Emotions

Girls teach you a lot when you try to talk to them, date them, or pick them up. They’re among the greatest teachers you’ll have, in fact.

In Drexel’s post yesterday on the top 3 reasons to pick up sober, he discussed pickup as a crucible through which you may purge demons and unlock total masculinity.

There are a few areas of life that shape and mold boys into men in their own unique ways:

• Group leadership (sports, clubs, politics, priesthood, military)
• Business operation (or in particular, business ownership)
• Teaching
  
• Fatherhood
• Cold approach pickup
  

None of these are guarantees. Plenty of men make it through any of these crucibles with gaping holes in their masculinity.

• The talented seducer who sobs over yet another girlfriend who’s ditched him, or flies into a rage when some girl dares reject him.

• The father who fails to discipline his children out of fear and instead raises dysfunctional adults.

• The leader who’s a leader in name only, and never learns to look out for anyone more than himself.

• The teacher who’s only in it for the paycheck, the power, or to indoctrinate and inculcate, versus the instructor who exists to challenge, spark curiosity, and open minds.
  

• The business operator or owner who cuts corners and does anything for a buck, leaving a trail of burned contractors, employees, and customers in his wake.

However the man who takes his cultivation serious can grow enormously in any of these roles... Far more so than he can in any other way.

That’s because central to each of these roles are two elements as crucial to succeeding with women as they are to succeeding as a man: the social crucible, and responsibility for more than one’s self.

Men in STEM fields, despite their smarts, often don’t do well with girls. What’s the cause of this handicap – and what can you do about it?

STEM is an acronym for the academic disciplines of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. It is a moderately strong stereotype that men educated in these fields are socially awkward nerds who struggle with women.

Why is this the case (that STEM men are so often nerdy and awkward and not good with girls), and what can be done about it?

The author has studied math, physics, and computer science and would like to give his thoughts on this issue.

The first thing to be said about this problem is that it IS to some extent true that STEM-educated guys have problems with socializing and women, and thus the corresponding “nerd” stereotype is rather common with students and workers in such fields.

Obviously not all STEM guys have problems, and for those who do have problems, they are rarely unsolvable. The challenges STEM guys face have several different causes, and some personality traits should be reviewed before we start discussing solutions.

It’s easy for guys to get hung up on a girlfriend’s sexual history. Yet you can get over this if you choose to. To do it, you’ll use 3 steps.

Whenever we start dating someone new, we’re bound to soon discover a few facts about who they once dated and the amount and kind of sex they enjoyed, whether we like it or not. A new girlfriend will often tell us about her past, or we’ll end up asking about it. Either way, sometimes the truth can hurt. A lot.

Learning that a partner once enjoyed threesomes, had five sex buddies on the go at once, or has slept with fifty guys... this can be a hard pill to swallow. Some men are able to just forget about it. Some don’t care. Others slip into a whirlpool of self-torment characterized by OCD-like repetitive thoughts and emotions which they find extremely hard to shift.

You may have heard of this form of anxiety-ridden obsession referred to as “retroactive jealousy” or “retrospective jealousy”. In men this tends to be an anxiety about a girlfriend’s sexual past. In women it tends to be an anxiety over who their man was once in love with. There are genetic and biological reasons for this, but in this post I’ll be focusing on the former.

Now, not all men are willing to date (let alone marry) a girl who’s “been around the block”, and this is a perfectly reasonable position to take. But what if you’ve bagged yourself a great girl who’s wonderful in every respect, except you are bothered by her promiscuous past? Should you ditch her because she once used to enjoy hooking up with guys just for sex? Or, in later years, would you regret passing up on the possible love of your life all because of her past?

These are all points worth considering, because there’s nothing stopping you from moving on if you feel you can’t handle a girlfriend’s past or that you shouldn’t have to learn about it in the first place. Many guys hold this view, and some studies have shown that the more promiscuous a woman is or has been in the past, the more likely it is she’ll cheat when she settles down.

However, if you happen to think she’s a great girl in every respect but are obsessing about her “number”, then it might be worth trying to regain control of your thoughts and emotions regarding this.

If you want to start overcoming retroactive jealousy rather than be tormented by it, keep reading; in this post I’ll show you the tools necessary to learn how to get over your girlfriend’s past. The first step is to research and discover what causes a retroactive jealousy disorder in the first place.

Fractionation lets you up desire, curiosity, and compliance. It’s also a fun way to handle objections. And odds are, you use it already.

I wrote a very long essay on the subject of fractionation last summer. In that essay, I used a real-life event (a “lay report”) and used it to cover fractionation – one of the MOST key concepts in seduction.

After re-reading that post, even though I still consider it one of my favorite pieces of writing so far on GC, I felt the need for a simplified version. First of all, the previous post is a bit too long; secondly, it puts a bit too much emphasis on the use of fractionation in one particular situation – the one from the story covered in that post.

Truth is, fractionation is so versatile. I am sure you are probably already using seduction techniques (either consciously or unconsciously) that are based on fractionation. Most good seducers out there use fractionation, and it is, in my opinion, one of the most powerful concepts out there. In this post we will cover what it is, in a simple, straight-to-the-point way – so that you actually get it.

In my article on how to take girls off their “scripts” (i.e., having them abandon whatever they’re doing or trying to do, and have them come be with you on your terms instead), a reader commented on a point of confusion:

“Moreover, you’ve even written an entire article on “disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend”. But in this [article on taking girls off their scripts], you suggest that its best to make clear what you actually want (even if that is to be her boyfriend).”

I understand his confusion. I should stress before we proceed that a big part of my approach with girls is to be inscrutable: I throw off conflicting signals so a girl can’t nail me down. Just when she thinks I’m a hookup-only guy, I ooze a little romance and her brain starts going crazy. “I thought this guy just wanted to hook up,” she thinks, “and yet he’s so romantic! Maybe it could be something more? What’s going on?! I can’t figure him out!”

This is the same type of mixed signaling you see characters like Simon in The Saint and Juan Antonio in Vicky Cristina Barcelona use (and that’s where I got it from, guys like this):

James Bond uses it a lot in his films. Christian Grey uses it. Every Byronic hero does, more or less. She thinks she knows what this guy is about... And then she doesn’t know what this guy is about. He’s so confusing. What is he about?

At some point, you have to let her figure out what it is you want though, and that’s the kind of ‘clarity’ I meant in the scripts article. She has to be reasonably certain that, “Okay, I think this guy wants to hook up with me,” or, “I think he wants to really date me.” The reason you want her to figure this out is because you want her to start imagining it. If before she was only in single-and-carefree mode, and you want her to be your girlfriend, she needs to think about becoming your girlfriend first.

This article is going to be about that. Or at least, some of that. Therefore, this one won’t be ideal for beginners... Since we’ll be talking about running, essentially, two kinds of game at the same time:

1. One part sexy, bad boy hook up guy
2. But also one part mysterious, inscrutable, romantic guy
   

You do not tell her you want her as more than a fling, or even imply it with words. You want her to read between the lines with you. You usually won’t tell her you want to hook up with her, either (unless you’re Hector. Or Romanian).

This clarity is all implied... Which means it’s never completely clear.

And the reason you never make it completely clear?

You want her to choose you, and feel the choice is her choice.

Tests, complaints, difficulty, and betrayal. It’s easy to see why some men think women are evil. But is what they do the product of villainy?

This is a sentiment we’ve seen various commenters, forum members, and passersby express over the years. That “women are evil”. They are bad, devious, snake-like creatures, not to be trusted. They are the Devil himself, in his most seductive form.

I addressed this to a certain extent a few weeks back in “A Few Thoughts on MGTOW: Men Going Their Own Ways.” However, I want to address it head-on in this article. If you have trouble believing any man could actually seriously think women are evil, here’s a comment from a reader named Neal on my recent article “You Only Get One Second Chance”:

“This is actually a good article on the evils of women. Ah well, I got banned from Chase forums for making these posts. They were deleted too. The irony though is that my articles were really good, and were deleted, but they reoccur in some other form by authors here.”

I’ll begin this article by stating that any man who places his trust unconditionally in anyone else than his mother or his father sets himself up to be made a fool. Friends may turn their backs on you, children may forget about you, mentors may give up on you. Women may leave you, scorn you, or humiliate you.

Which is not to say any of these people will do these things. Only that they might. There are plenty of men with friends who last a lifetime, children who serve them with filial piety, mentors who champion them ceaselessly, and women who never waver in their devotion to them.

But the men who’ve been burned, well, those are the men you hear from who stop by to educate you on how terrible the nature of this or that segment of the human population is. Friends are mere opportunists, mentors will abandon you, children are leeches, and women turncoats. They’ve seen the ugly side of things, and they’re convinced this is the true side of things. Anyone who says different is silly, naïve, trapped in childish delusions... or worse: a snake himself, slithering around sowing confusion so the party doesn’t end for all the other snakes.

In light of these opinions, in this article, we’re going to have a look at the nature of man. We will examine why men (and women) do the things they do, both in support of those around them, and to those others’ detriment.