Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Any Hesitance to Approach (that Isn't Strategic) Is Approach Anxiety

Chase Amante's picture
overcoming non-strategic approach anxietyIf you pause to approach from fear of what people may think (“She’s too young for him!” “They’re different races!” “He’s too short!”) it’s approach anxiety.

On my article about what to do when girls you approach say you’re too old, TheDude comments:

Hi Chase, your blog will never cease to amaze me. Just when I think I can't learn anything new, I visit the blog and read an article that teaches me something new.

I have a question - how to handle age gap social lashback? My problem is following. I'm in my 30s, smooth with women, phisically attractive, tight fundamentals. I live in a city where I'm quite known (not rock-star famous, but people know me). Most of women in my city are young (19-22). When I see good looking chick across the street, I hesitate to approach.

Why? Because I can't assess her age and I'm afraid she's too young. To assess her age, I need to either scan her before approaching (which is impossible is she's going the other way across the street) or take a risk and open her.

How should I act if after opening I find out she's very young? I don't want labeled as a guy who "harrasses young girls" because of this social lashback.

Age is a common reason men will hesitate to approach.

A girl might be too young for them, they think. Or a woman might be too old for them. People would judge them for it.

There are other reasons a guy might hesitate: a woman might have a boyfriend. She might be busy right now and not want to talk to someone. She might be in a bad mood. She might be an angry feminist who hates men! She might be listening to a song or a podcast she’s really into on her headphones and not want to be disturbed.

She might, she might, she might.

Nevertheless, for all these reasons, no matter how real the trepidation might feel, no matter how seemingly valid the reason to not approach, unless it is a strategic choice, it is still just approach anxiety.

Tactics Tuesdays: Socratic Questions for Under-the-Radar Effects

Chase Amante's picture
TEXTSocratic questioning is a powerful rhetorical technique for breaking people out of dogmatic beliefs. Use it to bust bad opinions… and turn girls into fans.

Everybody’s had the experience of being in a conversation with someone and hitting points of resistance every which way.

You’re talking with a girl and she brings up some opinion you don’t agree with… then when you try to get her off the topic she won’t budge, insisting on staying with this disagreeable topic. Maybe it’s a political opinion, or a cultural one, or something else. Whatever it is, it’s grating to your ears, and it’s allll she wants to talk about.

If you express the contrary opinion, you’re certain she’ll blow up. And in any event, debates about opinions aren’t sexy. Not conducive to seduction.

If you just go along with her opinion and feign agreement, you risk looking insincere, especially if it’s an opinion you don’t hold, and especially if it’s one that undermines you (e.g., her: “Men are just so obsessed with sex it’s disgusting. I hope you’re not like that”).

You can agree and amplify, which is going to work in some cases by turning it from a serious debate into a funny bit of banter… but if she’s too deep into ‘rant mode’ (or she’s one of those totally humorless chicks) even this may backfire.

What if there was a way you could defuse all her wound-up energy around this opinion, while allowing her to feel a lot more connected to you, while at the SAME TIME even potentially pointing out some cracks in her thinking that lead her to reconsider her most staunchly-held beliefs?

There is such a way:

Socratic questioning.

Giving a Girl the Archetypal Romance

Chase Amante's picture
giving her the archetypal romanceWomen fantasize about a type of ‘archetypal romance’. They read stories about it; they dream of it. As a man, you can give women just such a romance, too.

We have a thread on the forum where we’ve discussed how to better write female characters. It started with a discussion on how poorly written most modern female characters are (with them basically being written as “men with breasts and zero character development”), then discussing better-written female characters.

Recently, that thread revived, with a discussion now centered on archetypal female characters. I weighed in with some examples of variations on an archetypal female character progression:

  1. Heroine is either single or dating a boring guy who is pressing her for commitment.

  1. Heroine then meets an exciting scoundrel and begins to fall in love.

  1. Heroine realizes the scoundrel is “no good” and pushes him away… yet misses him.

  1. The scoundrel redeems himself and the heroine rushes back into his arms.

  1. Heroine transforms scoundrel into a dependable mate. Happily ever after; fade to black.

We might title this character arc ‘taming the untamed man’. It fits well with what we’ve discussed before on the female prerogative to tame males.

Today I’d like to talk a little about this archetypal romance – and how you can construct for a girl you’re seeing a similar adventure that creates a deep and fulfilling romantic story for her.

Tactics Tuesdays: Touch Tests

Chase Amante's picture
touch testsNot sure if a girl you’re talking to is into you? Want to find out a quick, fun, and easy way? Use a touch test! It’s like a compliance test – with touch!

All right, let’s have a little fun with this Tactics Tuesdays installment.

Today we’re going to talk about ‘touch tests’ of all sorts, from harmless to risqué.

What is a touch test? It is a kind of compliance test where the compliance you test for is her receptiveness to your touch. These tests run the full gamut from light incidental touches to slapping girls’ butts, manhandling their breasts, and pulling their hair.

See, I told you it went all the way up to ‘risqué’.

To use anything more than very light touch tests, you’re going to need a healthy helping of calibration. But there’s one other thing you need to use ANY kind of touch test, too: congruence.

Rewarding and Punishing Girls

Chase Amante's picture
rewarding and punishing girlsReward girls to encourage helpful behavior you like. Punish them to discourage unhelpful behavior you dislike. Do both to make your love life much easier.

Note: this is an old post of mine that guys liked a lot from back in the mASF days. It dates to around mid-2007… so if you notice any stylistic differences here, well, this is coming from a younger and less polished me.


Whether during the initial pickup or in a relationship of any kind with a chick, rewarding and punishing is crucial. A lot of guys will make the mistake of trying to alleviate bad behavior by kissing up to a girl, trying to distract her, or going overboard and getting angry or reactive. None of these are the correct solution for maintaining both your value and your attainability in the interaction or relationship.

Most guys in the pickup community who are successful at picking up girls recognize the importance of rewarding and punishing during the pickup: if you don't punish bad behavior, she will think you are a pushover, lose interest, and blow you out. If you reward good behavior, she will try harder to make you happy and hopefully the night will end with a romp in the sack. Where a lot of guys drop the ball later on is in the relationship stage.

The fact is, most of the guys you will talk to simply don't think of their relationships in terms of mapping a girl to behave the way they want. But it can be done, and it's not terribly difficult - and it will make your relationships that much more enjoyable, supportive, and strong.

So here's a challenge: begin looking at your relationships in these terms. Everything your girl does can be interpreted as either good behavior or bad behavior. If you like what she is doing, you MUST reward her, or else she will likely stop doing it, forget about it, or just think you don't care. If on the other hand you DON'T like what she is doing, you must punish her, or she will keep doing it and lose respect for you all the way.

Why Cool Guys Are So Unflappable with Girls

Chase Amante's picture
what makes cool guys unflappable with girlsWhat makes cool guys unflappable with girls… when so many other guys blow their lids? Why do girls have such hard times ‘getting’ to truly cool dudes?

Over the years, I have been noticing men taking women more and more seriously. The result of this is that men and women alike are both becoming angrier and lonelier.

It might seem counterintuitive that women would get angrier and lonelier from men taking them more seriously when women themselves are the ones demanding to be taken seriously. At least, it would seem counterintuitive – IF you were taking women seriously.

I’ll explain. When a woman says, “You need to take me seriously!” if you react to that in a serious way and say, “Wow, I guess I’d better take her seriously,” you are already taking her seriously, and she is only going to get angrier, and lonelier, and so are you.

The right way to respond to a woman doing something emotional is to interpret it as her being perturbed in some emotional way, possibly related to what her actual words are saying, but most likely not. Any relation that does exist is likely to be tangential or superficial, with the true motivator for her emotion left unvoiced.

Often this is not your problem to solve, but hers. Though you can help her. But NOT by taking her seriously!

Guys who take women seriously take on this huge burden of trying to figure out exactly what women are so exasperated about, then adapt themselves to whatever they think women need, so that they can do the male thing and ‘solve the problem’, based on what the women are saying, as well as whatever they can guess about what the women might actually possibly want, which usually doesn’t actually get them to the real root problem at all, frustrating both the women and themselves.

Cool guys do none of this, though.

Cool guys do something different:

They let a woman’s emotionalism roll right down their backs, with the result being that women are much happier around them, much more at peace, feel much more secure, and do not feel the frustrating isolation they do around men who are taking them seriously.

Tactics Tuesdays: Waving Girls Over

Chase Amante's picture
open new girls by waving them overWhen you’re in a venue where you cannot easily approach, you have another option: wave her over. By beckoning girls to you, you change the dynamic.

Commenting on my article about how to open a girl who’s moving, TheDude asks about opening in a very particular sort of venue:

There's this one hyper-cool venue, where all the best cool chicks go. The characteristics:
-a lot of hot women, around 50/50 women-men ratio
-the venue is an outdoor bar, ofter very crowded
-people come here in groups, they sit down by the tables - difficult to make a move here because you need to open whole group + often there's no spot to seat (making you an outsider)
-they only moment you can talk to these chicks freely is when they move from point A to B. The window to act is very short, making things even more difficult
-I'm quite known in my city, so I can't spam approach and I need to minimize negative effects of potential rejection

I'm over 30, I've done some crazy women-related shit, but now I prefer sniper game approach - minimal effort, maximum effect. I'm good with women in general, but in this venue I feel blocked.

The tap & beckon sound good for chicks that walk very close to me, are there any tactics for chicks moving outside of my reach? Should I run after them? What should I say to spark enough interest, but make it look low-effort? Or maybe I should wait for her to join her group and open them (yikes)?

This kind of situation – where everyone is seated at tables with their social groups and there really are not many great opportunities to just bump into people – lends itself less well to approaching. However, if you’re willing to be creative, you’ve got options:

  • You can post up at the bar or near the bathrooms (or, if the venue has one, in the smoking lounge) and meet women as they drift in.

  • You can run super sociable extrovert-style game where you open people at the tables around you, then jump to their tables, then after chatting with them a bit open the tables adjacent to them. All the while you can be introducing the people between tables and creating a real lively time.

  • You can do the good ol’ fashioned “hostess, send a drink to that lovely brunette two tables over in the green dress and let her know it’s on me” and give her the sly nod when the hostess delivers the drink and points you out to her. If she seems excited or intrigued, wait a moment, then go open her.

However, for my money, the most Law of Least Effort-abiding way to open girls in situations like these is this: you catch a girl’s eye and wave her over.

It’s a dead simple tactic. It’s supremely confident. And when it works, it starts you off in an ideal frame.

Coaching w/ Hector: Price Hike in 3 Days…

Chase Amante's picture
get coached & get good coaching with Hector CastilloDozens of men have transformed their results with women via coaching with Hector Castillo. If you’d like to join their ranks, the time is now.

How would you like to become a day game pro?

Hector’s latest client – a guy with some decent experience meeting girls at bars, who signed up with Hector after he decided to learn to meet girls by day – has since he started with Hector 3 months ago:

  • Brought 8 girls home.

  • Fingered one of them… and slept with 3 more.

  • Made out with a grand total of 10 girls.

Not too shabby stats for a day game novice!

Of course, Hector teaches more than day game, too: he’s a college game expert (having racked up 46 lays in his time partying at university) and the pioneer of the no-holds-barred ‘sexual direct’ chat-her-up style.

But in just 3 days, the cost to work with Hector will be going UP… by a whopping 67%.

So if you think you MIGHT want to work with him, NOW is the time to book a spot to talk to him, before his rates lift off!