Dating

We've been talking a lot about relationships on here recently - but so far, it's been more on how to have healthier relationships in your own right. But how should you go about selecting the girl you want to have a relationship with in the first place? As you might guess, your ability to find the right girl is enhanced significantly if you know exactly what you want her to be like.

We’ve all heard a million times before that a ship without a rudder ends up on a reef… and that failing to plan is planning to fail… but are you really planning what kind of girl you want to attract into your life?

Put down in writing the exact kind of girl you want to attract for your ideal relationship.

Describe her in detail… her physical traits as well as her personality.

What does her hair look like? What race is she? Does she have big breasts or is she super-slim? Is she educated and ambitious or sweet and homely?

Write it all down… and add it to your daily affirmations.

Whether you believe that the law of attraction is at work here, or whether you believe that goal setting isn’t much more than programing the subconscious mind and the reticular activation system… either way, their effectiveness has been established over and over.

You may have heard the old Yale survey that showed that the 5% of students who had written goals at the date of their graduation ended up having a higher net worth than the 95% of students who didn’t COMBINED within 20 years of graduation. Well... it turns out that was just an urban legend and there never was such a study - BUT, there's still been plenty of research since then that has firmly shown the strong positive effect setting goals can have on actually achieving those goals (see: A meta-analytic study of the effects of goalsetting on task performance: 1966–1984, or Building a practically useful theory of goal setting and task motivation: A 35-year odyssey, to name just a few).

In any case, I have some good news for you… the girl that is your EXACT type… the one you REALLY like out of all the beautiful women you’ll come across day in and day out… is the one that is most likely to also REALLY like you back.

I haven’t seen any scientific studies about this yet, but I have made this experience time and again… my personal theory is that this happens because you both subconsciously realize you’re an ideal genetic match for each other.

Note from Chase: This is a guest post by Mark Manson, founder of Postmasculine.com. Mark writes on a range of topics, including confidence, self-improvement, dating, and relationships, and has been one of the friends of GirlsChase.com since the site's beginnings.

Take a moment to consider…

…That instead of worrying whether she’ll like you before you approach her, you could instead worry whether after you approach, if you’ll like her?

…That instead of feeling the need to impress her with your job or accomplishments, you could need to be impressed by what she’s done and accomplished for herself?

…That instead of sitting there silent, wondering what to say next to get her to like you, you could sit there silent wondering what she will say to make you like her?

…That instead of waiting around for her to return your call, you could find something to do so she waits for your call?

…That instead of worrying if you’re tall or good-looking enough for her, you could decide whether she’s too superficial to recognize your great qualities? 

…That instead of trying to come up with the perfect date, you could decide that a woman who really likes you doesn’t need a perfect date?

…and when I say “street-to-bed” in a day pick up, I’m not talking about the red light district either!

When I first started approaching women, that was THE big motivator for me – okay, at the time it wasn’t even about taking them straight back to my bedroom just yet; in fact, if we’d have sex on the third date that would have been fine for me back then.

But, all the beautiful girls I’d see downtown every day had me *wishing* I knew what to say and do to meet them, and to start some form of relationship with them.

Today, first sex on the third date has become a very rare occurrence, and I’ve since learned that given the right circumstances and the right guy, almost all women will have sex on the first date, no problem… so all you need to do is CREATE the right circumstances, and BECOME the right guy.

We’ve talked about this topic on the blog before, and about what it takes to be that sexy man that women want and to create these circumstances to pick up a girl fast - feel free to review these two articles real quick and then come back here.

Back with me?

Great… then let’s talk about how to make that happen RIGHT after you approach a girl in the street during day pick up.

If you're like most guys, figuring out how to make her want you can feel like a full-time job. But if you look at people who have similarly-veined full time jobs in their own right, you can make making women want you go a whole lot more smoothly, and a whole lot more easily.

Take marketers, for one. Marketers have always fascinated me…

They really have the art of persuasion and influence down to a *science*… and that’s exactly what mastery of any skill should be:

A marriage of both art and science.

By way of an example, look at picking up girls…. There is the art, the intuitive part of game… the calibration, the spontaneity and simply being creative in the moment. Your right brain does all that.

But there is also the scientific aspect of pickup. From psychology and biology, we know a lot about what women want, and a lot of behaviors can be predicted – and even triggered – quite consistently.

It’s no different with marketing.

If you’ve read the post about how to seduce women, you know that improvement happens gradually, over time, and by jumping from one so-called plateau to another.

That’s why it is important to constantly improve yourself in order to achieve dating success. Today we will talk about a specific formula, so you know just EXACTLY how to do that.

As Tony Robbins says – you either grow, or you die!

• If you hit the gym every day, you will become stronger… but if you don’t work out, you won’t stay the same… you’ll lose a little bit of muscle mass every single day.

• If you stop making more money, you don’t automatically conserve your wealth – you have expenditures to worry about, and inflation is eating away at your cash too.

• If you practice the guitar, you get better at it – but if you stop for a while, you don’t maintain your skills… you get more and more rusty, until you suddenly start making mistakes in songs that were once easy.

Ignacy Paderewski, a Polish pianist, is famously quoted with the words: “If I miss one day of practice, I notice it. If I miss two days, my wife notices it. If I miss three days, the audience notices it.”

At the same time, improvement is very gradual and often invisible… until a sudden leap to the next plateau occurs. It is important to stay dedicated ESPECIALLY when you’re not seeing any results… that way, they are GUARANTEED to come eventually.

If you move to a new country, you may not understand anything in the foreign language at first. Then, some day, you will wake up and think to yourself – “Wow! I understand everything!” The gradual improvement was not noticeable.

Rather, you made a leap to the next plateau.

And, it’s the same with your skills with women. Work on them consistently, expect gradual improvement, don’t be discouraged when you seem to be getting nowhere… and just keep going.

A friend of mine asked me my opinion on how to get a girlfriend the other day, and as I’m giving him my advice, I thought this might interest you as well.

Some guys want to get a girlfriend, for whatever reason…

• Maybe you’re just looking to have steady company, or you’d like regular intimacy with a girl that’s more than just a friend with benefits

• Maybe you want to find a deeper emotional connection, or you want to have somebody to snuggle up with over the winter

• Maybe you want to take a break from “the game”, or maybe you want to get married and have kids?

Whatever the motives, here’s how to get a girlfriend, in 5 steps… and while this may contrast with advice in other articles on how to seduce women quickly, it actually doesn’t differ that much… you’ll see.

There is a phase that every student of the Art of Seduction goes through... and that is the FLAKE phase. This post is about what to text girls to get yourself through that phase... as quickly as possible.

You’re already advanced enough to approach women, get them interested in you and even to get their phone numbers… but they just don’t pick up the phone, answer your text messages or come out on another date with you!

This is one of the most frustrating experiences, because while you have the numbers of twenty beautiful girls in your phone, you might as well have none. They enjoyed your approach and seemed into you, but suddenly it seems almost impossible to meet them again, and they hardly give you the time of day.

I remember when I hit this plateau in learning how to seduce women myself. Now, I’m a real enthusiast when I want to learn a new skill (some of my friends might even say “obsessive”), so if I want to figure something out, I really dig my teeth into it until I have it NAILED. And I did the same with the topic of flakes, and text- and phone game.