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Female Psychology

Female Attachment Profiles: Secure, Avoidant, and More

Chase Amante's picture
female attachment styles
A woman's attachment style determines whether she is clingy, or distant, or prone to upset at the most trivial thing. Know her style, and you know what to expect.

Early in life, the way someone's parents raise her shapes the way her brain deals with her relationships with other people.

If her parents are loving and supportive, and around enough, and not abusive or neglectful, she'll form a secure attachment style.

Secure attachment is the healthiest form of attachment: it's the ability to form real bonds with other people, free from either neediness or (on the other hand) an urge to 'get away'.

However, not all parents are loving and supportive, or present enough; some are neglectful, or even abusive. Some parents have attachment disorders themselves and simply aren't good at parenting. And when a child grows up with parents like this, she learns different lessons about close relationships, and her brain wires itself to respond differently to closeness.

Depending on her upbringing, she may learn to cling to others for dear life. She may flee closeness, and try to keep space in her relationships. She may have chaotic emotions toward closeness and vacillate between wanting it and pushing it away.

Once you know attachment styles, you can better grasp the women you bring into your life... and better grasp yourself.

How Self-Esteem Issues Make Women Back Out of Sex

Varoon Rajah's picture

self-esteem and sex
Women get self-conscious about their bodies and pussies, which is why you need to make her feel comfortable, or her insecurities can force her out of the situation.

We are in Part 3 of our exploration of sex and female self-esteem.

In Part 1, I described two examples of the seduction falling apart in the last moments of courtship – right as sex was about to happen and the girl was excited and expecting it.

In Part 2, we discussed different ways that self-esteem issues can pop up before a guy invites a girl home.

Now in Part 3, we’ll look closely at what happens in the bedroom – the most vulnerable moment for a woman’s self-esteem.

A guy should be aware of a girl’s self-esteem throughout any scenario with her – especially in the bedroom. In a dating situation, the self-esteem issue is more convoluted because it’s easy to misunderstand the difference between your game versus the girl’s self-esteem, and it's hard to know when and how to make moves.

Sometimes your best intentions to influence a girl’s self-esteem positively can backfire and send the opposite message, making her self-esteem drop in response.

How Moving Too Slow Can Make a Girl Auto-Reject

Varoon Rajah's picture

moving too slow auto-rejection
I had such a great date, but now she won’t meet up again! WTF? Sometimes if you move too slowly, it’ll negatively affect her self-esteem and cause her to auto-reject.

Welcome back to our study on women, sex, and self-esteem! In Part 1, I gave two examples of encounters with girls I liked, and who liked me back. We both wanted sex to happen, but both dates fell apart because the girl’s self-esteem dropped because of something I did – or didn't do.

A girl’s feeling of self-esteem with a guy has a huge effect on how the encounter transpires. Self-esteem drops can kill courtships long before they’ve “rightfully” concluded. The metric most influenced by self-esteem is your attainability with a girl.

To start off, let’s recap this excellent story from Tomas in one of my articles. It’s a great example of self-esteem on the date.

“I met a woman. She was not very attractive but still decent looking and nice. I had only one hour of time for her. We were walking in the park, sitting, talking, etc. She felt embarrassed to look into my eyes but the talk was good.

Actually, I wasn’t turned on, but I still liked her. I took her hand and kissed her. She reciprocated passionately and almost threw herself into my arms. We talked and kissed more. Then, the hour was over. She extended an offer to visit her at her place next time and explained to me where she lived.

She texted me first, some two hours after the date, very kindly.

The next morning, she apologized in a text that she hadn’t felt the right spark with me and preferred not to meet again.

Varoon – I am an advanced seducer, and stories like this do happen. What’s the common reason for this incongruent behavior? Was there really no spark for her? Or there was, but perhaps she felt she made herself too easy for me? Or was she afraid I‘d leave her after sex? What do you think?”

Tomas’ story is one of the classic cases that I often see here – a girl who’s very interested in a guy at the meet and when going on a date but then automatically ejects herself.

Can you guess the fault? It’s simple, really – Tomas moved too slow, which caused the girl to eject because she didn’t feel she was good enough for him. As in my story of Violet from Part 1, the moment I stopped matching her attraction for me and speed for courtship, it fell apart because it left her feeling that I was unattainable and didn’t want her enough.

Every single girl wants to experience good feelings and avoid bad feelings. Unless she’s a girl who enjoys pain (which is usually a result of her history with emotional or mental abuse), no girl wants to feel bad or raw about dating a guy. That can take many different forms, as we’ll see. It’s possible to hurt her self-esteem by being unattractive, needy, and insecure, as much as it is to be too good for her and to move too slowly toward a passionate embrace.

10 Most Common Reasons Guys Can't Get Laid

Tony Depp's picture

can't get laid
The reasons a guy can’t get laid may be simple, but more often it’s not so intuitive. Here are the usual suspects, some of which you may have never considered.

“Why Can’t I Get Laid?”

After many years of teaching pickup, I can narrow down the reasons why so many guys can’t get laid.

This article may help you self-diagnose some of your inner and outer game issues if you’re stuck in a vicious cycle of no sex. These tips will help you break free and score some lovin’ again – or for the first time.

So here are the top 10 factors I see in guys who just can’t get laid.

How to Use Listing to Set Good Frames with Girls

Daniel Adebayo's picture

frame control technique: listing
Frame control is a master weapon in seduction. And “listing” is a great way to set frames with a girl by making you stand out as someone she’d love to have sex with.

We’ve been talking a lot about frame control lately, and I’d like to chime in with a specific technique I’ve found quite handy for setting frames. Namely, LISTING.

As a seducer, there are many frame control techniques and tactics at your disposal to aid you when it comes to getting girls. You can use these techniques to direct the flow of your conversations.

Some are persuasion tactics and specific techniques to set and solidify certain frames in your seductions. Sexual frames can benefit you by giving your interactions with women an exuberant air of sexuality that can ramp up her lust for you.

There are even ways you can use frame control to talk your way into higher levels of compliance with the girls you meet. These enable you to move fast, isolate her quickly, or even take her home just minutes after approaching. In fact, there are dozens of frame control techniques you can learn to help you with each and every one of these things.

And while it’s generally recommended that a seducer on the path toward mastery should expand his toolbox as much as possible, he should also learn as many of these techniques as he can to develop a varied arsenal and complete skill set. This is especially true for seducers who subscribe to the controller class. But unless that seducer is already at the advanced level in his journey, then this is a task that could be rather overwhelming.

Like I mentioned earlier, there are many, many frame control techniques out there, and after I took the time to learn and internalize a good chunk of them, I noticed that a number of these techniques are unfortunately quite complicated.

Faced with the task of learning all of these cutting-edge yet highly complicated techniques, it would be very easy for many students of the game to fall into information overload. It’s not difficult to end up confused and overwhelmed with the sheer number and complexity of these tactics.

But what if there was such a thing as a multipurpose frame control technique?

What if there were some extremely versatile techniques you could master that would enable you to enjoy several benefits that come with great frame control? So instead of having to learn dozens of different techniques, you could just learn a handful. After all, it’s easier to master one well-rounded method and make it a part of you first than to struggle while trying to learn nine or ten specific ones. Plus, once you’ve mastered one of these techniques and reached the point where you can use it naturally with unconscious competence – you can always come back and learn another.

The good news is these techniques do exist. And some of them are easy to learn and use.

In this article, we’re going to discuss one of these multipurpose frame control techniques. Listing is a technique I regularly use in the field because of its potency. By using listing, I was able to bed a number of pretty girls last year.

In this article, I’ll explain what listing is and how to use it. Then I’ll give some examples of how you can use this technique to accomplish a variety of important actions when it comes to getting girls. Listing can help you get better frame control and enjoy more success as a seducer.

9 Things Women Want from the Men Around Them

Hector Castillo's picture

What Women Like in Men
What do women want in men? The “what” is relatively simple; but in a romantic context, it’s also about what you should and shouldn’t give them as a man.

What do women want? More specifically, what do women want from men?

Most of the time when these questions are asked, you get some derivative of “Who the hell knows?” and everyone laughs.

But we’ve figured it out and have it all cataloged here at Girls Chase. We have a pretty darn good idea of what women want from a romantic partner.

We know what women want in the short-term and the long-term.

And we teach you how to become a man who can supply it all.

I’ll go over what women want in this article, but just because a woman wants something doesn’t mean you should give it to her. That shouldn’t sound too revolutionary. If you were to give everyone what they want all the time, your resources and time would drain in an instant.

You should only give women what they want so long as it aligns with your personal values and if it helps you achieve your goals.This might sound like a business framework applied to romance, and it very much is.

But while one should be kind and generous, there are limits to how much you should give if you are romantically interested in a woman. And that’s the departure-point premise of this article.

So, with that said, I'll tackle the subject from the perspective of what women want in a romantic partner, long or short term. I'll also discuss what you should and shouldn't give her, and under what circumstances.

Women Are Attracted to Men Who Show Sexual Desire

Varoon Rajah's picture

women are attracted to sexual desire
It’s a misconception that women are not attracted to aggressive men. The truth: women go nuts for aggressive men who show their sexual desire in the right way.

Have you ever noticed how well some guys do with women? If you’re a nice guy, you might see these dudes and wonder what makes them so special, and why women like them so much. Maybe you’ve seen them at nightclubs with a stunner in heels, or maybe you’ve seen your natural friend pull girls over and over again.

The chances are that – even though I’m not talking about one specific man – you can still picture the kind of dominant, masculine, and ultimately aggressive guy that I’m talking about.

A key reason these guys get women is because they show their desire. At a very basic level, any guy who wants a girl must show his desire towards her. A girl may throw indicators of interest and other signals towards a guy, but if he doesn’t show his desire, girls often move on.

There’s another key facet here that separates the average guy from the guy who actually succeeds often. Naturals, players, and men who know how the game works understand that it is actually their aggressiveness that distinguishes them from most men. That aggressiveness – their willingness to take risks with women and go after what they want – draws women into their world.

Aggressive guys get girls more often. If you’re gaming and you want women, you must show the women around you aggressive desire, and go after them aggressively.

Why Cuffing Season Is So Awesome for Single Guys (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

Cuffing season.

’Tis upon us!

How does one take full advantage of this season when horny, love-hungry women are frolicking around looking for something... someone?

You get your fishing rod out, drop a line into the cold water, and start jiggin'. The fish WILL bite.

Whether you’re looking for a fish to last you a long time (a relationship), or maybe you just want to net some quickie fishies during the spawn, you’re in luck.

I'll teach you how to get both sex and relationships during this festive time.

Women Are Emotional (But Not Irrational) – The Method Behind the Madness

Hector Castillo's picture

Women Are Emotional But Not Irrational
Think women are crazy? If so, it’s probably because you’ve dated one. Fact is, beneath their seemingly emotional disarray, you’ll find a high level of rationality.

Men like to complain about how emotional and irrational women are. We even hear many of those claims in the seduction community and its neighboring communities – e.g., the Manosphere, the Red Pill community, etc.

“Women are feelz before realz.”

“Chick logic.”

Some of these guys even brand women children who are incapable of making adult decisions based on logic and reason. Here at Girls Chase, we know better.

Women are emotional, but not irrational. In fact, they are far more rational than you can imagine – when it comes to what’s important.

Put another way, women are guided by their emotions, but that doesn’t lead them to make as many stupid decisions as you might think. That’s the real accusation behind men calling women “irrational,” isn’t it? That they are less capable of making sound decisions?

Let’s be clear – there is some truth to the claim that women are less rational than men. Men are the leaders of our species, better equipped to make hard decisions like where to eat dinner or how to defeat an army. But when it comes to sexual selection, women are vastly more competent than men. That’s why 80% of women in history have reproduced, whereas for men, that figure is below 40%.

The emotion-based behavior of women leads them to be vastly more successful at sexual selection than men, which makes them highly rational, since sexual selection is one of the most important decisions – perhaps the most important – that any human can make.

Thus, I would argue that women are not irrational. They’re simply designed for different purposes than men and perform their purpose well because of their emotional nature.

Attraction Paradox: Why She Rejects You Even Though She Wants You

Alek Rolstad's picture

why she rejects you when she's attracted
Attraction isn’t the end-all in getting women into bed. In fact, too much of it can complicate things. Here’s why focusing more on compliance is the way to go.

Hey, guys. Not too long ago, I wrote a theoretical piece stating my definitions of attraction and compliance and how I distinguish between them. The goal of that post was to clarify:

  • The confusing paradox of “attraction is there naturally” – i.e., that attraction is not something you create, but either is or isn't there – and the idea of “building attraction”

  • The difference between them – attraction being an emotional drive that causes a person to feel emotions towards another versus creating a state of mind that makes another person comply with your demands

  • How this all plays out in the field

Today, I want to discuss this even further. I believe that compliance is a more powerful tool than attraction, and therefore something you should strive for. The reason behind this is that attraction, once you reach a certain level, becomes a double-edged sword that can work against you.

The assumption is that attraction leads to compliance. This is true in many cases – if a girl likes you, she will be very likely to follow your lead and comply with your demands. However, as we will discuss here, attraction can sometimes make a girl less compliant. We will explore why that is.