women deal with the world, as well as with those around them.
“You wannafourfour?”
Around a year and a half ago, this Tinder message buzzes my phone as I drive back to school. I’m returning from a trial shift at a club I hope to work at for the upcoming summer.
Despite my good mood, however, I’m confused. What the hell is “fourfour”?
The girl messaging me is a cute blonde sorority girl who I’d set up a few dates with, but she always flaked. Save for a few run-ins on campus, we didn’t see each other much. Then we matched on Tinder, but it’d been days since I sent a message, with no reply. Now, at the tail-end of a Friday night, she’s messaging me to “fourfour”.
“She must be messing with me,” I think to myself.
As far as I can remember, I’ve always thought that the entire world was playing a prank on me. And women flirting with me and chasing me, well, that was just the cruelest of jokes. I feared that the moment I flirted back or asked them out, everyone around me, including the girl, would turn towards me, point their fingers, and laugh as they tease me “Oh you really thought she’d get with YOU?!” This was the insecurity that caged the seducer in me for far too long.
Few things carry as much of that ‘punch in the gut’ feeling as having a girl you’re seeing tell you she’s pregnant.
Unless you’re married and trying for children, hearing she has a bun in the oven is one of those shocks you never fully expect, and even if some part of you might’ve liked the idea of knocking this cute girl up in theory, being face to face with a real pregnancy is different.
And if you’re really unlucky (or, more accurately, really incautious), you now find yourself confronted with a girl who tells you she’s pregnant but is not a girl you’d like to have a child with in this or any universe.
The moral police reading this article will tut-tut and tell you, “Well now see, that’s why you need to be more responsible!”
That’s not the point of this article though.
This article’s about firefighting: what do you do when she hits you with this?
I have gotten a few more or less beginner questions in the comment sections of my sex talk articles. Now just to make it clear, although I think sex talk is the best way to get women into bed (personal opinion), I still consider it an advanced technique.
Now this doesn’t mean it is a bad thing – if you are an advanced to intermediate player you will benefit a lot from reading advanced posts. I have written in the past about the purpose of advanced techniques, so in case you wonder about whether or not it is worth learning advanced techniques, then I would recommend you dig into that post.
Essentially, when it comes to just getting laid, the basics are all you really need. Now some get creeped out by the word “basics” because they usually associate it with rejecting seduction skills and so on. Truth is: I don’t.
Some basics that come to mind:
Taking care of your looks and posture
Knowing how to open
Knowing how to hook her in and display attractive traits
Isolation
Handling logistical issues (her friends)
Handling resistance with some basic techniques (such as persistence – done the right way of course)
University is a black box for many men, and guys can struggle trying to figure out how to rise to the top of the social and sexual ranks. Our host Varoon Raja interviews Girls Chase author Hector Castillo and picks his brain on how men can do just that, and many of the surprises to expect and pitfalls to avoid along the way.
Some of the subjects covered:
Today’s article will focus on three different forms of touch for use in similar situations (mostly as greetings... hello and goodbye):
With each tactic, we’ll look at when these work best, when they can backfire, how exactly to use them, and what their pros and cons are.
So get yourself into a touchy-feely mood and let’s get to it.
Every day I read questions on different forums saying things like “I love this girl so much, what should I do?” This kind of question irritates me. It irritates me because you can’t love something you aren’t committed to. I don’t care what kind of fantasy you have in your head, if you haven’t made a move on her, you don’t love her. Why? Because if you actually strongly desired her you would have made a move; you would have committed yourself to a certain course of action.
Our culture has become obsessed with thinking and not doing. We obsess over the fantasy of doing something great but rarely commit ourselves to doing great things. Invariably, every guy I’ve met who is good with women knows how to commit. I’m not talking about being exclusive, I’m talking about acting on his desires.
Many guys have passion only in the mind, but their lives are listless. This indecisiveness disgusts women. The higher the quality to the woman, the lower her tolerance will be for listlessness. The indecisiveness that plagues this generation comes from the fact that we have so much information at our disposal. Data that supports both sides of every argument. Many men look for proof before they act, and that may work well in science but it is a horrible way of going about bedding beautiful women.
This post will be part practical advice and part philosophical treatise. I will begin with the practical advice and then move to the more theoretical elements on my philosophy of commitment.
“Master Teacher You, who was forty-three years younger than the Master, said, “Being a person who is lovingly obedient toward his parents and who models himself on his elders, and being at the same time someone who is bent on defying his superiors, that’s unlikely. Being a person who is not bent on defying his superiors, but who has a passion for stirring up confusion and disorder, that doesn’t happen, either.”
– The Analects of Confucius, 1:2, translated by David R. Schiller”
We’ve talked on here about crazy girls before, and about narcissistic women and women
with more extreme personality disorders.
Today I want to talk about where the seeds of many of the troublesome behaviors you’ll encounter in some women begin – namely, in the relationships they had with their mothers and fathers during childhood.
It’s not dwelt on too often in the dating advice community, but an individual’s family background and upbringing has tremendous follow-on effects that ripple down through the rest of her life, molding her relationships into something that mirrors the model she learned early on.
And that means that when it comes to predicting how a woman will behave – and especially, what kind of girlfriend she’ll make – you must pay close attention to how she grew up.
Women are constantly putting things you say into categories. They are looking at what you say not only for content but for what you’re trying to get across too.
Most guys are unaware of this layer of communication, which leads to them making clumsy mistakes. But I’m not writing this article to talk about the clumsy mistakes you might be making in conversation, I’m writing this article for you to learn how to look at conversations the same way a woman does.
Adding this layer will make it easier for you to see why women say some of the things they do. It will also help you give a woman exactly what she wants, when she wants it (which is the fastest way to get what you want). At the end of this article, I share a painful story that was the catalyst for me writing this.
