Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Rewarding and Punishing Girls

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By: Chase Amante

rewarding and punishing girlsReward girls to encourage helpful behavior you like. Punish them to discourage unhelpful behavior you dislike. Do both to make your love life much easier.

Note: this is an old post of mine that guys liked a lot from back in the mASF days. It dates to around mid-2007… so if you notice any stylistic differences here, well, this is coming from a younger and less polished me.

Whether during the initial pickup or in a relationship of any kind with a chick, rewarding and punishing is crucial. A lot of guys will make the mistake of trying to alleviate bad behavior by kissing up to a girl, trying to distract her, or going overboard and getting angry or reactive. None of these are the correct solution for maintaining both your value and your attainability in the interaction or relationship.

Most guys in the pickup community who are successful at picking up girls recognize the importance of rewarding and punishing during the pickup: if you don't punish bad behavior, she will think you are a pushover, lose interest, and blow you out. If you reward good behavior, she will try harder to make you happy and hopefully the night will end with a romp in the sack. Where a lot of guys drop the ball later on is in the relationship stage.

The fact is, most of the guys you will talk to simply don't think of their relationships in terms of mapping a girl to behave the way they want. But it can be done, and it's not terribly difficult - and it will make your relationships that much more enjoyable, supportive, and strong.

So here's a challenge: begin looking at your relationships in these terms. Everything your girl does can be interpreted as either good behavior or bad behavior. If you like what she is doing, you MUST reward her, or else she will likely stop doing it, forget about it, or just think you don't care. If on the other hand you DON'T like what she is doing, you must punish her, or she will keep doing it and lose respect for you all the way.

Why Cool Guys Are So Unflappable with Girls

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By: Chase Amante

what makes cool guys unflappable with girlsWhat makes cool guys unflappable with girls… when so many other guys blow their lids? Why do girls have such hard times ‘getting’ to truly cool dudes?

Over the years, I have been noticing men taking women more and more seriously. The result of this is that men and women alike are both becoming angrier and lonelier.

It might seem counterintuitive that women would get angrier and lonelier from men taking them more seriously when women themselves are the ones demanding to be taken seriously. At least, it would seem counterintuitive – IF you were taking women seriously.

I’ll explain. When a woman says, “You need to take me seriously!” if you react to that in a serious way and say, “Wow, I guess I’d better take her seriously,” you are already taking her seriously, and she is only going to get angrier, and lonelier, and so are you.

The right way to respond to a woman doing something emotional is to interpret it as her being perturbed in some emotional way, possibly related to what her actual words are saying, but most likely not. Any relation that does exist is likely to be tangential or superficial, with the true motivator for her emotion left unvoiced.

Often this is not your problem to solve, but hers. Though you can help her. But NOT by taking her seriously!

Guys who take women seriously take on this huge burden of trying to figure out exactly what women are so exasperated about, then adapt themselves to whatever they think women need, so that they can do the male thing and ‘solve the problem’, based on what the women are saying, as well as whatever they can guess about what the women might actually possibly want, which usually doesn’t actually get them to the real root problem at all, frustrating both the women and themselves.

Cool guys do none of this, though.

Cool guys do something different:

They let a woman’s emotionalism roll right down their backs, with the result being that women are much happier around them, much more at peace, feel much more secure, and do not feel the frustrating isolation they do around men who are taking them seriously.

Tactics Tuesdays: Waving Girls Over

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By: Chase Amante

open new girls by waving them overWhen you’re in a venue where you cannot easily approach, you have another option: wave her over. By beckoning girls to you, you change the dynamic.

Commenting on my article about how to open a girl who’s moving, TheDude asks about opening in a very particular sort of venue:

There's this one hyper-cool venue, where all the best cool chicks go. The characteristics:
-a lot of hot women, around 50/50 women-men ratio
-the venue is an outdoor bar, ofter very crowded
-people come here in groups, they sit down by the tables - difficult to make a move here because you need to open whole group + often there's no spot to seat (making you an outsider)
-they only moment you can talk to these chicks freely is when they move from point A to B. The window to act is very short, making things even more difficult
-I'm quite known in my city, so I can't spam approach and I need to minimize negative effects of potential rejection

I'm over 30, I've done some crazy women-related shit, but now I prefer sniper game approach - minimal effort, maximum effect. I'm good with women in general, but in this venue I feel blocked.

The tap & beckon sound good for chicks that walk very close to me, are there any tactics for chicks moving outside of my reach? Should I run after them? What should I say to spark enough interest, but make it look low-effort? Or maybe I should wait for her to join her group and open them (yikes)?

This kind of situation – where everyone is seated at tables with their social groups and there really are not many great opportunities to just bump into people – lends itself less well to approaching. However, if you’re willing to be creative, you’ve got options:

  • You can post up at the bar or near the bathrooms (or, if the venue has one, in the smoking lounge) and meet women as they drift in.

  • You can run super sociable extrovert-style game where you open people at the tables around you, then jump to their tables, then after chatting with them a bit open the tables adjacent to them. All the while you can be introducing the people between tables and creating a real lively time.

  • You can do the good ol’ fashioned “hostess, send a drink to that lovely brunette two tables over in the green dress and let her know it’s on me” and give her the sly nod when the hostess delivers the drink and points you out to her. If she seems excited or intrigued, wait a moment, then go open her.

However, for my money, the most Law of Least Effort-abiding way to open girls in situations like these is this: you catch a girl’s eye and wave her over.

It’s a dead simple tactic. It’s supremely confident. And when it works, it starts you off in an ideal frame.

Coaching w/ Hector: Price Hike in 3 Days…

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By: Chase Amante

get coached & get good coaching with Hector CastilloDozens of men have transformed their results with women via coaching with Hector Castillo. If you’d like to join their ranks, the time is now.

How would you like to become a day game pro?

Hector’s latest client – a guy with some decent experience meeting girls at bars, who signed up with Hector after he decided to learn to meet girls by day – has since he started with Hector 3 months ago:

  • Brought 8 girls home.

  • Fingered one of them… and slept with 3 more.

  • Made out with a grand total of 10 girls.

Not too shabby stats for a day game novice!

Of course, Hector teaches more than day game, too: he’s a college game expert (having racked up 46 lays in his time partying at university) and the pioneer of the no-holds-barred ‘sexual direct’ chat-her-up style.

But in just 3 days, the cost to work with Hector will be going UP… by a whopping 67%.

So if you think you MIGHT want to work with him, NOW is the time to book a spot to talk to him, before his rates lift off!

Why Men Are MORE Romantic (Than Women Are!)

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By: Chase Amante

TEXTStudies show men are the more romantic sex. Why is this so? What’s the reason? And is there anything you can do to avoid falling head over heels?

Commenting on a recent article, a reader asks:

Why are men the romantic sex Chase?

I wasn’t going to ask this, but sometimes I actually think of a few girls that I used to like, then have to snap myself out of it and tell myself that they aren't even thinking about you and we didn’t even get together.

Pathetic.

Anyway, why are men like that, and better yet, how do you become unromantic?

I’ve noticed that girls that I liked a lot I could never get for some reason.

I would get all these stupid fantasies in my head and it never worked out.

So, I’d really like to not do that ever again and control my mind and emotions at all times.

Thanks

Scientific research has shown that men are more romantic. In particular, men are more likely to subscribe more strongly and more universally to the following beliefs than women are:

  • One chooses a partner based on love.
  • Love conquers all.
  • True love lasts forever.

Men are also more likely to idealize their female partners than their female partners are them. How big is the difference? Well, it’s actually not massive. On average, the study found men to be 6% more romantic than women are.

Before you think we’re making mountains out of molehills though, there’s more research that finds discrepancies between male and female romanticism. A 2013 survey of 100,000 individuals found men were 71% more likely than women were to report having experienced love at first sight. A 2010 study found that men are more prone to falling in love “if they tended to overestimate women’s sexual interest and highly valued physical attractiveness in potential partners.” Translation: horny guys who prioritize women’s looks and assume attraction tend to be more likely to fall in love.

Finally, anyone who’s gone through a rough breakup can tell you how common it is for women to seemingly shut off their emotions toward a man at breakup time. If she truly loved you, how could she do that to you – to the connection you had, you wonder?

This article examines why men tend toward being more romantic, falling in love faster, pining away unrequitedly, and hanging onto women long after they’ve moved on. We’ll ask whether this is a good or a bad thing – and whether (if bad) there’s anything you can do about it.

Dealing with Aggressive Cockblocks (What NOT to Do!)

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By: Chase Amante

dealing with aggressive cockblocksWhen you’re face-to-face with someone cockblocking you aggressively, your first response may be to get territorial. But this usually won’t do the trick!

Commenting on my article about girls saying you’re too old for them, reader Aiming Higher asks:

Hey Chase,

Appreciate a little advice on adroitly navigating cold approach scenarios where she's out with a friend or group and she or her mates remarks on the age discrepancy.

I'm guessing respond in the same way you outlined according to objection type, but address the person remarking as well as the woman and reversing the frame, if possible.

In particular, I'm wondering about this line: "You seem like a great friend and you also look incredible btw (not sure about a compliment here but maybe to defuse any tension?) though are you also her agent(s) who police who she can date or something? What next...you instruct her on what time she has to be home by and if she's done her homework (obviously appropriate facial expressions required and if she's clearly not school age).

Cheers,
Aiming Higher

What do we do here? Is it wise to compliment, then set the friend straight?

Or… is there a better strategy?

When Girls Love Bomb You But Lie

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By: Chase Amante

When Girls Love Bomb You But LieYou’re seeing a girl who acts SO into you, so DEVOTED… but then you find out she lied. Why would a girl so into you she BOMBED you with LOVE be lying?

Over on the forum, we had a member who settled into a relationship with a girl who won him over with love bombs. She seemed like such a good girlfriend candidate! Among other things, she:

  • Constantly FaceTImed him any day she wasn’t with him.
  • Would even fall asleep at night talking to him on the phone.
  • Rushed to his place every chance she got to sleep with / talk to him.
  • Pledged never to talk to other guys romantically.
  • Went out of her way to make sure he wouldn’t “wander off.”

At last, he asked this loving girl to be his girlfriend – and she agreed.

Happily ever after, right?

Except, one day our hero felt a “strong urge” to check his girlfriend’s phone – just to see if all she’d been telling him was true.

Well, spoiler, but it wasn’t. During the time she’d claimed to have cut off contact with all other suitors, she:

  1. Was in fact flirting with guys – not just random guys, but guys she “used to sleep with.”
  1. In addition to flirting with these men, she was also (during this time she claimed not to be talking to other guys romantically) sending these guys naked pictures of herself!

When our forum member, after discovering this, probed her for more details (without letting on that he knew), asking her if she was in contact with any of her old hookups, she gave him a firm denial. Our forum member, reeling at her deception, then said

And now all my anxieties about being monogamous are coming back and it’s making me feel so shitty. I can tell it’s bad because I couldn’t get hard much last night as we fucked and I just blamed it on being sick. I constantly feel nauseous and can’t get the thoughts out of my mind. I’m constantly scared that the relationship will end now that I know that all these guys were around and I can’t confront her about it due to how I found out and honestly, I don’t even want to because it’s just gonna make me come off as controlling. I wouldn’t have been as bothered if she was honest about it because we were obviously not official. With the relationship being this fresh, I don’t even want to cause much drama already and idk I have a feeling that maybe they’ll all just fall off down the line as the relationship progresses. Maybe I took too long to make it official. It would have been a different case if I made her my girlfriend last year and she had this communication with them.

It’s not helping that lately she’s hinted a few times that our relationship feels a bit too easy like we are so in sync. I try to sprinkle in some uncertainty and do new stuff with her so that boredom doesn’t creep in too early but knowing what I know now kinda makes that “it’s a bit too easy” comment worsen my anxiety.

Why did this girl feel compelled to keep texting – and sexting – her prior flings, even as she love bombed our hero, and at the same time flat-out lied to our hero’s face by claiming she’d cut contact with all other suitors? Is he right to think that this will just “fall off down the line as the relationship progresses”? Did he, indeed, “take too long to make it official”? Perhaps he should have acceded to her love bombs earlier and all this could’ve been avoided. Why does his girlfriend keep hinting that the relationship feels “too easy” though (especially if it’s the case that it “took too long”)?

What does it mean when women love bomb you, and lie?

Cold Approaching Women: How Hard Is It REALLY?

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By: Chase Amante

Is Cold Approaching Women Hard?How hard is it to cold approach girls and get success with them – REALLY? Is it impossible… very difficult… or actually easier than many believe?

Commenting on my article “When Girls You Approach Get Distracted”, a reader shares his experiences cold approaching women, stating his observations and saying he finds it a difficult way to meet girls:

Hi Chase,

thank you for clarification on this situation, and on your response, I really appreciate!

Looking down at those interactions, they fuzzled out, and nothing really happened, so I dont know, maybe I mishandled them.

My cold approaches so far have been not very successful (but I,ve been doing them extremely irregularly, maybe 1-2/month). Its because I always try to come in indirect, possibly with a ping, to make everything socially smooth, and also for me to not be so extremely nervous. However, here I struggle with another problem. Basically by coming in socially smooth, I try to avoid rejections at first, my „friendly and harmless“ vibe basically makes it impossible to reject me, but as soon as I start to switch to flirty, I notice immediate rejection (at least friendly rejection). However, I started to feel that all those things are actually secondary. The girl either likes me, or she doesnt like me, and even if she likes me, she sometimes doesnt even know why. I also noticed with all my successful flirts, that it honestly doesnt even matter whether I am shy, sexy, cool, or whatever, but that she likes me nonetheless. Sensing that, I am also much cooler and more relaxed, and behave much more like a natural with her. I simply came to the believe, that there is a certain proportion of girls simply attracted to you, and some are not. I really doubt that there is much „turn-around“ that one can do, without having MUCH more time with a person, that cold approach usually allows (seconds to maximum 1 hour).

So, to sum up, for girls really hooking and GETTING interested in you, cold approach seems to be extremely hard. Of course, if you approach and you are extremely ahead in social status, it might work, but usually, thats not the case if you go for beautiful girls. The very limited time you have in cold approach, the already „weird“ situation that she gets approached randomly (few people do it), and the fact that she has no intersections with your life whatsoever, makes cold approach rather impossible to strike off, if the girl is not interested in you anyways (maybe genetically, or you remind her of her boyfriend/father).

What are your thoughts Chase?

Our reader has some interesting experiences and observations here – on women’s initial reactions to you and on the ability (or inability) to wiggle out of a first impression.

Is he right about the WEIGHT of those first impressions – and is he right that cold approach is “rather impossible to strike off” if the girl isn’t already interested in you, due to genetic compatibility (like scent-based immune genes) / facial similarity / some other intangible characteristic?

Tactics Tuesdays: When Girls Say You're Too Old

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By: Chase Amante

when girls say you're too oldWhen a girl tells you you’re too old for her, she can really mean it… or it might be a test. How you respond depends on how firm her age gap objection is.

A forum member shared a conversation recently with a girl he met at a party, vibed well with, and took a phone number from… who then protested when he messaged her that he was “kinda too old” for her.

He responded in typical guy fashion, trying to get her to explain her reasoning and then negotiate her out of it. She responded how people typically respond to people trying to convince or persuade them, by sticking to her guns harder. Needless to say, our hero did not get the date.

What can you do if a girl protests you’re “too old” for her?

Are you doomed… or does it depend?

How Funny Are You with Girls? Free Quiz + Report

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By: Chase Amante

It’s been said I have a rather clever sense of humor. Humor factors into most of my seductions (even with those humorless types of girls, I will still be using humor… if only for my own amusement!), and readers of this site have been asking me for a guide to it pretty much since the site’s inception.

For that reason, while asking myself, “What kind of a program can I put together to help out guys while we get our dating app how-to guide retooled and ready for launch?” I hit upon the idea of putting a method to my side-splitting madness – and the Lush Teases™ Method was born.

Lush Teases™ is all mapped out at this point; the handbook is done (and looking slick), the audio courses are ready to record, the bonuses are all mapped out (this will be an audio + ebook only course – no video in this one, just so I can produce it for you faster than my usual glacial pace). I just need to hit the studio sometime in the next week or two to get the audio segments all banged out.

I’ll tell you more about Lush Teases™ as we get closer to launch.

In the meantime, however, I have created a short little-but-meaty report for you on being funny with women – along with a free quiz to take that evaluates how funny you CURRENTLY are with girls.