Emotions

After you gave it your all in a long interaction with a girl, you might be tired out. Yet she might want things to keep going, and be disappointed if they don't. What do you do?

Remember that one guy back in high school who always finished tasks before you? He got a kick out of beating everyone else to the punch, and you were left feeling inadequate because you didn’t do them as well?

In life, this happens all the time.

Here’s someone doing something you’ve never heard of before, doing it perfectly, and there’s another doing something different, also perfectly.

You end up looking at yourself, thinking, “Hey, what the hell, what are you doing right now, eating some chips, come on!”

So it is only natural when you look around a club or the street, and you see everything happening that you haven’t done before, and you get that same feeling.

You have to learn to relax that anxiety and start to look at the situation differently if you want to progress.

There are many ways men think about picking up women. Many of these ways are not helpful, though.

Once you're in this long enough, you start to notice a lot of the same mindsets again and again among learners.

Some of these mindsets help the mindset holders succeed with women.

A lot of them do not.

A ubiquitous but under-discussed tool in every good seducer's skill set is the art of misdirection. Let's peek at how you can use misdirection to better seduce the women you meet.

One of the most enjoyable things about the art of seduction is how open it is to a variety of angles, all of them unique, and all encompassing fascinating aspects of human psychology.

We know techniques like cold reading. Deep diving. Chase frames. Sex talk. Screening and qualifying. Compliance stacking. Yes-ladders. Forcing framing. Resistance busting. And so on and so forth. All these tactics are a pleasure to use, and for the woman you use them upon, they're a pleasure to have used on her.

You see, women enjoy to be seduced.

If they didn't enjoy it, they wouldn't let you get away with it.

While uninitiated men think seducers are big baddies who trick unsuspecting women into unwanted intimacy, any veteran seducer knows the opposite is true. It's the low-skilled non-seducers who ply women with alcohol until their decision-making is impaired or snake their ways into women's trusts via the 'friend zone'.

Seducers do the opposite.

When you're a seducer, you're honest. Even when you're using your tactics, the woman still knows what your game is. She's not dumb. She plays along, however, because she likes it.

And we can use misdirection to play this game with her.

While it might have a bad rap as a tool of pickpockets and con artists, misdirection is also a part of magic shows, carnivals, and some of the very best books and movies out there, that leave you riveted to your seat and unable to turn away.

You can use misdirection to the same effect within your own seductions.

It will give you more success, and a lot more enjoyment.

Name a woman's behavior to alter it. Most people aren't conscious of what they're doing or why… when you make her conscious, you change her trajectory.

People do all sorts of things without being conscious they're doing them.

They engage in behaviors -- often behaviors they don't themselves feel good about -- driven by emotions they're barely aware of.

You, however, at the very least by reading this site, are a student of human behavior. You're more conscious of the things you do and why... and you are more conscious of what those around you do, and why.

And when you point out to someone what he is doing, and make him conscious of it, often that is going to affect whether and how much he continues to do that thing.

If what he's doing is something negative, that shows a trait like jealousy or insecurity, you pointing it out is going to tend to motivate him to assert control over that behavior.

You can use this 'behavior naming' with women to help nudge them into fixing or quitting bad behavior they engage in around you.

Sometimes you want to open up to a girl and tell her your fears and weaknesses. But this behavior itself is a weakness – and you should not indulge it.

I have seen a certain behavior since I got into the seduction community that seems to be fairly common.

It is a behavior of men seeking to bond with women by opening up about their weaknesses, foibles, and fears. Or else seeking to use women as de facto therapists.

The end result is rarely what the man hopes for: instead, it hardens the woman on the man, turns her against him, and leads to him (the man) getting hurt.

Every time I see a man do this, my reaction is, "Why would you do that?"

And a lot of the time the man will answer with, "I thought she would care about me," or, "I just wanted to feel accepted," or, "I thought it was safe to open up to her."

Or they will say, "I thought women liked vulnerability."

It is true, women do like vulnerability. However, they like strong vulnerability.

They despise weakness.

Women are not cruel by default. But they very often are cruel to men they view as weak. This is an important principle to understand: women are kind to strong men, and cruel to weak men. This is because women adore strong men, and women despise weak men.

Even women with good hearts. Even women who do not want to hurt anyone. If you show weakness (not vulnerability, but weakness) to a woman, she is going to feel the emotion of disgust. She may be self-aware enough to resist this emotion, and recognize an injured soul and tell herself to feel compassion for you, but she is still going to be disgusted nevertheless.

You must not go around showing or flaunting weaknesses to women.

Especially not women you want to sleep with or have any kind of ongoing relationship with.

"Inner game" is the way you play the game on the inside. Good inner game is crucial – but the way to improve yours is not alone in a room in front of the mirror.

I had a call earlier with our director / casting director Casandra, who is always an absolute joy to talk to. Casandra was pivotal to the filming of my 'get the girl in one date' program One Date & The Dating Artisan, as well as a few other programs we're set to release in the next couple months (including my long-delayed course on personal charisma and a bachelor lifestyle, and another on touch).

On our call we discussed a new project we want to do for this lockdown situation. While we were on it, Casandra told me a rather incredible story of her own about guys she'd encountered who still had a lot of 'inner game' work to do.

The coaching I want to do is one where, rather than have a student on with a coach, then send him out between sessions to practice in the real world with women (which many guys can't do now due to the lockdown), we instead have him alternate between coaching sessions and video 'date' sessions with beautiful girls we've trained to go on these practice dates with guys so they can do what they've covered with the coach despite the lockdown.

Casandra liked the idea and we are at present setting that up (it's still going to be a week or two before I'll be able to tell you more... but if you're interested, you can fill out this form; we'll be in touch as soon as we can say more about it).

Anyway... as we talked about this, Casandra told me a story of her own, that related to the kind of thing we discussed.

A while back, she'd worked with another date coach, named Leo. Leo was helping a group of U.K. students who were 'below beginner' in romantic experience. They had very little experience with women, although Casandra said they were all "nice people, not weird or bad, they all looked normal, some were even handsome."

Leo decided to put these guys into one-on-one interactions with beautiful women to acclimate them to women like that. Casandra recruited the girls, and also joined herself.

Then came go-time. When the students started talking to the women normally, just in a normal person-to-person interaction, everything was fine.

But then, Leo told each student to imagine that he had approached his girl, that she liked him, and now he was talking to her. After Leo told the guys this, Casandra cocked her head a bit and smiled at the guy she was paired up with. Just a very cute, warm little smile (she showed me this smile. Totally harmless smile).

And her guy started crying.

A number of the guys started crying.

The moment they were asked to imagine these were girls they'd approached, they just lost it, and started bawling.

Casandra said she was shocked at the response. And honestly, while I have been in this business for 12 years, I was also a little surprised to hear this. Probably because many of the guys we get on GC are not total hard case beginners... many of them are guys who have a little dating success under their belts already and just want to up their results.

And I will say -- even when I was totally socially isolated myself (in my teens), I still had beautiful girls flirting with me or pursuing me (because I did other stuff to seem cool and attract women in). So I always felt 'entitled' to hot women.

Hearing about guys crying when faced with beautiful women they were told to imagine they'd approached got me thinking about this whole 'broken inner game' thing.

Because certainly, if a guy is starting out in a place like that, his inner game needs work.