Pickup

When you’re already pretty good with girls, you can start bending rules and not just get away with it – you can actually make things go better.

Today’s article is going to be about how you can amplify the impact of your compliance requests and demands by subtracting some of the supporting elements (justifications) that make them easier for women to agree to.

In effect, you can get more investment, faster, by making women make harder choices to invest.

Who’s this suited for? Only men who are already talented at getting women to invest in them heavily all the way up to and including the bedroom. Use it in situations where you haven’t developed your skill set as fully yet and you’ll be shooting yourself in the foot.

So, if you’re newer or intermediate, this is probably one you’ll want to largely steer clear of except perhaps in micro-cases where you’re already quite good at getting certain levels of compliance, or dealing with a girl who’s ridiculously into you. We’ll clarify this below so it’s less abstract and more clear cut.

But if you’re already pretty advanced, and you want to take women from “I think I like this guy” to “I am sold on this guy”, adding in some barebones higher stakes compliance requests to your interactions can be a fun and effective way to do this.

In “Why Talking Less is (Usually) Best”, Anonymous asks:

“Hey Chase, I’ve noticed something with me.

Well, I read most of your articles, understand your advices ( which are great) but I just can’t apply them. Let me explain :

I read an article for instance, I think “ Oh, really cool advice, I SHOULD try it out!!!!! I get like excited about it, eventually try it out but don’t stick to it as a habit so it becomes natural.

So I’m going to ask you something no probably ever did :

How to stick to all the advices available on this site so it can be... natural and it does not feel like acting anymore.

How to use your articles in the best way they can be used?? And how to put them in great practice?

I heard that a habit takes about 30 days to be implemented in someone.

Can it apply for seduction techniques?”

This is a common problem, and it is actually something guys ask fairly often: how do I get started applying all this stuff?

How do you actually get out there meeting girls, chatting them up, and picking them up?

There are various answers on this site, from articles on overcoming approach anxiety to those on forming new habits to those on getting motivated (and out of the house). There is the diagnostic quiz and its four eBooks tailored to your skill level, and there are programs like my tome on the subject or the Mastery package.

However, lately I’ve been catching myself falling into the trap of anyone who’s done something for a long time and telling guys things like, “Dude, just go DO it,” which isn’t much help to someone new.

So, in light of that, what this article is is a nuanced, step-by-step guide to how to get started at picking up girls – how you apply the lessons from Girls Chase, not just on things like nonverbal fundamentals (which you can practice in front of your bathroom mirror), but on things like social skills / approaching / game, which require much more oomph to do.

Note from Chase: this was a “lost article” of Alek’s that was originally supposed to be the a piece in his series on bitchy girls and hit and run game. It slipped through the cracks and never got published. In it, there is a reference to his upcoming article; this article’s in fact already out, and it’ll be linked to where referenced. But that’s the backstory – here’s Alek...

We may keep writing articles covering fancy seduction techniques, but what is the point if people don’t go out there and try them out?

Fact is, most people stay at home and don’t talk much to women, not because they are lazy, but because they suffer from approach anxiety. Now, many of you might consider this to be a post for beginners, but, as a matter of fact, many more experienced seducers have trouble approaching too.

I will here share a confession and some insights on approach anxiety while criticizing the classic way of doing things (i.e., approach a lot until you get used to it). At the end of this post, I will share with you a different perspective on approaching women.

Again, this is not primarily a post for beginners. Many of us struggle with approaching – the approaching phase is not really pleasurable for most of us. That’s why this post is relevant to men of all levels.

I had a tiresome dialogue on a long train ride yesterday where I found myself being sidetracked on irrelevancies in what originally seemed like it’d be an engaging conversation.

Throughout the course of this unfortunately lengthy conversation (it was a 6 hour train ride), this man repeatedly ignored points I’d made, talked over me, and argued with me over the most tangential points to our primary conversation subject.

The tragedy to me was that the conversation had started off with the possibility of being truly engrossing, only for my seatmate to repeatedly divert us to arguing over semantics like the definition of the word ‘training’ (which didn’t even matter; we could’ve used any other word if we had different definitions for what constitutes training and what doesn’t, but my interlocutor couldn’t let it go).

The funny thing was that repeatedly throughout this conversation, this fellow brought up wanting to trade numbers with me, to meet up with me again and bring me along to some free class he was attending, and other things of that nature; and he kept offering me food he had with him and even bought me a bottled water off the drink cart when it came by and I wasn’t present (and I didn’t have any small bills to pay him back for it). The entire time he kept telling me I could pay him back the next time I saw him, which only made me grate my teeth more.

I felt like a pretty girl being hounded by a really nice but really clueless and annoying guy. I kept hoping someone was going to come along and save me. Because it was a packed train ride, there wasn’t anywhere else I could escape to, either (though in retrospect I suppose I could’ve snuck off to the meal car; didn’t think of it). Eventually I was able to let this conversation die long enough for me to fall into a nap and be free.

It occurred to me that this man probably does this with everyone; he enters into these alienating conversations with people, tries to lecture them, ignores any indication that they may know as much or more about a subject than he does, and gets sidetracked on irrelevancies. And that can happen to anyone who’s reasonably educated and passionate about a subject from time to time; I’m sometimes (on rare occasions) guilty of this myself, too.

Yet, had this fellow known the value of talking less, instead of struggling so mightily to be heard and to be right, he wouldn’t have needed to resort to bribery and manipulation to try to coax me into meeting him.

He could’ve simply given me the chance to talk a little bit, and genuinely engaged with me instead.

This is the follow up to “Classroom Body Language and Other Casual Situations”.

Women don’t see the world logically; when it comes to body language they explicitly avoid logic and instead just “feel” things out. They generally don’t think “Oh it is okay that that guy chose a corner” or “Well he just wasn’t feeling social today”, they generally take things you do as if it relates to them somehow and end up thinking you don’t like girls or are “usually grumpy” or something.

So if you want to get good at body language in a confined space, like in a classroom, you will need to act as if women will never hear your rationalizations for acting passive.

In the absence of girls reading you logically, you need to pay attention to what you do:

• Positioning
• Social momentum and how it is affecting your mood
• How it might relate to her

Most guys just look for where to sit in a very logical way, but it is here at the start that their body language is set into motion to be bland, as they don’t care about what they are doing around women and lack appreciation for their environment and what their positioning communicates. Try to never just randomly pick a spot or let the crowd push you into a corner. It is okay to feel exposed; it will force you to stop playing around and think about your body language.

Great body language will allow you to sit anywhere openly.

Few people know this, but body language relies on social momentum, so never cut and run from exposure; never shroud your shoulders and turn away from everything. Small social interactions fuel body language, and this fuel is necessary to highlight how you feel about women to the women who look at you.

In “Locating Good Low Competition Sexual Markets", a reader writes in asking about the desire to show off:

“Hey, Chase,

I would like to see your article on desire to show off. I have such problem in me that usually I want to be seen as awesome and seek for approval, but it is something that really fucks up with my goals, because I forget my stuff to do and chase approval of peers and girls instead. Such situation where I get flaky girls not responding, or rejections actually bothers me a lot and is extremely painful and I feel so stuck in seeking validation, so I’m insecure and this off putting, I know. Any thoughts?”

The desire to be impressive; it’s one that almost every man has to some degree or another.

Some of us have it on a grand scale, while others only have a tiny drop of it; but if no one cared about being powerful and letting all the world know it, action movies (and tales and stories) where the guy gets to save the day wouldn’t be nearly so popular in our time and times past, and dreams of becoming a star or celebrity would be far less common dreams to dream.

Yet, the desire to be impressive can lead us to some pretty ignominious ends:

• Crippling approach anxiety because we fear looking the opposite of impressive if we approach her and come off poorly or are rejected

• Inaction when we should take action, because we don’t want to risk making the wrong move, looking bad, and messing it all up, all of this leading to missed escalation windows and expired attraction

• A tendency for a great many men to require liquid courage before they’re even ready to start approaching, and a much easier time approaching anonymously in dark, crowded nightclubs (where it’s harder, the competition is fiercer, and the overall quality is lower) than on the street in broad daylight (where it’s easier, the competition is nil, and the overall quality is great)

• Valuing reactions over results, because buddies or disciples are far more impressed by hopped up antics that get girls clapping and screaming than they are by subdued conversation... even if that latter is more likely to lead to a girl in your bed
  

Plus all number of other success saboteurs.

How do we deal with being a showoff then – do we suppress it, or can we use it?

This post is Part 4 in my series of Next Level Seduction series, a series dedicated to illuminating and breaking down the most advanced concepts, processes, and subtleties involved at the highest level of seduction. It’s about discussing ideas that most men may not necessarily think about and identifying the nuances of living your life as a highly sexual and desirable male. So, if you’re new to the game, you can either ignore this or try not to be intimidated. You can read Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here.

Do you remember that experience when you were younger; the feeling of being an adolescent or teenager and wondering about what girls were thinking?

And then, somehow, you found yourself in a situation where you were in a circle with a bunch of your friends. And there was always small talk about classes or the newest movie everyone wanted to see, but inevitably, one inquisitive child would ask about or propose playing a game.

Maybe it was truth or dare. Maybe it was spin the bottle. Maybe it was seven minutes in heaven. Or maybe, just maybe, it was never have I ever. And then there would be that moment; that moment where a couple people giggled, a couple people looked at each other, a couple people blushed, and one or two brave souls admitted that they wanted to play too.

And then the game would begin. And by the end of it, something memorable would always happen. Maybe you got to kiss your crush at the time, aka, the girl of your dreams. Maybe you got to feel a girl’s body for the first time. Or maybe you just saw two of your friends disappear into a closet and were riveted and shocked when they told you the story of what happened during the recap the next day.

But, no matter what happened, that experience (or those experiences) have always remained with you. Maybe you brought it back in high school and something interesting happened. Maybe you experimented with them in college and brought back that playful childhood inquisitiveness.

But the thing is…the feelings from those experiences never really go away. Everyone — man or woman — has that awkward child in them who just wants to flick a glass bottle and have it stop while pointed at the person they have a crush on.

And playing a childhood game can be a great way to set yourself up for a unique sexual experience— at any age. People never get tired of them. But why is that?

Today I’m going to look at those old childhood games that we all know and love, and I’m going to talk about why they’re absolute sexual dynamite.