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Female Mind

A look into the way women see love, life, lust, and relationships.

Calibration Series Pt. 3: Calibrate Your Timing

Alek Rolstad's picture

pickup timing
Timing is a crucial element of successful pickups. If your timing is off, you’ll often completely blow it with girls. But get timing right, and that girl you want is yours…

Hey, guys! Welcome back to my series on calibration.

If you haven’t caught Part 1 and Part 2, definitely check them out.

Why this series on calibration? Because calibration is so damn key to your success with women. That’s why. It’s one of the most important aspects that set apart intermediate and advanced players. Better calibration gets you more girls (and hotter girls) more consistently. That’s reason enough.

Anyway, today we will discuss timing, a subfield of calibration that is rarely discussed on seduction blogs and forums, yet every time guys (usually intermediate or advanced seducers) discuss their nights out, they always seem to bring up timing (“My timing was off!”) as the most common reason for failure. And “My timing was on point!” is usually among the most common reasons for success.

Again, just like any other subject related to calibration, field experience (successes and failures) is what makes one a master. But you know this already. This post will just speed up your progress to mastery.

The 3 Types of Attainability Problems That Lose You Girls (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

When it comes to dating and seduction, most guys understand value. Be as valuable as you can. Become smooth, cool, learn game, get cool clothes, a nice haircut, and get in shape. But what most guys miss is that attainability loses you a lot more girls than you think.

In this video, I go over the three types of attainability problems that lose you girls, how to recognize them, and how to fix them.

11 Mistakes that Ruin First Dates (and How NOT to Make Them)

Chase Amante's picture

first date mistakesI’ve been on innumerable first dates over the years. And I’ve coached all sorts of students through limitless more dates. And if there’s one thing you find out, it’s that the first date is absolutely, inescapably crucial to how things play out the rest of the courtship.

The first date is a make-or-break event. Hit a homer on the date, and the rest is pretty magical.

A great first date makes your date partner comply more with you (she does what you ask of her). It causes her to cut you more slack (i.e., she’ll let you get away with more). And it piques her interest in you (now she wants where things go with her and you!).

But there’s plenty of opportunity to botch the first date, too. And a lot of folks do, a lot of the time. There’s all this uncertainty: you don’t know your date well yet (certainly not as well as you’ll know her later on... if all goes well). You don’t know what she likes, what she’ll respond to... what ‘does it’ for her. You might think you do – but you don’t. Not yet.

Even if you’ve known her a while, well... people have their ‘social selves’, which is what they present to their friends and acquaintances. Getting her on a date is about getting past this social self (and finding out whom she really is).

On top of it all, you may not be all that sure what to do with your date, what to discuss, or where to take her. So in addition to all the question marks of your date herself, there is also the question mark of the date.

And the more question marks there are, the rougher things get.

In this article we’ll look at 11 of the most fatal mistakes you can make on first dates.

But don’t worry – we’ll also talk about how to avoid those mistakes, to make your first dates go as smooth as butter (and make your date melt like butter while she’s out with you, too).

Are Gorgeous Women More Difficult than Cute or Pretty Ones?

Hector Castillo's picture

gorgeous women
Some guys will tell you to get a beautiful girl, treat her the same as any girl. Good advice, but it’s worth keeping in mind: she isn’t, actually, the same as any girl.

Uh, yeah. Duh.

But every so often, I’ll hear some guy say something like “You should just treat that girl like she’s a 7.”

To an extent, I agree, but that doesn’t mean that if you walk up to any stunner on the street and treat her like you would any other girl, you’re automatically going to sleep with her.

Your initial cockiness might intrigue her and get you to the hook point, but very quickly she’s going to find out if you’re really as good as you pretend to be. And if you’re not her superior, she will quickly expose you.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Handle "I Have to Find My Friends"

Chase Amante's picture

I have to find my friends
You’ve met a girl, hit it off, and invited her to leave with you. But then she tells you “I have to find my friends!” Don’t fret – there are several ways to handle this.

One of the most bone-chilling things a girl you’ve made a lot of headway with in a bar, at a party, on a beach, or in a shopping mall can tell you when you ask her to go somewhere with you is “I have to find my friends!”

It signals a likely end to this beautiful courtship you’ve enjoyed with her. Either she is going to go and not come back... or you are going to go with her and follow her around like a puppy dog for a bit, until her friends decide it is time to go and she leaves (without you).

It totally sucks. You thought you were doing great with her. But now she “has to find her friends.”

How do you handle this obstacle with finesse, and not lose the girl?

How Much Do You Actually Need to Know About Girls to Get Them?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

know about girls
Must you be an expert on women to excel with them? Of course not… yet there are different kinds of expertise, and they have different effects on your odds with women.

I have a lot of fun building mental models of how other folks think, feel, and act that are as accurate as I can get them. As you may notice from comments by female readers on some of my articles, I’m generally pretty on-the-mark.

Yet something I found myself thinking about recently was “How well do you actually need to understand women to date them and bed them?”

It’s an interesting question. And not as easy to answer as you might think... because there are different kinds of “understanding women”, and different kinds of “doing well with women.”

How to Respond When She Only Sends You an Emoji (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

Have you ever had a girl respond to one of your texts with only an emoji? As with texting, and anything related to women, the context is important. But if she ONLY sends you an emoji, here's a good analysis of how to form a response.

If you do it correctly, you can sometimes get her to follow up and put more effort into the conversation.

Why Don't Girls Want Intelligent Guys? Part 2: Why Dumb Guys Get Laid

Hector Castillo's picture

dumb guys get laid
Dumb guys didn’t spend their youth reading books or winning debates. Instead, they occupied themselves with reading people and winning babes.

Welcome to part 2 of this series. If you didn’t catch what I was getting at in the last article, I’ll put it simply.

Intelligent men have issues getting pussy. More specifically, by "intelligent men," I mean nerdy. They use big words, spend lots of time reading, aren’t good with people, and value their intelligence above everything else. That sort of guy.

How I used to be.

These men inevitably discover that it’s the moderately intelligent or even straight-up stupid men who get the most poonani.

Why?

Girls Who are New in Town are Easier

Chase Amante's picture

new girl in town
The girl who’s new to town is easier to chat up, get dates with, sleep with, and make your girlfriend. But why? It’s down to social rank and newcomer identity.

Wherever you look, the ‘new girl in town’ phenomenon is in evidence. Specifically, the ‘new girl in town is easy’ phenomenon:

  • Female university students are easier to bed in their first two semesters in school than at any other time in their college careers

  • The new intern at work is far and away easier to bed than the girl you’ve worked with for the past two years

  • Girls who’ve just joined an online dating platform are significantly easier to score meet ups with than women who’ve been on there three plus months

  • Girls you meet at bars or the gym or salsa class who’ve just moved to town are easier to sleep with and date than girls who’ve been there a year or longer

  • Women who are fresh off the boat (FOB) from a foreign country are way easier to bed than foreign-born women who’ve been in your country three or four years

The first few times you hook up with a girl who’s new – in school, at work, in town, in your country, or in any scene – you might assume it’s a fluke. But when it starts to happen again and again, you can begin to wonder something else: could it be that women who are new to the scene are easier in general?

As it turns out, they are.

We’re going to talk a bit about why. And then we’ll talk about where to find women who are freshly arrived (for all your dating and mating purposes).

Why Don't Girls Want Intelligent Guys? Part 1: The Problem with Intellectuals

Hector Castillo's picture

girls don't want intelligent guys
Girls seem to go for dumb guys a lot more than they do smart, intelligent guys. Why don’t girls want to date intelligent guys, though?

The seduction community is rife with smart guys, guys who know a lot about history, science, philosophy, and other disciplines that have a high intelligence requirement for competence and mastery.

Why are there so many intelligent men in the community?

Simple.

Most of them were alone in their teenage years and into their 20s (or 30s). In their search for a solution to their romantic problems, they put their massive minds to the task.

Some of those men became successful. They continued to theorize and eventually write or record their thoughts. They’re the ones who created the seduction community.

Since they're smart, their rhetoric and syntax is affluent, detailed, and nuanced. Thus, the men who most ably learn from these teachers are also intelligent.

Intelligent men go searching, find these resources created by other intelligent men. Then, speaking the same language, they mesh well together, creating a feedback loop of intelligent men teaching other intelligent men.

This is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a great thing. There are certain principles in this field that take time and focus to logically mine and cut, and raw IQ helps quicken that process.

But oftentimes, while intelligence helps with understanding and teaching, and while it looks flashy and impressive on paper or on video, it can get in the way of what this entire community is focused on.