Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Why Talking Less is (Usually) Best

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

I had a tiresome dialogue on a long train ride yesterday where I found myself being sidetracked on irrelevancies in what originally seemed like it’d be an engaging conversation.

Throughout the course of this unfortunately lengthy conversation (it was a 6 hour train ride), this man repeatedly ignored points I’d made, talked over me, and argued with me over the most tangential points to our primary conversation subject.

talk less listen more

The tragedy to me was that the conversation had started off with the possibility of being truly engrossing, only for my seatmate to repeatedly divert us to arguing over semantics like the definition of the word ‘training’ (which didn’t even matter; we could’ve used any other word if we had different definitions for what constitutes training and what doesn’t, but my interlocutor couldn’t let it go).

The funny thing was that repeatedly throughout this conversation, this fellow brought up wanting to trade numbers with me, to meet up with me again and bring me along to some free class he was attending, and other things of that nature; and he kept offering me food he had with him and even bought me a bottled water off the drink cart when it came by and I wasn’t present (and I didn’t have any small bills to pay him back for it). The entire time he kept telling me I could pay him back the next time I saw him, which only made me grate my teeth more.

I felt like a pretty girl being hounded by a really nice but really clueless and annoying guy. I kept hoping someone was going to come along and save me. Because it was a packed train ride, there wasn’t anywhere else I could escape to, either (though in retrospect I suppose I could’ve snuck off to the meal car; didn’t think of it). Eventually I was able to let this conversation die long enough for me to fall into a nap and be free.

It occurred to me that this man probably does this with everyone; he enters into these alienating conversations with people, tries to lecture them, ignores any indication that they may know as much or more about a subject than he does, and gets sidetracked on irrelevancies. And that can happen to anyone who’s reasonably educated and passionate about a subject from time to time; I’m sometimes (on rare occasions) guilty of this myself, too.

Yet, had this fellow known the value of talking less, instead of struggling so mightily to be heard and to be right, he wouldn’t have needed to resort to bribery and manipulation to try to coax me into meeting him.

He could’ve simply given me the chance to talk a little bit, and genuinely engaged with me instead.

7 Bits of Relationship Advice Every Relationship Needs

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

I’ve been exposed to relationships of all lengths, types, and sizes throughout my years on this earth. And through close observation, I’ve noticed that, although people think that their relationship is singularly unique, that is almost never the case. In fact, I may go as far as to say that that’s never the case.

relationship advice

Whenever I see a dysfunctional relationship, I pretty much see the same symptoms that I see and will see in every other dysfunctional relationship. And the same goes for the healthy relationships I see as well. So if you find yourself in a relationship, or even thinking about being in one, then let me give you a few tips about certain features I’ve noticed that every healthy relationship has.

In a nutshell, I believe that most relationships don’t have a strong enough trajectory of improvement. The partners in the relationships simply aren’t invested enough in growing the dynamic to be deeper and richer. They do so to a point, and then kind of let the relationship plateau, until someone inevitably becomes dissatisfied.

And because of this fact, I believe that most people are in relationships that aren’t right for them. This is a particularly troublesome problem in the West, where emotional intelligence is at an all-time low. People simply don’t invest enough time in understanding themselves and how they react and interact with other people, and, in turn, they don’t understand how to delve deep into the perspectives of other people.

So today I want to talk about how people and relationships can move toward having healthier and happier dynamics, because a truly fulfilling relationship can transform the way you live your life. However, most people just don’t know how to go about running that kind of relationship.

So without further ado…

Classroom Body Language Part II: Positioning and More

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

This is the follow up to “Classroom Body Language and Other Casual Situations”.

Women don’t see the world logically; when it comes to body language they explicitly avoid logic and instead just “feel” things out. They generally don’t think “Oh it is okay that that guy chose a corner” or “Well he just wasn’t feeling social today”, they generally take things you do as if it relates to them somehow and end up thinking you don’t like girls or are “usually grumpy” or something.

So if you want to get good at body language in a confined space, like in a classroom, you will need to act as if women will never hear your rationalizations for acting passive.

classroom body language

In the absence of girls reading you logically, you need to pay attention to what you do:

  • Positioning
  • Social momentum and how it is affecting your mood
  • How it might relate to her

Most guys just look for where to sit in a very logical way, but it is here at the start that their body language is set into motion to be bland, as they don’t care about what they are doing around women and lack appreciation for their environment and what their positioning communicates. Try to never just randomly pick a spot or let the crowd push you into a corner. It is okay to feel exposed; it will force you to stop playing around and think about your body language.

Great body language will allow you to sit anywhere openly.

Few people know this, but body language relies on social momentum, so never cut and run from exposure; never shroud your shoulders and turn away from everything. Small social interactions fuel body language, and this fuel is necessary to highlight how you feel about women to the women who look at you.

So You’re a Showoff… How Do You Use It?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

being a showoffIn “Locating Good Low Competition Sexual Markets", a reader writes in asking about the desire to show off:

“Hey, Chase,

I would like to see your article on desire to show off. I have such problem in me that usually I want to be seen as awesome and seek for approval, but it is something that really fucks up with my goals, because I forget my stuff to do and chase approval of peers and girls instead. Such situation where I get flaky girls not responding, or rejections actually bothers me a lot and is extremely painful and I feel so stuck in seeking validation, so I’m insecure and this off putting, I know. Any thoughts?”

The desire to be impressive; it’s one that almost every man has to some degree or another.

Some of us have it on a grand scale, while others only have a tiny drop of it; but if no one cared about being powerful and letting all the world know it, action movies (and tales and stories) where the guy gets to save the day wouldn’t be nearly so popular in our time and times past, and dreams of becoming a star or celebrity would be far less common dreams to dream.

Yet, the desire to be impressive can lead us to some pretty ignominious ends:

  • Crippling approach anxiety because we fear looking the opposite of impressive if we approach her and come off poorly or are rejected

  • Inaction when we should take action, because we don’t want to risk making the wrong move, looking bad, and messing it all up, all of this leading to missed escalation windows and expired attraction

  • A tendency for a great many men to require liquid courage before they’re even ready to start approaching, and a much easier time approaching anonymously in dark, crowded nightclubs (where it’s harder, the competition is fiercer, and the overall quality is lower) than on the street in broad daylight (where it’s easier, the competition is nil, and the overall quality is great)

  • Valuing reactions over results, because buddies or disciples are far more impressed by hopped up antics that get girls clapping and screaming than they are by subdued conversation... even if that latter is more likely to lead to a girl in your bed

Plus all number of other success saboteurs.

How do we deal with being a showoff then – do we suppress it, or can we use it?

Being Yourself: How Important is Congruence?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

Note from Chase: this is a reflection piece by Alek on the redeeming qualities of the “be yourself” advice that I discussed as often harmful and distracting in my piece on it a few years back – primarily, Alek uses the phrase to discuss the importance of congruence.

being yourselfThe most famous dating advice there is “Just be yourself.” Often times, when men ask women for advice, this is the answer they receive. But does this advice have any desirable effects?

Most of us would say no. Good men have tried to be themselves without getting any results. Many of us would say that “just be yourself” is terrible advice, because it doesn’t tell us anything about what women are actually attracted too, nor does it inform us of any specific ways to attract them.

And then you have site like Girls Chase that give you guidance on how to seduce women. Without being arrogant, the huge amount of information on this site (and other similar sites) makes mainstream dating advice look like crap.

But is there any truth in “just being yourself”? In my opinion there is, and that’s what this post will be exploring. Keep reading and you might find some revealing facts. This one’s for all men dedicated to seduction.

How to Hang Out with a Girl (and End Up in Bed Together)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

In many articles on GC, we’ve talked about how important it is to avoid ending up being a girl’s platonic guy pal whom she taps for personal and emotional support, and never lets things proceed any further:

Yet, while it is imperative for newer guys who have not yet become the compelling, demanding, sexual studs of men that women are wont to sleep with to avoid the “friend” role, the more advanced you get, the more easily you can “bend the rules.”

In fact, it’s completely possible for you to learn how to hang out with a girl calmly, casually, and like nothing more than a friend... and still sleep with her.

Believe it or not, there are even advantages to this style... such as simplicity.

how to hang out with a girl

This is the “friend approach” to seduction, and it’s a bit different from what I and the other guys usually talk about on here; however, if you have friends who are naturals with women, you’ve almost certainly seen it before.

You know: that buddy of yours who just has the most laid back “dates” ever – all he ever does is hang out with girls super casually, and then they just somehow always stumble into his bed?

Wouldn’t it be cool if you could consistently do that?

Next Level Seduction Pt. 4: The Power of Childhood Games

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

This post is Part 4 in my series of Next Level Seduction series, a series dedicated to illuminating and breaking down the most advanced concepts, processes, and subtleties involved at the highest level of seduction. It’s about discussing ideas that most men may not necessarily think about and identifying the nuances of living your life as a highly sexual and desirable male. So, if you’re new to the game, you can either ignore this or try not to be intimidated. You can read Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here.

Do you remember that experience when you were younger; the feeling of being an adolescent or teenager and wondering about what girls were thinking?

And then, somehow, you found yourself in a situation where you were in a circle with a bunch of your friends. And there was always small talk about classes or the newest movie everyone wanted to see, but inevitably, one inquisitive child would ask about or propose playing a game.

Maybe it was truth or dare. Maybe it was spin the bottle. Maybe it was seven minutes in heaven. Or maybe, just maybe, it was never have I ever. And then there would be that moment; that moment where a couple people giggled, a couple people looked at each other, a couple people blushed, and one or two brave souls admitted that they wanted to play too.

seduction games

And then the game would begin. And by the end of it, something memorable would always happen. Maybe you got to kiss your crush at the time, aka, the girl of your dreams. Maybe you got to feel a girl’s body for the first time. Or maybe you just saw two of your friends disappear into a closet and were riveted and shocked when they told you the story of what happened during the recap the next day.

But, no matter what happened, that experience (or those experiences) have always remained with you. Maybe you brought it back in high school and something interesting happened. Maybe you experimented with them in college and brought back that playful childhood inquisitiveness.

But the thing is…the feelings from those experiences never really go away. Everyone — man or woman — has that awkward child in them who just wants to flick a glass bottle and have it stop while pointed at the person they have a crush on.

And playing a childhood game can be a great way to set yourself up for a unique sexual experience— at any age. People never get tired of them. But why is that?

Today I’m going to look at those old childhood games that we all know and love, and I’m going to talk about why they’re absolute sexual dynamite.

What Does It Mean to Be a Man?

Drexel Scott's picture

By: Drexel Scott

It is taken for granted, as well it should be, that women respect strong men and detest weak ones. There is no way around it, and no amount of pretty, eloquent fluffiness will detract from the impact it already has on your life.

You see it everywhere: women throwing themselves at men with spines while trampling on those without and laughing in their faces.

Today’s article is not a discussion of strength in the physical sense – you can find articles on how to get in great shape elsewhere on this website. Instead, this is about a topic that I don’t often see discussed: being a man of conviction.

Some good Hollywood examples of men with conviction are James Bond and Han Solo; classic archetypal males who get the job done and get laid doing it.

be a man

7 Powerful Sexual Lines That Turn Girls On Fast

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

Since my recent posts have been covering basic yet important elements of seduction, today I decided to share a really powerful, advanced technique. So this post is primarily for advanced seducers.

The technique I will talk about – that of sexual lines – will allow you to get women chasing you in clubs and bars in no time. Another aspect of it is that women will chase you sexually, allowing you to escalate to really dirty sex. This technique is advanced and requires you to have your basics in check and be able to comfortably get sexual with women.

sexual lines

But what if you are a beginner?

Well, I will also share a simplified version of the actual technique that should give somewhat similar results but that’s less risky and easier to pull off. The price you pay however is that the simplified version will have less of an impact.

Quit Trying to Win Over Your Girlfriend

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

win over your girlfriendI covered one side of the "your responsibilities in your relationship" spectrum in "A Failed Relationship is a Failure of Leadership."

Now let’s talk about the other side.

I see a lot of men busting their behinds to keep their girlfriends happy, entranced, and entertained, to the point where they seem to be treating their relationships like a full time job – in addition to whatever else they do during the day when they’re not with their girlfriends.

These men are all too aware that keeping their woman happy and their relationship strong is their responsibility, yet they go about doing it in taxing and inefficient ways.

In fact, some of the men who pour gargantuan amounts of energy into keeping their women happy still fail the leadership test, because leading your relationship is not about immersing your partner in non-stop stimulation to keep her distracted, sated, and engaged.

And if you are doing this, you are doing it wrong – not to mention needlessly expending barrels of energy you could be using for something more productive than trying to win over a girlfriend again and again who probably would respect you more if you didn’t.