Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Don't Compliment Girls You Want to Date on Their Looks. Here's Why

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don't compliment women on their looksIt’s common for men to try to chat up a girl by complimenting her on her looks. Yet all this does is make you sound exactly like every other guy.

Over on the forum, we had a member who protested that he struggles to compliment women on anything other than their physical appearances. He doesn’t care about or pay attention to women’s ornamentation, he says, and wouldn’t complimenting on something else be ingenuine? Here’s some of what he commented:

Iʼve long believed that the purpose of compliments in the early moments of an approach is to communicate sexual intent, which signals confidence and avoids creepiness.

For the intent to be sexual, I would have thought compliments on genetic features would hit the mark better than those on clothing or adornments. After all, a child she could give you might inherit her eyes, hair, complexion, or facial features — but not her shoes, blouse, handbag, or earrings. (Expensive earrings, maybe!)

You might think, “No, no, a girl isn’t thinking about having kids with some guy she just met,” or vice versa. But hold on — this isnʼt conscious.

I donʼt know if this is a problem most guys face, or if Iʼm just some genetic anomaly that is somehow immune to acrylic nails and handbags.

Well, on the rare occasion Iʼm actually impressed by some trinket, I now know what to do!

Maybe you luck out and she has a killer walk or some other standout behavior, but that’s 1 in 1000. What do you do with the other 999? Revert to a very genuine compliment on her physical features? I do most love those, but Iʼm told thatʼs not seductive.

He had a lot more theory behind his approach to opening with looks-based compliments. I love theory! The one issue with theory, of course, is that if you’re using it for something practical, like, say, putting girls in your bed, you need to turn your theory into testable hypotheses and test it out. Then test competing hypotheses. Then find which works best.

I can tell you, as most any other guy in the game can as well, that looks-based compliments are very suboptimal most of the time with girls (there are times and places and ways they can work. But in general you don’t want looks-compliments as your go-to).

Let’s look at why that is and what you can do instead, EVEN IF you don’t care a lick about women’s fashion choices (like our forum member).

Tactics Tuesdays: "Others Say" Teases

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that's what the other said teaseWhen a woman hits you with a skeptical accusation, fire back with this clever response: the “others say” tease.

I wrote a quick post on X about these but I want to expand on the concept in a tactical article here.

An “others say” tease (or a pass-through tease) is a tease uniquely suited for dealing with tests and criticism. It’s a very simple tactic that nevertheless wraps up multiple tech in its execution:

It’s an optimal tactic for women who are skeptical or hostile to you, though you can also use it with girls at any stage with any level of interest.

Let’s have a look at how it works.

Roses of Romantic Attraction Progress Report: Writing Rose IX, Logistics

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rose ix: logisticsNearly finished with Rose IX, Chase updates on the nearly-complete writing of this Rose, and what comes next in the writing of this next book.

It’s been a little while since my last update. So here’s the latest on my upcoming book, the Roses of Romantic Attraction. You can find the previous updates here.

One new update: we have a new cover design, courtesy our designer Pravin. You can see it in the header image for this update article.

If this is your first time reading about the book, I’m writing RoRA to be the ultimate compilation of the facts of attraction for both men and women. In terms of attraction books, we have Ovid’s works, Casanova’s memoirs, and modern pickup manuals. We also have a few ultra-dry text book compilations of the scientific research on attraction. Nowhere is there a popular science book that compiles all the science on attraction, organizes it through a lens of clarity and simplicity, and gives both men and women an actionable process for attracting the opposite sex.

That’s the aim for Roses: to serve as the attraction Bible. The one book you can hand anyone who wants to learn how to better attract the opposite sex, and he or she will immediately find loads of takeaways useful to him or her.

I’ve broken the book down into a dozen chapters I’m calling ‘roses’. Each rose focuses on a different essential element of attraction.

Right now I’m finishing up Rose IX on logistics. Here’s the latest update.

Seductive Archetype: Being the "Prosocial Playboy"

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being the prosocial playboyIf you can’t avoid a playboy reputation, do this: be the PROSOCIAL playboy. This archetype is deeply intriguing to women – it lets you move FAST with them, too.

One of the early snags a lot of guys will run into once they start self-improving with girls is the “playboy problem.”

You get a little too slick, a little too easy with the conversation, and suddenly girls you’re talking to start telling you things like:

  • “You’re pretty good at this, aren’t you?”
  • “I’ll bet you get a lot of girls.”
  • “I’d better be careful around you.”

At first this is going to feel good. Girls are acknowledging how slick you are! But you soon realize it’s actually a sign of low attainability. The fact that she is commenting on your slickness means you are so slick it’s noticeable, and it’s making her feel like you are insincere.

To her, you’re just saying the same thing you’ve told dozens of other girls. She’s nothing special to you, she thinks, which makes her not feel good. While you do want girls to know you have options, you also want girls to feel they are special to you; sacrificing either one of these drubs attraction.

The typical advice here is to do things that defuse the playboy reputation and make you come across more sincere. Basically, to not seem like you are a player at all.

But there’s another route you can go, that you sometimes may be FORCED to go, if circumstances force you to accept that playboy reputation.

That is to accept, own it, and wrap yourself up as the PROSOCIAL playboy instead.

Tactics Tuesdays: Commandeering Girls' Frames

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commandeering her framesWhen girls try to set frames on you, rather than bust them or resist them, just commandeer them. Take her frame over and make it YOURS!

Now for a particularly devious tactic:

The frame commandeer.

This little bit of attitudinal jujitsu allows you to take control of a frame a girl attempts to set. It then puts the frame at your disposal to use to turn the pressure she attempted to use on you right back against her.

You will use this tactic with girls who are already hooked on you and attracted to you. It is NOT for girls you haven’t hooked yet (it doesn’t work then).

The more into you a girl is, the stronger this tactic works.

Let me start with an example for you.

CYBER MONDAY DEAL: Save $100 on "Meet Girls Everywhere" (Today ONLY)

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MGE Cyber MondayNow’s your chance to pick up the premiere DAY GAME course and save $100. It’s time you started meeting the women you really wanted.

If you’ve been thinking about getting into cold approach or day game, now’s the time to get up off the fence.

Today, for one day only, we’ve slashed $100 off the price of the Hector Castillo Girls Chase program “Meet Girls Everywhere.”

Learn About “Meet Girls Everywhere” HERE

This is THE course that’s going to turn you into a day game phenomenon. In it, Hector Castillo arms you with all the tools you need to put as many girls on your calendar as you want, completely sourced from day game. This is how you meet THE women you want… anywhere and everywhere.

When a Girl Says She Feels "No Chemistry" (+ How to Fix)

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why she doesn't feel a spark (plus what to do)If a girl feels there’s no chemistry with you, if she says there’s no spark, is it fate? Not at all; it’s SKILL, because “spark creation” can be learned.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Turn Your Conversations Playful

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make your conversations playfulWomen will talk to you in polite or inquisitive but often boring ways. To make it flirtation, you must inject playfulness into your chat with a girl.

Commenting on my article about dumbing yourself down to sleep with smart girls quicker, Jason H asks:

Hi Chase,
Any advice on transitioning conversation to more teasing/flirting in certain scenario's to make the dynamic more fun/seductive
- When she is focused on connection, but you want to inject some more teasing/flirting
- When she is focused on catching up/factual information such as how is this going, how are things at Y etc or other impersonal topics
- In group scenario's where it's more difficult to do this and you want to tease or flirt with a certain girl

Basically asking about identifying cues and opportunities to inject a little more teasing & fun into conversations, or strategies to direct the conversation towards more fun in a socially skilled way.

Thanks!

Sure, let’s talk about this: how do you turn your conversations playful?

Essentially, when you’re dealing with girls who are trying to connect or extract facts out of you, meanwhile you are trying to make it a playful, flirtatious conversation, what you are dealing with is a frame battle. She wants to frame the conversation one way while you want to frame it another.

I want to touch on whether it’s necessary to seize control of the conversation this way – and what can happen if you do vs. if you don’t. Then we’ll talk making your conversations playful.

The Adaptive Mechanism Behind Birth Rate Decline: Is It Group Evolution?

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what mechanism's behind the birth rate collapseBirth rates are falling around the world. Why? Also, what is the reproductive benefit to people having fewer children – or no children at all?

I just read an article titled “Pets in Tokyo. The Plague.” In it, the author writes scathingly about Tokyo’s obsession with pets, the replacement of children with pets (there are more pets than children in Japan), and the obscene amounts of money Japanese spend on these surrogate children, instead of simply having children.

I’ve been utterly fascinated with the rapid spread of infertility and childlessness across the globe in recent decades.

Ubiquitously, across nearly all societies, even those with completely different cultures, governmental setups, and geopolitical alignments, birth rates are in freefall.

Any birth rate under 2.1 total births per women means a declining population; and the lower the birth rate, the faster the decline. As of 2024, the average total fertility rates of the various countries and regions were as follows:

  • Iran: 2.0 total births per woman
  • South America: 1.8 total births per woman
  • Australia: 1.8 total births per woman
  • Russia: 1.8 total births per woman
  • United States: 1.7 total births per woman
  • Western Europe: 1.5 total births per woman
  • Japan: 1.4 total births per woman
  • China: 1.2 total births per woman
  • South Korea: 0.8 total births per woman

North Korea, South Korea’s bitter enemy and polar opposite, is at a mere total fertility rate of 1.9 births per woman.

Even sub-Saharan Africa, that bastion of resistless procreation, has seen its fecundity slide in recent years, from 6.5 total births per woman in 1980 to a comparably meager 4.5 in 2022.

The interesting question here, though, is what is the mechanism?

Stop Repelling People with Your Uncharitable Assumptions

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quit running people off with this irksome behaviorPeople often make uncharitable assumptions about each other. But when you do this, and tell the other person, you tear your relationship with him or her to shreds.

A few years back I wrote an article about the trouble autistic men have in dating. In it I also talked about my experience as a coach trying to work with autistic men and how fiendishly difficult it is.

(autistic reader trigger warning: I was very blunt in that article, because in my experience dealing with autistic men this is the only way to communicate effectively. Delicacy leads to large and frustrating misunderstandings. Some autistic readers found that blunt article enlightening; others found it depressing. If you’re sensitive, you’ll likely be better off reading my forum thread on practical tips & success stories from autistic men)

One of the things I mentioned in that article was the frequency with which I have found autistic men make ‘uncharitable assumptions’ in conversations with me. I’ve seen it with so many different autistic men that I assume this is probably a normal behavior for them, which they’re likely doing with other people too.

In fact, I think this behavior alone is probably the cause of a large number of autistic men’s falling outs with people. While it’s a small behavior, it’s really, really aggravating.

Autistic men aren’t the only ones who are guilty of this, either. ADHD men do this often too. Any guy who speaks before he empathizes, really, can be guilty of this.

In this article, I’m going to introduce you to this concept, which I am certainly not the first to identify (indeed, there are proverbs around this going back to antiquity), but I’m going to highlight it in ways you probably haven’t thought about before – and hopefully save you from burning some bridges and melting down some relationships with inadvertent rudeness.