Opening | Page 2 | Girls Chase

Opening

Your initial approach: how you first start talking to that girl you really like.

Opening Girls Training Exercises

Chase Amante's picture
opening girls exercisesIs your opening in a rut (or you aren’t opening many girls at all right now)? Try one of these exercises to get yourself opening again, and “freshen up” your approaching.

Every guy could be a little better at opening girls.

Further, anytime you've stumbled across a new opener, you've probably gone on a bit of tear, haven't you?

Pre-Opening Cheatsheet: Use These Before You Approach Her

Alek Rolstad's picture
pre-opening cheat sheetDo a few things right before you approach a new girl, and you raise the odds your approach succeeds. Spot invitations, create invitations, screen, build micro-momentum, and more.

Hey guys and welcome back!

Last week I gave you my step-by-step guide on how to get back in shape, game-wise, and you learned how to get out of bad momentum.

This post links to last week’s topic. We will provide a checklist of tips and tricks to improve your opening game, focusing on pre-opening. Next week, we will cover opening.

Why does this subject link to last week’s post? The part of your game that takes the “biggest hit” when facing low momentum is your opening and hook game. (I am considering making a checklist of tips and tricks for good hook game as well). Opening hook game is the most vibe-dependent. The energy you communicate is paramount during the opening and hook.

Once you’ve passed the hook phase, it’s more about what you say and how you respond to her hoops and overall strategic calls. You’ll feel more comfortable interacting with the girl when you move past the opening and hook phase. So, despite your lower momentum, you will feel a better overall flow in the interaction.

This is not to say that you won’t feel rusty in other parts of your game. Your weaker awareness may impair your strategic choices because you have less playing room. It’s due to lower compliance from girls because of your low momentum (which affects your presence and vibe).

Now, you may be on high momentum and rocking it and just want to recap or improve your pre-opening skills. Then this post is for you.

Good pre-opening is crucial. It has direct and impactful spill-over effects on your opening game. We can’t discuss tight opening game without discussing pre-opening — you can skip it, but moving forward will be harder, on a psychological and practical level.

Maybe you are a beginner or an intermediate guy who happens to have opening as one of your sticking points. This post is also for you.

Most advice here is primarily for night game settings and bars. However, you can apply some concepts to day game with a few tweaks.

Let’s jump right in!

What Do You Want with Girls? Let's Map that Out

Chase Amante's picture
dating success mapWithout a map you’ll almost never reach an unfamiliar destination. If you want to succeed with women, you need a little navigation to get there.

What's your aim with women? Have you thought about it?

When you go out to talk to girls, are you just going out randomly or is there a purpose?

Do you go out to try some techniques, and maybe they work or maybe they don't, then you go out another day and try again?

Men who are successful improving rapidly with women walk a fine line between having clear intentions while remaining outcome independent. Most guys err too far on one side of the other of this.

You get guys who have clear intentions... but they get really attached to outcomes. Every outing is an emotional roller coaster ride as they deal with things going or not going their way (often for reasons outside their control).

Then you get guys who are outcome independent... but who have fuzzy intentions. They go out, talk to girls, don't take it personal when it doesn't go their way, but sort of hang about listlessly experimenting with this or that in an undirected way.

Mapping out your desired end goals with women and thinking it through clearly can be a big help to actually getting where you want to get go with girls.

Of course, you must build your map in the most useful way.

Social Skills 101: Approaching Unfamiliar People

Chase Amante's picture
approach unfamiliar peopleApproaching strangers demands a variety of social skills many people never fully develop. You need a reason to approach, to make sure you’re seen, and to be friendly, to start.

This is Part 2 of my reboot of our old 'Social Skills 101' series.

You can see Part 1, with a video breakdown of various socially unsavvy approaches, here.

In Part 2, we're going to talk about approaching strangers.

If all you want is solid social skills, stranger approach isn't completely necessary (though it is helpful). There are plenty of highly socially skilled people who aren't able to approach strangers.

However, I think it's good to begin with, since a.) a big part of this site is devoted to cold approach, and b.) in the event you're starting off at zero socially, as I did, to even talk to people at all you'll need to start approaching strangers.

So let's dive into approaching and opening people you don't know -- a painfully awkward, uncalibrated social situation for most (even many otherwise veteran socializers who yet never learned to approach strangers).

Social Skills 101: Basic Social Skills Are 100% Crucial

Chase Amante's picture
basic social skillsIt doesn’t matter how slick you look or how many great tips you’ve absorbed. Good basic social skills must come first if you wish for social success.

This is the first installment in a reboot of our old series on social skills.

Social skills are the single most crucial skill set for anyone to learn to work with other people.

We'll use dating as our vehicle to discuss these skills. Nevertheless, as you learn social skills in dating, you'll apply them to every area of your life too.

Social skills aren't deliberately taught. You don't learn them in school, except incidentally. Most people only intuitively understand social rules, and only once they've learned them.

People shun and shame those with insufficient social skills and grace.

However, you can develop these skills at any age; it just takes focus and practice.

In this series kick-off article, I'm going to show you just why social skills are so absolutely crucial.

Tactics Tuesdays: Talking/Singing to Yourself

Chase Amante's picture
talking/singing to yourselfWomen notice men singing/talking to themselves. You can use this as an effective ‘attention grab’ (i.e., way to get women signaling you) to make approaching a little easier.

Quick tactical tip today.

Sometimes I like to sing or talk quietly to myself as I walk down the sidewalk.

Or as I'm sitting somewhere in a café or bar or park or wherever else I might be.

Easily Approach Girls... by 'Happening to Be Near Them'

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

easily approach girlsEver have a girl just pop up next to you? Well you can do the same thing to girls too. Women will present 3 opportunities to do it… and you can easily pop up in 4 simple steps.

Girls use this one all the time.

Well guess what? So can you.

What's the most magical way to meet someone? It's when two people bump into each other as if by magic.

Actually that's the second most magical. The most magical is when two people are checking each other out, anticipating meeting each other, then both drift toward each other and meet. But you won't always have that drawn-out 'both checking each other out' situation.

As far back as junior high I noticed how often women who liked me magically appeared around me.

I was too shy to approach (much) then, so I started doing the next best thing:

I'd magically appear around women I liked too.

As you would expect, it led to us 'just happening' to end up in conversations sometimes.

And sometimes these girls would ask me out.

Eventually I got into approaching women a lot more directly. But I've still always had a place in my heart for happening to find myself near women I want to meet.

It makes life easier.

How to Make Day Game Practical for Your Life

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

day game in daily lifeMany guys wish they could easily meet women as they go about their days without hesitation or fear. Well, you can, with the right strategy – however, it takes some short-term sacrifice.

The Holy Grail of game for a great many men is the ability to be 'always on'.

If you can reach that point, the thinking goes, then you can just meet women anytime, anyplace. You'll never freeze from approach anxiety or not know what to say.

The reality of course is that, excepting when you're on a 'run' with girls, you are pretty much always going to deal with at least a little approach anxiety.

However, it is absolutely possible to become a more social man, and integrate this into your day-to-day life... then mix in daytime approaches to women as a part of that.

If you can do it, you can turn yourself into that man who really truly does meet girls as he just goes about his day.

When Girls Smile at You, Approach Them

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girls smile at youWhen you lock eyes with a girl and she smiles, it’s one of the clearest invitations you’ll get to approach. If you’re in the market for a woman or two, go meet her.

Ever look at a girl and have her smile at you?

It's one of the oldest approach invitations in the book, and also one of the clearest.

Whether she smiles at you first or you smile at her, then she smiles, if she holds eye contact with you while smiling at you, you've got a ringer.

I've used this approach invitation to identify girls it'll be real easy to meet for years.

I've even had girls I held eye contact with and shared smiles with do the opening themselves. There's something about that mutual locked eyes, shared smiling signal that emboldens even women to make an approach.

I've used this to prompt a fair few girls to approach me themselves in social venues. I would've approached them myself later had they not made a move, but sometimes once she's had that smile and locked eye contact from you she's going to dive right in.

One of the few times I've been street-stopped it was by a really good-looking 20-something girl in a tan business suit on my way to the subway midday on a weekday after we locked eyes and shared smiles. She was so forward it took me aback; I doubt she'd have had the confidence without that prolonged smile and eye lock.

A lot of guys overthink this invitation.

"She's just being friendly," they think.

"Maybe she's just having a good day."

"She could be smiling at someone else."

Yet the vast majority of the time a woman is holding eye contact with you and smiling at you somewhere, it is not because she's just having that splendid of a day, but instead that she likes you and would like to meet.

When a Girl You’re After Embarrasses You

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl embarrasses youAt times you’ll meet women who get one over on you. They extract a free drink or meal, ditch you for another guy, use you for an ego boost, or more. How should you respond?

On our forum, there's a field report a member of ours shared where a beautiful girl he met in a nightclub tricked him into buying a drink, then strung him along after that.

The drink-buy then triggered the predictable possession/reciprocation instinct any guy who's been manipulated into buying things for women has experienced. That in turn led our forum member, who's usually a pretty solid guy, to make a bunch more mistakes and dig a much deeper hole than he normally would.

He was honest about how things went:

  • He felt tricked
  • He felt angry
  • He wanted to 'win'

... and all those emotions caused him to continue to pursue this girl, digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole.

I went through many such situations early on in my seduction career.

Most guys will -- especially guys who do night game, and especially guys who do clubs.

When it happens, you will typically know you are doing something wrong -- as Beam did here -- but you will do it anyway, driven by emotions of wanting to get back your pride, balance things out with this woman who tooled you, and save face.

But this is almost never the right course of action: it won't get you the girl, and it won't improve your outing.

Instead, you must deal with embarrassing/humiliating situations with women in-field in a different way.